what the fuck is wrong with handshakes these days?
because of my job, I meet multiple new people everyday. no bullshit, maybe 20% of males have an acceptable handshake. on top of that, people seem to be somewhat taken aback when you actually shake their hand, instead of offering up a limp fish
. Hardly any are able to look others in the eye these day as you pass in the street. They dip their head and pretend to study their mobile phone instead
poor buggers
Blake King
Touching another man is gay as shit. If you reach out something to do and you're not a hot ass bitch after my dick, we're gonna have a problem.
Isaac Cox
right , its not like i want to fucking fondle your hand for a second , fucking actually give me a firm handshake , hate those pussies
Caleb Campbell
If you can't close a 250 gripper at least, keep your mouth shut you little girly man
Andrew Nelson
not hygienic
Ayden Jenkins
i know what ya mean. This morning, i shook somebodys hand, looked down at their pathetic attempt, and called them a faggot. Got arrested for hate speech shortly after.
Hudson Ortiz
lol handshake pissing contests are one of the weirdest surviving traditions in stupid macho bullshit
Jaxson Long
nigga , handshake is the most well known ancient way of being alpha - manly
Ryder Reyes
Maybe they just don't want to touch you.
Colton Cox
lol stfu about that , what are you sucking on your fingers like lolipops when your done ?
Liam Collins
My thumb webbing should come in contact with your thumb webbing.
STOP GIVING ME JUST YOUR FINGERS YOU FUCKING FRUITCAKE!
Henry Myers
...
Landon Sullivan
Some gutless faggots attempt the short shrift power squeeze but I am a captain of crush and put it to them until they wince a bit in the eye. Set the thing straight right away.
Tyler Brown
I am from London, most new people I meet are black or brown poo in street and wipe your ass with your hand type, naturally we dont shake hands. I always carry antiseptic tissues in case I do have shake someones hand.
Henry Richardson
Just a leaf.
Jason Taylor
nothing to do with being macho. you could be th most effeminate male to have ever graced the earth and I'd still respect you more than the Chad the bodybuilder who offers up a limp fish
Sebastian Gonzalez
...
Levi Wood
didn't know women browsed 4ch
Jack Phillips
exacctllyy
Charles Bell
>not grabbing early to just get their fingers make them feel like a pussy
Cooper Moore
Yeah enjoy getting your face smashed in like the faggot you are.
Zachary Reed
>limp fish I hate when this happens, like wtf man
Owen Gutierrez
Like 30% of all people have literal shit stains on their hands. Many people never wash their hands after going to the toilet and just as many casually scratch their ass daily.
Juan Morris
You're right. The limp fish is fucking gay. Seriously. Give me a firm handshake. Don't rub your limp hand against me like a weirdo. WTH is that?
Grayson Carter
I don't (can't) shake hands.
I have mental problems and am on neetbux for it.
Hands are dirty.
Jaxson Sanders
I think it's kind of cringey when someone squeezes my hand really hard when we handshake.
Yeah, I get it, you're tough or something because you squeezed my hand really hard. Didn't really ask you to, not sure what I did to deserve that asshole, but hey, whatever.
The idea that I have to squeeze your hand to prove I'm tough seems fucking retarded. I'm not going to go through the effort of trying to gauge whether someone will squeeze and thus I should squeeze back or if someone will just do the common sense thing and keep their grip to themselves expecting me to do the same.
I certainly don't want to get into a contest to see who can grip the other harder as well, because it's pointless and I don't want to have to say sorry if you start saying "ow," because I went too far.
John James
This.
Jordan Diaz
Handshakes are for pussies, people suck my cock when they greet me.
Wyatt Reed
>he doesn't realize a grip that's TOO strong in a handshake is a sign of insecurity
There's a reason they say to be firm, not excessive.
Lucas Cooper
I also am a big proponent of the lefty ambush if I don't like the way someone looks. Ambidexterity rules.
Samuel Gutierrez
Who cares? Just assert your dominance.
Isaac Hernandez
i mean if you are shaking the hand of filthy untermensch maybe , but fuck dood
Jaxon Hall
I swear to god some people must do this.
I stop, grab their wrist and say "that's just awful, give me a real handshake" and grab the full handshake.
I've done this to people in the office even if they have a higher position than me. Don't give me a fucking halfy, you cunt. You're not better than me.
Caleb Sanchez
If shaking a man's hand arouses gay thoughts then I have some bad news, user. You're gay.
Lucas Lopez
>shake someone's hand >they grab my fingers You son of a bitch.
Jonathan Wright
I have small hands
Ethan Myers
>leaf
Jaxon Lee
Even your imaginary girlfriend would fuck me behind your fat-rolled back....simpering dolt.
Ian Morales
>limp fish detected
Wyatt Green
Handshakes are too intimate for millennials.
Joseph King
i always thought it was childish when a man tries to break your hand but a lot of hand shakes are pitiful. how hard is it to give a firm two pumps
Andrew Wilson
If I know I'm going to meet someone like a salesman, I purposefully stank my hand up on my ballsack before I deliver a crushing death grip, ideally leaving my stench on them.
Tmyk
Logan Turner
Yeah I know. I shook my professor's hands and couldn't believe what a lump fish shake he gave. I thought to myself, "how on earth does this guy expect me to respect him with a shake like that?"
Jordan Butler
i don't even shake hands
all of my friends just slap hands and then fist bump after maybe a shoulder bump if we're good bros
Hudson Rodriguez
>insecure compensator detected
Aiden Richardson
well those people are dumb , others dont realize their hand strength , but a normal handshake SHOULD be firm but not death grasp firm ya know
Jeremiah Howard
Lol plus they also think women who want to fuck you will want to shake your hand...
Jonathan Reyes
/thread
Caleb Reed
good thing we can just hug and take a selfie together
Hunter Parker
this shit happens all the time, I go in for some confident full contact 100% heterosexual thumb webbing on thumb webbing action and he clamps down when I'm 80% of the way there
Josiah Martin
I'm posting on hospital wifi waiting for my mother to drive her home and you fucking throw shit like this at me
Please mind where you force giggles out of people.
Nathaniel Harris
It's always more surprising when a guy who appears to be a Chad has a limp fish hand shake.
Eli Flores
how about using rubber gloves m8
ps nice dubs
Landon Morales
I don't think I have ever shaken the vast majority of my friend's hands.
I'm talking about business settings, where handshakes are to be expected
Andrew Martinez
politely assertive, two shakes, eye contact, smile
congrats you just started this professional relationship with a +5 trust bonus
you level up! increase (S)trength, (D)exterity, or (I)ntelligence?
Owen Rodriguez
I don't shake someone's hand with strength so they lower their guard and I can stab them in the back.
Luis Parker
I find that Asian men are most likely to offer up a cold fish. They don't understand handshake culture, and literally think that all they have to do is touch their palm to yours. But then you get these dudebro chads with something to prove who actually try to break your hand by squeezing so hard and don't even attempt to "shake" it, they just want to prove how strong they are.
My results have been the same as OP's. Only about 20% of men (a lot lower percentage of women) know how to properly shake someone's hand.
Zachary Phillips
Cuck him mentally by putting out your left and refusing to withdraw it until he submits. I did this to a man with baby flipper monofinger left arm and totally groped it like I was going to steal it.
Camden Johnson
Sorry bro. I hope she's ok, and tell her a random Sup Forums user says "hi."
Xavier Gonzalez
>the fuck is this guy doing, looks a bit too eager... creep
What people actually think of you. Better look for other "how to interact with people" guides, because I know you read a few to learn how to pretend to be a human being -- it's evident by how you view it as a formula
Aaron Richardson
Ahmed, raping every woman you meet may be acceptable in Pakistan, but in an actual civilized place, it's not
Jason Bell
I have a firm grip but my autism kicks in at the shake part and I either have a limp wrist or move my entire arm.
Colton Bell
>I judge people based on the pressure they apply when I perform a hand ritual with them this is the whole point of your handshake ritual, you realize?
to decide that someone is worthless trash because they either squeezed too much (they're obviously overcompensating!) or they squeezed too little (they're obviously a cuck!)
if you are satisfied with each and every handshake you make then there would be no reason to continue doing it, because it would no longer serve the function of allowing you to make stupid assumptions about people
Jacob Walker
Stop
Tyler Sullivan
my firm but fair handshake would make you shit your pants outside a walmart
Jayden Ward
Absence of the handshakes was one of the first things I spot when moved to the US from ex-soviet country. Not sure if it's a slav or soviet thing, but we shake hand with every man we greet during the day. Doesn't matter if it's your best friend, or just a guy who stand next to a person you know. And it's considered rude if you don't shake hand of every man in the group you're greeting.
Daniel Collins
>squeezing peoples' hands when shaking them You're the cringey one m8.
You don't fucking wring their hand unless you hang out with douches or are in highschool
You firmly grip their hand and shake for about 1-2 seconds then release.
Dylan Myers
I dont know why people get this autistic about handshakes
Brandon Bennett
>when your kind of close but not really and your pretty sure you work with him but you can't really tell so you just make some noise and he looks at you strange and it turns out he's literally who
JUST
Noah Carter
Fishman detected
Levi Hughes
Autist confirmed
Caleb Ward
pls go
Henry Cooper
Don't feel ashamed. Your retarded idol Drumpf does too.
Michael Phillips
deal with the fact that your primitive hand ritual is stupid, senpai
Robert Hill
>claims to be firm >says being firm is limp fish
Make up your mind you insecure faggot.
I bet I could break your arm with my grip alone.
Owen James
But I stole a piece of bread as a child and I have no hands.
How do you guys shake hands and hold vodka bottles at the same time?
Luis Gray
because it is subjective
and doesnt matter TO THEM
Juan Price
Whenever I shake hands I do it as hard as possible and hold on for a long time to assert my dominance. So far I am the most dominate man I've met.
Aiden Myers
>Leaf
Brandon Russell
No, the handshake began as a ritual amongst feudal societies to establish trust and to show you are not armed.
Robert Diaz
Hej Achmed
Nicholas King
I've had this problem for a year, I just stress when I pass near people, I just don't know where to look what to do wether im walking in a silly way.
Now I force myself to make eye contact with the person that passes by and if they smile I smile back.
Asher Collins
>not initiating every handshake your self with your left hand Now they have to think about the handshake and submit to your hand preference
Jaxon Myers
>not grabbing their knuckles and grinding them while smiling innocently (and knowingly) to their face
Jackson Perry
Brian?
Cameron Young
I personally have a pre-injured hand. So avoid shakes. Also like the Japs way of bowing. I don't want to touch some strangers hand who probably just got done jerking it
Juan Nguyen
Dude was an alpha project manager and powerlifter (used bar strap for flipper limb) like a unmanlet Scott Caan. He was usually a dick to people but was very agreeable toward me after that.
Jordan King
Handshakes aren't meant to be a grip contest. From what I understand, it may have developed from people showing that their hand is unarmed and not a threat to the person. Which I never understood, because what about the other hand?
Anyway, physical touch is a way to remove the natural prejudice toward strangers. Allowing somebody to touch you implies a certain level of trust. It doesn't make you intimately involved with the person, but it's a strong enough bond to acquaint you with someone and feel that they aren't an immediate threat.
Not that this can't be exploited, but a mugger or attacker doesn't generally shake your hand first.
Josiah Davis
it no longer does this. the only purpose left is to irrationally judge that someone is either an autist or insecure because they didn't apply your desired level of pressure
but maybe they do it differently in the UK. maybe you're literally doing it because you literally think they might have arms otherwise. let me know
David Stewart
I always make sure to have food all over my hands, just sneeze or cough into it or something like that if I think some faggot will attempt to shake my hand.
Its fucking gross and I caught warts and ringworm from shaking hands.
Jacob Myers
Should women have a firm handshake as well?
Oliver Gutierrez
put your foot out instead
John Adams
Where did he say anything about squeezing too hard? There's a very distinct difference between a firm handshake and a limp fish without assuming that the only option besides limp fish is a death grip.
Elijah Smith
there is nothing 'subjective' about a good handshake.
there are acceptable handshakes, and unacceptable ones.
if our hands interlock fully and you apply even a small amount of force, it's a good handshake in my book. vast majority of males shake like women. partially interlocked hands, limp wristed, no grip whatsoever
Ethan Walker
>but a mugger or attacker doesn't generally shake your hand first. what if they did?