Will I ever like people again?
Since I've gotten into politics and then pol last summer I haven't actually connected with people since. I've had my friends and I've had some girls but it never really meant anything to me and I almost always prefer to be alone even though I feel incredibly lonely. How do you guys deal with this?
bump
>tfw no redpilled gf
Bump
I've tried getting back into Christianity. All of the churches in my area are totally corrupted and care more about fitting in with society instead of being true. I got into weightlifting. Being surrounded by so many people and my friend I lifted with who were only doing it for these awful vapid narcissistic reasons eventually turned me off. It felt like I had better ways to spend my time.
Sometimes when I do spend time with my friends I go on moral tirades. I can't help it. I'd rather them understand me and stay away from me than just lie and try to act "normal" just to fit in. I talk about the Jews. I say words like faggot and nigger. I defend all of this intellectually. I don't blame them for not wanting to be around it. I don't think any of them think I'm wrong they just don't want to go through what I'm going through. I don't know how to or really wish to function in this society. America is evil and Hitler was right.
Only african women go to churches near me, so going there is pointless
A few months after I got into Sup Forums I went out drinking trying to connect with people like I usually had. For no particular reason that night I just gave up. On my way home I tried killing myself by crashing my car into a sign. The lawyer said he could get me out of a dui but all he did was waste 4 months of my life and charge me 2000$ for it. I'm still on probation now and still have community service to finish but I hate going to this food bank every day and giving entitled fat people food for 8 hours.
Part of me thinks I'd just be better off back in jail. At least jail isn't a lie.
Black churches are some of my favorite things in this world. When I grew up in Georgia I was around them a lot. Black people are a huge issue in America and the churches to me seemed like a way for them to get all of their aggressive emotions out in a peaceful and civilized manner even if it did just seem like a bunch of apes screaming and flailing around everywhere.
These people aren't black, they're proper africans, the only problem I have with them is how many children they pump out.
I see.
None of the Christians I talk to seem to want to do anything about all of the corruption going on. They don't care about the Jews. They don't want to bother with it. They just want their comfort and to be able to help people in similar ways. It doesn't make since to me because they are allowing Jews subvert Christianity all over the west. Even if I lose my faith I think that's totally unacceptable. The masses need a proper religions to keep them straight.
I hear you bro. I'm trying to get back into Christianity myself. Trying to sort out right from wrong, since society has left me in a broken and confused state of degeneracy.
Sometimes I wonder if I can even handle the truth. It's changed me in such a way that I've never really recovered.
I get you. Just last weekend I got pretty hammered and screamed at some random chicks on the street "I hope you get raped" for absolutely no reason at all other than to vent at the world. I'm sure they were okay people (as far as modern women go, meh) but once the alcohol hits in, I go on self-destruct and full nihilism Elliot Rodgers mode.
It's a wonder I haven't gotten myself in a DUI or legal problems yet.
Thanks for sharing.
How are you doing with the community service and DUI thing?
I've always contemplated ending my life by thrusting my car off a bridge or cliff and have been very close to doing it before in the past. God knows why I haven't been able to go through with it.
>tfw now afraid to get drunk because you might go full gas the kikes race war now
To be honest I hate dealing with probation. Like I said before I have to do community service at this food bank. I at least got to do my probation out of state so I don't actually have to meet face to face with a po every month. All of my bosses are super leftist middle aged women that thing the food bank is like the best thing ever. Most of our "customers" are obese and very entitled and very poorly behaved. I currently live in one of the most liberal cities in the world. Once I'm finished with community service I'll have to begin drug counseling which I'm also not looking forward to.
Yeah, alcohol can be really fucking dangerous. Be careful, user.
We nazi frogs like to joke about never being able to go back, but the red-pill is one hell of a drug.
You will never fully enjoy something ever again, because of that little voice in the back of your head telling you that things are never what they seem.
The biggest red-pill that I've had to swallow is that people are just generally bad.
They are flawed, make rash decisions, get emotional, and go to great lengths to justify their actions.
You only ever find that one good person maybe once in a life time. You have to slowly test the waters with people, because you never know someone until it's too late
That sucks. Do you have to go to drug counseling just for alcohol or were there other drugs involved? How about the record, will it fuck with your future plans or are you in a position where it won't affect you as much?
that is a pretty beautiful leg tobh
>Since I've gotten into politics and then pol last summer I haven't actually connected with people since.
> I haven't actually connected with people since.
>since.
AS IF
S
I
F
i havent connected with people in 11 years, which is around the last time I had friends. That was back in senior year of JHS
You can'tconnect with people because the people you meet aren't like you.
Try to join a political society with same ideology than you.
Literally my biggest fear. I try to stay away from drugs as much as possible since I am prone to large outbursts of hysteric existentialism, especially with alcohol. Worst it's ever gotten is me sweating and trembling and screaming and having delusions of mass murder in a Wal-Mart at 3 AM. That was really scary.
I should probably get off Sup Forums and go back to pretending life is rosy and fine like back in the good old days.
Just the alcohol.
I don't really have any future plans except to try and leave the country once my year of probation is up.
Whatever, it's true.
I don't like having my degenerative relationships like I did before. I don't want anymore one night stands. I don't want to have long term relationships anymore unless it's absolutely meant for marriage and I want them to totally understand and respect where I'm at spiritually and philosophically.
What happened?
I don't know how to find that irl.
>You will never fully enjoy something ever again, because of that little voice in the back of your head telling you that things are never what they seem.
That little bit always kills me inside. I can't enjoy anything at all. Everything feels tainted and sinister. False and manufactured.
I see children happily prancing around and my eyes start to fill with tears as I slowly come to the realization that these poor sods will be robbed of their future and indoctrinated into being glorified slaves.
I see broken families. Empty, jaded people filling up the streets with their meaningless, materialistic desires. People chasing after their most base and primitive instincts. Sex, gross food, drugs and antidepressants, and mass media on a scale that no human can either fathom nor resist. No one has the time to sit down and truly care about anyone else or even worse, themselves.
And I hold no illusions of there being any good humans left. Even myself with all of my knowledge and all of my efforts at conceiving for my own image some kind of virtue, it is all destroyed once I realize I'm also one of them. I'm just as capable of evil, of reveling in the same filth that they do, and of going beyond that and even actively enjoying causing harm to others and their kind.
Being human and aware of it is truly a curse.
Damn. I really relate with all of your posts.
Ride the Tiger, prepare for the collapse and enjoy the show. When it's time to pick up the pieces, you make your mark.
as corny as it sounds, you have the be the change you want to see in the world.
Its easy to be jaded, and even easier to be a hypocrite.
Different things work for different people. Pride might keep you from faltering, religion may give you the strength to carry on, love or hate can give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Knowledge means endless chances to attempt to be a good person, and zero excuses for stooping as low as those around you.
>politics is about people
>get into politics
>begin hating people
really make you think
True. I just need to find a reason to live and die for. Because at it stands, I live for no one and living for myself would mean being a slave to sin.
How can pol organize in real life?
I think in the face of total anarchy I wouldn't fair too well on my own.
Usually when you're in a cult (sign of that being the sudden disconnection from your social circle, accompanied by ideological epiphany--an old routine) you have just changed who you spend time with and probably intensified the level of interaction, but an online cult has only the disconnection, not the actually new face to face social milieu of the cults of yore.
Ahem, I think you should find a meetup