I got laid today because I told a chick I was "alt right"

I told her I was one of the main people behind it and I never expected the movement to be a success. I told her all about "/Paul/ from Sup Forums" and she nervously looked over my shoulder while I browsed the site and showed her Pepes. She squealed when I scrolled past a swastika and playfully hit my shoulder, calling me bad.

Then I told her about how the media is covering for Hillary. The image talking about all the mysterious deaths surrounding Hillary the past month really made her think. I told her I started Trump Generals too (in reality I just sometimes post awoos).

Basically, thanks for that speech today Hillary, you cunt. I'm gonna slay pussy all across campus now.

Other urls found in this thread:

strawpoll.me/11082652
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

That happened uh?

...

This is more credible than you might think.

7/10

>its a "stormweenie injects too many marijuanas and mistakes his pillow for a woman" episode again.

That girl's name? Albert Einstein

...

Holy shit I usually have to pretend I'm a liberal Muslim immigrant to get laid.

Doubt.jpg

OP please, think of your future.

i might reheat this pasta later

Lucky fuck, the only Americans I ever meet always shill for Hillary.

lol same

I told a stupid slut my dad is Nigel Farage and posted this picture and she thought he was cute and gave me a hand job/ball massage

shit was cash

IWantToBelieve.jpg

SAME BRO

>be at bar
>Girl sitting in bar talking about the ALT RIGHT
>Chuckle and turn to her
>You know nothing whore
>Tell her about the kikes
>Tell her about how she wants to fuck black guys
>Tell her how she's also really a lesbian
>Holocaust never happened you worthless normie
>Tell her how Hitler was pretty cool guy
>She say's she believes in aliens
>explain to her how one is running the country
>tell her about multi universe theory base on a kid book about bears
>tell her that she's probably been raped by 20 Muslims already

Needless to say we fucked quite a bit that night my friends.

kek

kek

I saw that porno a couple months ago of the pic. Good taste.

...

How big was her dick, OP?

>Just fuck my future up

>I told her I was one of the main people behind it

>m-m'lady will surely reward my good boy political attitude
>s-s-stormweenies heh

Nothing beats "Rock n Roll in My Butthole". Timeless art, imo

Literally everyone I know is a conspiracy theorist.

Banging lefty bitches is easy, let them know your powerlevel and suddenly they want your D because they're not supposed to. They can't help but but being an evil racist neo-nazi makes you seem more alpha to them. And if you come off as just sexist enough to be offensive but not enough to make them run right away, then your golden. Liberal bitches like any other female seek out men who will abuse their pussies as fuckbuddies.

In my inner circle all we do is ball til we all got triangles on our walls tbqh fambam.

...

>hey guys look im conservative and got laid for it
>posts degenerate picture of ugly kike getting her ass eaten out

there are so many reasons you shoud kys i can't even begin to list them

Nice blog post, friendo

>what is irony
go shart your local mart m8

He's a gay bottom, so he's all good with his effeminate opinions.

>These aren't my glasses

This same exact situation is how I fucked Rachel Maddow.

I'd like to take a poll

Putting your face in a womans ass is degenerate and makes her lose respect for you on an animal level. It's too far in submission. You can eat her out, but never lick her asshole.

IMPORTANT POLL ON ASS EATING. Sup Forums OUT YOU HAVEN'T HAD SEX YET
strawpoll.me/11082652

Yeah, you got laid by showing her swastikas and awoos. The only true way to any woman's heart. She mist have been one of the few thousand people who actually watched the rally.

>a future to believe in

I'm looking forward to global thermonuclear war too

Something tells me this was your first, OP.

I can confirm this works. I do a similar thing all the time on tinder. Chicks don't want to bang leftist nu-males. If you are fit, charming, and have a good job they will conform to your politics quickly. Being a little dangerous never hurts either.

JUST

>fit, charming, and have a good job
i am all of these things but a manlet. convince me i have a chance in the world

>protip: you can't

this actually happened to me. Alt-Right is the new rebellion. It's punk rock; loud, edgy, taboo, and bad-boy. It's Elvis shaking his hips in the conservative 50s. Girls want bad boys

Every fucking time

>manlet
Just end your life already.

>shit that never happened: the post

I fucked a 9/10 jungle asian mix, from Tinder, she hates nu-males and obsessed over how hairy I am. Cuddled me for hours afterwards and we talked about random stuff. Turned out to have similar interests to me.

>I'm 5'8
>I'm 30
>She's 22 and so tight that she squeezes my dick out like a watermelon seed when she cums, not that I care because I specifically told her that I'd be using her like a fuckdoll and her orgasms were her problem
>Still kept having to hold her down and re-insert over and over because of that problem
>perfect ass would make nigger girls cry in jealousy
>face looks good from front as well as side
>has southern accent

AND I DID THIS BY TELLING HER I WAS AN ACTIVIST FOR TRUMP

she went "ew gross" and then I just taunted her continually until she demanded to meet

I'm either too drunk for this or not drunk enough...

Protip: You're all of those only from your perspective.

i'm sorry that a compactly built man fucked your one-itis or married your mom after your dad left, and then step-manlet never bought you a nintendo

I dunno, how much of a manlet? I am a 5'10" manlet but that still makes me taller than most girls so it never really comes up.

pretty much this, just have a sense of pride in yourself and don't CARE what others think, if you care about it at all it becomes cringe

>unironically getting the JUST hairstyle

>>tell her about multi universe theory base on a kid book about bears


this one works. no, really. it works. chicks dig the bears and something about it blowing their mind makes them well.. yknow

I don't care if this is real

I fucking love this election cycle simply because something even remotely like this is relevant enough to be a shitpost on 'Paul'

You shudn't refer to ur Mum as a "chick".

Is disrespectful.

i sniffed

>walk into seedy bar
>see a biker gang having a few drinks
>"heh hell's angels? pussies in my opinion"
>they stand up and look at me
>I tip my fedora and say "not so fast boys, I'm alt right"
>they nervously sit down and I put my hacking phone back into my trenchcoat pocket
>order a virgin margarita and leave

Feels good being part of the most dangerous underground group in the world.

>mfw soon we'll hear chatter in public about this mysterious group

I can't wait to pretend I'm a secret agent

nigga i'm 5'7"

this

Gotta concur with this user here. Well put.
I was talking with a friend just the other day. Recommended I wear my politics like a badge of honor. Be more vocal. Be brave. Be brash.
"We're a dying breed," he said.
Still, never thought in my many years of browsing this Mongolian basket-weaving forum that we would end up here.
Life is strange. All praise due to Kek.

seems legit

start being a person that exists in the world and not a height statistic on a ugandan basketweaving forum

don't forget to vaseline those rubbers, m8

god why does it always come back to basket weaving

>person that exists in the world
but the world is gay af m8 i dont want to exist in it

world is a shit, world was always a shit, grow a pair and start making the world take some of YOUR shit

Remember the OP about going out there and sharing your views with people said? This, the exact thing is now happening before your very eyes.

>My chick pick up possibilities may have increased simply because a corrupt politician mentioned alt-right

FUCK YEAH

>5'7"
>120lbs
>h-hey world, it's t-time i st-started bullying you!

k i'll let you know how that works out after i get beaten up and ostracized for it

In that, we disagree. This is an excellent time to be alive. Buy a motorcycle so you can experience this dystopian cyberpunk future in all its glory.

I stood up to my libtard english prof this morning when she started rambling about "doctors hate women and nobody cares about women's health" and "white male establishment"

I got booted from the class but everyone else followed me

She flipped out when we called her a racist

Felt good

Was it boipucci?

I'll take NEET fantasies for 500, please.

I also highly recommend racecars. You said you had a decent job too right? I promise you there is no better way to turn money into smoke and noise than racing cars. Bonus: manlets fit better, especially in open wheelers.

jesus christ,

i'll let you in on a secret

manlet strength.

we look at weights, we put on mass. we hardly ever need to even roid. start exercising and eating right and start learning some useful skills and accept that you are the only person responsible for happiness in life and if you AREN'T up for providing it for yourself, then yes, kill yourself.

however i suggest you don't and grope along in misery until your mid 20s, at that point you may figure things out and that's better than being dead imo

also i'm suggesting getting in some quality shape because:

it's good if you want to do things outdoors
it's good for sex and you will actually have it
it's necessary for the coming race war
it lets you do things like metalworking or woodworking or gardening if you want to have 'hobbies' and grow as a person instead of

WASTING YOUR LIFE SHITPOSTING HERE.

Nice fantasy, too bad you are 12

>5'7"
>Amerimanlets

ayy lmao

>that profile
Jeez.

literally had to look up what this berenstein conspiracy was

T. didn't read much as a kid

Sounds like that little lad is doing just fine for himself desu senpai.

> women will surely love my pro-immigration stance. We need more muslim males in Britain.
> w-why are you banging Ahmed and his 50 cousins?

Jesus fucking christ I love it.

Niceee! B)

Now this is a future to believe in!

>S- Stacy... did I tell you I am v... voting for Clinton..? Please pay attention to me...

UNR BROS IN THE HOUSE!

Also Summit is still not even finished and people are already moving in. :/

You degenerate fucker, she's one step closer to being a single mother/social cancer thanks to you. You know promiscuity fucks us all over, you traitor.

You may as well be liberal.

Yeah, your tiny little arms muscle up quicker than a lot of taller but stronger guys, so you don't even need to lift heavy to look strong

keked hard; nice job user

>walk to class
>leftycuck sitting with his "girlfriend" says racism is terrible and that polyamorous relationships are fine
>smack his girlfriend on the ass and she instantly orgasms
>he sits there in shock and then mutters "h-hey that's my girlfriend"
>a couple of his friends start talking amongst themselves
>take off my shirt and show off my Pepe tattoo
>they all fall into silence out of fear
>all the women start muttering "oh my god he's alt right"
>walk out of that classroom with the attractive women coming with me
>tell the nu-male professor "I already know this class better than you so I shouldn't waste time here, have a nice day"
>he just mutters "y-you too"
>tries to mark me with an F, but then I visit his home and fuck his wife
>tell him that it would be rude to mark down a man that gave such pleasure to his girl and starts muttering for a second, but then stops and says "yes of course, here's your A+"
Such is life in the alt right.

Shorter arms=better mechanical advantage than long arms, you can hit harder IF you get close.

>Shorter arms=better mechanical advantage
Australian physics

are people just figuring this out?

What does any of your post have to do with me wanting to sniff girls' assholes lol.

Lower center of gravity, denser bones, equal strength to larger men, live longer thanks to less stress on heart... truely, lanklets are btfo

shes gonna play double agent lelel

"ermagerd im infiltrating the alt right maymay soo cool Im gonna expose dey leaders !!"

Dood

We're all secret agents, of the memetic order

I mean look, check these dubs

Nah, Anne Frank. Who met Albert Einstein at a Bar Mitzvah.