>be american highschool student
>wake up in the morning
>eat hotpockets for breakfast
>get my shoes out of the fridge
>get my government issued student self defense gun
>dog bless freedom
>step into the school bus
>give bus driver a tip
>bus driver stops at school
>whole bus claps
>accidentally assume bus driver's gender
>have to pay 500.000$ fine plus tip
>go into school building
>first lesson: Religion
>learn that god created the earth 6000 years ago
>bell rings
>suddenly the skinny white kid that gets bullied all the time pulls a fully automatic assault rifle out of his duffel bag
>begins shooting all the popular kids
>teacher gets his government issued grenade launcher from under the desk
>accidentally shoots at a wall
>school is made out of wood
>whole building collapses
>wake up in hospital
>insurance won't pay for school shootings
>go bankrupt from hospital bills
>get shot
Be american highschool student
Gave me a hearty chuckle.
>mfw it actually seems plausible
upvoted
>be american
>get shot
>get my government issued student self defense gun
>implying they wouldn't make you pay for it yourself as is your patriotic(TM) duty
>funeral gets shot up by black people
Amazing post.
How much does this fine piece of real estate cost in murrica?
...
>get my shoes out of the fridge
Gets me everytime.
You think the government would give guns away for free? That's socialism.
Is that LA? Probably $2000/month
everyday for 4 years
best of my life
It's actually quite plausible.
Beautiful post
Will support again
Breddy good
Hahahaha
>>bus driver stops at school
>>whole bus claps
>the skinny white kid
The only white kid senpai.
>skinny white kid
Stopped reading there. Banter needs to be based in reality to be funny.
>get my shoes out of the fridge
??!?
do we actually do this?
> get shot
Stopped reading right there
> gay skinny white kid
What's wrong Alexey?
He was making a fat joke
...
>Five year old brings in a toy gun to school
>middle aged teacher freaks out and forces a 12 gauge shotgun right onto the child's temple demanding he put the gun down
>Kid starts crying for his mother, shits himself in fear.
>the crying and the sound of sharting vibrating on the chair causes an already frightened, paranoid teacher to pull the trigger, blowing the child's mushy brains against the wall.
>The class is panicking telling the teacher that the child's gun was in fact a plastic toy
>The teacher is absolutely hysterical, realizing she just killed an innocent boy and is going to pay the price for it.
>With tears in her eyes and shame on her face, she murders the class one by one, shouting each time "ANOTHER ONE! ANOTHER ONE HAS A GUN!" when a child yells, hoping the NSA surveillance can be used to excuse her crimes
>It's another day in this land. Another day of freedom and liberty for all. God bless us all.
I hate this country, give me refugee status pls
...
i'm under impression Muhamad how good you know english.
This is actually dark
It's patriotic
>gets pulled over by cop
>reach for wallet
>cop think its a gun
>cop immediately pulls out gun and fires 10 warning shots in his head
Of course it's dark - it's american.
...
>be the President of the United States of America
>