The Pulse Storytime (Part 2)

Welcome back Anons! Time for the first of many events and their tie-ins!

>tfw i was new to comics and asked for recs
>told to read secret wars
>bought this
fuck that was a disappointing buy. I don't think I have regretted or learned more from that experience.

Okay, Bendis? You've written litterally EVERY appearance of Jessica Jones at this point. You know for a fact that she's never met Danny.

Why would he listen to HER over Luke?

If DC had made an event with this title, Marvel would've sued because it could be confused for their Secret Wars.
But Marvel did it themselves, so lawsuits aren't a problem, ironically missing WHY that is an issue. The issue being literally what happened to you.

This is now a Vanellope thread

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Annoy someone else, will you?

Vanellope is cute! CUTE!

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>Bendis talking shit about Mr. Fear
>So Brubaker makes Mr. Fear ruin the waifu Bendis made his Daredevil

So if you ever cared enough to find out why White Nick Fury isn't running SHIELD in modern Marvel?

This is why. You're welcome.

Remember, not only does Nick Fury know who Iron Fist is, he also basically knows everything worth knowing, and he'd definitely know Danny's secret identity.

Of course, maybe he's trying to be nice.

They lied to you, the original Secret Wars is nothing special. Hickman's Secret Wars is an unengaging mess.

What drives a stupid fucking faggot to ruin a storytime, I wonder?

By the way, to my knowledge, this is the first instance of Luke being REALLY hard to do surgery on ever comes up. It's an obvious weakness when you think about it, and it happens to Luke a few times, but here's where it starts.

He's been doing this almost every thread since Alias. I have no idea why.

Remember, people say Bendis knows a lot about police stuff.

Because I'm the Joker, baby!

Go trip and break your own neck, will you

The premise of this is the kind of autism I'd expect from past his prime Byrne.

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I remember this. It's another case of good art not salvaging terrible writing!

I bought the first issue of this, disliked it, and went on to only read Bendis in scans from here on out.

>"I think the Punisher just got pinched."

I think it's a coincidence, but the Punisher actually DOES get arrested a little after this. Early in Brubaker's run, after Bendis ends his Daredevil by having Matt get arrested for being Daredevil (I'm sure he had actual crimes besides being a vigilantee, enough to be put in the same prison as the Kingpin and Bullseye, but I forget them), the Punisher finds out, snaps the neck of an abusive pimp in front of a cop, and surrenders just to help Matt out.

Because having your new girlfriend make fun of your old friend's clothes always works out.

>wanting to jump in at the start
>doing own storytime

hope i finish in time. I wanna experience BendisVengers with Sup Forums

This would be a great page, in a Cyclops book.

That's basically the story of Bendis's work at Marvel. If they stopped giving him the popular titles and best artists, he'd still be a nobody I figure.

What took you so long?

I'm only doing his New Avengers (maybe an arc of Mighty Avengers if it ties into New Avengers). If you want to experience the rest, you can storytime it yourself in a week or two.

>This is why. You're welcome.

I thought it was because he was KING OF THE MOON MEN or somesuch bullshit.

Nick Fury has been getting ousted from being head of SHIELD since at least the 80s.

If he was a nobody he wouldn't be getting high profile work you stupid faggot

Danny hasn't had a secret identity since he died, I think.

Let's just say some things happened, and I didn't have access to my computer.

This is one of the last times I liked, REALLY LIKED, Luke Cage. This and I believe later on when he's talking about raising the black population of Latveria by 200%

No, that's why he's not doing anything PERIOD. As a result of what happens in this, he isn't in charge of SHIELD, meaning Maria Hill is in his place, fucking everything up.

Bendis dialogue is really offputting for reasons I find hard to describe. Part of it, at least, is his inability to write more that a single voice, but I think there's more to it than that.

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He's writing books that basically sell themselves, and is given artists that make his stories readable despite his shit.

>Super tuchas

Maybe it's that his single character voice is "irreverent Jew" like he was writing for Seinfeld, but even that had more than just Jerry and George.

No, he definitely has one. There are people who don't know.
He just is shit at protecting it. Like, he makes Matt Murdock look like Bruce Wayne.

good with that. Speaking of sick Luke Cage he eventually homages Journey to the Center of the Vision in Avengers.

it's strange to see like SHIELD brutality. when was this published yearwise? i feel like bendis might be commenting on something

2004.

I'm sure that accounts for all of his awards and critical acclaim, you pleb

>books that basically sell themselves

he did make Avengers A-List.

>"They're terrorists."
>published in 2004-2005

This story will have the tact of a kick to the dick, I can already feel it.

>Scorpion suit

Hey, remember how that used to not come off and that was most of his motivation for doing crime, in addition to the process of being made into being the Scorpion driving him insane?

>Bendis Internet Defense Force
Cancer.

If you'e ever played Marvel Ultimate Alliance, this should start to feel familiar.

took you this long?

also it's fucking Latveria of course it's Doom!

He has a problem where a lot of people finish eachother's sentences. Try that in real life once in a while, even with family members of close friends. See how often you can pull it off. I don't mean pulling some Joseph Joestar shit, just at least try and guess, in your head, what they'll say next. But Bendis lets almost EVERYONE seem to do that.

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>"It's happening again."
>They have the information."
>"Irrefutable evidence in their hands as to who their enemy is, and they are going to sit on it and do nothing."

Oh, I know it was going to be obvious symbolism and metaphors, but now it's getting comical.

Mods, do your fucking job and ban this cunt.

>Hey, remember how that used to not come off and that was most of his motivation for doing crime, in addition to the process of being made into being the Scorpion driving him insane?

There's one person who doesn't!

P

And after this we get a handful of pure text pages that we can skip, which is just the interrogation of Jack O'Lantern that was mentioned earlier.

my reaction shouldn't be for Nick to be more specific.

oh wait there's gonna be flash backs and Luke getting hurt is related huh

that the "is he bad or not" guy is fucking Dr Doom makes this hilarious. (sorry latveria not recognizing that sovereignty)

To be fair, Doom isn't running Latveria. It's this "Lucia Von Barda" woman.

Of the "bonus pages" the only ones worth posting are the ones with the "Secret War" costume designs, because they're kinda cool and poorly used in the story itself.

> a handful of pure text pages that we can skip

i've considered trying to storytime classic Avengers alongside those text oral history things Bendis did but don't wanna put in the effort

I'll check if I have them as we get to them. I'll be summarizing them anyway, because some of them (particularly the last one) is important.

This issue was a few months before Avengers Dissassembled, to give a time frame.

I admit, it's been a while since I read Bendis's Daredevil, but I don't remember his office being this busy back then.

>"WHAT'S MY NAME?"

I have no idea where Bendis got the idea that Luke does this, and Parker ended up doing it better anyway.

Like I think this is supposed to be Steve not getting what would make someone would like commit war crimes (gas or whatever) but it comes across as he can't understand insane ideology or complicated points.

So if you've ever wanted to see how Bendis writes an adult Peter Parker, here you are...

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Okay, Fury has ONE eye. Why would he turn so much, unless it's to TELL Peter "I see you, kid."

9/10 it's something a large black man said in one of his 'alone time' daddy movies.

Okay, this page was supposed to come before

We've already got that asshole posting pictures, user. Try not to post more, or we're going to not be able to fit the Pulse tie-ins.

I'm pretty sure Nick Fury got Peter's parents killed, so I don't get how he has any kind of favor owing from Peter.

>"Is that Luke Cage behind us?"

Bendis has changed Luke's design so much, even Peter doesn't recognie him!

And in case you ever wanted to see what a drunk Wolverine looks and acts like.

Ah, back when Quake looked exactly like Hackers era Angelina Jolie.

it's a bit right? Bendis ain't goofing this bad right?

I don't like this wolverine.

So is this really the first time Logan's met Peter Parker, instead of Spider-Man? Being two of Marvel's most popular characters, I feel like this would've happened before in the 20+ years they've been around.

Wolverine's Healing Factor is supposed to metabolize alcohol faster than he can get drunk.

I was going to wait for the reveal, but yeah.

Lies, he's been a heavy drinkin' canuck for decades, he talks to spirits, the eighty proof kind.

>Cap in disguise as a soldier

Christ Fury just send them in capes

I like to think Logan is stone cold sober, but knows that, if Fury needed him enough to ASK for his help instead of his garden variety manipulation, he can fuck around as much as he wants, annoying anyone he wants, and he won't get kicked off.
Basically, it's Logan being an asshole because he knows he can get away with it. In my head, at least.

>So is this really the first time Logan's met Peter Parker, instead of Spider-Man?

Nope.
Spider-Man/Wolverine had a MGN in the 80s by Jim Owlsley. Logan harassed a once again quit being Spider-Man Peter over a spy he was tracking down for the Daily Bugle.
It's always been in mainline continuity, because it killed Ned Leeds, a long time Spider-Man supporting cast member/Hobgoblin.

Bendis doesn't read comic books.

Where are the bright clean streets? Babooshka there shouldnt be scrounging in the streets or fearing her protectors.

And here's the page mentioned.

I'll admit, the Muslim girls I met didn't wear burkas, but are they normally as form-fitting as Nat's is?

Is Latveria a Muslim country??

Oh right, X-user storytimed that a little while ago. I forgot about that.
Stupid question, why are you calling him "Jim Owlsley", instead of what he's more well known as, "Christopher Priest"?

I don't know if Latveria has a state religion. I feel like it wouldn't, since Doom wouldn't want people to worship anything above him, but that would depend on how Latveria/Doom is being written that particular week.

So what's up with the dude from Reddit in this thread?

Because a) He wasn't Priest yet, b) people who know will know, and c) I doubt they 'fix' the credits on more modern reprints.

Credit where it's due, Cap isn't in disguise. One of the text bits that I mentioned says he's basically there as a distraction. Anyone looking for foreign agents would immediately look at Steve "Captain America" Rogers, and not notice the others. At least, that's what Bendis's Nick Fury is assuming.

Squirrel Girl got an award for art.

OVERTHROW DOOM?

HA! IMPOSSIBLE!

Good fucking god, look at the bulge Cap's packing right there. Someone took time and effort to draw that thing.

The idea that Latveria wouldn't have a flagging system for Wolverine is laughable.

Sadly user, the fact that Lucia Von Barda is the one in charge of Latveria means that someone already managed to overthrow him.

>he shoved A-list characters onto the Avengers
ftfy

puppet regime

also if i'm reading this right we're getting the story of Nick's coup that put her in place