Two female mormon missionaries are coming to my house next week

>two female mormon missionaries are coming to my house next week

How can I fuck them?

They are American, from Utah.

Become a Mormon and marry them. That's the only way with those psychos

>he fell for the mormon book meme
Dummy user.

>wanting to be married is psychotic

Just look interested in the pictures on their phones. It will likely be all church's. worked for me. First threesome I ever had.

Rape them?

>How can I fuck them?
Spike their drinks

benis in bagina :DDDDDDDDDD

I have already met them. I was on my way to the gym and they stopped me for a conversation. I BTFO'd their beliefs and they wanted my number, so I gave it to them.

>How can I fuck them?
You will have to marry them both first

If you want to be with a Mormon girl it's completely normal, they are beautiful, white, and pure. But do not taint them with your ridiculous fantasies of seduction and persuasion, they are not whores like filthy Baptists or Jehovah's Witnesses or Catholics. They are truly hypnotized by their faith.

You must penetrate the cult to penetrate the cunt.

As in you need to join, marry, and then partake.

Anything less than that would be a sin.

They are Latter day saints and no longer practice polygamy.

They were both rediculously friendly. I have never any people like that before.

>user wakes up in a ice bath with organs missing

Have fun bruv

I don't know about that. I was in Salt Lake city in 2007 and was surprised to meet some female Mormons at a bar because I was always told that Mormons don't drink. It was awkward as hell that they never shut up about their faith and had hundreds of photo's of mormon church's. booze helped. Took them both back to the hotel I was staying at and fucked them. Was actually impressed at how and what positions they wanted me to try.

>Having sex
Why are so many of you such animals?

>having difficulty fucking Mormon girls

Holy shit bro, it's like fucking fish in a barrel

That's why they're coming round OP, to fuck you.

That's how they hook you, they give you a free sample and say you get more of it if you convert. Did you think people actually join that shit because of 'muh christ'?

They won't stop calling around once you start, live by the motto 'once you bang it you keep getting pamphlets'

That's how they trap you, user, by sending out their most fertile women as recruiters

These two darlings will be returning to Utah mate.

Indeed, if you get them pregnant expect a shotgun wedding.

Be friendly but also confrontational about their beliefs. At the end of the conversation give hints that you may want to become a mormon

They will make it their mission to convert you and keep coming back

>implying a Mormon convert will get to fuck the qt fertile girls
Converts only get the overweight reject girls.

Mormons are good people

Don't be rude to them cuz you'll feel bad about it later. They'll stop if you want them to and won't hassle you about it. They just want people to hear the word but will stop on a dime if you want them to.

I used to see them walking around my campus and They would always say hello. If you stopped to tlak to them then they would tell u about the book of Mormon. If not, they would keep moving

What if you were never any religion to begin with?

Me: 1
You: fag

Get some silver plates and scratch some runes and shit into them. Show the plates to the women and say it says the Lord wants them to consummate His love with them in order to bring forth the first and second angels of the apocalypse.

don't.

I haven't been rude to them, actually very polite and sincere. I told them there's zero chance I'll be willing to go beyond deism. We will meet as friends. There's probably a lot stuff we will agree with, except the God stuff.

KEK

Good, glad to hear. You don't have to be Mormon, and I'm not, but they are cool people and uplifting

Convert one to deism and you have the perfect wife

Ask them about Kolob.

Missionary is the obvious position.

They're trying to convert you, tard.

Yes, I'm well aware of that. It won't happen and I have already made it clear that it won't.

He said he told them he wasn't converting "tard".

>fucking fish in a barrel

That sounds pretty hard tbf senpai. Do you get into the barrel with them? If so, you don't really have much room to manoeuvre.

Bro if I was in your situation I'd convert fuck it, marry them both. They're white right? I've noticed a lot of the mormons are white and blonde.