Dafuq is this

What happens here?
Why does it even exist?
How did it manage to not get eatean by the great powers surrounding it?

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youtube.com/watch?v=c-WO73Dh7rY
youtube.com/watch?v=mCkfvJkXE4o
youtu.be/NuTMK_5un9U
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Tell me Sup Forums, my poor mind can't understand this Europoor mess.

>Chilean education

>not understanding that European borders came from hundreds of years of political maneuvering and infighting
Not all of us got conquered by 10 spainiards and 4 horses Pablo.

I think its cool that states of the holy roman empire still exist

The same way Lichtenstein, San Marino, Vatican, Monaco and Andorra exist

History education is something like this:

>Prehistoric tribes
>Rome and Greece becomes cool
>Medieval times
>Rise of state nations
>Jump to global empires. Only the important ones (Britiain, Germany, France, Japan beating Russian ass)
>WW2 and Cold war
>Then, entire boring semester about native tribes in america, and them getting cucked by Spain. Followed by cool independence and wars against Bolivia, and then Chilean politicians fucking up for almost a hundred years.

So, you are right. I only know from Europe becouse I like to learn on my own.

Their presence in the past was significant enough for no one nation to be able to own the land except Luxembourg.

Because Eurocucks are too afraid to start offensive wars?

>cool independence
>Chilean politicians fucking up
lel

native luxembourger here, (currently stealing a job from hans in germany)

>What happens here?
Nothing much but yet a lot.societal life is pretty boring boring but economically-wise it's an interesting place
>Why does it even exist?
it's the remnants of an old germanic duchy, first mentioned in 963 AD. Luxembourg has already been around when when you inbreed latinniggers were nothing but cougar raping, man-sacrificing indiomongrels

>How did it manage to not get eatean by the great powers surrounding it?
It was. from the 15th century until the 19th luxembourg belonged to some other european power. the congress of vienna and later the luxembourg crisis changed that and we became independent again

also AMA

pic fucking related
it's our grand duke Henri

It's 3rd best tax haven for the rich.
therichest.com/expensive-lifestyle/location/the-10-biggest-tax-havens-in-the-world/

>the congress of vienna and later the luxembourg crisis changed that and we became independent again
Vienna was a mistake.

I think you can't laugh at the politican fuck up. We have both lived through that bro.

I get the Vatican. They are too symbolic to be dominated. Monaco, Andorra and San Marino are in rather peaceful places. They are influenced by the big country next to them and it's ok.
But Luxemburg is in the middle of Germany and France. It's a place with too many wars for clay to account. How did it manage to not get anexed by one, just so the other would not have it?

Is there a luxembourgian culture or something of the sort?

How do you deal with all the immigrants?

>Vienna was a mistake.
dude... ithat's exactly how you trigger luxemburgers.

a cunt of a french asshole province politicain a couple of years ago said that luxembourg was a result of a mistake.
that day is still remembered as our triggering. you can't imagine the amounts of butthurt your statement causes.

we are very very tense when it comes to our independence

Since it was germanic, you speak mainly german right? is french a big languaje there too?

Also, how did you manage to gain independence? Getting off such a huge empire during their prime (18th century) seems like a huge feat.

Taking about independence, how do you defend it? Is there a sizable army? or atleast some geographical features that make guerrilla a good choice?

It had a big fortress in a great location that nobody wanted the others to have.

>Is there a luxembourgian culture or something of the sort?
sure. there is literature and music in luxembourgish, most of it is patriotic stuff and a lot about booze.
also there are regional customs and traditions, often similar to german or french ones but also some quite original ones

>How do you deal with all the immigrants?
luixembourg has a staggering 45% foreigners
a lot of them are portuguese. they came here in the 20th century to build up our steel and mining industry.
so yeah. there is a shitload of foreigners in my home country, almost half.of it.
it has huge implications and we actually have to deal with the possibility of native luxembourgers becoming a minority not in the distant dystopian future, but in the next couple of years...

They need tax heavens

I wouldn't have a problem with these small countries if they stayed out of European football competitions.
Stop destroying football!

I read somewhere the Portuguese were something like 20-30% of the population in Luxembourg now.

But for some strange reason people don't seem to emmigrate there anymore. They prefer the UK, France or Germany (maybe it's our berber genes acting up).

Are the native luxembourgians hostile to immigrants? And what's their opinion from the Portuguese living there?

>Since it was germanic, you speak mainly german right? is french a big languaje there too?
we speak luxembourgish. it's another hot button topic for us.
linguistically it's a german dialect. but we call it a proper language nevertheless and it pisses the living hell out of us if someone calls it a mere dialect. it has a lot to do with our national pride. we've been the playball of european powers for centuries when all we wanted to do was farm (yes we were mainly peasants and had no interest in the dandy world of world politics like those fags in paris and berlin. so we use it to identify as neither french nor german.
but scienitifically speaking it is a german dialect

>how did you manage to gain independence
luxembourg used to be bigger than it is now we lost some to france, belgium and germany.
we used to be a typical germanic duchy like hundreds of the sort existed in the times of charlemagne and it used to stay like that until burgund annexed it in the 15th century. then french influences spread and slowly but steadily we grew more apart from "mainstream germanic culture" a lot of luxembourgish words are influenced by french.
after burgund got us we traded owners a lot of times, be it austrian, french or dutch
luxembourg was important because the fortress was very well defendable and was in a good strategic position between france and germany. so we were sort of a playball for european powers and we didnt like that, we werent interested in big world politics, so this alienated us even more from the now forming germany and at vienna we gained independence, meaning we were taken out of any germnan ties (we held some voluntarily though) but our head of state was still the king of the netherlands. but de facto lux. was independent meaning dutch laws did not apply to lux.
then th eluxembourg crisis happened,

Damn. You sound based as shit.
I always saw luxemburg as a dot in the map, but hearing more about it makes it a really interesting country.

if anything is destroying football it's £££

This.
The big teams are the ones with the money to have good players. The teams with money are the big ones with good players to atract public.
Repeat ad nauseum.

>Are the native luxembourgians hostile to immigrants?
yes. but not extreme. one big issue for us is foreigners not leraning luxembourgish. it's fucked up if i can't order my food because the immigrant waiter only speaks french and since we all learn french in school, he feels like he does not have to learn the native language of the country he works in.

>And what's their opinion from the Portuguese living there?
i personally love you people. you are fun to party with and your food is delicious.
and you have finally integrated. it took you a while but you did it. i remeber twenty years ago when i was a kid there used to be streets and quarters where only portuguese people lived and there was some kind of paralell society but that is disappearing more and more. the kids and the young portuguese have completely mixed with the local population and most are pretty luxembourgish yet still keep that mediterrenean joy. it worked out. as it did with the italians.
with the italians you only have the last names that remind you that therew were once foreigners in their lines. some of our most prolific right wing people have italian surnames and are luxembourgish as hell

but it only worked because you are european people and we have a lot of common culture. now dont get me started on the mudslimes

I've been there.

>expensive cars
>a lot of Portuguese people
>more expensive cars

>I always saw luxemburg as a dot in the map, but hearing more about it makes it a really interesting country.
it is, esepcially the ethnogenesis of the luxembourgish people. the contemporary opinion of our history scholars even go so far as to say that the luxembourgers really only became a real people of its own during WWII. Actually reading up on our history could be very interesting for Sup Forumsacks because it's a lot about national identity and independence and shit

What are the most noticeable differences between Luxembourgish and German?

>What are the most noticeable differences between Luxembourgish and German?
we were on different sides int the world wars

pic related. luxembourgers executed by the nazis

Sure, that's also a problem. But these shitty small countries shouldn't be allowed to play in european competions.
They lose all the time, it's just a waste of everybodys time. Respect to Monaco for having the decency to stay out.

>They lose all the time,
tell me achmed, how many world cups have you won again?

Breng dech em du dreckgt Steck Scheiß. Houren Djungel Nigger.

Hues de vielleicht d'Plaktat mat
>Luxemburger Du Bist Deutsch
>Deine Muttersprache Ist Deutsch

youtube.com/watch?v=c-WO73Dh7rY

Second place in 1958
Third place in 1950 and 1994

deet mir wierklech leed mäin brudder am amerikaneschen exil, dat bild hun ech leider net
wou setzt du dann an de vereenegten staaten?
is asked you how many you have WON.

Schued. Muss ech wirklech meng aal Schoulbiicher ausgruefen an et mol a scannen.
Zu Judde York bis oktober, stage bei da UNDP.

Is it like dutch where you can understand the words when reading as a german but you don't understand shit when they talk?

My fucking sides

It's just a tax heaven for the european elite.

>Zu Judde York
aha, gees de hier kromm tricker léieren fir dann um kierchbierg uerdentlech scheckelen anzesäcklen?

yes, that's quite like it. it's the same for me with dutch but since i live in germany and people want me to speak luxembourgish all the time i experienced that you understand it quite easily when we talk slow. i dont have that with dutch, but yeah, your analogy is quite right

if fucking love that clip
the whole show where it's from is pretty darn funny as well

thread theme:
youtube.com/watch?v=mCkfvJkXE4o

>Schekel asaeckeln
Daht oder vielleicht mol mathelefen eng gudd riets populistesch Partei ze grennen.

i fucking love you

this

>eng gudd riets populistesch Partei ze grennen.
Firwat keng richtech riets partei grennen?
populismus kennen mer den idioten vum adr iwwerlossen. an fänk me rnet mat der csv un...

the feeling is mutual my dear burger. thanks for liberating us in 1944. much appreciated

Dying, holy shit.

I am travelling to Luxembourg next month.

I can speak a little French but do most people understand English also?

What are useful Luxembourgish phrases to drop to get locals to like me?

Luxemburg is strange to you because they're between Germany and France but freaking Andorra between Spain and France is peaceful... how? We had our share of wars for clay for centuries too.

HITLARY DIDN'T PUT ENOUGH EFFORT INTO IT
BUT SOON SHE WILL
HAIL HILLARY

>france bringing the bantz

>I can speak a little French but do most people understand English also?
yeah you'll be fine. not everyone is fluent in english but you'll get by. especially with young people and boomers, beware of french people, they cant speak english for shits...

Some useful luxembourgish phrases:
>véier béier séier
4 beers quickly
>moien
hello
>äddi
bye
>merci
thank you
>feck dech
fuck you
>du bass schéin
you are beautiful
>wou ass die nächst versammlung vun de lëtzebuerger patrioten?
where is the next meeting of the luxembourgish patriots?
>eeemol bouneschlupp, wannechgelifft
one bouneschlupp (national dish, bean stew with lard), please
>meng jicken kratzen wéi verreckt
i really like your country

>CSV
KEKs um cube
>ADR
Mam Jemp deen am eegene Bistro u Liewerzerose krepeiert ass. KEKs

A mat richteche rietse Parteien am Senn vun den östeuropäeschen as kee Blummendeppen ze gewann a Westeuropa. Außerdeem as et opgronn vu Johrhonnerte langer varmeschung am genetesche wei sozio-kulturellem Senn schweier ee Narrativ ze schaafen wou sou eng Partei op fruchtbare Bueden trefft zu Luxusbuerg. Net ze vargiesen dass international wei europesch quasi keng Investoren existeieren fir sou ee firhaaben.
Eng riets populistesch Partei op da anerer Seit kann op ee waste Netzwierk a ganz europa, an hoffentlech or an den USA zougreifen, an ass ausserdeem opgrond vun da politescher Logik vum populismus fäheg sech entwecklungen am Narrativ unzepassen.

Awer bon, si ma mol net secher op et mam recht vun eisem gecuckte a varwinnte Vollek meiglech as sou eppes or nemmen usatzweis ze realiseieren

>>meng jicken kratzen wéi verreckt
>i really like your country
hmmmm

No, it's because euroelites benefit from their existence.

>Eng riets populistesch Partei op da anerer Seit kann op ee waste Netzwierk a ganz europa,
mee mol ganz am eescht, ech si wierklech kee fan vun all deenen marinen an nigelen an frauken. dza si plomp an populismus huet keng substanz. wann eis bellessen net esou fuerchtbar an der flüchtlingskris versot hätten, hätten se niemols deen afloss deen se elo hun. dofier si fir mech all d'parteien an der chamber net mei ze wielen.
mee vielleicht ass et elo meiglech duerch de neien klima an europa deen elo herrscht well mer nemmen fucking cucks do setzen hun, vielleicht ass elo d zäit räif fir eng seriö beweegung fir eng neiuerdnung vun europa. eppes mat substanz wat eis institutionel problemer am fong ugeet an net nemmen domm op der pless poteren an den huelen rietsen gin

It's legit bro

>a german having problems with praising a country
colour me not surprised at all

Du messvarstees de Senn vu staarke populistesche Parteien. Et geet net drem an d'Regierung ze kommen oder d'Delpesen an da chamber um Krautmaart opzehänken. D'idee hannert sou enger aart vu Beweegung as net wei bei den Ieselen vun da Lenker Seit eng Revolutioun ze starten, me deen übleche Vardechtegen sou angscht ze maachen, dass se gezwonge sinn hier politik ze varenneren.

Ee gudd Beispill as aisterreich mat da FPOE, wou d 'Regierung zwar nach net wei Ungarn handelt, awer durch dei massiv oppositioun vu ronn 40% an den emfroen politesche gezwonge gouf d'Haltung ze enneren.

dat kann awer ganz kriddelech gin wanns de affer vun dengem eegenen erfolleg gess an den klengen hary dech tatsächlech an d regierung wielt

ech verstinn schon die zort vun katalysator dei d'populisten soillen mee dséi si mer einfach ze plomp. an ech fillen mech net richteg wuel engem dommen spruddler an tuddler meng stemm ze gin well ech dem jeanclaude, dem xavier an dem etienne hier goschen net mei ka gesin

I went to school in America. This is what our history courses look like.

>muh indians dindu nuffin
>pilgrims come along
>founding of our nation
>revolution, fuck the brits
>war of 1812, fuck the brits vol 2
>muh slavery muh states rights
>civil war
>great depression and womens rights
>last week of school
>america single handedly won ww2
>school ends, never get past ww2

We never learned anything about European history, about ancient history, never learned about Roman and Greek empires, never about prehistoric history, etc. It focused only on America. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

>This is what our history courses look like.
burgers need this to keep the narrative alive
you basically stopped being the cool guys after WWII. luckily for the usa, russia was even uncooler

>checked
This French is allowed to wear tricolore instead of the other flag

How are history classes in Europe? What focus do they have?
Ofcouse most countries teach a more local focused history. We never saw anything about Asia aside from "China and India were cool and old".
Is it Eurocentric, or does it have a broad view?

>What happens here?
>Why does it even exist?

Its a financial playground for rich people.

>How did it manage to not get eatean by the great powers surrounding it?

Oh they get occupied during wars but so far noone who has tried to annex them has ended up winning.

of course it's eurocentric. it's teaching history from the european point of view. that's perfectly fine. but not in colonial way (anymore)

history in luxembourgish highschool went from ancient egypt to the second intifada in the 2000s and everything in between, greeks, romans, celts, early christian europe, middle ages, crusades, islamisation, renaissance, colonial times, french revolution, foundation of the united states, napoleon, decades leading up to wwI, wwII, cold war (including korea nad vietnam), israel/palestine conflict

but this depends on the kind of classes you take. i'm a history buff and had history up until my graduation so i had a very extended course

Dunno. I went to school in Freedomistan. I hear they focus a lot more on Medieval times which America spends no time on. I know in Germany they spent a LOT of time covering WW2 and how evil the Nazis are. Visiting a concentration camp is also required.

Do you speak your nigger german? Did you vote for Juncker as your prime minister? What's your country's benefit for sacrifizing the white race?

>Do you speak your nigger german?
at least it's nothing the native tongue of inbreed goat fucking mountain people

>Did you vote for Juncker as your prime minister?
never.
>What's your country's benefit for sacrifizing the white race?
what's yours? are you still mad that habsburg lost this fine piece of clay?

>eurocucks too scared to start offensive wars
American education

What do you think of all the Lorrains/Mosellans working in Luxembourg?

I think you meant GERMAN duchy

They don't defend it, they are surrounded by friendlies (EU has mutual defence pact). I think if the world still functions 150 years from now they will be part of Germany again.

>What happens here?
Low taxes for shell companies to keep the rich people rich.

>Why does it even exist?
What is the Frist Treaty of London, what is the Congress of Vienna, what is the Second Treaty of London.

>How did it manage to not get eatean by the great powers surrounding it?
See above, in short: it was never really French nor German, so it wasn't incorporated into Germany in 1870 and it managed to stay separate as a result of horsetrading between Prussia and the Netherlands in 1815 in the Vienna Congress.

bad drivers, arrogant, refuse to learn luxembourgish, sell booze and gas to me
generalizations aside, some of them are alright, some aren't

luxembourgish military is a huge joke. we'd never stand a chance against any army. we dont even have tanks for christ sake. but we're covered. if germany goes into reich again, america is there, if the russians come, they first have to go through germany and then again, america will be there. if america comes we're fucked.

there used to be a draft, in the 60s they actually did a study to find out how many soldiers were needed to keep the front for a couple of weeks in case of a sovjet attack, it was a couple of ten thousand trrops, with a population of not even half a million at that time we just said: well we're fucked anyway, better spend the money on something nice and shiny

I understand that you hate Swiss they are really fucking inbred. Question 3 was asked as follow up for question 2. So why does Junckers want to kill the white race? Is this some Luxemburgish self-worth issue nobody is aware about because you've become an irrelevant country? Is he a non-country puppet? We were gracious. It's not unusal that niggers behave like little brats. Go on have some fun.

How would your trops withstand nukes? We had similar plans, but everybody knows that we would get nuked to hell within the first day.

Nice work Pierre

drove through it when i traveled through europe. i swear they only have one main street there, and the rest is deserted.

>So why does Junckers want to kill the white race? Is this some Luxemburgish self-worth issue
he's a gloablist puppet, the EU does not care about nationality. also a raging alcoholic

and now please tell me the relevance of austria, please. you lot fall down quite a bit now didn't you?

>How would your trops withstand nukes?
they wouldn't. simple as that. that's why we only keep around 800 soldiers to somehow fullfill our nato quota to access americain protection. all the nato awacs are registered in luxembourg and we control some intelligence satelittes

its a major tax haven for Europe and Juncker pretty much broke the law of the state to make it as such.

Kurfursten were the prince-electors of the emperor, so some fly-speck dutchies continue to exist if they actually had a voice & vote in the emipre

>Juncker pretty much broke the law of the state to make it as such.
no he didn't. i dont like him but he did not do that

Austria is a death cult country. That our empire was about to collapse is a self-fullfilling prophecy, and we Austrians are the living example that everything will end. Ironically, we really understand to live a convenient life, generally speaking.


This is what I was talking about. USA would have sacrificed Europe to take the first nukes while they had started their attack on Russia.

>USA would have sacrificed Europe to take the first nukes while they had started their attack on Russi
wouldn't matter really. though, even from an american point of view. they would have been next and in the end, russia, europe and the usa would have been piles of rubble. who goes first doesn't really matter

Why do we even help you fags in Europe?
We should just annex Western Europe.
At least then we'd get a few more tax dollars.

>Why do we even help you fags in Europe?
you need us to export products into the united states so that we can get dollars which we need to buy oil, since you fucktards only allow oil to be traded in dollars. you force us to use your money to buy the oil that runs our economies. we are dependent from you. if you dont trade with us we dont get dollars to buy oil. but if we switch sides and join russia or china and they allow oil to be sold in rubels or yuan than your position of power will be seriously diminished hence why you do everything to protect europe from evil russia and china and also hence why you spread freedom and democracy everywhere so that more countries are "free" and need to buiy oil in dollars and therefore have to sell goods to the united states. since you are in the position o fpower you can dictate the prices and so you get a lot of stuff for cheap allowing you to live your decadent and wasteful lifestyle

Why annex and stir trouble when they already do everything you say?
And them being weak only makes your position better, as they are entirely dependant.

Just having a laugh, mate.
Still, it'd be nice if we didn't pay so much for our military.

Why are you saying mate you live in America you clown

I've picked it up after hanging around all the Brits and Aussies here.

youtu.be/NuTMK_5un9U

Please kill yourself

I don't think you understood the song...

What a fucking Wiltz.

Fuck off Colgate

>You don't understand it
How do you know?
But really, the music sounds so cringey, gypsy Polka is like Brahms compared with this.