The Dark Tower

JUST FUCK MY CINEMATIC UNIVERSE UP!

What the fuck were Sony thinking?

>Sony

>fang

What did she mean be this?

Look at that fang

...

Fuck if I know, how does this studio stay running? Who the fuck keeps selling them IPs? The Dark Tower could have been the beginning of an extremely profitable series of movies, instead Sony half assed it and raceswapped the main character, guaranteeing that this IP is worthless for the next decade. Sony is clearly desperate for a big flagship series but it's like they don't want to do the work to actually get one and their people are more interested in "so progressive!" type shit than they are in filming movies.

They didn't just raceswap Roland, they made the film a weird quasi-sequel to The Dark Tower novels. If they had just made a faithful adaptation of the novels with a white guy playing Roland they would've had a hit but instead they fucked everything up. Their incompetence is staggering.

The raceswapping is the least of its worries. They managed to make this IP so generic and fucking bland looking. Nothing excites me about the trailer.

>they're still going ahead with the series
L O L

They said that about Ghostbusters too, it's just a ploy to make the fat blue haired girls who worked on this thing feel better.

they already have a TV series in the works iirc and IT should tie into it somehow right?

>emoji movie makes $26 mil opening weekend
>dark tower is probably barely going to scrape by $20 mil

Fox said the same thing about F4nt4stic 4. Studios always bullshit when things aren't going well, they never say "we fucked up. Forget everything we said before, this franchise is now on ice."

The raceswapping was a huge red flag that this was going to be shit, swapping a white guy for Idris Elba probably wouldn't save this thing, but it would probably attract more fans of books, and the genre as a whole, if Roland looked like Roland and it would have improved the movie just a little.

>adapting an adult book into a young adult movie

for what purpose

Several times more money (theoretically)

That's a good point. Overall it doesnt seem to respect or understand its source material.

>we want the maze runner/hunger games audience

Was there really supposed to be a cinematic universe for this movie, though?

Just seemed like IT and Dark Tower were coincidentally being produced around the same time. Unless there was gonna be a whole thing with spinoffs regarding Dark Tower lore.

>Unless there was gonna be a whole thing with spinoffs regarding Dark Tower lore.
That was the plan. They were gonna turn this into a massive franchise.

who the fuck cares about a sci-fi western
even kids hate that shit

Welp, goodnight to that idea.

What I don't get is making a movie that's a sequel to the novels. All you're gonna end up doing is either wasting half the film with expositional monologues or forgoing that and completely confusing the fuck out of an audience that never read the series.

WRONG

Westworld would disagree, there.

>in the first book, Roland sticks the barrel of his gun up a fat lady's puss and aborts her demon baby with it
>he fucks some scarred up chick while contemplating how ugly she is
>he murders over a hundred men, women and children when they get whipped into an evangelical frenzy by aforementioned fat bitch, including shooting a child in the face and blowing its head off
>he drops his 12 year old surrogate son to his death because he had a chance to catch up with and have a chat with some dude
>the movie is rated PG-13

sounds like the trump administration

Fuck off don't even try it. We are not turning another thread in a Sup Forums argument.

It would be nice to have a thread that doesn't devolve into Sup Forums shitposting.

I just watched this movie and I could tell it was going to be terrible when it started like a 6th rate YA novel. There's this misunderstood kid who has prophetic dreams and he turns out to be "the chosen one" (or in the movie's case the one who "shines" hardest) for no reason other than to forward the plot of the movie. What a bunch of shit.

If it was a sequel where was the Horn of Eld? Where was the fucking horn?

>start the thread specifically calling out the film for being "lefty"
>people call you out for being a retard
>"l-let's not let this become a Sup Forums thread hahaha!"

The cast was fine. The script, direction and Sony killed the franchise potential.

would you all say Cowboys and Aliens was better.

>>start the thread specifically calling out the film for being "lefty"

Are you on drugs? Where the fuck did you read such thing in the OP?

Yes. At least that movie knew it was schlock.

Westworld>Rango>Cowboys and Aliens>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The Dark Tower

>go then, there are other adaptations than these
can someone translate this into english

>Westworld
the movie right?

both would be the best of that list

Eeeeh the movie has the merirts of antiipating both The Terminator and Jurassic Park, but except for that it hasn't aged well.

>Sony
>thinking

It was on tv like a month ago, it was alright.

How come I've yet to see anyone mention the two weirdest parts of the movie?
>Roland and Jake go to Jake's home to find his mom dead, the camera pans up to reveal the words "Hello There :)" written on the wall
>Walter forces the gunstore owner to shoot at Roland, Roland aims at him and the owner says, as if he was asking about the weather "Stop. It isn't me"
I laughed out loud at both of these things, and I can't believe that they used that take of the owner in the final cut of the movie

That's the other DT thread ya dingus

>implying anyone in this thread has actually seen the movie

fucking Sony
it's a phrase from the book, said by Jake before drowning to let the Gunslinger go on
"Go then. There are other worlds than these"

>implying I haven't scoured the Internet looking for references to these bizarre additions

>What the fuck were Sony thinking?
They want them marvel bux.

If they wanted Marvelbux, they would have played it a whole, whole lot safer. I don't know what the fuck they tried to do with this film.

>they would have played it a whole, whole lot safer.
Marvel risked everything with that Iron Man movie. Sony is exactly playing it safe, trying to start cinematic universes with established franchises and shitting the bed every time.
Are you sure you don't work for them? You sound retarded enough.

Different studio you dumb fucking retard. IT is WB.

They didn't have the patience of Marvel to build their universe over years and years. They wanted the big bucks and hype to roll in with one film. Sony made TDT generic and unoffensive to appeal to as many demographics as possible.

Fuck off

What's established about making a Stephen King cowboy black?

A Stephen King cowboy. You couldn't get whiter if you added mayonnaise.

Decent kid's movie. Absolute shit adaptation of the source material.

I could literally run Sony better than they do. And I don't even know what "run a company" entails or really means.

The Hello There :) is pretty in character for Walter. He leaves a smiley on the note telling the bar chick about nineteen in the Gunslinger, and in Wizard and Glass leaves a smiley on a note threatening Roland and them to leave the Tower alone.

Dude just fucking loves smiley faces apparently.

They wanted to rush the piece of shit out and hoped the big names would help make up for its bountiful shortcomings.

>who the fuck cares about a sci-fi western

You mean Lupin the 3rd in space.

Outside of the episode with the cowboy, it really wasn't a western

That cowgirl with the big tits was in every episode.

The characters seeing a TV show with a cowgirl on it doesn't make it a Western.

Okay, bye.

They raped Roland's character in ways that had absolutely nothing to do with race. Elba was actually good considering what he had to work with.

"I aim with my heart"

Jesus that's a cringeworthy line. What were they thinking, that audiences would think this is cool?

>reddit tomatoes

does this mean Dark Tower is good?

Did anyone else think the cinematography sucked in the trailer? The visuals of the movie are just so bland

>Can't even get the quote he's trying to shitpost right.

A lot of these movies that are getting these bad reviews don't seem like they should be any worse than any of the other garbage in the past 5 years that have gotten good reviews. I feel like reviewers got together to see how much they could affect things with their bad reviews.

Movie still needs to make $100 milion+ to break even.

Yeah, it's a mediocre movie, but some of these reviews are fucking weird. I saw one saying the action scenes were too hard to follow. I could understand boring and uninspired because they are, but you've got one guy shooting at things, it's not hard to follow that.

I'm with you guys. It's incredibly mediocre, but it's no worse than the overwhelming majority of schlock Hollywood churns out on the regs. If I'd never read the books, I'd have had zero problem accepting how badly they butchered the characters.

Walked out of this one after 15min. One of the worst I've ever seen.

If they wanted a cinematic universe, why cram so much of the books into one movie?

Wouldn't one movie=one book help stretch out the material and allow greater depth.

Much like with the Spiderman movies, studios want to cram so much into movies that they fail due to bloat.

>this studio stay running? Who the fuck keeps selling them IPs? The Dark Tower could have been the beginning of an extremely profitable series of movie

This is the dumbest thing about this. Even if it was a faithful and/or well-done movie I doubt it would make much profit. Very few people are going to go see a movie about magical cowboys. Stephen King's redditor fanbase keeps pretending that these were some acclaimed classics when they were nothing more than threr competent, weird genre books from the 80s and then just unremarked upon trash

>The cast was fine.
No, no it was not.

>implying anyone is dumb enough to pay money for this dumpster fire

Neither does Sony

Seriously? Ah shit. How incompetent are these people?

Damn it. Just wrote this in another thread:
I don't care about Dark Tower, but I want The Stand to be done, and done right, probably as a miniseries, but HBO needed to do it I think. When this bombs, I am that much further away from seeing a new, polished, Stand series.

I'd be all about that as well. There are entire seasons' worth of material just *getting* to Boulder.

Imagine being the director and told your movie was #1 on one of the slowest recorded box office weekends for the year.
yeeesh

Yeah and nobody would ever watch a movie about elves and orcs or some shit about aliens and laser swords, hell those idiots over on HBO are adapting some shitty George RR Martin fantasy garbage, can you believe that? We're smarter over at Sony though, we're putting Melissa McCarthy in Ghostbusters

Critics base their opinions on hype and consensus from twitter. They're like robots at this point. I think this might be why based Armond gets so much attention, because he hold opinions that are unpredictable. He's anti modern critic in a way.

>implying

Pretty sure he has a smiley face button in the stand as well

Some kind of arcane Tax Write-off for Sony or the execs are actively trying to run the film-making division into the ground so someone else can swoop in and buy up all their IP for bargain bin prices?

>magic cowboys
There's nothing magical about the gunslingers. They're just autistically trained since childhood to do nothing but shoot and reload at the speed of light. Roland's guns are made from a melted down Excalibur, and they have a bit of magical properties, but Roland himself is just an extremely well trained gunfighter.

>never heard of firefly

"The face of your father" is way too celebratory of the Patriarchy

That wildly successful show

Shit that's right. It's been a while since I've read the Stand.

>Sony
>thinking

You say that like it is a bad thing.

The movie fell into trap of being in development for far too long. The various stages of production during the 10 or so years it was almost made at some point, begun to stack and when Sony finally had the window of making it, they rushed it out in order to save money and keep in the director and actors hired for it before yet an another batch would leave the project like so many had done previously.

:( anyone seen it ? Was it that bad?
I like Idris Elba, but seeing 5+ scriptwriters or w/e was a horrible sign.

It's not a good adaptation of the books. As a standalone movie, it's overwhelmingly meh.

>trigun doesnt exist
Fuck off nigger

>They're just autistically trained since childhood to do nothing but shoot and reload at the speed of light.

That's just a part of their training, Cort teaches them tons of other combat and survival tactics while Vannay provides a more traditional education, on top of learning about the mystical shit that they may end up facing one day.

The ones who focus on nothing but gunfighting tend to get their shit kicked in pretty hard against actual gunslingers.