How do you trigger/insult a Texan?

How do you trigger/insult a Texan?

A lot of them are Aussie-tier and they hardly flinch when banting

>(have Texan roommate btw)

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Texas
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Accuse James Bowie of being a transvestite.

>45.3% white
Call him a mexican.

Talk shit about Texas in any form and just keep making fun of it like ask him how he pronounces Texas in spanish because the mexicans are taking over

Call him a dumb shit republican.

Talk about how his dad killed Kennedy
Say his wife isn't hot

CTR plz

texas is shi-

there you go, you don't even have to finish your sentence.

Sup Forums in the black bowtie

I am a texan mexican though.

Mexicans have been part of Texas since independence.

It's the western states that have been white up till now.

This. Messing with Texas is frowned upon in theTexan culture.

Say texas barbeque is shit

Tell him that only two things come from Texas: steers and queers.

And he don't look much like a steer.

Shart in Mart

Won't work, it will just end in a big sticky cook off.

steers and queers

aussies have vegemite and fairy bred

texans have BBQ and steak

you know what to insult

Explain to them the superiority of Oklahoma.

tell them texas is a small state compaired to alaska

If from west Texas insist that Texas is a part of the south.

If East, insist that Texas has nothing to do with the south.

Not much, but it'll get some going

Chris Kyle is a glorified murderer.

tell them to get a cock, not a glock

Talk shit about whataburger

Tell him the Sooners are better than the Longhorns. And that Bob Stoops is a based god.

whataburger is dry

do your traffic cops pay for those highschool stadiums?

California mexican can't be beat from mission burritos to carne asada fries, Tex-mex is just ground beef with shredded lettuce and cheese.

Why do Texans complain about CA migrants but move to Colorado?

Say Austin is the best part of Texas.

Tell them that you just bought an electric grill, ask them to pick up some hot dogs so you can have a real texas-style barbecue.

Anyone else read that as big sticky cock off?

Tell him Texans are the proudest people to ever lose a war.

That's my state flower.

Whataburger is a goddammed national treasure. I live in GA so im not blessed with the "waterburgers" like the glorious gulf coast.

Talking shit about Whataburger is out of line, even for Aussie tier bantz.

Call them Rednecks, if they are Spanish call them wetbacks. Mockingly

OP do this it would always get me arguing with the personOr talk about all the Californians and Midwesterners moving into Texas
that would always trigger me and my other Texan roommate

Shit-tier bants, Hobbitstralia. You can do better.

See, what did I tell you.

Trust me OP, I deal with Texans all the time in my work.

>Seriously though Smash Burger > Whataburger

>implying that won't just make us want some tex-mex

I could actually go for some tamales right now desu

Texan here. Our chili is supreme, but Memphis-style is the best BBQ.

...

Ask if there's a snake in his boot.

Did a variation of it
He was like "Texas is a big state"
Then I said "for you"
But it was awkward

yes

Had for lunch today, always feels good man.

That perfect kinda greasy

Monterey melt

I love pintos and kidney beans in my texas chili

Did you visit a Mart after that?

Where ever did that retarded nonsense about no beans in real chili come from?

What, lets be honest here. Americans cant banter. Even your stumpy thumbed texans wouldnt last a night out on the piss with the boys.

This.
>Or talk about all the Californians and Midwesterners moving into Texas
Or this.

Austin is a liberal yuppie shithole, filled with arrogant prissy faggots.
And Texas is getting swarmed with fucking Commiefornies.
For that matter, depending on age of the target, talking about the niggers that made an exodus to Texas in the wake of Katrina may do the trick.

As an Alabamian I always tell them they're not southern, but South Western, and that really gets them riled up. Good fun.

>retarded shit
Only faggot Midwesterners and Yankees like beans in their chili
Its disgusting

>dat blonde semen demon

why did I impregnant and marry a plain woman before I became fluant in woman tier banter.

>Austin is a liberal yuppie shithole, filled with arrogant prissy faggots.
Funny thing is even native Austincucks hate the new arrivals
They are pricing everyone out of every city in Texas
What city is he from?
Does he like sports?
Whats this roommate like I need to tailor it better

Oh fuck off, I'm born and raised Texan and I've never met a single fucking person that didn't like beans in their chili.

East Texas is South.

The rest isn't.

Texas chili has no beans, neither does cincinatti style... but they don't count 'cause they serve that shit over spaghetti... Oddly enough real traditional chili has no meat.. but vegetarians are fags so fuck that shit.

Piss on the Alamo. It would trigger them so bad.

>and that really gets them riled up.
I never understood this. Texas isn't southern. Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia are bastions of southern culture. But Texas? Texas has nothing to do with the south.

Ask them about ted cruz. Why does he want the delegates?

Dallas, annoying him about Fort Worth and Houston being better kinda work, but he brushed it off

He's a college football and basketball fan

>I never understood this.

Because you and dumbshits like you don't realize how big Texas is, and that a fairly large part of Texas is southern without question.

Nah based HEB to buy lonestar, nothing but college hotties this time of year.

Then you are some kind of nu-"Texan"
Next thing you'll say is pork barbecue is just fine
Beans go with beans
chili goes with chili
>Dallas
lol ask him why the freeways are so shit in Dallas

Lel, I understand just how big it is. You might be able to stretch and say that out near Beaumont is southern, but that's about it. Texas ain't a southern state, friend.

Amicable Texans, where along your beautiful coast would be a great place to live/work.

No, it's not. Careful not to get too riled there... cowboy.

i kinda wish texas would leave america

they don't even like being apart of it, always talking shit about other states

they have more spanish and mexican influences in their culture than anglo-american ones anyway, i consider texas to be more of a latin american state than an anglo-american state

Texas is unique desu

The freeways are shit tho, why would he get upset about that

The coast isn't as pretty here (at least where I've been) compared to other gulf states like Florida etc

Depends on what you do for work

It's a king of the hill reference.

Although it probably worked on Hank so well because he's a New Yorker.

I would say avoid the Houston, 'cept you're an aussie The heat won't ripple your dick and niggers can't be too bad compared to the ultra-nigger abos. Good amount of work out here. Dallas is still growing, and still red.

Just shit on Texas. Texas is such a fucking lie. They promise great women and good people but really it's just Trailer trash, sluts, spics, California liberal feeling their own votes and Katrina niggers.

Texas is a shit hole, wish we could kick them out of America.

Houston

And what is wrong with that?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Texas

And no, Texas itself is not a southern state, but a fair portion of the state is itself southern.

My god,

I hope you had bowel control.

I'm sorry dude nothing gets under our skin about Texas we are just that unshakeable
Its not even arrogance we are just brainwashed from an early age and then we get to be part of a gigantic bully
Even those who hate Texas hate it in a way that gives it power

Also, migrate legally and you can own a proper gun. Wild pig hunting has no season out here Houston way, they're a real nuisance.

abos are better than urban coons because they just shit in the desert huff petrol and die at 50, most of our crime is white meth-heads

If you don't eat shit all the time and take care of your body, having the occasional burger and beer doesn't fuck you up.

>Texas coast
>beautiful
Toppest of keks.

Always wondered can you eat the wild pigs or are they full of worms and parasites?

I'm guessing they aren't edible.

I guess if the triggering is worth getting murdered. Don't mess with Texas.

I wish we would leave too. Fuck the feds.

Because the lot of you are cucks.

This is... true haha. I think the majority may be switching soon if it hasn't yet.

I know, these people have never seen the Gulf I'm guessing kek.

I know familia, I live there. Texas is great, just wish it wasn't so damn hot.

Sure they are, if they aren't all diseased. just cook thoroughly and dont expect it to taste like market pork. if you're not turning it into sausage soak the meat in milk to reduce the gamey taste

i'm not a cuck, i just recognize that america has gotten to big for it's own good and we can't have proper nationalism with people being so disconnected

i'm from appalachia, what do I have in common with texans or cascadians or floridians or whatever?

i live closer to canada than I do texas, yet I don't feel some special connection with canadians.

the american experiment was a failure. time to learn from it and move on. smaller nations will always be more cohesive than empires.

Galveston during a hurricane

>A lot of you are cucks
>Mexicans are taking over your state

Kekest of keks.

Sounds like the ideal automatic Jew, they just gas themselves.

Port Aransas is pretty nice, but everything else is pretty janky.

What about the cultural aspect of sharting?
Dont neglect your heritage, boy.

wow you're right looks like a shithole

2/10

Go finger a dyke

>Thinks sharting is a bad thing

You can't call yourself free if you aren't allowed to shit your pants.

Mention how more and more Californians are moving to Texas everyday.

Galveston is fine, just leave before the sun goes down... it gets dark real early in that town.

Just be a stereotypical liberal in general, that infuriates the fuck out of me. Might not work if he's from Austin or El Paso.