Fantastic Four cartoon storytime episode 15: Galactus

Ben: Hey! Gorgeous! It's almost time for us to be on TV. It's your favorite version, the one where you're pmsing all the time and have the pointy chin! Where's your workaholic hubby? He likes the show too.

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Reed's in his lab. He's been locked in there for 3 days straight. Sometimes I think Reed should have married his science equipment instead of me.

Ugh. Not again. Ok, Susie, you know how it is. If he could marry that stuff he could. He tried in Japan once and they said it wasn't legit. He loves ya. Just not as much as space ships, science, or himself. Being his 4th favorite thing in the world ain't bad though!

Ben: Hey! There's something over there to distract us from this conversation! Look!

Ben: I must need glasses for my adorable baby blue eyes! I'm seein' double! Four suns!

Sue: I see them too! I better call Reed and tell him that there's some weird shit happening outside our house again

I ALREADY KNOW! My super science sense is tingling! We need to check this out!

Ben: Uh oh now one of the suns is better! Let's go up to the roof so we can get closer and directly stare at it from there!

Oh boy! It's that time again.

Ben: What the hell? Now there's rocks floating up everywhere!

Johnny: What do you make of it, Reed, what's your expert opinion?

Reed: There's some sort of floating space debris but why someone decided to litter all over our beautiful smoggy New York City skies I have no idea.

Sure is!

Thank you

PERHAPS I CAN EXPLAIN. I HAVE FILLED YOUR SKIES WITH ROCKS BECAUSE THE SILVER SURFER APPROACHES

Ben: Silver Surfer? Who is he? Is he some body-painted Californian or somethin'

Why should we care?

Johnny: Shhhhh let the bald man speak!

THE SILVER SURFER IS THE ADVANCE SCOUT OF GALACTUS. HE DEVOURS ENERGY FROM PLANETS AND LEAVES THEM BARREN.

HE IS BAD NEWS.

I HAVE CONCEALED YOUR PLANET WITH SUNS AND DEBRIS AND SHIT TO TRY TO FOOL THE SILVER SURFER INTO IGNORING YOUR PLANET.

HE'S GETTING CLOSER. I HOPE HE IS NOT SUSPICIOUS OF ALL THAT STUFF I PUT UP IN SPACE. WE WILL SEE.

A planet? Hidden under rocks? Galactus will love it! He loves eating planets and he loves snacking on rocks!

Ben: That's a nice landing! Hey Is he wearing tidy silver underwears?

*BOOM*

Watcher: HE JUST SIGNALED GALACTUS. I HAVE FAILED

Watcher, why do you even bother? You offer the most ineffectual help I have ever seen. COME WE HAVE TO PREPARE FOR GALACTUS

Ben: You prepare all you want, Imma clobber!

Oh dear. Was I supposed to do something? Down I go...

Reed: He fell off! We have to hide the body before the police get here!

Watcher: NO. A FALL CAN NOT HARM HIM. I TOLD YOU GALACTUS IS THE REAL PROBLEM AND YOU WILL NOT LISTEN.

Watcher: LOOK!

Reed: Down there?

Watcher: NO. YOU IDIOT. UP AT THE SKY. GALACTUS'S TERRIFYING SPACE SHIP IS COMING. HE GOT THE SIGNAL FROM HIS SILVER HERALD.

Watcher: SEE? HIS TERRIFYING SPHERE! RIGHT NOW HE'S SAMPLING THE ELEMENTS OF THE EARTH AND HAS FOUND WHAT HE SEEKS. THIS MAY BE THE END FOR YOU, HUMANS.

JUST GREAT HE'S HEADING RIGHT FOR US.

Johnny: he came right to where the Silver Surfer's signal was sent! Say that five times fast!

Watcher: THOUGH HIS POWER IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION YOU SHOULD STAND YOUR GROUND. THERE IS NO RUNNING FROM THAT MAN.

This planet looks delicious! I will drain it of all its energy just as I have done a countless number of times elsewhere on countless worlds in countless galaxies!

Bump

GALACTUS! ALL THE OTHER PLANETS WERE MOSTLY DEAD AND THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE! LIFE FORMS! YOU JUST CAN'T EAT THEM! GO TAKE YOUR FAT ASS SOMEWHERE ELSE. EAT VENUS OR SOMETHING

Ben: Why is he green and wearing a skirt?!

Galactus: WHAT?! THE GREAT GALACTUS'S NATURE IS BEYOND YOUR MORTAL MIND. IF YOU PICTURE ME AS GREEN IT IS BECAUSE YOUR PUNY MIND CAN NOT CONCEIVE OF ANY OTHER COLOR. IF YOU SEE A SKIRT IT IS BECAUSE PICTURING ME IN PANTS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU.

Ben: Why you! I don't have time for a philosophical discussion!

Hey! He stopped my best Sunday punch cold!

Has anyone seen my herald? He's silver, rides a surf board? About so high? He's ALWAYS at my point of landing and he's not here this time. Where is he? I didn't approve any time off. How peculiar...

Sue: Who's out there? Oh! Maybe it's a t-1000? And he's hurt! I should help him! I better get him inside. He needs help!

*Silent Fabulous posing*

Johnny: What's he doing? Signaling his sphere? We have to stop him!

Watcher: HE IS TOO POWERFUL. DON'T TRY AND STOP HIM YOURSELVES.

WELL WHAT IT IS. YOU KEEP SENDING MIXED MESSAGES. SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TRY SOMETHING.

*THUD*

...

I hate tryin' to fight enemies with that much poise! He didn't budge an inch!

YOU'RE STARTING TO ANNOY ME. Let me just reach into my mansierre...

Aha! This should keep you quiet!

Hey! What's this? He tryin' ta fumigate me?

Reed: DON'T JUST SIT THERE IN THE POISON, BEN.

THERE! I GOT RID OF IT. IT'S SAFELY BELOW ON THE CROWDED CITY STREETS NOW.

Johnny: Treat us like insects? Let's see how he likes getting roasted! FLAME O-

Watcher: STOP. DON'T LIGHT YOUR FLAME THERE.

YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HURT HIM. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOMS AND WAIT FOR ME. GALACTUS WILL BEGIN DEVOURING YOUR PLANET SOON BUT THE WATCHER HAS A PLAN.

Sue: Hey! He moved! He'll be ok! Not so fast handsome, you had a bad fall!

I didn't fall. I was punched off the roof by the rock guy.

Sue: That's classic Ben Grimm right there! So who are you?

Silver Surfer: I am the Silver Surfer, Herald of Galactus, and together we will drain your planet of all of its energies!

Oh and thanks you guys for the bumps. It means a lot to me. How are you today?

Sue: Drain the Earth? No you mustn't! We live here and you'd destroy all life on Earth and we wouldn't like that!

And? None of you matter. Only Galactus matters. He said so himself.

Sue: Us? Not matter! We have hearts and souls and dreams! Beautiful dreams! Love! Friendship! Puppies! Of course we matter! Just like you matter to me! All life matters!

Hi, OP!

Hearts souls? Puppies? Dreams? I don't know the meaning of these girly things! But I know that girly things can be important sometimes! My head hurts... this is confusing!

Hiya!

ITS A BRO I TELL YOU

>I'm seeing double
>Four suns
Five panels in. That's a new record for making me crack up.

Sue: You have a bad bump! I can't buff and polish it but I have some headache medicine Reed invented.

It's called
Head on: apply directly to the forehead.
Head on: apply directly to the forehead.
Head on: apply DIRECTLY to the forehead.

Dayum, he looks fine as hell.

So how often do TV episodes get storytimed around here, anyways?

Fucking hell user, I snorted

Watcher: AND NOW! MY PLAN ONLY INVOLVES THE HUMAN TORCH. THE THING AND MR. FANTASTIC YOU GET OUT. THIS DOES NOT CONCERN YOU.

Reed: But but but... I'M the leader...

Jolly Green Galactus

My favorite mascot for canned peas

BEAR WITH ME. I KNOW OF A DEVICE. A DEVICE THAT CAN SAVE THE WORLD BUT IT IS IN A PLACE THAT ONLY THE TORCH CAN REACH. HE MUST OBTAIN THIS. SO GET OUT. SHOO.

heh

Reed: Oh well. Come on Ben. Let's get the mayor to clear the streets or something and get a bite to eat. All this world eating talk is giving me an appetite.

oh man its a rerun
jk, thanks OP this is rich

Watcher: TORCH! THE DEVICE YOU NEED IN IN THE DISTANT PART OF THE UNIVERSE

Johnny: So what do I do?

Watcher: FIRST YOU MUST CLEAR FEAR FROM YOUR HEART

I'm good now that I've found this thread

Watcher: AND THEN I OPEN A HOLE IN SPACE-TIME LET IT BE DONE! YOU GO BACK BACK BACK FAR TO A DIMENSION OF INFINITY. A LAND OF BOUNDLESS IMAGINATION. THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Watcher: BRACE YOURSELF. THOSE ARE CELESTIAL BARRIERS KNOWN AS UNLIFE. TOUCH THEM AND YOU WILL UNLIVE. IN FACT YOU WILL BE 20% MORE DEAD THAN YOUR AVERAGE DEAD MAN. STEER CLEAR.

Same desu

I can't believe this! Here I am! The Mighty GALACTUS and I'm here setting up my own world-eating machine... when I'm done here I'm going to have a word with my herald about making me do my own handiwork. I didn't give him a piece of the power cosmic for him to slack off!

Ben: He's almost done! We have to do something!

Reed: We will!

youtu.be/-b5aW08ivHU

And after all those delicious people on this planet are dead I'll go someplace else for seconds! God I love eating. Maybe a comet for dessert? MMMMMM

Sue: There! Your lump looks better! See! I'm useful!

I do feel better... but why are you helping me? I am your enemy!

Sue: You don't understand! You are important! Life is precious and so is the power of love, trust and friendship! Life is not to be taken! It's not us to take! Even a life from another planet must be helped! You are a beautiful person! We are all beautiful persons!

Silver Surfer: I didn't understand a word of what you just said but you did say it with conviction! Maybe you're right...

Sue: You're not a soulless slave! Help us! Help us defeat Galactus!

Defy Galactus? Can I really do that?! I wonder...
You know he really isn't that great of a boss...

Finally! once I link these converters I'll consume the entire sea! All that delicious water energy!

I just have to make contact here and ... what? There's no spark. THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPARK HERE AND THERE IS NOT. GALACTUS HATE WHEN THINGS DON'T WORK GOOD

NEVER BEFORE HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG. AND A BET ONE OF THOSE EARTH ASSHOLES ARE RESPONSIBLE.

HAW HAW HAW HAW. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE SEES I BROKE HIS STUFF.

HEY! GET DOWN FROM THERE! YOU FOOL! DO YOU THINK I CAN'T FIX ANYTHING YOU BREAK IN MERE MINUTES! STOP VANDALIZING MY PROPERTY!

Awwww shaddup! I can clobber as fast as you can build ya idget!

Oooof!

Reed: You got him?

Ben: Yeah sorta! He's just floating there!

YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT STUFF, HUMAN INSECTS?! YOU'VE JUST MADE GALACTUS MAD.

Silver Surfer: Stop!

Galactus: Et tu Surfer? You too have betrayed Galactus?! YOU'RE A HUMAN RIGHTS ADVOCATE NOW?

Made me spit out my chicken. Fell on the floor somewhere. I'm gonna have ants.

Silver Surfer: Betray you! No! I still love you! I just don't think killing the human race just so you can eat is the right thing to do. Let's find some other planet!

Sue: Reed! Look at me! I persuaded the alien to fighting our battles for us with some crap I made up about love and peace and he bought it!

Ben: The ever-lovin thing does not approve of love speeches being used to dupe, but we need his help! Reed! Rescue your wife so we can watch these two guys try to kill each other!

Reed: I can't wait! We have frontrow seats!

Silver Surfer: Please! Let us leave this Earth alone!

Galactus: What is this nonsense? Galactus commands you to talk to his hand for his face wishes to listen no longer!

Silver Surfer: Well if you're going to disregard my feelings like that we're going to have a fight! I don't want to hurt these people! I will not obey!

You challenge MEEEEE? GALACTUS?!!!! I AM POWER ITSELF! AND YOU'RE AIRING YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY IN PUBLIC FOR ALL TO SEE?

>IF YOU SEE A SKIRT IT IS BECAUSE PICTURING ME IN PANTS IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU.
kek

Silver Surfer: Well yeah... I guess that is what I did.

Sue: Oh no! They're going to fight now!
Reed: How much do you think the silver guy's limbs are worth? I call dibs! He looks like he's worth a fortune!

YOU'VE HAD THIS COMING A LONG TIME, GALACTUS