I AM ZOLTRON, BOY OF THE FUTURE, GIVE ME A QUARTER AND I SHALL TELL YOU YOUR FORTUNE

I AM ZOLTRON, BOY OF THE FUTURE, GIVE ME A QUARTER AND I SHALL TELL YOU YOUR FORTUNE

I AM THROBULATOR! I AM A CREATURE OF PURE HEADACHE! YEEEEEEEEEEOW MY HEAD!

WHAT DO YOU WISH TO KNOW, THROBULATOR?

Zoltron, will Batman finally do what needs to be done? Will the Joker finally get what's coming to him?

HIS NAME WAS LOUD

LOUD KIDDINGTON

Okay.

Lemme have it.

*inserts plastic quarter* Hey Zoltron, where's the bathroom?

>*Inserts quarter*

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zoltron fails to grap the meaning of what your saying. What does the joker have "cunming" to him?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

You will find love and happiness, but only if you get shmittweibermeinjenkins hat for me tonight. Zoltron gets thirsty sometimes. If you fail to do this i see analrape in your future.
CHEAPSKATE YOU WILL BE BLUNDERD BY COCKS IN YOUR ASS
You and your kind will suicide enmasse for being replaced by minions

A shmittweiberme...what now?

He was number 1.....in BOOGIELAND

Dammit Zoltron! This isn't the time for your games! We're talking about Justice! We're Talking about Gotham City here! Will Batman rape the Joker! Batman has a duty to do. Sometimes in life we have to make the hard choice. Will batman do his duty? Will he finally rape the Joker!

Zoltron thinks the commisioner has gone insane, possibly....LOONEY

A quarter? Oh, that's one of those silver coins from Earth, I think I still have one from when I hosted a DreadZone campaign over there. That one was a fan favorite, too bad we had to retire it after we got a warning from some holdovers from a failed Gem colony. What a bunch of hags.

>*inserts a quarter*

What can do to make DreadZone the top program here in Solana? I'm already kidnapping heroes and pitting them against each other.

Hmm... Maybe kidnapping the same Gem hags that got my Earth campaign canned is good start. Viewers love a good cat fight!

Will I ever enjoy SU again?

How the fuck did this guy take over the world?

Zoltron, Take the day off, you need to get some robo ass before it gets cold again. Don't worry, I'll handle the fortunes myself.

Will I finally rid the world of Ningens

Zoltron thinks youd be succesful with child fights involving monsters and dan schnider. Also, you will have good luck if you brainwash your captured gems into sex slaves and give them to me, so i can think clearer and see the future better.
Yes
Fisting a donkey
Thank you "takes quarters" but zoltron enjoys his job of telling fortunes. No, if you have a hot sister zoltron could borrow for 15min to an hour.

No piccolo, you wont

*inserts a german mark*
Herr Zoltron, Vill Ich Konquer Europe?

Yes, but only if focus on killing jews and ignore the us for the first two years of the war.

I see sadness in your future no matter what you do.

...

DONT STEAL ZOLTRONS JOB FROM ZOLTRON, I PREDICT AN ETERNITY OF ANALRAPE

Ach Ja, vill dü. Danke Zoltron!

Zoltron the future police are after you and will kill you unless you get your robot johnson in a girl, I hear /aco/ has some nice robochix, maybe bring me one.
For now, eight ball will answer the questions.
I'll start, 8-ball, should I buy a snack fruit pie?

Yeah I too hate Ningens

So Batman DOES rape the Joker! THANK YOU ZOLTRON! THANK YOU!

You don't know how hearing that warms my heart.

ZOLTRON IS PORKING ROSIE THE ROBOT AS WE SPEAK, GTFO 8 BALL BEFORE ZOLTRON FILLS YOU TOO WITH HIS CYBERNETIC LOVE JUICE

Indeed he does, but hell need to practice on your tight elderly anus for two months prep time.

I've already been preparing for that moment for a long time.

>He's actually telling people about the future.

Oh dear, I will have to notify Sigmund about this temporal anomaly...

Also, as a fellow robot I should warn you that telling people about their futures alters it drastically. If they follow your advice, then the futures they desire to obtain will not happen.

As why this occurs, it's simply to prevent further anomalies from occurring and damaging the fabric of spacetime to the point where the universe collapses in on itself. Isn't temporal physics a fascinating subject?

YOU SPEAK LIES, LEAVE YOU INSUFFERABLE GIR KNOCK OFF

>a quarter

But sir, I am simply stating what other temporal physicists from across the universe have observed and recorded. If it was a lie then my processors would block that action and prevent me from saying it.

Hmm... After performing a few omniscans it seems that you have "told" the future to several members of the Sup Forums community, some of which are very powerful and VERY dangerous. I shall notify them of this fault immediately.

I beseech thee, o Zoltron. Will my waifu ever know happiness?

Yes, but only after steven heals her with his cum

J-Jesus Christ those legs

Will I ever have a robot daughteru to love and cuddle?

That strange little robot has a point! The future Zoltron told me didn't come true when I followed his advice!

You're on my list, Zoltron!

Yes, but i call premadona on her

Very looney

Will Trump win the election Zoltron?

All yourst ZOLTRON
Now do your thing

Yes
You shouldve stayed with ivy

NO WAY!

Will Trump win the next election Zoltron?

I'm all ears, sir

Maybe someday
Your gonna come over to zoltrons house and fill the void in his jeart. Zoltron is so lonely

I'll fill it with vodka, mate, it's with what I'm trying to fill mine.

You're in the wrong neighborhood boy.

idk why this made me laugh so fucking hard

BRING IT ON YOU TOWELHEAD GYPSIE FUCK, ZOLTRON WILL DESTROY YOU

Will I ascend to godhood today?

ZOLTRON COMMANDS YOU TO IGNORE THE 8 BALL HACK, LEST YE BE CURSED WITH ETERNAL ANAL RAPE

>Can only read minds.
>Zoltron knows the future.

The 8 ball has spoken.

You better bow to your new god now.

Hi Voltron rip off

ILL BREAK THEIR LEGS SO THEY ONLY BOW TO ZOLTRON, I AM THE ONE TRUE GOD HERE PEASENT
I AM A UNIQUE ORIGINAL CHARACTER DONUT STEEL THE ZOLTRON

Will I stop being a pathetic degenerate unproductive hopeless outcast either by dying or getting a fucking life?

my parent still love me 8ball plz tell me?

Zoltron predicts youll get a life, but your gonna need to go out and make friends first

I wish I could Zoltron, I wish...

Is my dick haunted?

Am I gay?

*inserts quarter* oh mighty and strangely sexy zoltron, will Peridot be confirmed best waifu?

She is already zoltrons best waifu

Dear God
Please can you make me rich?

Zoltron; will I ever find a life worth living? If not, will I ever find the courage to end it peacefully, quietly and painlessly?

Yes, but youll need to work hard for your dreams and find people to live for

>Breaking the legs of a ball

I don't see that happening.

Zoltron was referring to the accursed 8 balls cultists

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO...

BUT
THEY
CAN
DANCE

I left milk and cookies out for a giant red ape?!

Zoltron, will Stevidot ever become canon?

O MIGHTY ZOLTRON!

Am I destined to relive my life, exactly as it was, over and over again in infinite regression?