The Wheel of Time

Looks like The Wheel of Time is being made into a series by Sony. Try to contain your excitement levels -- it's really happening!
youtube.com/watch?v=hUQE0-G_GeU

They also made the Emoji movie user. Do you really want the same people who approved the Emoji movie to have final say on this adaptation? Is that really something to be excited about?

I... I can b-be excited about anything I want, user

Selucia boobs.

Sony Pictures is a cancer

What does "full breasts" mean? 36KK?

Given how perverted Jordan went, I'd hope so. Most women seemed to be decently busty, and a select few even more so.

I hope the scranc look good

Who was the tittest? I haven't read this junk in a while but I seem to remember Lanfear's replacement body being pretty bimbo-ey.

>Sony

>tfw no thicc forsaken gf

Selucia, or the older inkeeper from Altara. Lanfear's were big, but even bigger later on after something happens. Also Berelain is described much the same.

The innkeeper is the lady who was burned out former Aes Sedai? Or was it the one who humiliated Siuan?

Setalle Anan

Based Wheel of Titties expert

That wolfbrother guy who lost touch with reality and just lived as a wolf in the dream world, was he the WoT version of a NEET?

Reading the second book at the moment, and accidentally read from the wiki who is one of the Black Ajahs.

Fucking hell user

-LEAKED SCRIPT-
SONY's (TM) Wheel of Time
Season 1, Ep. 19

Seanchan: Artur Ackbar, we shall righteously slay all of you oath-breakers and claim the lands of our forefathers.

Perrin: We must stop them from reaching the shores. Aes Sedai, I suggest building a wall to keep them out.

Egwene: *gasp* How could you, Perrin? They're people just like you and me! We should be more welcoming to these migrants. If we treat all of them according to the actions of a few, we'd be bigots! #LoveTrumpsHate #LetThemIn #SeanchanLivesMatter

Nynaeve: *tugs braid furiously* Light burn you, woolhead, I'll box you around the ears.

Perrin: *nods respectfully towards her*

>second book
Darkfriend Social is underrated

>#
Is this pronounced octothorpe, pound, or hash?

Either the adaptation is terrible like Legend of the Seeker and forgotten within a month, or it's hugely popular like GoT despite cutting out 99% of the magic and we have to deal with tv only secondaries posting shit on the internet like they know anything.

If the latter happens, expect all conventions to be flooded with enough Aes Sedai to make Suicide Squad Harley and Spider-Gwen look unpopular in comparison.

Seleucia, Tuon's handmaide/servant/adviser
and then that innkeeper in Ebour Dar I guess
and then some girl working at the same inn
Mat had tough times in Ebou Dar

at least 3 forsaken were somewhat well-plotted, Graendal, Lanfear (who gets better with resurrection into a new body) and Halima (former male put as a joke into a voluptuous female body)

the main cast should probably be about average, so if all things go right we get the right amount of waifukino

...

>Sony

>Sony

>Try to contain your excitement levels

Not hard when you wrote 'by Sony'

Who will Idris Elba play, and just how diverse will this be ? Rand will be black of course, Nynaeve will be Asian...

I just hope the sranc don't look too fake

>asian actor replacing a white one
kek

NEET furry

...

giv aes sedai gf

whyyyyyy

>sony
The same people that did ghostbusters, right? I can already envision.

>ywn marry an Aes Sedai wife in the Sea Folk fashion so you know for a fact that she has to obey
>ywn take commands in public but give them in private

Selucia.

She's always described as having ridiculously huge tits, it's the first thing everybody notices about her, and about 90% of the female characters get visible breast envy on meeting her. The other 10% are just better at hiding it.

Setalle Anan is a former Aes Sedai, implied to have been one who used to study ter'angreal before she was burned out by accident. Possibly. It might also have been the Black Ajah who stopped her from investigating for some reason.

>accidentally

DED

I just skimmed through the video. Where is Rand?

nigger that video is like 2 years old

halima and dashiva are comedy gold

>Try to contain your excitement levels
Oh jeez.
I'll try my best.

I read like 5-6 books in the series before giving up and I swear to god I can't remember almost anything from that pile of horsecrap.

lucky

lol same, except i remember reading like 9 books before i gave up. robert jordan makes grrm look like a little babby when it comes to procrastination

I want to spank Rand

Long time no see

He wasn't procrastinating, he was busy literally dying.

It gets boring in the middle but the first few and the last books are good.
Sanderson>Jordan

I mostly just remember all the barely hidden fetish stuff.

>Sony

>ywn see a live action version of the Battle of Dumai's Wells live up to your imagination

I just want to watch the Asha'man turn an army of Aiel into hamburger.

oof

>Asha'trans, kill

>Sony

>Sony

just because its Sony doesnt mean it has to be a total fuckup

there has to be some kind of small hope

;_;

It's not meant to be awesome, though. Well, it is, but it's cast as a horrifying meat grinder that has most of Rand's forces throwing up in disgust, and Perrin still gets sick to his stomach thinking about it five books later.

Rand beating the shit out of the Seanchan with five thousand men + four Asha'man against their 50k+ and over a dozen damane though? That was awesome.

It's not like the source material is any good anyway

I love how much cleaner yet gorier RJ is in his books than GRRM. Like the characters can only curse by saying light or bloody ashes, but then you have entire families being cooked alive or having their soles ripped out to make evil weapons, and then people basically misted in magic blenders. Then you have characters embarrassed to look at big boobies for too long the next page over.

Braid tugging intesifies.

I hear the trollocs look really fake

>Darlin dismounted before a tremendous tent, the largest Min had ever seen, larger than any she had ever imagined, a great red-striped oval, shining in the sunlight like silk, with no fewer than four high conical peaks, each with the Rising Sun of Cairhien stirring above in a lazy breeze, gold on blue. The strumming of harps drifted out amid the murmur of voices, like the sounds of geese. As servants took away the horses, Darlin offered his arm to Caraline. After a very long pause, she laid her fingers lightly on his wrist with no expression whatsoever, letting him escort her inside.
>“My Lady wife?” Rand murmured with a smile, extending his arm.
>Min sniffed and put her hand atop his. She would rather have hit him.
I don't care what /lit/ thinks, I enjoy the prose in this series as well as the characterisation and worldbuilding

Read through all the lines he writes for the character of Uno, who curses with "flaming", and replace every instance of that word with "fucking" instead.

I think your taste is bad and you should feel bad

t. not from /lit/

>blood and ashes and bloody buttered onions
what did he mean by this

>He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.
>The visible signs of postsatisfaction?
>A silent contemplation: a tentative velation: a gradual abasement: a solicitous aversion: a proximate erection.
I'm sure you think this is great writing, don't you?

I want their to be a Fellowship of the Rings sense of wonder at all the places they travel to.

GoT characters aren't impressed by anything because they're all rich nobles and they won't let themselves act that way, so it affects the way things are shot. I want to be wowed by Shadar Logoth, feel how much more crowded Baerlon is versus the Two Rivers despite just being a mountain hick lumber town.

>when they all go dancing in the first book and the Two Rivers kids keep dropping their spaghetti when Moiraine joins them

is that the latest Goodkind manuscript?

>I want their to be a Fellowship of the Rings sense of wonder at all the places they travel to.
Shouldn't be hard since the whole opening is a Fellowship rip off

How is that wheel supposed to turn? Won't the snake break the spokes? If it goes round and round with the wheel won't the snake get dizzy and throw up its tail?

I always thought setting up the first third of The Eye of the World as a mirror of The Fellowship of the Ring was mildly brilliant given the "Wheel of Time" conceit. Implying that Tolkien's tale is a legend distorted by time, but this is what REALLY happened.

The whole ta'veren thing was a nice hack too, more writers should be original in their quest to be lazy. Rigney is the top hack of all hacks.

>Implying that Tolkien's tale is a legend distorted by time, but this is what REALLY happened.
I threw up in my mouth a little at the idea that Tolkien's tale is the imperfect reflection of Jordan's hackery

>here's a plot concept that literally allows the main three characters to be unkillable and skilled

And I liked how familiar Eye of the World feels. You can draw all of the parallels to FotR easily, like Two Rivers being the Shire, Baerlon being Bree, Caemlyn being Rivendell, Shienar being Lothlorien, but Shadar Logoth itself is best part. Maybe it's the Weathertop stand in, but it does so much more to give depth and history.

The last part I read in this series was when Rand and Mat are at this ruined Aiel city and they're going through all kinds of hallucinations. Rand sees the Dark One's prison being broken I think. Does anyone know which book that's in?

Did... did you not understand the gist of the story? It's also the tale of Arthur, Dune, our world, etc... Wow, man. Seems like a lot of this went over your head

Book four I think.

I understood it. It's thrown at you right in the prologue. It's still really insultingly bad.

I don't think you did understand it. Are you a Mason?

I'm willing to admit I don't understand the Mason meme but no I get that there's an eternal recurrence thing going on with the Wheel of Time and all of htis has happened before and will happen again in slightly different ways because the wheel weaves as the wheel wills an age long past an age yet to come blah blah blah

I don't care that he shallowly justified how derivative it all is and the fact that his main characters are mary sues has an in-setting name and everything. I still hated that.

>Min sniffed

Are you really a Dad?

>using an old trailer that was made with no heart

Non-masonic piece of bitch.

Who's the best girl?

Book four, chapters 24-26 or so.

Min. No contest.

Tylin, Aviendha, Berelain, Lanfear

Aviendha's children

Egeanin with Aludra a close second

Nynaeve, honourable mention to Moiraine because being offstage for eight books gives her less time to shine.

Of the three main girls, Min or Avi, then Elayne in distant third. I was re-reading Fires of Heaven a little while back, actually, and couldn't help but notice how everybody comments on different facets of Aviendha over the course of the book:

>really tall
>legs for days
>soft skin over hard muscle, makes Rand sweat all the time
>large breasts
>good ass, likes showing it off to Rand
>apparently shaves down there
>hips "built for making babies" (direct quote there)
>vibrant red hair
>"deep" green eyes, Rand sometimes gets lost looking in them

>book 10
>spend 4 chapters describing every tiny detail of over 20 women no one gives a shit about

i can't finish this shit

I remember that the Aiel were really sworn to never commit violence but they just used spears to get around a ban on swords or something while only a far smaller group of Leafs actually stayed pacifist. Rand got Excalibur and got more OP, the Red Ajah planned some purge, anything else I should remember or should I just resume from there?

pic related from forsaken
obviously Nynaeve from the rest

Book 10 you can probably skip, but it's not bad for seeing every channeler in the world shit a solid brick at the cleansing.

Sounds like you can probably resume from there.

Aviendha is like his wife built for sex, Min is his normal everyday wife, and Elayne is his wife for important occasions of state.

Hang on, after book 10 only one more book to get to the good stuff again.

>the Red Ajah planned some purge
Was there ever a more useless group of women in any fantasy series ever? Single handedly responsible for fucking up the entire White Tower, and White Tower plotline, for over two thirds of the series.