What would you do if you came home and found your best friend mowing your lawn?

what would you do if you came home and found your best friend mowing your lawn?

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lemme smell your fingers

Tongue Punch his poop box

hahaha

tip him probably

>Poop
The saying is tongue punch is FART box
Poop is too on the nose

in my culture you make a frikandel speciaal for him.

then he tells me he left some spare change on top of the fridge
"oh, nah.. no reason, was weighty in my pants"

I'd give him some cheese and a bellyrub.

Yeah it is.

Probably hug them a little too tight since I haven't seen my best friend in almost two years and we live too far from each other now.

Buttfuck his dad with his moms headless corpse on the front lawn.

Put on Giles, Giles and Fripp

youtube.com/watch?v=WC8-mfrLecc

I'd thank him by deep-frying his Mars Bar.

so nobody would mow my lawn coz i dont have any friends

...

Not politics

They weren't best friends, they were partners on the force

As someone who has slept with the gf's of 3 different best friends over the years, i cann tell you the lows outweigh the highs and its generraly not worth it

...buy Hailey's pussy was tight af. Im not really that sorry Colin

at least you have a lawn.

the fuck, it's like a flashback.

...

You fucking asshole I'll never forgive you for fucking Hailey

the correct answer is:
he wouldn't mow my lawn because i don't have a lawn and i don't have any friends

there's no one to correct that for you

I would mow his lawn too if you catch my drift ;)

what did he mean by this?

Colin moar liek Colon, amirite?

Lose my fucking mind because he's been dead for 4 years and was cremated.

Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch puts paws on your chest nyea its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft* mmmm so musky drools all over your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply

facts
friends dont exist - they are a fiction
we're all in this alone g

Visit soon bby

Same here man. Best friend has been dead for 16 years now. rip my bro.

iktf bruh

Help trim his pubes and ass hair. Its not gay if you don't have sex. Look, if you don't shower with your guy friends and help them groom you are probably a shit friend.

Fact
Your parents and grandparents probably are the only people who genuinely care about you.

but I care about you,
I care about all of you

...

...

i love you to bro.

nah. last time I talked to my mom she told me to commit suicide. no one cares about me.

Ever tongue punch a turd cutter?

she's wrong and your better than that. you have a community here. real equality where your view is judged harshly but fairly, we all care about each other, newfags are new and they'll learn better than what someone told them about b when they first arrived, but they will learn. if you can see through the veil, this is Zion, and we rule.

I'd wonder how I became best friends with a mexican

Awwstralia

me and my best friend rent a house together so i'd probably feel bad that he does more housework than I do so i'd clean the countertops or something because I try to be a good friend I just suck at housework.

Tell him he missed a spot, and be careful with the blade clutch on my fucking tractor.

lok, broheim. I don't need you to tell me shit is ok. I know why my mom wants me to off myself, and it is money. and least of all do I need you telling me I matter. I know I matter. I am me. there is no other me. when this one goes out there is no save state. whatever exists, if anything, I probably don't get to bring my conciousness. my father beating me sensless. my mother hating me. my grandparents teaching me every life skill I know. my first kiss. kari. she was so beautiful. my first fight. I almost won.

I do not want to die, because as much as I hate myself I have good memories. I don't need your mickey mouse teir bullshit. you don't love me. no one does. and I am ok with that.

I'd thank him, give him a beer, then we would go inside and reminisce about the great race war that brought back our wonderful ethnically homogenous, high-trust society. Then we would cuddle up on the couch and watch Jared Taylor lectures on jewtube and then make sweet love all night. Goddamn it's good to he white bros.

Jesus no wonder no one likes you.

why am I best friends with a mexican

go in and grab each of us a beer