Did you ever pretend to not speak or understand English in order to avoid an awkward situation?

Did you ever pretend to not speak or understand English in order to avoid an awkward situation?

>be me
>commuting to uni at noon, train is almost empty
>two old, fat and loud Murrican "women" sit right next to me
>"Does this train stop in XYZ?"
>they've bought tickets, they have to know this
>signs literally everywhere showing the next stop and the entire plan
>final stop also being announced all the time in both German and English
>pretend to not speak English, grab my phone and earbuds and look out of the window

Doing god's work

I do this all the time when charity people come up to me on the street to try and get my credit card information.

nah.

But I did pretend to not know German while living together with a German exchange student for one semester.

I don't trust Germans, so did it to keep an information advantage over him.

He never did speak badly of me to his german friends though, and we got along great. I might have broken protocol on one of our last parties though, some drunken german sentences came out, but I think they all forgot it pretty quick.

I kept it up when getting a German professor too.

The only downside is the lack of practice in the language, but thankfully I have friends following the same protocol, so we speak German to each other, as long as there's no Germans around.

9th of April, 1940. Never forget.

That won't work with most of us. We know that all of you are bilingual and speak english

>put on my parent's Russian accent
>mumble random incoherent words
>get away with lots of hilarious shit
>decide to fuck with the same guy at the movie theater who works concessions for the black panther premier
>could never understand me the previous 30+ times I've pretended to be Russian since going there
>wan big tub of uhhhh uuhhhhh uhhh cuh corn?
>guy getting frustrated again but continues putting on his fake smile
>and and a uhhh soda?
>"what size sir"
>I wood like uuuhhh a uhhh a big wan
>pay for stuff and get ready to leave
>"Oh heyyy user whats up?"
>girl who lives down the hall from me is there
>didn't know she worked late that day
>cashier guy is really confused now
>I try to talk as little as possible
>girl asks if the guy and I know each other because of his weird look
>about to say nye and try to end the conversation
>guy I knew from high school shows up
>"oh hey user long time no see"
>hey
>his mom is there too
>tries to make more conversation
>still have the accent on so the theater employee might still think I don't speak english well
>pretend to look around for a clock
>I uh have to go now
>walk away with my popcorn and exit the theater
>missed the movie

>see all the americans with canadian flags on their bags LARPing as Canadians to make europeans hate them less
Why do you do this, own it.

When foreigners use American English terms I pretend to not understand them.

>canadian cope
>only 0.001% of American tourists are self aware and only half of that 0.001% might do that
just accept that you fagets put your dumb flag on all your travel gear and blame americans whenever one of you does something embarrassing

>American tourists are lost and ask me for directions
>I yell "HANDS UP, DON'T SHOOT"
>giggle like a school girl and run away

Anyone who unironically would treat someone badly just because of the country they are from is a cunt desu

fake and gay
also reddit spacing

>"albie dear please take out the trash", his mom says without thinking, after watching an american film
>"what? I can't quite understand you mummy. did you mean the rubbish?"
>"y-yes, the rubbish"

like what for example?

>whenever one of you does something embarrassing

Canada is a civilized 1st world country that values social cohesion and education. Never have I ever witnessed a Canadian embarrassing himself.

Americans on the other hand...

>like what for example?

"Asians" instead of "Muslims".

Brits are pretty good at taking out the trash though. It's how the American colonies and Australia were founded.

A Czech coworker asked something about diapers, I pretended not to know what he meant.

Us calling Asians 'Asians' is use literally not being Americanised though.

>healthy young Canadian visits my town (live on the border)
>asks for directions to some park
>says thanks and starts to jaywalk across the street
>gets semi-hit by a car turning the corner and tries to walk away, almost trips over curb

Some time ago I accidentally got into some unknown to me district of Moscow. I asked a passer-by where's the nearest metro station, and he come up to be a fifty-sixer. I thought "Dios mio, la creatura de las Americas" and pretended that I don't know any English.

TIL diaper is an american word

>15
>visiting Britain to ses relatives
>at a pound shop buying candy to bring home for my sister
>not buying enough to warrant a basket
>my hands are full and I needed to get my wallet
>Absentmindedly stick some chocolate in my coat pocket just to free up my hand
>employee behind me grabs by shoulder and starts telling me off
>immediately regret my decision
>stay completely silent and leave as soon as possible

>says thanks
What a wonderful, well-adjusted human being.
>gets semi-hit by car
Literally Somalia-tier.

autism

>jaywalking
hmm
maybe use the fecking CROSSWALK EH

Every time i have an invalid train or bus ticket in a foreign country i pretend to only speak dutch. After a while they can't be bothered to try and explain it to me anymore and leave me alone without a fine.

I didn't noticed at first glance that he was a shitskin (or mutt), but his accent was obviously murrican.

No, but I did push a Kraut exchange student down some stairs one time. They manage to look like autists even while tumbling down a flight of steps.

>gets semi-hit by a car

It probably was a mobility scooter.

not sure why anyone would voluntarily go to your wasteland of a country lol

>car turns the corner at a slow but steady pace by a tall square brick building
>gaynadian is almost to the other side, doesnt use visible crosswalk that was 20 feet away
>car slows down enough and canadian is basically sitting on the car pretty much unhurt but still "hit"
>gets up and trips on the sidewalk because he was looking at the street signs
hmmmm

>doesnt use visible crosswalk that was 20 feet away

I assume an Amerifat was blocking his sight. Damn you, Canada, for not having x-ray vision that can penetrate 70 miles of lard.

Lol, Moscow is full of fucking tourists. Well, mutts are kinda rare, but euroscum is ubiqitous, and in few past years there are a heaps of chinks and japs visiting.

Based

Yes.
There was a group of israeli children in my city. They had flags n sheeit.
They had some weird assignment with a checklist of places they need to check out and buy/see something.
When the guy in charge of the group asked me about my favourite doughnut place
I told them no hablas ingles.

what happens when you inevitably meet a staff who can speak dutch, mejneer?

Almost nobody outside of the Netherlands speaks Dutch, as long as he isn't on vacation in Belgium I think he'll be fine.

this is why we need no singles policy

>walking in amsterdam
>some smelly southern Italian calls out to me
>"excusa mi sir where is-a de raaaiiiksmuseum"
>only reply with the words "no english"
Works every time.

>english speaker asks for directions
>"Lo siento, no hablo ingles"
>spanish speaker asks for directions
>"Sorry buddy, I don't speak spanish"

No, never.

I like to help people. Although it is pretty rare to find someone who doesn't know some arabic here. Even the filipinos know enough to be able to speak it.

Stop making threads that are just attempts to shit on America

I grew up in the country so I just unleash a stream of Ausbonics incomprehensible to the average Melbtard.

This

【A foreigner problem in Japan】
Police, municipal officials and regional representatives went out to protest against a foreigner to stop torts and problem behaviors.

The foreigner who protested from the Japanese pretended to not understand Japanese language and shouted.
In that way, he drove away the Japanese who went to protest.

Such things happen in various parts of Japan where many foreigners live.

...

>be walking through downtown
>hobo asks me for money
>“eehh…yoh hæblow asspahnyol, no hayblow englayss” in thick canadian accent
>guy literally says
>“fucking foreigners ruining this country”
>trying not to laugh in his face

No but the opposite happens to me when people use slang. I don’t understand half of the post on this board

how is that possible if you don't even have to learn a second language and have all time in the world to master a single one? is your brain underdeveloped?

Exactly what we do with swedish. I quess the difference is people expect us to speak swedish.

I hate when they start to speak english to me as if it was natural and obvious that I speak their language
If we don't they get visibly angry
That's why I never help american tourists
Brits at least have the decency to approach you with two words of french

Always remember when i was in France and my brother ordered a sausage roll
>Un one sauage roll civilly please

kek

>tfw I do it in my own country
>tfw of Shitalian descent
>some retard in the city speaks to me
>reply in Italian and go on with my day

This is Autism with a smile.

Fuck off faggot

I'm always helping foreigners, last Saturday when a couple was standing on the wrong platform in the train station for example but last spring there was one occasion when I pretended that I didn't speak French.

>sitting in an open café in Strasbourg
>enjoying a local beer
>get approached by a begger
>'Sorry man I don't speak French.'
>'MM-MONEY'
>'Sorry, I don't understand.'
>Already frustrated he walks away.
>Order a second beer in perfect French a minute later.

> not giving them wrong directions instead

Better to simply close Sup Forums then

>I stroll around in the Court Garden of Munich with my French Canadian gf during a date a while ago.
>American spic manlet, member of a bigger tourist group approaches me having heard me uttering some words in English
>He asks me to take a picture of them.
>I oblige and purposely cut off the legs from the photo
>He goes: 'So where are you guys from.'
>My girlfriend relunctantly tells him that she is from Canada to avoid the next question which would be along the lines of 'So in which Canadian state is the city Kewbek?'
>I surpress my German urge to not bother strangers by engaging in small-talk and tell him that I'm a local.
>Up until this point the whole Interaction was in English.
>I can see the surprise in the facial expressions of the girls next to him that they thought I was a tourist as well.
>The chick on his left making an inaudible 'o' with her lips upon hearing this, indicating the drop of her panties when she imagined herself with a tall, multilingual, Sup Forumsernational boyfriend in envie of my gf instead of the company of an dumb manlet Amerilard.
>'Oh we are from California', he tells me in his usual American arrogance that expects every foreigner on the planet to know about internal American geography.
>He asks me: 'So do you guys know anything about this place'
>I pretend to be ignorant in order to prevent myself from being recruited as a free tour guide.
>I tell my gf in French whether she has noticed that all guys in the group are noticable smaller than me which made her giggle
>the manlet bobbles his head autistically up and down in order to appear like he understood what I just said.
>He asks me for directions.
>I tell him the wrong way and we say goodbye to each other
>I continue the date and bang my gf the same night.

>Jaywalking -- ie, just crossing the street wherever -- is illegal in America
Land of the free my fucking ass

Why exactly are you discussing diapers at work?

>annoying women try to get in my way to sign their stupid petition
>strong accents, must be eurocunts
>speak in the little polish I know to pretend I'm an international student or something
>one of them responds in Polish
>I walk away at an autistically fast pace
Fuck lads I think I need a new strategy, also how do I avoid someone for the rest of my time at uni?

>German student approaches me at a bus stop looking for directions to a university
>Pull out my phone and use google maps to show him the route
>He thanks me and I wish him a good day

I pretended not to speak Spanish in California. I was hoping to catch some people talking trash about me in front of my face, or even just hear someone say some anti-gringo thing. All I ever heard though was some chubby latinas at a house party talking about how they thought I was hot.

I used to drive limos and when I'd be forced to talk to drunk people or horny old women I'd pretend I could only speak Armenian or Spanish.

Unfortunately I live in LA so there was always a 50% chance they could speak Armenian or Spanish.

So much people here are into weird shit just to avoid having a conversation.

Why? Why are you doing that? How hard can it be exchange few sentences?

based

Next time just ask passenger(s) to be quiet and stop distracting you from driving.

Autismo mate. Where the fuck do you think you are?

>Fuck lads I think I need a new strategy,
Tell them you are not interested and you are in a hurry.

How did you get a French Canadian gf?

HelloTalk, I'm not joking.

>>get approached by a begger
>>'Sorry man I don't speak French.'
>>'MM-MONEY'
I always ask them what for do they need money. If they answer they are after some booze I give them some change.

If they try to fuck with me I interrupt them and ask if they are going to spend the money on booze or cigarettes. If they continue acting stupid and coming up with various excuses I ask them to leave/GTFO. Otherwise I gave them some change.

I value honesty in people. It's becoming more rare these days.

We like the sound of finnish swedish :(

That's easy; drunk fuckers here get belligerent and if there are multiple passengers that want to start a fight it makes for a shitty situation.

Any means to protect yourself from these fuckers? Do you have a divider in the car that separates front and back seats?

Danke Schön mein sehr Geehrte Nachbarn

Don't hit on chicks directly if you are interested in more than just language exchanges or you will get your ass banned fast. Move to another platform before that.

Nope, I was assaulted twice and the company did nothing to help me. I left a while ago and am suing the two passengers. Thankfully I got it all on camera.

Mexicans do it all the time in Arizona

>and purposely cut off the legs from the photo
kekkey kek

I did this when riding the train back from the Olympics. I just bought the wrong ticket and pretended to only speak French. The two times they said something they left me alone because no-one in Korea speaks French.

I dont remember exactly, but I'm fairly certain I've done that. I've also just kept walking/blatantly ignored desperate cunts asking for something.

Bitch I'm a celebrity, I'm a higher mind, I'm the absolute being, I dont want to waste time on you especially if you dont ask me ultra-nicely.

Last time I went to France, we were at a motorway service station and I was getting something off the menu. Instead of just butchering the French pronunciation, my immediate thought was to say "I want the second one and a cup of coke" but in Mandarin.
I quickly corrected myself and just said the butchered French and asked for coke in English, then I forgot how to say "thank you" in French so I said it in English.
Felt like a right spastic.

Why do Chinese students studying abroad never socialize with anyone else, ever?

>I value honesty in people. It's becoming more rare these days.
Another invaluable parcel of wisdom from the country of Tolstoy, Chekhov and Dostoevsky to godless gaijins.

I avoid people that know me at public places

Since no one can speak English in my country tourists rarely ask for directions.

>I don't trust Germans
Germany doesn't even trust itself, so we really can't complain ^^

>They manage to look like autists
What makes us look autistic

I like talking to them

I was talking to a Canadian woman about the great lakes the other day

autism generally

We don't smile enough.

Indonesia is.

Didn't I read this already some time ago

the correct term is nappy

based hans

is anyone here not autistic?