The Last Jedi spoilers 1/3

Spoiler #1: Snoke and Leia are Rey's parents

While Han is absent, after struggling with his own demons and being a good father to Ben (who isn't anything like him). There is a tall fellow at the church who takes Ben under his wing. He teaches Ben many things about the nature of the force, his father and also dark side stuff. Luke doesn't really approve of it and argues that Ben should focus on becoming a Jedi master first. Meanwhile Leia takes a liking in this tall (and very charming) fellow who looks after her son and they have a fling. She gets pregnant and has a baby daughter. Soon after Han returns things start to get awkward. The tall fellow of the church doesn't like Han trying to take back Leia and he reveals his true self (now Snoke) in a confrontation with Luke (about Ben and Leia). Luke injurers and nearly kills Snoke and Ben sees this. Ben then fights Luke (but Luke doesn't want to kill Ben and gets injured by Ben). Ben then saves Snoke and kills most of the students (but not all!)). Leia knows they will be after the baby and gives them to a couple she trusts from the church and they take care of the baby. After a few quiet years they get chased and drop of the girl (now Rey) off on Jaku.

>nu Wars fanfic
Even if it's true it's still irrelevant.

>Leia fucking anyone other than Han
Oh man, I can't wait to see the blow back and/or excuses from people for that one.

Church? What?

Church of the Force

>Han solo is a cuck

100% fake. Read Bloodline.

Snoke is not human, Rey is, full stop.

But Han and Leia didn't separate until after Kylo turned on the new temple.

Leia doesn't have a son in Bloodline. Old canon.

So Kylo/Ben is at least 15 years older than Rey?
>555 come on now

No one cares. This movie will do worse than the last one. The first movie was just a reproduction of a movie everyone has already seen. Pathetic they couldn't come up with something new.

Rey is 19, Kylo is 30

do you have any other information about TLJ?

meh.

tl;dr and #NotMyStarWars and #TheyAreAllUgly and #TheFirstMarySueJedi

I honsetly wonder how people would react, especially all these nostalgiafags. It's bad enough the killed him off, only to posthumously reveal him as a pathetic cuck only to further Rey's storyline.

this is the funniest fan fiction i've ever read please continue

I want spoilers 2/3

PLEASE! PART 2!

here you go, spoilers part 2:

part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2

part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2 part 2

Thank you

PART 3 please!!!

Worst thing about internet is everyone thinks that their shitty fanfic should be made public.