Can we have a

'Tumblr posts that never happened' thread?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=0JNsRzET8Zg
youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk
youtube.com/watch?v=SGZgvMwjq2U
youtube.com/watch?v=2bh8mO32-qo
youtu.be/Gjy_FKODsTM
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

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>6'8"
>400 pounds
Vince wilfork doesn't use tumblr though

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Jesus fuck this is my sister. She thinks she's unique and counter-culture because she likes listening to classic rock and she pretends people give her a hard time about it when literally no one gives a fuck

Is this a ylyl or a yryl I'm confused.

She probably wanted to give him a ride so he wouldn't have a heart attack walking home. He was probably already winded, bent over her car, and nearly hyperventilating. She felt forced to give the hamplanet a ride.

he's a big guy

Someday kids will act this way about the music coming out today.
Taylor Swift and beber will be labeled mom rock or something

I can believe this. There is no sport in killing someone who is suicidal.

My fucking sides

who the fuck kills somebody by cutting their wrists?

Do people actually believe this?

>Led Zeppelin
>classic rock

Holy shit that's one of the funniest things I've read in a while

you've never seen a nigger cross a street? it's literally a 10 minute walk for them, especially if there's traffic.

The first half of this story actually happened, until the girl probably realized the guy was trying to have lighthearted bants. The second half is a figment of her imagination

It's Tumblr, so both

Maybe she was just after some quality BBC?

Someone who recently saw drive?

if this was the real the nigger would have shot and killed ten people, raped the woman in front of her husband and then snorted crack/cocaine.

>you. To my office now
When did Gordon Ramsay start working in a music shop

>There will be a day in which listening to Kidz bop is considered rebellious
Will we see it in our life time?

>IT'S FUCKING ROOOOOCK

It's actually a very good tactic if you have a knife to attack the wrists, neck, or inner thigh in an attempt to hit a vein. Of course most knife attacks aren't calculated so you usually just get stabbed in the gut/chest/face.

BORN
IN
THE
WRONG
GENERATION

While this is true, what are the odds of her story being true?
What kind of criminal just grabs someone and pulls a knife out with the intention of murder? She wasn't even mugged? The only kind of person who would do that randomly is a fucking psycho, and someone that psychotic wouldn't stop and hug her because of a few cuts

youtube.com/watch?v=0JNsRzET8Zg

Kek

Does anyone have the one where the girl gives a homeless guy $20 and some "New York business man" says he should have to work for it, so everyone starts dancing?
That's the most retarded one I've ever seen

Kek

>A 6'8" black man on Tumblr
>Things that never happened

You little fuckin rascal you

THAT'S CREAM, I SAID I NEEDED QUEEN YOU FUCKING DONKEY.

YOU, YOU AND YOU, C'MERE [spoiler]FUCK OFF![/spoiler]

Thats how all the niggers used to walk at my school. I've seen paint dry faster than they walk to class. Really irritating because i normal walk pretty fast paced any where. And getting stuck behind gang of baboons like that makes me wanna throw kittens off a bridge

I love how this clearly made up anecdote is actually incredibly sexist when you think about it. "Oh my Gawd, Shoes!" Remember fellow Sup Forumsacks, whatever our problems we still hold women to a higher standard than the white knights who oppose us. Which is just sad.

For police

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>It's actually a very good tactic
Neck maybe but imagine how hard it would be to actually slice someones wrists in a knife attack.

You'd have to grab their arm with your free hand and slice with the knife in your other hand, then let go and repeat the process on the other side, all while the person is frantically struggling/fighting back/trying to get away

Hahaha. Oh wow.

>400 lbs
Probably figured the circle would die from the walk home

this seems autistic enough to be true, girls sperg out too

Songs today don't say anything, I doubt it'll happen.

A repeated beat with repeated lyrics designed to be just catchy enough but not too catchy was never music.

You can sum up all of modern music with this song:

youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk

Remember when they tried to say we did all this stuff?

The nerve of those people...

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>Thinking anyone on the chan dev team gave a shit that people from there Mongolian Cave painting forum posted gore on another site

It's a knife fighting tactic, desu. You can counter a stabbing attempt by angling the tip of your own knife at the wrist of your opponent.

When you are knife fighting, it's hard to just kill your opponent if they know what they are doing... So you need to play a long game of injuring them before you can attempt the coup de grace... Or simply let them bleed out from all of the smaller injuries.

The number one rule of knife fighting is that no one walks away in one piece. It's really a terrible way to fight.

That's a hot outfit though desu...

>Songs today don't say anything, I doubt it'll happen

You're not even being ironic, are you?

Now tell us about how you were born in the wrong generation

You just described all of music history.

Guess what music is all about? It's about patterns. And guess what patterns do?
THEY REPEAT

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I like how doge is like "Don't worry bud, I'll clean this up for you."

literally ageism: the post
proceeds to blame their own bigotry on fictional straw man

Hi /r/lewronggeneration xD

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is that in china? chinese doggo is already on that vomit before the guys even finished puking it up

>I live literally across the street
>Maybe a 5-10 minute walk

Typical slow nigger

>that never happened

nice collection. it saddens me that anyone anywhere, much less here, can discuss them as if they were real.

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100% pure autism

These people dont understand it was just clap-o'clock.

youtube.com/watch?v=SGZgvMwjq2U

>No, you're just being close minded
Mom: Its just a phase
>No mom I'm going to be ignorant and get my information on gender from a bunch of special snowflakes who look like the human representation of Jabba the Hutt forever

lmao

Why do so many Tumblr stories end with the entire wherever applauding?

youtube.com/watch?v=2bh8mO32-qo

wow isn't life beautiful guys!! this totally happened! every homophobic guy is secretly gay!

Because they happen in America

Out of everything that has never happened, this didn't happen the most

who said woman couldn't troll? amirite?

they say that imagination is healthy, but this is going overboard

*slowly starts to clap*

It's from the motovlogger M13 on youtube. It isn't puke, he was just shoving fast food in his helmet and it was spilling. The picture was taken in Taiwan and he lives there.

He's a pretty cool guy. He lost some fingers in an motorcycle accident like a year ago.

Kek I just watched that season. Fucking great, I love his bantz.

>via cringd channel
Indeed

Also the dog in the picture passed away :(

There was a more recent raid but everybody forgets about it.
Whereas independence day had like 20 people this one had 300 (since tumblr had placed limitations on posting due to raiding) and was confirmed for make most of tumblr asshurt, even leaked out onto youtube in some places.

inspiring

Isn't that what Americans usually do?

oh, sweet

RIP in peace doggo :(

Autistic, yet still plausible

Nigga looks like the scientists from Crash Bandicoot

some of these "people" should write fiction books, they might sell.

>all my rage

>Themaskednegro

Obviously fake.

youtu.be/Gjy_FKODsTM

Because everyone on tumblr thinks we live in an 80's teen movie

>implying
>AAAAAA IT BUUUURNS US IT BUUURNS US
>*tuk* *tuk* *tuk* Please stop this or you will be thrown out of courtroom

The only place that will kill is a completely severed carotid artery

They were clapping because of the good service, not because of some snowflake

Probably not. They basically tell a story that basically is just one strawman stringing into someone getting like accidentally grabbed a seatbelt buckle level of burned then say everyone clapped...

there are so fucking many of these things

really hated when this episode came up because seeing it in motion is much worse

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When was that?

i believe this

I've been browsing Sup Forums since 2007 and have read every made up story this shithole has to offer. These tumblr stories are so fabricated and straight up fantasy that they make some of the really weird shit here seem more believable.

What kind of delusional mindset do these people have to actually believe this shit really happened? No one is going to clap because you're a faggot.

underrated

Im currently visiting my senpai who lives outside DC and it doesnt cease to amaze me the amount of clapping Americans do even in this "diverse" area

that epidemic of wrist slashing criminals sure is a problem