Things you won't hear Muslims say

Things you won't hear Muslims say

Israel is okay

A goat? Why would I fuck that?

Maybe I shouldn't kill scores of innocent people?

I don't rape

I follow abrogated verses of the Koran

Pass me some that bacon ma nigga.

What purpose do I have in the west? I don't want to go there and be a drain on welfare and resources!

I took a shower today.

When entering an airport: I'm a Muslim

Merry Christmas
Happy Birthday
Praise Jesus

I bring home the bacon.

Sorry

Hi, me and my wives Ashziki, Tanjizabu, Rashmazadaz decided we don't want kids. We like the way things are.

The local mosque is organizing a barbeque, wanna come?

...and if you pull this lever, the landing gear should deploy to make a safe landing.

Let's assimilate!

By practicing my religion diligently, I was able to have a profound spiritual experience which completely changed my views on the nature of reality and man and God's role in that reality. And that experience has led me to change my behavior in such a positive way, with endless love and compassion for my fellow man, until at last I had a spiritual awakening that has brought joy into my life and allowed me to focus my time and energy on helping others and generally making the world a better place. And doing so without killing anyone.

sure, ill take a shower.

Most people wash multiple times a day. No idea what the source of this meme is.

Its just a small difference in opinion, theres no need to bomb them over this.

lets not over react over a little cultural difference, I think killing innocent women and children would be a little excessive.

"Man, ISIS seems to be interpreting the Koran as it is written, maybe we should reevaluate our religion and do more to curb would be terrorists."

Here's your tax money for being a Muslim.

Lol that's a hilarious drawing of Muhammad. So glad I'm able to take a joke

I don't care if it's haram

Gays are human too

I'm happy

are you actually an Iranian, and a muslim too?

If yes to both, why would you come here?

Iranian and secret atheist.

"The prophet Muhammad did something unethical."

I want to advance out of the stone age. oh, and maybe I shouldn't fuck that goat today.
Fine, I won't fuck the little boys either, even though i love his little halal sausage and stuffing him with ticking clocks when I'm done

That guy is planning a terrorist attack

That pic could be very sexy if you removed the Muslim element. I was just thinking about this the other day. There used to be a theatre in the hipster side of town (we used to call them yuppies) which showed all kinds of cool movies. It always got new movies that had limited distribution, like indie films. And at midnight on Friday and Saturday at least, and sometimes all throughout the week,, it would play a cult classic, like "A Clockwork Orange" or "Blue Velvet". Well, inevitably, it got bought out by some large corporation on they stopped doing that except for Saturdays at midnight.

They used to show "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" on at least one screen every Saturday at midnight, and usually there were actually live performers acting out the movie down in front of the screen. But when the corporation took over, they limited it to only the last Saturday of the month, and there weren't always live actors, and the audience participation element was greatly reduced to pretty much just the dialogue; throwing rice, toilet paper, and bringing water guns was prohibited. But people still dressed up. And I'll never forget seeing this girl who looked about 19, was about 5'7", 120 lbs., long, silky black hair and pale white skin dressed in fishnets, high heels and lingerie, all black, with a guy on a collar wearing nothing but a gimp mask, leather underwear and combat boots. I'm not even a sub, I'm a dom, but it was still so fucking hot and I never forgot about it. I was just thinking about it yesterday, considering taking my girl there, but instead I'd be the one holding the leash, as she already has a leash and a collar (and a dog bowl) that we use for sex.

Pic related is her

I have frequent flyer miles.

After you m'lady.

Sorry about those terror attacks the other day.

>Could
>Would
>Should

If we remove these three retarded-ass words from our vocabularies and look at the cold hard facts, the world wouldn't be so fucked up today.

sorry

What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm glad Barrack Hussein Obama is not one of us.

I'm not a faggot.

ok

Winner

I wish I could read

I embrace western culture since my own made me flee my homeland.

Coexist

sure we'll take those poor christian refugges

I wish we had a strong religion like Christianity to prevent our societies from being cucked by Kikes and their various degenerate ideologies.

How do we stop our women from being degenerate whores?

Why am i a virgin at the age of 30?

>tfw our prophet will never be as alpha and based as Europes

i am going to become a productive citizen that dont relly on welfare

Muslim here

>big dick
>military service
>conservative
>earn 6 figure salary, no degree

What have you fat fucks done with your lives?

Maybe Allah isn't all that Akbar

>nS4SwAdf
>S4S
nice meme

pork is delicious

Hey Infidels,

My name is Mehmet, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of muslims because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to ankle on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the Sharia Council of London, and beheader on my ISIS team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all infidels who should behead yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

bump :^)

Right. Most people. Not most Muslims.

Look, the Koran is fun to read, but it isn't meant to be taken LITERALLY. Especially the KILLING part! Sheesh!

Under fucking rated.

Unwashed hobo look due to the bears and robes. Also Arabs have a horrid body odour. Either that or a severe overdose of deodorant. Both are really repulsive.