What the fuck did I just watch?

What the fuck did I just watch?

A piece of shit

torrent when?

It was alright, the character of Valerian was the worst thing in the movie

Why it did feel like such a RPG what with all the side-quests?

>1- retrieve the rat
>2- gain information about the Mu... something planet
>3- follow the Krikkit-ripoff to their lair
>4- save Laureline by...
>5- acquiring shapeshifting alien
>6- sneaking into the restricted alien zone-thingy
Nothing flowed.

Keanu reeves worst movie

It's like one of those games where the story moves forward only when you press F. The narrative felt unnatural and artificial.

Is it a French thing?

you can't even remember a name of a three letter planet. And "nothing flowed", kek did you get that phrase out of some how to be a pleb instruction manual?

A scifi film.

I enjoyed it more than any other scifi in the last years

>I have an idea to adapt a little known comic property into a sci-fi epic of grand scope and amazing visuals!
>Great! Now get me two of this generations most bland, charisma-free stars!

you should watch the bad batch

I'm French, and I wouldn't say so. This was probably more Besson cramming everything he could into the story, neglecting how it'd it make evetything stray from the main storyline.

I watched it two weeks ago my dude, and I had to bear it in French, so I wasn't paying attention half the time.

Anyways, who are you calling pleb? The story is fucking simple when you leave the side-quests out:
>follow the commander to the pale alien lair, and find out they're good guys
The only reason the movie spans for more than ten minutes is because of the dumb side-quests thinning out the runtime for the main storyline. Admit it, it's a dumb story, and the padding on it is what doesn't make it flow.

MOTY

I really like Dane Dehaan. But in this movie he's really miscast. The same for the flatfish.
The dialoge was also bad.

Still I really liked this movie. I hope for a sequel/reboot.

A 200m boring, terribly acted flop.

COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT COPY THAT

The next generation of The Phantom Menace.

So, let me see if I remember that right:

Valerian ended up crash-landing in the supposedly radioactive death zone and they had no way to contact him so Laureline goes through that random jellyfish scene.
His crash site turns out to be JUST BELOW an area that includes a large, notorious civilisation and a redlight district that is patrolled by the station's fucking security officers (didn't Valerian even call back to the commander there?).
Laureline gets captured but could totally flee any moment since their suits are capable of breaking through solid steel walls and yet never did nor shot any of those fuckers in the face when pulled up like Valerian did.

How the fuck does ANYTHING of that make any sense?

Twenty years later it will celebrated as a masterpiece?

Depends on what Luc's TFA is going to be.

Six millions

>"I'll hunt you through the entire galaxy!"
>nothing ever comes out of that threat

Bland characters mumble to each other for a hour

Valerian and The City of Thousand Planets

If you don't know what it is, it's probably kino.

A great film that the majority will later regret not watching on the big screen.

It had some good parts but the inconsistencies were just too wild, it was also unnecessary long, or at least felt like it.
I was actually looking forward to this...

>goes through the whole disguise thing to avoid a diplomatic incident with the aliens
>reveals himself as human before their king and kills them all
???????

This probably pissed me off the most on top of taking what felt like a fucking hour.

Is this the new spy kids movie?

It's telling when no one even bothered to make a cam. Hell even the emoji movie has a cam.

>this generations most bland, charisma-free stars!
Stars is a bit much.

One was a child actor and the other made some porn.

Guess sci-fi needs low budget actors so they do shit like boogiea and what's her face nonames.

A shit movie

Besson scripts have been absolutely terrible lately. It's like he doesn't understand the basics of storytelling. Was 5th element a complete fluke?

PORN? Where!?

>Besson scripts have been absolutely terrible lately
>lately

>Was 5th element a complete fluke?
They made profits more on the international market. But it got Bruce willis when he was still a bankable actor so it got a pass on the storytelling department.

Valerian? Nothing is compensating its storytelling and the below average actors made it even worse...

It's just a more realistic approach to storytelling, and the French do that a lot. They acknowledge not every story must be perfect with a perfect flaw, and instead make more irregular, broken things, which gives them character. It flows, it's just that it's made of several complex stories that each have a touch to them, and you're put off by how intricate the whole thing is.

...

I liked it very much and it was refreshing to see.
I couldnt watch it in english, only dubbed which i suspect it helped to the characterizations a bit since it was fine. I not only do not understand the hate but also the score and complaints. It was funny, cool looking, concept refreshing and endearing. Better than anything this year. Wtf is with critics i do no know.

Still not perfect.

>Wtf is with critics i do no know.
They keep shitting on capeshit but still give them good grades, and whenever a movie does what they've been waiting for so long they trash it.

Also because critics have gone from reviewing to making a name for themselves, and being edgy is all they have left to differentiate themselves. Trashing a big name is always a good thing for them. The issue is people still take critics seriously.

This isn't the first industry to be hit by retarded critics that only aim to make themselves known regardless of the content.

Agree, still the user's score is still lukewarm where it should be a hit.

I've seen some legit movie shit this year, mainly Covenant for example. Somehow it gets a free pass with people when it was plain retarded.

Is it normies? It's the "normies", right? When they arrive at the desert planet and they're getting into the "Bazaar but in another dimension" concept thing I thought "Yep, this is where you lost 90% of the moviegoers". It was cool as fuck (yet has some inconsistencies but not sure about the "rules" of interaction between planes).