You wake up in the year 1618 AD

You wake up in the year 1618 AD.

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rt.com/news/420115-dyatlov-pass-tourist-disappears/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liao_civilization
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Note_Crisis).
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You fat American nerd

>americans
>1618

Hurrrrrrrrr

strangle all the d*nes i can to death

Why so hostile mate?

EU4 is shit

It was the best maplike image of the beginning of the 30 years war I could find tbqh

i kill myself
kill yourself

why you're part of your homeland

You skinny Romanian nerd

I would live a peaceful life and find a cute wife and have lots of children. I would use my knowledge to do good for my Norwegian nation.

...

sack Russian pussy.

You FAT FUCK. YOU ARE SO OBESE THAT I WANT TO ROLL YOU DOWN A SNOWHILL AND SEE YOU TURN INTO A HUGE SNOWBALL!!!!

You get raped by Sweden soon and partitioned.

And you along with us, Litshit.

Ooga booga where da Dutch women at

War's already over by then, this is the part were we pretend to fight by doing unsuccesful 2 week sieges and crashing boats into eachother.

WHERE CAN I APPLY?

It must be better than the part of Germany I live in

>tfw want to get into EU4 but I'm too retarded to play it

Best idea is to move to Ukraine,learn to ride a horse, shave all but the top circle of your head, and join the cossacks. Participate in some raids, get some qt Moldovan and Tatar sex slaves, and fight in some wars for the Poles when they want and if they start losing just join the other side.

strangle all the d*nes i can to death

But crashing boats into eachother sounds quite fun.

Start as an easy country with little niche things to worry about, like Milan or Vijayanagara

based

Thx I'm sure I can figure it out, I got bored of HOI4

Ottomans are noob's choice. Or Muslim Russia.

Once you play one paradox game, you've played them all, UI wise. Spend a few weeks at it and you can play the whole series.

Don't. They're boring map painting simulators.

t. brainlet

Support Richelieu in his master plan.

>GRUG SO SMART, GURG CLICK BUTTON AND PAINT MAPS

2bh now that I have like 500 hours in eu4, it is really easy. Only multiplayer with mods is fun anymore.
The game definetly needs more fleshed out features, especially combat and trade wise since those things are text-based RPG tier.
No idea how people have 2000 hours withouth getting bored of the game.

>almost two hundred years later
>soon

Map of Caucasus is ridiculous. Crusader Kings II is so much better.

t. butthurt Alan whose country is not presented in that game.

become vicerroy
tell foul tales about a prophecy that some day a disgusting argentinean mutt called Jose de San Martin will sell all of latam to the anglo jew through a blood contracct

>get taxed for not being muslim
>get taxed by christian overloards who dont even protect me and kill me if i dont pay

i go back to sleep

We were kicking their asses both before and after the Deluge. But first we have to suffer a horrendousley humiliating defeat by Poland's superior numbers in the pre-Adolf era.

These turkish rides in my hungarian homeland are getting annoying.

I don't feel safe under habsburgs.

>We were kicking their asses both before and after the Deluge
In your dreams perhaps and then you woke up in a piss of a Finn.

>tfw like this with V2 and HoI3

HOI4 is purposefully retarded in many places right now, so they can "enchance the gameplay" with additional DLC's.
It is ridiculous how inferior some things are compated to HOI2.

Watch a youtube let's play or a tutorial, copy what they do and write down the most important things. After some hours of gameplay you will have figured it out.

>But first we have to suffer a horrendousley humiliating defeat by Poland's superior numbers in the pre-Adolf era.
>superior numbers
Like at Kircholm, right?

Right.

You'd have to cherrypick pretty bad to make the Deluge seem like a Polish victory.

Hussars weren't even present at that battle. It's always the same poster cherrypicking shit, you.

The Hussars were there. If you recognize me, why do you insist on posting the same lies I debunked the last time?

Am I just wasting my time thinking you Poles possess higher cognitive functions?

Jihad against the Catholics. Proud jannisary

no idea what the fuck happens in 1618

>35k cav
>hussars

>pospolite ruszenie
>army
Yeah, right. Let me tell you about your country.

But we were not talking about Deluge?

Go for vicky2.

>republican education

>no idea what the fuck happens in 1618

No shit, I was agreeing with him. Hence the term "Right".

I hated how in Vicky2 I couldn't enact any reforms, because my country was quite successful and all pop's demands were low.
Goddamn, I had "basic education" only because I managed to implement it during early absolutist period, and couldn't push to reform it further for almost 100 years, despite high literacy rate.

>You'd have to cherrypick pretty bad to make the Deluge seem like a Polish victory.
It's called "Deluge" for a reason, user.

Play CK2. Start in Ireland/Scotland and you'll eventually learn how things work.

A guy got thrown out of a window and not much more

Write to Paradox on their forum, they added Ukrainian "nation" after hohols pestered them.

>doesn't use console commands to craft his autistic storylines and fantasy nations in-game
lmaoing@urlife

Loving it

>tfw too dumb for grand strategy
>closest thing for me is Total War
Tbh i preffer seeing the battles anyway.

>Not mentioning Simon Bolívar making this place even more shit in those foul tales.

please be bait

Bolívar was betrayed by everyone he had ever trusted lel. To the point that he died in a Spaniard's house.

Windows and banter.

FUCKING PROTESTANT SUBHUMANS DIE ALREADY

>get drafted into army which has 85% chance of death
>don't even get to fight, german mercenaries do all the work
>get to guard shitty villages and die of dysentery instead
well this is wonderful isn't it, truly a glorious part of our history

Paradox Games are for autists

At least you get to fuck Portugese women.

...

My ancestors :)

>brb inventing new weapons to kill the sw*Doids with

>putting flammable shit in a bottle and throwing it
>inventing new weapons

>Americas discovered

World is already ruined. Go back to sleep and hope to wake up before 1492.

shut up no one even knows you exist yet you bitch you fucking abbo

i'm not

eh

>brb tip off the Swedish governor in Finland that a finn is making Molotov cocktails
>a regiment of Caroleans show up knocking on your door
who else /devilish/

Woah calm down there buddy, it's not like you can do anything to us

i-i was just shitposting...

Finland would seriously beat you in a war within one week.

Jew the Habsburg out of their gold

>Finland would seriously beat you in a war within one week.
We're not the Russians dummy

>Australian army
30,764 (Regular)
14,662 (Active Reserve)[1]


>FINNISH ARMY
900,000 trained reserves

I would so love to go to war with little countries like Australia. I love little countries I think they are cute and I think Finland should annex them all

>900,000 trained reserves
>ship them over in a rowboat
>get BTFO of the water

Check this out Australia. FInland has the best artillery in Europe. We are the greatest country in the world and the strongest. I love being Finnish, it is the best. I think we would be able to beat Russia today since they are on the verge of collapse and can barely beat Ukraine. We are the strongest. Only China and USA can compare to us but we are working with China to make big money, and we are going to be European superpower while China controls Asia. Soon you will see!

The Khanganate will rise again to be sure.

I move back to mother England before everything goes to shit in America

Yes I can not wait my friend

rt.com/news/420115-dyatlov-pass-tourist-disappears/

> Ancient automated perimeter defense system from hyper advanced civilization that built the siberian cauldrons in the Tiaga.

> When places are have ancient names that translate as dont go there or death, that means danger.

A remnant of the Hyperwar?

you cannot even take back karelia
why not practice on the Sw*des?

China used to be Finnic
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liao_civilization
>A genetic analysis of human bone remains dating back to 6500 to 2700 B.C. in the Liao area, Haplogroup N (Y-DNA) (frequently in Uralic peoples and Yakuts) was observed at 60-100%

Hyperwar was not a meme it was real and the korean dog will pay for it we and our Chinese friends will end them soon!

Finland already controls Russia. Lenin was a Finn, during the reign of Kekkonen he was able to control the Soviet leadership (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Note_Crisis).
Putin is also a Finn.

Russia offered to sell Karelia back to us several times but we declined their offer. When we want Karelia we will take it. It is useless now and we will focus our energy on important things don't worry American dog soon you will pay when we and China destroy you.

ANd yyes we will practice on sw*Doids soon and Norwegians and Danes and Icelanders too. Nordic empire is very near!

I was wondering what Zaporoże is doing there in 1618.

At least your nobles could loot half of Europe.

kill some d*Tch p*Otestants

I have 2500 hours total playtime and probably the last 1800 are from multiplayer & achievement runs solely

The game is just mindless blobbing on singleplayer which might be fun if you are a brainlet

;_;

1618 you say? Welp, time to start another Cudgel War and assassinate Gustavus Adolphus before he again sits on a fire with our asses. We will avenge Jaakko Ilkka!