Nothing Fucking Happens: The Show

Nothing Fucking Happens: The Show
How the fuck did eight episodes of absolutely nothing get approved? There are no major events. No interesting fight scenes. No interesting interactions.
This was the single most underwhelming season of tv to ever be released. I'm actually kind of amazed at how utterly boring this entire show was.

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I have only watched three episodes of this boring shit. Is the drunk jewish girls show any good, she was the most entertaining parts. I have only watched Dare Devil and made it only halfway through Ironfist

imo daredevil was good, Jessica Jones was okay (second half of the season was better than the first), and the other two were garbage

I'm fastfowarding every scene Daredevil is not in.

Am I doing it right?

Honestly yes. Nothing fucking matters anyway. This is straight up the weirdest show I've ever seen. All the character motivations are garbage and the entire plot is absolutely laughable.
I'll be honest, I'm the type of person to forgive shit tv and movies. I'm able to watch and enjoy shit like civil war and Spiderman homecoming but this has genuinely made me angry.

Binged the whole 8 episodes and I loved it, i wish they would have done 8 more episodes.

For you all you "cut to the chase" persons the action intensifies from ep4 and onward.

Personally i like som character and plot development / buildup so i get the motivations and a feel of each, i also really liked the Elektra / Matt thing.

Same as me.

No Punisher in this, right?

That's a hard pass.

They fucked up with casting Daredevil. Daredevil should be a big guy. He's supposed to use fear as a weapon is he not? How is a 5 foot 7 guy ever scary?

>that annoying editing
>that lazy writing
>that shitty acting
>that shitty choreography
>that forgetful score
>those crappy antagonists
>those countless scenes of meaningless filler
>that rap music in the climatic fight
Isn't this supposed to be the Avengers of the Netflix shows? Why did the production look worse than DD season 1?

>those fucking dutch angles
Jesus.

Jessica Jones is okay. It strays between quite good and quite bad, but there's more good than bad.
It's worth a watch for David Tennant's fun performance.

And I agree, Jessica was the best thing in the Defenders, even though I didn't care much for her in her own show.

How do you defend the fact that nothing happens? The Hand's entire goal is to get some dragon bones that happen to be under the city, but there's a door that's somehow stronger than all the earth they already excavated stopping them at the last step? So instead of just mining around it, this centuries old organisation tears itself apart and gets murdered by four of the most hilariously underwhelming heroes ever conceived of in a weird effort to kidnap the Iron Fist who hasn't said anything original or interesting since episode one of Iron Fist.
The fight scenes are just so garbage, it's ridiculous. How do you go from the Daredevil hallway scene to whatever the fuck happened in this show?

who's the antagonist in this?

The Hand. Their goal is to get dragon bones under New York. This is bad because reasons.

this guy summed up pretty well why it's bad

What exactly did it mean to be the Black Sky?
Was she really just a ninja?

How is that "an unstoppable weapon" in a world where Thor and the Hulk exist?

She was definitely super strong and super durable. Able to knock out LC and take hits from him and JJ.

Who the fuck knows. All she ever demonstrated was an ability to be a bit better at fighting than anyone else. Hardly an unstoppable weapon.

I tried watching it.

There were like ten hallway fights in the first episode and then 30 or so dark abandoned warehouse fights in the next one, all of them against random whoever nobodies for no reason with no stakes whatsoever.

Obviously I'm joking but I doubt I'm that far off.

AY HAND TELL YOU SUMP *BLAM* *BOOM* *FRANKA FRANKA FRANKA*

roll credits

>ridiculous pacing with sloppy editing and transitions
>convoluted story that lazily tries to tie everything together
>"Black Sky" isn't even fucking needed when you realize the other Hand members like that Jamaican dude can easily take on Luke Cage 1 on 1
>only one memorable fight scene when they all first meet
>only worthy performance in the entire season is based Charlie Cox and no one else
>3 episodes in and a white privilege discussion is had
>main villain is severely underwhelming and is killed off a la Cottenmouth style 2 episodes before the finale
>retarded rap music in fight scenes even when other people besides Luke Cage is fighting bad guys
>forced Electra bullshit
>baiting people with Daredevil's death only to have him alive 10 minutes later in the same fucking fashion as Star Trek ID
Yeah, it fucking sucked.

This guy fucking gets it
Pretty much everything wrong with the show. How do they go from season 1 of DD to this shit?

>expecting quality from capeshit

I didn't expect quality. I expected content, and I didn't get it.

Of course there would be no interesting fight scenes, since every scene would be just Jessica Jones getting BLACKED by Luke Cage and the two cucks would watch.

>expecting quality from capeshit
I do when Daredevil season 1 and Jessica Jones exist.

>and Jessica Jones

The villain was better than 90% of the films villains; and it was mind rape kino

>keeno

You're right, ignore the dickhead antagonizing you. You know where to draw the line between good tv and fucking shit

Nah this guy is right, I'm retarded.

It's the formula these days. Make a season or two of good (or kinda good) stuff and then milk it for at least 5 more seasons worth of complete horse shit. It used to be 3 or 4.

I only watched the first episode and it was fairly dull, but not as dull as Iron Fist or latter Luke. I actually kind of liked Luke Cage series up to a point, but it was way too long. 6 episodes would have been perfect. Same for Iron Fist, though I could not finish that one.

Why did Daredevil stick behind to try to "save" Elektra when he knew the place was about to blow up anyway? Either way she's going to fucking die, you literally can't save her at this point you idiot

He wanted to die as well because muh love

also
>pretending that both Gao and Elektra won't be back
lmao

>He wanted to die as well because muh love
His relationship with her completely ruins and disconnects his character entirely. Worst fucking part of Season 2.

Why would anyone love Elektra when they have Karen who's superior in every way?

Daredevil and the other three characters nobody really cares about - the show

Because Karen is a fucking spaz who gets people killed because she can't learn to let anything go.

Gao was pretty based when she was mysterious and acting behind the scenes. They really ruined her when they put her in a straightforward fistfight.

For you lollololololololololll1909

Honestly I thought she was weak as fuck in Ironfist as well. The entire Hand was pretty lack luster in Defenders but im glad that we've hopefully moved on from it and can get some new stuff

>Implying the next season won't be about the foot

but muh white privilige speech

I keep asking but nobody has an answer.
Does Disney pulling its normieflix contract mean these shows are going to be cancelled effectively?

TMNT cross-over? Sounds like a great thing to me

I fucking knew this would cause a shit storm but the entire point of that was that both Danny and Luke were wrong about each other. It was the classic two heroes meet and judge each other all wrong and then later overcome that and become bros trope

>Gets hit with a giant pipe and the child-stuntman in a gao costume gets thrown across the room
Worth it just for that.

We don't know. Why are you asking us?

I didn't mind the slow pacing. I just thought it was weird that there weren't at least a thousand ninja in the last episode. I mean the headquarters of a global crime syndicate is defended solely by its secretive leaders. Weird.

I'm a sucker for team ups. I give it a 8.5/10

>jewish girl
You would think so by looking at her wouldn't you? She's not though. Full Aryan. Marvel does it again.

dude there were no fucking good villans, jusgt a bunch of lackey-type main badguys. where are the fucking superpowers and shit

>forgot image

I really wish they would have kept pops and cottonmouth around for a few more episodes. I really liked when it was just black superman trying to clean up the streets from low level thugs. The whole arc with his brother was pretty weak.

>Matt doesn't end up with Karen even though it's heavily implied in both of his seasons
>Luke doesn't end up with Jessica but instead ends up with the night nurse at the end of his solo series for fuck all reason
I'm still pissed. Only good relationship that even remotely makes sense is Dan and that chink.

I got pretty fed up of everyone other than Matt and Jessica pretty fast.

If they take inspiration from Born Again in season 3 you'll see what Karens really like

>beady-eyed anglo
>aryan

pick one

It's painfully obvious they spent all the budget on the first 4(?) episodes. Everything after the chinese resteraunt starts to look super cheap and rushed production wise.

speaking of JJ and Luke did anyone else find it weird how they never mentioned the fact that Jessica fucking killed his wife? Like not even Luke explaining that hes accepted it wasn't her fault? There was that one throw away line about Jessuica saying she was sorry she slept with him without telling him first but that was it

i wanna do this. can you tell me which episodes focus on matt?

The best thing about the show is Sigourney's wardrobe. and unironically Jessica

Every time Luke or Danny appeared (or their companion actors) I opened tumblr porn on my phone.

Spot on

Elektra is the only thing that saves this piece of shit show. Every time she opened her mouth I wish I could just shoot my semen into it, if you know what I mean.

>what is aryan

They tried to make Avengers: The Show. But the fact of the matter is, a superhero team up works better in the movie format than it does with series like these. Single season stories for Marvel heroes they didn't want included in the Infinity War, would have worked just as fine instead of trying to world build within the show fully knowing they're not gonna appear in the movies.

She really is fucking hot.

>Like not even Luke explaining that hes accepted it wasn't her fault
There wasn't a scene near the end of JJ with this event being played out? What the fuck were they thinking?

>"DUDE LETS JUST BLOW UP A BUILDING IN ONE OF THE MOST DENSELY POPULATED AREAS IN THE WORLD LMAO"
>"what could go wrong right?"
>"just put the some bombs there and turn on the switch, it's not like there is a science for this kind of stuff right?"

Pretty much every episode focused on each character. His courtroom scene in episode 1 was his best performance throughout the entire season, aside from the moments where he legit looks and plays the part of a blind man.

Felt like they were just trying to clean up the messes that were IF and DD2.5. Both had a ton of unexplained shit that annoyed me to hell because I thought they just forgot (like the huge-ass hole and the Hand's meme factions).

Not that the conclusion was anything worth a damn, but at least it was closure of some sort, I guess. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't amazing either.

You can really tell that somewhere along the line for these Marvelflix shows either the behind the scenes talent, time or the money ran out because there's a very sharp contrast on quality (or Care, more appropriately). DD 2.5, LC 1.5, IF and Def feel like they were just rushed through whereas the rest, whilst not necessarily everyone's cup of tea, at least showed some care and good will.

I just hope Netflix has made better individual contracts and budgets for the shows from here on out now that the original deal (4 shows + defenders) has ended.

They did have the plans from the architect.

Reminder to give low rating to the episode with the white privilege sjw bullshit
imdb.com/title/tt4270076/

It's a fine show other than that.

Nah he finds out and then Kilgrave controls him and after Jessica saves him he fucks off

You need to pay more attention user. The architect who designed the building already had a plan to blow it up with detailed schematics on where to place the explosives, which is what they used. Plus there's a giant fucking hole underneath it into which most of the rubble would have fallen.

The funny thing about it is they basically made their on 9/11 conspiracy come true.

I don't know, I think it worked well enough in a longer format. Everything setting up the team-up was well done, after that it loses a lot of focus and no one has anything to do.
Also every time they cut back to the police station its fucking hilarious.

I still can't even will myself to watch the fourth episode of Daredevil S1, so I probably can't into this

>They did have the plans from the architect.
Yeah, and the retard set one counter before the other (she didn't even set the other on screen either), meaning one pillar would be blown before the other and the building could very likely fall to the side. It's not like the architect is a demolition expert either, he could very likely be mad at the time and it would be bad even if executed perfectly according to his plans. If I was going to blown up a building like that I would like to be very certain it could not fall and kill thousands of other people by falling the wrong way.

You're wrong. This scene was the least of the show's problems. Stop acting as though a bad show is only a bad show because of politics you disagree with. Have some fucking substance, jesus

That episode had the best team fight though.

So what? The pillars can very well be redundant, as in, if one is fucked up, the other still holds the building while the first is being repaired. It's only when you knock the second that it all comes down.

Also, you can perfectly well have 2 timers with different times.

What a shitty thing to be autistic about when there are tons of other easier things to pick up.

>"engineering? lol just blow it up who cares about numbers right?"
>"you know just put enough bombs so you can blow it underground through 50 floors of ground into a cave, it'll probably work right?"

From some angles the actress looks hot.
From others she looks like a fucking tranny.

>through 50 floors of ground
did you miss the giant ass hole

All they had to do was use a plane

>There were like ten hallway fights in the first episode

the first episode barely had any action

Honestly I was laughing my ass off the entire time they're trying to convince themselves to blow up the building.
I don't know if it was intentional or not but this shit turns into absolute schlock a few times. Not that I'm complaining, it was great.

Tell me, /k/...

how do you behead a woman with a sai?

>Hey everybody, I'm a well educated black man from the south who happens to be Christian, I'm all for helping people.
>Fuck you white boy and your white privilege; even though I was privileged to be in an experiment that made me unable to be hurt and super strong.

Rank your fingers:

White hat: I'm a sucker for the Tai-Lee pressure-points-limb-deactivation shtick, but he only tried it on Luke who's apparently immune.
Japanese dude: He had charisma, but after so much of hyping him up, he did nothing impressive other than get knocked out over and over.
Gao: Fun lady. Overstaying her welcome a bit, and worked better in the shadows.
Alexandra: Literally heh, the character. I was expecting her to have the beast and grooming Elektra to be the new host until they explained the dragon-bone immortality shtick.
Bakuto: holy fucking shit stop showing up, no-one likes your shitty faction or your shitty dialogue.

Problem is they decided to make 5 shows with exactly the same tone and style. If they confined the skulking around in dark rooms and muttering things like "we're not so different, you and I" to ONE show and actually went in different directions with the others, this could've been fun.

It's not a shitty thing to be autistic about at all. You know, them being heroes, this was the one single thing that could very well turn them into mass murderers because they thought "it's crazy but okay". Blowing buildings is very dangerous and it could go wrong very easily. No one, not a single one of them, even thought about how this could go wrong. I wouldn't trust a word of an architect when it came to it, even less a persecuted paranoid architect who was mad enough to take a hostage.

>even though I was privileged to be in an experiment that made me unable to be hurt and super strong.
Alt-right people are seriously giving the SJWs a run for their money when it comes to be bitchy and retarded.

>giant ass hole
kek

>DUDE WHITE PRIVILEGES N SHIIET
are you fucking kidding me

The hole was below 50 floors of ground. You can tell because they have to take the elevator though all that and the elevator shaft is no bigger than a room, it would not fit a building in there.

I liked the main cast. Damn i love JJ. Fight scenes could be better. Show started okay but ending was boring.
For the villains Elektra was good, Bakuto was okay and the rest are trash.

>Use an the argument about privilege that is out of your control to invalidate a person's accomplishments
>Gets upset when their logic is used against them
Don't use the argument then. The left only exists because they lack education and are incredibly insecure.

From best to worst
Gao: Best one even if im personally a little bored of her now that the mystery is gone but I guess that's the point. She'll be back
Alexandra: Was she in a series before this? Anyways she was okay I guess, the whole legacy thing was weird.
Bakuto: ...wait this guy was seriously one of the leaders?
White Hat: generic as fuck bad guy that did nothing interesting
Japanese dude: I literally kept forgetting who this was. I don't even know what happened to him in the end because I couldn't even give that much of a shit

Eh, I enjoyed it /shrug

>this was the one single thing that could very well turn them into mass murderers
That's why daredevil cocks his head and says "Yup... This building's completely empty... There isn't a single person in here."
That doesn't explain where all the people who keep showing up after that were coming from though.