Yes, yes... well done Slytherin well done... HOWEVER

>Yes, yes... well done Slytherin well done... HOWEVER...

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You mirin these numbers

Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, HOWEVER, despite your best efforts, you are just unfortunate participants in the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

nobody reply to this. reply to me instead. say what you were going to say to this dude, but say it to me so that he still gets the people calling him a fag but he gets no (you)s.

Anyone ever notice Dumbledore looks different from the third movie onwards? He even sounds different! Odd.

why didnt harry just learn a spell to fix his eyesight?

yeah that is weird, maybe he started working out

*the original dumbledore actors doctor is doing a checkup on him*
"yes yes, we see you have starred in a hit movie, yes your career seems very promising, you should be very happy.... HOWEVER...."

Okay then

>ayn rand not shit tiet

spot the ancap faggot

Stale meme

yeah harry potter is tumblr shit

dumb niggers, read

you have autism

Dumbledore has been transgender ever since his adolescence. He developed different features and qualities over time from his former (natural) biology when he was a male.

How different would the story be if Snape was gay for Harry's dad instead of Lily?

Only now have I noticed Charlotte's Web in Mid-tier

Too soon, man.

Sigh. Why do people always drag out that stereotype? It's like, oh, you're Slytherin? Well, then you're EVIL EVIL EVIL. Look on Pottermore! Slytherin qualities include loyalty, determination, ambition (dictionary definition: having strong belief in making your goals and dreams happen), cleverness, and being able to think on your feet. Slytherins are nice people! Don't judge!

Every time you have the nerve-- the audacity to insult a house, my house, based on fucking stereotypes, well then you insult ME. And all of us slytherins. I do NOT deny the fact that Slytherin house had a connection to the Dark Arts OR Voldemort. But most death eaters were just stupid parents who indoctrinated their children with stupid, purist beliefs and who FORCED them to become death eaters. You do not even know all the background Slytherin characters so stop saying that ALL of us are death eaters. I don't like this post all that much either, okay? The Dobby thing and the purist remarks were horrible. But don't judge someone if you don't know SHIT about them. 'Death Eaters. All of you." lol dumbass joke, truly. We had Merlin, too, by the way. He wasn't evil. He was the greatest Wizard known. Think before spreading your negativity and hate on social media.

You joke about that, but some Tumblrites insist that this was actually the case.

what's the joke here. Dumbledore was completely in the right

>hey slytherin good job on being good students

>but some gryffindors managed to stop Wizard Hitler from coming back to life so they win

>good effort, better luck next year. i'm sure this was probably a one time thing

>rigging the system against slytherin
>giving them false hope that they won (they did, in a fair world)
>taunting them as he pulls the rug out from under them

what the fuck was dumbledore's beef with these small children

FUCK YOU DUMBLEDICK

>>hey slytherin good job on being good students
Don't forget that Snape was ridiculously biased towards them, too.

Oh for fuck's sake

besides crabbe goyle and maybe malfoy, slytherins aren't portrayed as stupid, so I imagine even w/o snape being biased they'd do pretty well

youtube.com/watch?v=GA0mqYkowks

You want to hear their "logic" for it?
Well since James is largely represented as a Stag, and Snape's patronus is a doe, this obviously means that it represents a feminine version of James that Snape wants to fuck.

Tumblr; Not even fucking once.

DELET THIS

Why do those people want to see homosexual stuff in everything? I'll never understand it.
It's not like the average male looks at two female characters in popular fiction and make up entire scenarios where they're scissoring.

I unironically love those comics a lot

Females think differently than males, who knows what silly things they think about all day lel.

>It's not like the average male looks at two female characters in popular fiction and make up entire scenarios where they're scissoring.

speak for yourself buddy

The implication is that they genuinely don't grasp platonic relationships.
And that's pretty depressing to think about

The whole "all Slytherins are evil" is blown way out of proportion. It's only an 11-year-old Ron saying to Harry that they all go bad, and he heard that from Fred/George. And locking them in the dungeons during the Battle of Hogwarts was only in the films.
There's plenty of good wizards from Slytherin house, including Slughorn and a number of random wizards from the chocolate frog cards.

>all these triggered reddittors
Keep up god's work user

>The whole "all Slytherins are evil" is blown way out of proportion.
Not really.
It literally took 6 years for them to acknowledge a Slytherin that wasn't an outright asshole, and even he was a nepotistic manipulator.

The problem lies with Rowling chickening out on making student Slytherins who weren't dicks

I just checked those digits

>trusting Harry with delicate magic

Human transformation was difficult, so he'd probably magic his eyes into tomatoes or something

When people ask me what I thought of Cursed Child, I tell them "better fanfiction than most, but an insult as an official continuation."

Nothing against slytherin... but when I go to school, I'd rather be in the house that literally is about being intelligent/mentally gifted and valuing wit and knowledge.

I mean, I'd go out and smoke magic weed with Hufflepuff and all that whenever I like, but arguing with other houses over which is best seems kinda weak when there is literally and advanced placement house

>inb4 hermione wasn't in ravenclaw
Of the legitimately intelligent Gryffindors who talked about their sorting (Minerva and Hermione) both were almost put in Ravenclaw, and it was their own preference that shifted it.

I think that might be it, they simply can't understand that two males can be friends without secretly wanting to fuck each other.
At uni there were a couple tumblr-girls who were into HP and Supernatural shipping stuff and they even started shipping me and my mates, going as far as to give us those "shipnames" or whatever where they combine both first names. It was unnerving.

But it was established that your Patronus can change to reflect the person you love, not change into the opposite sex of the animal of the person you lov--- oh fuck it what's the use with these people

Hogwarts starts on September 1st so there's going to be a bunch of kids trying to throw themselves at a brick wall in Kings Cross in the morning.

Snape loved a Femmy version of James

>you, yes, you
>tread lightly
Fuck I wish I still had that pasta

Always fun to watch. I went there once and you can get your picture taken and there's a shop next door that sells shit for extortionate rates. It's more fun to go to the actual station it was filmed though (forgot the name). King's Cross looks nothing like the wall in the films.

"Lesbian" has been one of the most searched words on porn sites for years
Women just see sex as more emotional than how men see it as more physical so that leads to more fanart and fan fiction of characters they're familiar with as a sexual outlet

>Atlas Shrugged god tier
>To Kill a Mockingbird shit tier

bravo

Oh, must be me then, I've never cared for lesbian stuff. I need to be able to self-insert as the male in porn.

Yeah, Lily.

Ignore it. Tequila Mockingbird is one the best books I've read in recent years.

based user

Harry complains about his standard magic homework. He's not gonna spend any time doing independent research. That's what Hermione's for.

>snake was a cuck before being a cuck was cool
JK Rowling was really ahead of her time

It's because Hermione doesn't value knowledge for its own sake. She values showing off what she knows. That's a Gryffindor trait.
Nerdbirds don't care what other people think about them as long as they know they're right.

why didn't JK Rowling learn how to write books before writing ten of them? Some questions will never be answered.

>Why do those people want to see homosexual stuff in everything?
Literal propaganda

>there's never going to be a harry potter RPG
>there's never going to be a harry potter cartoon/animation coherently expanding the world
>there's never going to be non-fanfiction stories again
as a former harry potter fanatic and current admirer it makes me sad.

I want HOWEVERposting to be here every day

The problem is that Harry Potter is a poor world to begin with. It's just the normal world with wizards stuck in their mansions and few public and work spaces. The village near Hogwarts was the biggest wizzarding community in Britain and was still a shithole.

Make me, I don't give a fuck.

I guess you're right, but there are interesting things to explore. The fantastic animals movie kinda went the right direction, showing other countries and magical cultures, though I still feel hogwarts still has the most potential, even after being explored for 7 books in a row

I wish we had a GoT situation with HP where the movies had gone past the books and had to come up with their own ending, because it would have almost certainly been better than what we got.

Like what? What mystery is left in Britain? Remember how in the first book they had pictures of Merlin and Morgana in the frog cards? Not even the time of king arthur is a mystery to them; how was the world before wands? Were there wizardings civilizations? None of that is addressed or even hinted at in the books. Olivanders shop has been there since 300 b.c, how does that even make sense when the romans invaded Gaul about 0? It's like she just thought of thing and gave no mind for their background.

I'd like to know more about that background too. Could be interesting if written by a capable author, i.e. not JKR

Someone with an ego like Rowling will never allow other people to write in her franchise. The Cursed Child was a theater piece and the book had to get her name on it even thought she just signed her approval. Also, the writing in CC is even worse than Rowling's.

I think that the ending we got was pretty great, considering how the books are meant to be for kids. When watching all the movies for the first time, I did think that it would've been nice if Harry died in the end. Like he sacrificed himself because he was the last horcrux. He died and took the most powerful dark wizard of all time with him. Statues would be erected in his memory, Hogwarts would be renamed et cetera et cetera.

But then I realized it was a children's story. And they are supposed to have happy endings.