theguardian.com
>“I was laying screaming for help, I couldn’t get away from it, every time I managed to get up it attacked me and bit me and knocked me to the ground,” she told the Canberra Times. “I really thought I was going to lay there and die that night because I just couldn’t see how I was going to get away from it, it just wasn’t stopping its attack.”
>Evans received more than 20 bites and lacerations from the wombat’s attack, three of which required stitches.
Best country report in.
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Wombats are cute as fuck tho.
I worked with them when I used to work in the national parks.
Total bro tier.
would have schooners with again.
Are wombats really as immovable as this guy makes it seem?
worked at the reptile park for a while, the wombat there always ran up to us when we arrived.
they're no joke in the wild though, solid as a tank and dont afraid of anything
Yeah dude. never stick your hand in a burrow chasing a wombat.
Wombats look cute and cuddly but they're like a miniature tank.
You run over one and it WILL write off your car.
I've seen a shitty daihatsu run over one and totally fuck itself up, the radiator, bumper, alignment everything. the wombat was unfortunately injured and just needed some months of rehab.
why are aussy animals so hardy?
Even furry balls of uselessness are vicious.
Only the strong survive
I fucking miss the wombats man. Its been like 8 months since I've seen one.
they cute as fuck man. I love showing tourists the wombats, and they think you're Mick Dundee when you play with one like a pupper.
could have capitalized on some serious Scandinavian/Nordic tourist poon.
But seriously to anyone reading this thread.
Dont approach wombats, they may fuck your shit up.
>Schooners
Ya poofter. Why not a pint?
Wombats are the size of small dogs.
>“I really thought I was going to lay there and die that night because I just couldn’t see how I was going to get away from it"
How? Just... stand up and walk away.
How big do they get?
Also they're cute. I always assumed they looked like possums
Now i dont know much about wombats but they are rodents right? And small like a dog?
Why not just kick it in the face and go home?
Also do they poop cubes?
Trudeau is fucking hardcore
These things survive getting run over by cars
Literally this mane.
bought the size of a pitbull, but bulky as fuck
their fucking bulldozers, if one doesn't want to move, your not gonna move it.
I've herd of hunting dogs going into wombat holes, the wombat just turns around and crushes the dog with its arse
They're Marsupials.
Watch this video. it answers everything.
youtube.com
Swedish and euro women love aussie animals senpai. I dunno why.
Americans try and comprehend what we are saying then compare it to an animal they have "back home"
Chinks over-fish and take pictures of everything. and get assdevestataded when we tell them we eat roo.
Wtf why does everyone from Australia work at the parks?
Holy shit. Never realized that. Pretty cool. Thanks
>the weak should fear the strong
Their whole country is Jurassic Park
They're awesome burrowers. Considering their bulk (for what they are), you can see why they're tough buggers.
They're total bros too when in parks.
Cause the only animals the swedes and euros have at home are bulls
Wombats are vicious sons of whores.
I've seen them eat a cat alive.
ayyyyyy
Im proud of ya Singa-chink.
Buy yourself a beer for me.
Kicking it won't do a great deal, they're tough as fuck and have pretty massive claws. If you piss one off it'll fucking rape you, as in the OP.
I laughed my ass off at that article. Stupid bitch. You can't fight a wombat. The motherfuckers slap people's shit and give literally zero fucks.
Yeah most Australian animals are great when raised in captivity, although the emus had to be removed from the reptile park for harassing guests.
I think most Aussies know not to fuck with wild animals, just like most Americans know which neighborhood you just don't go in, for the same reason actually.
At least your animals won't take your wallet after they attack you
>Get beat up by a rodent
Sad imo desu
...
A kangaroo took my lunch...
shamefull desu
>not drinking tinnies
they also crush dingos skulls on the ceiling of their burrows
Highly relevant
HOLY FUCK I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!
> 2009
>be inna UllaDulla / Murramarang National park
> Stop by pebbly for a bit of a rest before heading north to Jervis Bay.
> Decide to do a bit of squidding while having lunch.
> Ill just take a quick nap.
> Wake up when a roo falls on me
> Apparently about 3 of them were helping themselves to my lunch esky eating the fruit and sandwiches and all my other shit and got a bit rowdy.
> Some dude was filming and posted it on funniest home videos for a bit of a giggle back in 2010.
Never even got my share of 500 bucks, the cunt.
The wombat getting closer when he first finds it is nightmare shit
Link to the video?
>UllaDulla
>Murramarang
>pebbly
>squiding
>esky
>having lunch stolen by 3 kangaroos
>kangaroo falls on you
Australia is amazing
RARE
A/ / R
R/ / A
ERAR
Brotier country. Great banter, also has an abundance of dangerous shit and lekker people.
I bet Americans will understand 50% of the words in this post.
Roos eat human food?
>rodent
Say that to a wombats face not online and see what happens
Solid 60%
Just like your white population
Fuck yeah they will. Fruit and sandwiches are like cocaine to the cunts. They're fucking pests. Little faggots will lure you in and act coy, then steal your shit right out of your hands when you're not looking.
Top post of the day
Literally what?
>flag
Yeah I was hoping to set up another country
I'll translate.
It was 2009 and I was in a National Park. I stopped by a small town for a rest, just before heading to Jervis Bay (which is another small coastal town in southern New South Wales). I decided to fish for squid while having lunch and then took a quick afternoon nap. I woke up to a kangaroo falling on me; apparently three of them were helping themselves to my lunch in my (cooler? Not sure what yanks call an esky) and then they decided to fight over it. Some fuckwit thought it was funny and filmed it, then posted the footage to Funniest Home Videos.
Apparently the video won a $500 prize and user here didn't get any of the prize money.
I want to shitfront a wombat
kek
Queens english/10
Haha, yea it's a cooler. I assume esky refers to Eskimo. You fuckers have the best colloquialisms.
Need the video senpai.
Kookaburras steal shit out of people's hands too
fucking laughing cunts
How does it feel knowing that this man played a part in the downfall of South Africa?
>Open Society Foundations Chairman George Soros began his philanthropy in South Africa in 1979, funding scholarships for black students at the University of Cape Town. In 1993, Soros established the Open Society Foundation for South Africa, just before the historic 1994 democratic election. This history links our foundation closely to the country’s dismantling of apartheid and its transition to democracy.
opensocietyfoundations.org
africanagenda.net
>“Mandela Washington Fellowship for Young African Leaders” ????? Who is founding this ? George Soros? Just like 23 Schools for Leaders all over the world founded by Soros to have puppets that will serve zionists. Very typical. Soros founded and send people to Poland during changes in the 90’s. He set up Batory Foundation to start the changes, but no one knew that it was to push Soros agenda.
>Soros has been active as a philanthropist since the 1970s, when he began providing funds to help black students attend the University of Cape Town in apartheid South Africa,[68] and began funding dissident movements behind the Iron Curtain.
>In September 2006 Soros pledged $50 million to the Millennium Promise, led by economist Jeffrey Sachs to provide educational, agricultural, and medical aid to help villages in Africa enduring poverty. The New York Times termed this endeavor a "departure" for Soros whose philanthropic focus had been on fostering democracy and good government, but Soros noted that most poverty resulted from bad governance.
en.wikipedia.org
have you cunts ever heard of the Koala that walked into someones lounge and chilled in the couch?
It was on the news the other week.
This was the actual image on the article.
How did they evolve to be so fearless?
Not everything has to be serious user.
If you feed it after midnight it turns into a drop bear and then you faggots won't think it's so cute
wombats are awesome. They were bats who evolved into bears.
They evolved aroundAbos
How weak do you have to be to get fucked up by a wombat?
Like lmao you have hands and legs, kick and punch the thing, grab it and remove it from you.
How the fuck do you actually get knocked down by it? Is this bitch a 4'11" anorexic?
Drop Bears are too serious, user.
Wombat stew and possum magic good books
Aren't koalas dumb as fuck?
Like, they're 90% instinct? They can't cope with new situations or anything. If a koala comes back to a tree that has been cut down, they will often just sit at the site for hours, not being able to comprehend whats happened.
They just don't give a fuck about anything.
Like He's just sitting on the couch because why the fuck not. He's looking at the house owner like, "Well? What the fuck are you gonna do about it?"
How common are animals like kangaroos or wombats or koalas near cities? Do you have to go that far into the bush to see them? What kind of animals do you have in cities?
I assume this was taken in a suburb though
Wombats weigh 20-35kg and can hit speeds of 40km/h
Wombats crush intruders into their burrows to death with their asses.
fuck me, what a premise for a show
>ivan vs wild
Not joking, I've been bunted by a wombat at a national park and the fucking things hit like a truck. If the chick was old it'd easily knock her on her ass. They're absolute units.
>no more
Fatso's Revenge
>tfw I'm probably the only person old enough here to remember where Fatso's from...
I want to get in a ring with a wombat now.
I date you to ass crush me.
A Country Practice, motherfucker.
In some suburbs (not in the cities or main town areas) you will get a gang of kangaroos jumping in your street, on your front lawn and sometimes your backyard
you lads ever hear the story of the new zealand tourist who called to cops up to tell them she was raped by a wombat?
then why is australia full of pussies?
Remember when Molly (?) died?
Gutted m8.
Do they BTFO snek?
They're kinda like little black bears
Why is Thailand full of chicks with dicks?
The cities are filled with these violent bastards.
Realistically looking at that piece of shit creature.
While it's biting coudn't you simply poked it's eyes out with your fingers then smash that nose with a rock that nose looks awfuly sensitive
I had a friend at school whose uncle played Sargent Frank. He never stopped boasting about it.
Wombats are tough little buggers but to be fair to US Bros, racoons or possums would wreck them imo.
No. Please explain.
> Tough guy American
From personal experience:
> first to bitch out when sees a snake and squeal like a bitch when hiking
> Thinks patting a Eastern Grey Roo is cute till you get kicked in the face
>Thinks a Red Kanga is just as friendly (had to be taken to hospital in case of broken ribs)
> Bitches out seeing a stingray the size of a small hatchback.
> Bitches out when seeing a bullray while diving
> Thinks a PJ shark is a baby tiger shark (wtf)
> gets startled by kookaburras.
and now
> U gotta be weak as fuck to be wrecked by a wombat lmao.
I will pay money to watch this tqhwyfam
>How did they evolve to be so fearless?
The wildlife doesn't respect us after the Emu war
Fuck. Forgot image.
FOUND IT
nzherald.co.nz
>A 48-year-old orchard worker has been sentenced to 75 hours community work after calling police to complain he was being raped by a wombat.
>Arthur Ross Cradock, of Motueka, called police on February 11 and informed them the rape was taking place at his house and he required assistance, The Nelson Mail reported.
>He later called back asking to retract the claim.
>"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know," he told the operator.
>Cradock pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose.
>Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.
>yea it's a cooler
Confusing thing here is that "cooler" is also slang for the flavoured sugar shit girls drink instead of beer.
Wikipedia tells me that Aussies call them Ready-To-Drinks and for Bongs its Alcopop... true?
Word is spreading in the animal kingdom
The correct term for those drinks is "slut fuel".
Just a bit of banter, lad.
We call them alco-pops m8.
>If a koala comes back to a tree that has been cut down, they will often just sit at the site for hours, not being able to comprehend whats happened.
Yeah mate, they're like that.
We have to temporarily relocate a few when bush fires destroy their homes.
Territorial disputes get pretty nasty too.
youtube.com
Sup lads how are you all tonight?
Got an accident, tow trucks on site, traffic is jammed
?