What's the best way to insult someone whose from Texas? Pic not related

What's the best way to insult someone whose from Texas? Pic not related

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youtube.com/watch?v=QxP442T-aZ0
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youtube.com/watch?v=NA4Q5aNFDQg
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you can't

S L O W L Y

Tell them the state will turn blue thanks to the immigration they can't control, because they put all their state subsidizes into oil companies that cause global warming.

Over the phone and away from their guns. Why don't you come up with your own insults for your Facebook/xbox live arguments faggot.

Texan here, try your best

Former Texan here. Tellling them that Texas has more niggers and spics than white people(true) really pisses them off.

Also tell them that Texas is starting to look like Los Angeles with the backed up freeways and mcmansions and everything in Austin. They love to hate Austin and that's sure to provoke.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

>What's the best way to insult someone whose from Texas? Pic not related
'If Texas is a red state, why does Austin vote liberal?'
'If Texas is a white state, explain Houston?'
'If Texas is white, explain East Dallas?'

If they're anything like me, they'll froth at the mouth at the mere mentioning of Austin.
FUCKING LIBERAL FAGGOTS NEED TO BE TREBUCHET'D BACK TO CALIFORNIA
you are not 'weird' texans
you are calicucks who do not belong

ask them where their cowboy hat, six shooter and bowie knife are at? o.o
idk. i've met a couple people who thought we all were cowboys, before. xD
born in Remember-the-Alamo, myself

actually an anarchist, tho

...

You could also tell them that you're moving to Texas from California so you'll be a Texan now. That's a two-fer for the California hate and that you could be Texan without being born there.

Also mention all the california license plates that you see all over the state.

Show them the demographic data for their state and then wait for them quickly tell you how "bro-tier" beaners are.

Holy dogshit! Texas, only steers and queers come from Texas, private Cowboy! And you don't much look like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down!

Ask them when will Texas admit it's officially Mexican land again.

>Show them the demographic data for their state and then wait for them quickly tell you how "bro-tier" beaners are.
this is very true

Call them on the phone repeatedly and just play this song
youtube.com/watch?v=QxP442T-aZ0

Tell them about how much you love Texas, then add that you've only been to Austin. Do this while drinking a craft beer.

The most effective way to insult anything is to simply call it what it is.

Pic very much related.

>You could also tell them that you're moving to Texas from California so you'll be a Texan now.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STAY OUT OF MY STATE COMMIE SCUM!!!!!

Don't do this.
You will seriously get shot if you do this.

call them gringo pussies
irish red headed gringo pussies

Call Texas "Southern Oklahoma"

Put sauce on barbecue

Don't talk about Texas

Not that hard
Remind them that Texas has never successfully seceded in their entire existence.
The US had to rescue them from the Mexicans
It took 4 months for Dixie to convince them to secede as the 7th state and even when they did they did jack shit the entire campaign and complained more than every other state combined.
The whole WE ARE THE ORIGINAL REBELS! thing is just a meme
If anyone is a rebel it's Florida, we've fought off more nations than any other state, seceded successfully from every country we have ever been a part of, almost wiped out the indians that tried to take back the land they sold us, and most of our laws contradict federal laws
Get fucked Texas

Texas doesn't control the border, the federal government does

"I forgot the Alamo"

Call them a Oklahoman

It could, but it'd just be bluedog democrats. More likely though is that the GOP makes it clear that Trump was a phase and they pump up rhetoric on how Dems are irreligious baby killers, Catholic Latinos will eat that shit up

Nogs and spics are annoying but that's not enough to piss me off. They're also well behaved compared to the ones up north.

The highway systems aren't that bad outside of Austin.

And Austin is amazing, even if it is terminally blue pilled

this is the only correct answer I've see.

>whose
Idk, maybe this?

>Nogs and spics are annoying but that's not enough to piss me off. They're also well behaved compared to the ones up north.

So much this.

This. Sooo much this. I've done it. It works.

Remind them that, roads are narrower, gas stations are all 1 person restrooms, all non-bbq food is shit, trash in all the ditches, Whataburger is better than McDonalds but that is it, south texas is utter shit, and oil is finite.

Nobody from Texas cares about secession. Only people talking about it are calicucks.
All Texans know we're the last bastion of American values. If we secede, America dies.

Just mentioning Austin is enough to piss most Texans off.

>You could also tell them that you're moving to Texas from California so you'll be a Texan now.
Okay now I'm triggered. Fuck you.

Only steers and queers come from Texas.

Say their penis is small.

remind them they're from Texas

I live in DFW.
Just say Austin is the best place in Texas EVER.
Guaranteed to work 100% of the time on non-Austinians or your money back.

Texas Football sucks, bow down to Bob Stoops

Mention gun control, open immigration, and BLM. (Mesquite Tx here, either of those three mentioned make my goddamn blood boil.)

>State doesn't control state borders
Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

>Texas

>reminder that every major city in your state is a one stop shop for all libtard cucks

Arizona > TexAss

isn't Texas like the only relevant place of America?
I mean I don't know but we always read that Texas is responsible of the economy of America, and they have their own army and stuff....
Seems like they could get their independence and they will be fine.

Call them on the phone and blast this

youtube.com/watch?v=QxP442T-aZ0

>All Texans know we're the last bastion of American values
Don't lie, spic.

OR
You can blast this when you call them

youtube.com/watch?v=qILOCvvF-cA

youtube.com/watch?v=NA4Q5aNFDQg

Everything you said is true. It's the last bastion of hope for humanity

t. Texan

That would still be "immigration they can't control". It works whether they're in charge of protecting their own borders or not.

You can't

>this whole fuckin thread.
t. A slightly mad Texan.

Ask the small little Texan how it feels about China buying up large portions of Texan oil fields and then laugh while calling him a ching Chong eggroll motherfucker.

google.com/amp/www.wsj.com/amp/articles/chinese-property-developer-snaps-up-texas-oil-fields-1445773022

I bring up football and the mention that i wasn't aware Texas had any relevant pro or college level football teams.

Shoes from Texas are dumb

who's*
You dumb fuck Texan.

>cans.wav

Tel them that the state is SO brown that if TRUMP wins ,he will build the WALL north of Texas

Texan cities have been BLACKED lately tho...

Native Texan here.

Insult gun rights, republican-politics and BBQ.

Just moved to Austin from LA, rooming with 4 other friends from Cali

We're all voting Hillary in November

I'm was born, raised, and still live in Texas my whole life and I put sauce on my bbq so fuck off.

>putting sauce on BBQ
kys

Houstonian here

Telling us Houston is trash and we will nod in agreement

Saying you like Dallas more and we'll be slightly crossed and then we won't care about you

But saying that you're from San Francisco and that you and your friends are moving to Austin cause it's a nice city than the other... that's the secret recipe to make us Texan extremely butthurt

with poetry on the bathroom wall

Here I sit my butt cheeks flexin' givin' birth to another Texan.

They also do not like New Mexico or any implication that that New Mexico is better. Kinda like the way Tennessee makes fun of Kentucky

>Wanting to only taste charred meat

Shit taste tbqh

Oh fug I'm grew up in Kentucky as well, how do Tennesee hate on us? All I can think is SEC basketball

>charred meat
wew lad are you really from Texas? Good BBQ has a ton of flavor. Using sauce masks the meat's natural flavor.

Shut the fuck up Paco. Texas is the last bastion of freedom like you said, and we'll have to get the fuck out of the faggot ass USA if we want to keep it that way. The only other comparable state to Texas is Florida, and they have more kikes than I'd be comfortable with.

Texan here, near Houston. Nothing a person says over the internet would insult me. Texas is the comfiest state and my true home.

I am a little worried at the huge influx of Mexicans and recently Chinese and Indians. Why is it that any state that employs sound economic policy and has a strong economy must immediately then suffer the influx of more minorities. Fort Bend county is now the most diverse county out of the entire US.

Bbq only has one flavor califag

hitllary for president!

Alaska is bigger than you.

One time I was with a friend out of state and they gave us a variation on that line: only steers and queers in Texas and I don't see any horns on you. Friend had the best comeback: well ya see things got a little rough last night and I broke my horns off fuckin your mom. Then we drank

Fuck you in your stupid gay face, I know you're memeing on me but I still felt rage

/Thread

Texas here. This.

And insult our BBQ with that bullshit they serve elsewhere.

classic

you don't fuck with Texas

yer aim sucks.

Triggered

Nothing triggers a Texan more than Californians

Texan-transplant here; moved here with family in 2000 from Georgia. I live in suburbia about an hour drive North of Austin. Perhaps antidotal; but something I have noticed. All the Californians I've meet are Hard-Red, "Fundie" Christian, Regan Conservatives. All the major, psychotic liberal, SJW "Austin Weirdos" I have meet are from other parts of Texas or from Oklahoma or Louisiana (or neighboring state).

>You could also tell them that you're moving to Texas from California so you'll be a Texan now.

DELETE THIS

because you don't live around them

>t. grew up in beaumont

nigs are nigs everywhere

>reagan conservatives

so bluepilled as fuck

no wonder we elect charlatans like rick perry, george bush, and ted cruz

remind them commiefornia has already moved there

yeah we're gonna be blue eventually, hate to say it

some people think that by living in texas we are immune to political change, yeah, i'm sure conservatives in colorado thought the same thing 20 years ago

what happened to colorado is going to happen to us - more steezers and asians, more california transplants, conservative whites voting in stupid politicians like rato because they say the right things, etc.

Texan here and none of these rustle me.

Tell them that black people will take over entirely. They'll either get legit afraid or show resignation by sighing and going "yeah...".