ITT: Sup Forums writes an Alien movie one line at a time

ITT: Sup Forums writes an Alien movie one line at a time.

EXT. SPACE

bonus

wheat

situation

Hans Zimmer's updated score begins to resound eerily as the camera pans through the darkness and past stars. It catches up with a hulking spacecraft, so enormous it looks as though it might contain an entire town within.

CHYRON (GREEN AND FLICKERING): 5077 - AMADEUS COLONY VESSEL - WEYLAND YUTANI

A beat as the camera comes closer to the craft's exterior.

Across the bottom of the screen: 1,000 passengers journey to a sanctioned planet to establish a colony. Little do they know, one of them carrie the heart of a xenomorph.

*sounds typically associated with gaseous excretions*

Who planted this wheat here?

Cut to interior cabin
Pickle Rick stares out a porthole at the vastness of space

Pan downward to a lunar nudist colony

...

Suddenly, Bane-Xenomorph come out of the wheat

>"Perhaps he's wondering why one would plant wheat before killing human life forms," said Bane-Xenomorph

XENO?

>(they never come down here)

But if you're gay and I'm black THEN WHOS FLYING THE SHIP?!?!?

hnghhhhhhhh

Alex Jones crashed his ship into the hull. He appears through the smoke with a M60 and without a shirt

Cheque please!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DANIELS HELP MEEEEEEEEEE

Guys the next alien film is looking pretty great. Top notch visual effects.

>Who are you
I'm ur mum

>They run into the cockpit
>It's a giant carnivorous plant

The plant feeds a few crewmembers it's seeds, and then brutally sucks and fucks them.