ITT:we're in a sony pictures boardroom meeting

ITT:we're in a sony pictures boardroom meeting

I'M PICKLE RICK

What if Adam Sandler was Pickle Rick?

Rich Evans

Needs more dancing.

I believe Amy has another presentation readied for our enjoyment today.

What can we do to attract millennials to watching our movies?

Remember scarface?

A lonely little boy's Hanukkah wish comes true when the powers of magic and love combine to bring his favorite toy (and only friend) to life
Introducing...The Fidget Spinner.

Shmuel Greenspan is a friendless youth approaching his Bar Mitzvah, however he is tormented by his peers for being scrawny, weak, and unmanly. In this timeless classic, Fievel "Fidget" Spinawitz comes to life to help this ordinary boy cross the bridge into adulthood.

>pic related; sonyggers

...

Salty snacks!

Okay, colleagues, let me present my slide. I've got to tell you, I worked really really hard on this.

You can just see the vagina's start slobberin'.

...

those girls are cringing and embarrassed

Is that Bobby Shmurda

*gets angry at people taking notes*

The chairman of the board is bobbing his head ffs. Their fear dissapates to arousal. Lr2readpeople

The one in the corner is dancing to signal her will to mate.

Needs more products, what could be added, coke, Pepsi, pizza hut? we need more

>white people

Meeting's Over.

>Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape.

*buuuuuuuuurp* let's remake Emoji Movie

Apple products, Ben & Jerrys, Revlon, and featuring special cameo appearances by Rick Rubin and Bob and Harvey Weinstein

Send Seth Rogen and James Franco half a K of weed now!!!!

Let's make a movie about playstations. We'll call it The Playstation Movie. It will be about talking playstations and accepting new members into your community. Fuck it, lets have talking sony cameras and dvd players in there, too. It cuts to the chase straight up by having product placement for our own products seamlessly blended with the main characters.

>boardroom meeting

more like
>boardroom ROASTIE

People like salted snacks, we need to incorporate that into the next Spiderman picture.

You forgot about the Walkman and the discman, everybody loves those

I think we've really got something here

Kids like dubstep right? I've tried to listen to Skillex, that sounds like something the kids will like. Whatever our next movie is, put skull-X on the soundtrack. No, not the Owen Wilson comedy, the action movie - yeah, when there's explosions or something, I don't know. And make sure it's PG-13 - I DON'T CARE WHAT WE SAID, MAKE IT PG-13

That's some good vibes, I love it, but we should see if we can combine this with the fidget spinner idea mentioned earlier

The protagonist can be writing his down feelings on a SONY vaio. Put a SONY copyright Spiderman poster on the wall too.

Don't forget about grandpa betamax. Because remember the 80s??? What old respected actor can we throw a huge paycheck at for a phoned in throwaway performance this time?

This is Apocalypse now? It's gonna be 9/11-2 if you say another word

...

So.....What's our next money maker guys?
Any IDEAS?

The Steamroller would be guaranteed kino

GUYS
GUYS
WHAT IF
21 JOMP STREET
SPODERMAN

SOMEONE CALL PATRICK STEWART

So we all agree, the MAY MAY movie will go into production next month?

Bust 'em, Papa

the reshoots to remove all the pepes is taking longer than expected, commissar

Ok heres the pitch. It's world war 2. It's auschwitz. Everyone is tired and starved. The commandant I'm picturing rainn wilson, is trying to run a tight ship, y'know keep the fuhrer happy. But one prisoner (Melissa Mccarthy) keeps stepping out of line. It's schindlers list meets police academy.

...

okay gentlemen heres the deal
5 and we make the Emoji Cinematic universe

i think we need to notify the animation department on the new gender discoveries

Yesterday my sin gave me an amazing idea that this board should put into consideration

What if the Venom movie

has the female Ghostbusters as the main villain(s)

I think this would be a blast for the kids and again, you should think and think again about what I just said

if i get dubs we're gonna make

"The Meme Movie"

It's gold, but we need to shoehorn at least 2 more female comedians in there.

Gentleman, the time for the Pop! toys movie is here.

We have 3 films in development along with a Spiderman focussed spin off. Now pass me the coke tray.

How about Susan Sarandon and Jennifer Lawrence?

>make sure the audience knows the president lives there
lmao

do you think its time to reconsider some of the projects

Why the fuck is amy pascal still in charge after numerous bombs? Why did they think allowing a woman to have any power was a good idea in the first place?

She already left didn't she? That's why Pascall pictures were involved with homecoming as a golden handshake.

jewish

this user got quads. i think that settles it. now, we need to tie it in with something hip for the kids. what if they trick the guards by pretending to look for pokemon by the fence?

...

FOCUS GROUPS

And fidget spinners

What if we tried making a GOOD movie?

guys lest make Spiderman 4

no wait

fuck that

lets make The amazing spiderman 3

...

I smell a crossover. Go get Tobey out of the freezer.

>I write "Spider-Man vs The Amazing Spider-Man" on the white board
>silence in the boardroom
>I then erase the S in Spider-Man instead draw $
>immediate 3 picture deal and we start shooting next week

>...
>Weaponized, explosive fidget spinners... that play dubstep when they explode
>The kids will love it!

>erasing the whole S instead of just drawing a line through it
That's actually pretty funny. You're fired

...

...

So I've been thinking. We own all of these unused IPs and have so many talented people available to us. In this current political climate, I'm thinking a feminist take on He-Man could be great.
That's right, "She-Woman"
And I think Chloe Grace-Moretz would be perfect for the lead role. We'll get Amy Schumer to write it and star alongside as the sidekick. Then we can get Andrew Garfield to play Skeletor (give him a weird tuft of hair, kinda like a Trump parody).

I think Danny Boyle would be perfect to direct this! Also, we'll see if we can find a role for Lena Dunham because she's been so good to us lately and seeing her and Amy Schumer on screen together would be the cinema event of the year.
If we do this right, I'm thinking we could see Star Wars numbers at the box-office.

Why don't we make a movie about spoderman?

>the entire film is the two spidermen arguing which one of them is Batman and which one is Superman

isn't it dangerous to have a chimp on the loose like that

It'll be just like the Lego Movie, we can get all the licensed characters in there

only if we can have danny devito play orko

let's reboot "The Fifth Element"

>filename

Because it's 2017.

we can call it the sixth element! I'll get Bruce Willis on the phone

Hold the phone, let's get his daughter Rumer on board and maybe have Bruce do an uncredited cameo as a slave

Who directs? We can't get Luc, he's in movie jail forever after this latest flop.

Weinstein Brothers obv

I hear this Mexican guy, Innartu or something, has been getting a bit of hype lately. Maybe help us bring in the Latino crowd?

You son of a bitch. I bet some suited cunt has already pitched that.

"Meme Du Jour" + Moviestar Comedian on their last gasp of fame.

>"no one's ever seen a level 5 spinner...until NOW..."

But will Amy Schumer play barbie or not in that movie?

Kill everyone. Even myself.

Has anyone seen Amy Pascal's power-point screens with
all the shit about "pedigrees" and product placement?

Death is a kindness.

>IT'S NOT A TOOOOOY

MICHAEL BAY

...

What's the "fifth element", user?

Handspinner: the movie
starring Adam Sandler

>And I think Chloe Grace-Moretz would be perfect for the lead role.
Fuckin kek

>BBRRRRMMMMMM
>*Prometheus screech*

ITS CALLED THE REMAINDER CUZ DAS DU NUMBER THAT REMAINS

>Has anyone seen Amy Pascal's power-point screens
Where can I find these?

>who the fuck sent the email about making this a comedy? Are you fucking retarded? Comedies are for children! Get me Michael Bay! He's great for capturing the black audience!

>... "What black audience"? Get out of my sight you fucking racist!

FUND IT

GET THIS HOTHEAD OUTTA HERE