Be British

>Be British
>"telly"

>be British
>can't watch the telly without a license

>Be American
>"The Tube"

>Be American
>"The Idiot Box"

They really call it a tube?? It looks nothing like a tube

I know right, what fat dumb idiots

>be british
>"the chube"

We also call computers "the porn box"

Our laconic wit>British infintile sillyness

>watching British flick
>everyone drives on the wrong side of the road
Literally no one says that.

>Be British
>"flavour"
>"colour"
>"favourite"

>Be British
>"pub"

>Toob

>be American
>refer to slippy slidy browny poundy as "anal sex"
lmao fuckin yanks

>mfw americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars"
>mfw americans call motorized rollinghams "cars"
>mfw americans call Merry fizzlebombs "Fireworks"
>mfw americans call genocide 'Thanksgiving'
>mfw americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC"
>mfw americans call meat water "gravy"
>mfw americans call electro-rope "power cables"
>mfw americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a burger
>mfw americans call fart tornados "bar mitzvahs"
>mfw americans call twisting plankhandles "Doorknobs"
>mfw americans call french toast "pussy bread"
>mfw americans call breaddystacks "sandwiches"
>mfw americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards"
>mfw americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly"
>mfw americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator"
>mfw americans call tossin' the thimble in the tipper "Archiving the Thread"
>mfw americans call "A Biffa, A Kek, and a Lush" "Two and a half men"
>mfw americans call Montezuma's Revenge "Water"
>mfw americans call bobby buggies "police cars"
>mfw americans call hosh posh jerpee tosh "lingo"
>mfw americans call buzzy fuzzy trundlies "electric razors"
>mfw americans call cold-on-the-cob a "popsicle"
>mfw americans call "The Commonwealth Player's Beast Bungalo" "National Lampoon's Animal House"

>Be British
>Go to the Pictures to see the amazing Cinematograph show

>Be British
>"lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois lads bois"

>Living in Burgerland
>Go to the cinema
>Everyone sits down waiting for their movie, each with their Double hamburgers, extra large Freedom Fries, foot long hotdogs and extra large coke
>Production company logo comes up
>A few people go "woo" and "yeah"
>film studio logo
>More people cheer
>Film starts
>Half the people in the theatre stand up, cheering and applauding
>food starts flying everywhere
>Film title appears on screen
>Everyone else but me in the theatre is now on their feet
>food and drink being thrown in every direction
>People screaming
>People at the back chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A!"
>Hear a bang
>Several people have pulled out assault rifles and shotguns and are now firing them at them into the air with excitement
>Several people are collapsed on the floor after having heart attacks from the mix of fat in their arteries and the excitement of the movie

>chocolate globbernaughts - "candy bars"
>concrete tallyhassles - "buildings"
>motorized rollinghams - "automobiles"
>digital dallygnashers - video games
>hanging flipperbenders - "curtains"
>illuminating whipplesticks - "candles"
>wireless ringamajigs - "cell phones"
>floating jeffersons - "airplanes"
>fretted willybasins - "the loo"
>isotropic photophonograms -- "autistic"
>fiddly stringbox - "guitar"
>frizzly wizzlies - "Ice cream bars"
>Puffy Cornfluffs - "POPCORN"
>nutty gum and fruit spleggins breadstack - "peanut butter and jelly sandwich"
>horizontal rodgering arrangement - "missionary position"
>pigbits, cowleaf and devil's pumpkin served on a butted carbington - "BLT sandwich"
>polymer based floppy bendhung knobwanger with dangly plumdingers - "dildo"
>spinning washwally - "washing machine"
>Bushy Wagglesticks - "Tooth brushes"
>minty snagglethread - "dental floss"
>corkshafted bangwholler - "rifle"

>be British
>watch documentary about ancient Roman Britain with a bunch of black people in it
>"oi this ain't accurate!"
>get arrested for a hate crime

Don't forget
>tyre
>kerb

>be british
>literally piss myself laughing when typing the word amerifat

>be american
>get so excited about game of thrones I accidentally shoot my wife son in the head
>it's ok he can still enjoy capeshit

What is this? I was under the impression that it was reddit that regurgitated our memes, not the other way around.

>Be German
>"F e r n s e h g e r รค t"

>Be British
>Criticize Islamic terror on Twitter
>Get arrested

>Be German
>Literally watch kino every time I go to the cinema

>Americans in charge of spotting irony

...

>mfw americans call genocide 'Thanksgiving'

my sides

>mfw Americans call a rooty tooty point and shooty a "gun"

>mfw "freedom fries" isn't a meme

>mfw Americans call a [BLANK] a "gun"

...

>be british
>get kebab'd

TVs used to have tubes that would connect directly to the studios where the shows were filled live, hence the name.

I want another Crusades.

I'm cancelling my licence lads. Feels good.

is there anything more deppresing than britain
>shitty cloudy weather 24/7
>streets look like a mix of bagdad and pripyat

...

Good, the only thing on British TV these days are soap operas made for women and homosexuals, and shitty comedy panel quiz shows.

Cut that cancer off for good.

>is there anything more deppresing than britain

Americans that can't spell, even though they're No.1?

im not american sweetie
and i forgot about a little touch of nigeria, there you have england

America running headlong into 3rd world shithole status?

That's pretty depressing, user.

>saying kerb not curb
>saying curb not pavement
>saying pavement not cobblestones

What do muslims have against pigs that could justify killing a guy? I thought they just didn't eat them?

>Be British
>pop on the kettle

eh, with the ways things are going in europe england will surpass the USA on the shithole rank in about 20 years

>America 52% white, and falling
>Britain 90% white, holding steady

Britain is leaving Europe behind. Feels good.

>90% white
>holding steady
you know none of this is true

>he never experienced pig pussy
I will see you dead, infidel

fake news

>be british
>potato sandwiches are classy

>be British
>cook delicious wholesome meals for me son

Come on, just joking right?

>Be Israeli
>"The Electric Me"

Never heard that and I've been here all summer

Computer is fap machine

It's actually the boob tube.

>be German
>go to jail if you do the Nazi salute

Can't something the somethings

>be Canadian
>have free healthcare and a tolerant, diverse society

>"free" healthcare

>go to jail if you do the Nazi salute

Well that's what you get for losing the war, right Fritz?

never forget

Enjoy getting shot

>be British
>England is my city

ENGLAND IS MY CITY

BUT MY PENIS IS FROM OAKLAND

Get fucked moron it got posted here years ago

This is probably a half-truth

>all this america vs britain hate

Can we just all agree Canada is the best of both worlds?

Canada is a meme cunt.

T. Australian

>/r/Sup Forums attempting to recreate a thread from years ago using nu-meme trash

Fucking take that back eh

We should team up against these two countries, my autistic cousin. Bring your kid brother NZ

screens are actually a section of pipe

>be quintessentially british
>shout allahu ackbar then blow myself up along with innocent children

how is summer newshiiter

>mfw burgers call funsie forcey phallus friendship "being raped by a nigger"

>mfw americans call french toast "pussy bread"
What

>die waiting for treatment

A
LOO
MIN
NUM

>streets look like a mix of bagdad and pripyat
Nope, that's just Liverpool

>Be American
>"lappy"

These threads give me hope that yanks can actually dish out quality banter