Have you sent your children to Hogwarts yet?

Have you sent your children to Hogwarts yet?

No!

I am not paying to have some crackpot old fool teach my children magic tricks!
Seriously though, how much money does it cost to send your child to a boarding school for seven years where they have 5 star accommodation and Michelin level food every day?

Why wouldn't I send my children to enjoy one of the most interesting franchises in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight different villains has been clearly distinguishable from the others. As well as the the magic imagery, the series’ main consistency has been its success in bringing excitement and good use of special effects, all to make magic appealing, to make action seem to bounce off the screen.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling was adamant that the series would be made in the UK and use British actors only; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for an Americanized shitty Hollywood version that meant nothing to anybody. Just ridiculously profitable and great accompaniments to her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of rehashed story lines, boring gadgets and repetitive car chases. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were shit though
"No!"

The writing is good for a children's/adolescent series; the book was a compelling read. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author had an actual plan to progress the plot.
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time the plot was advanced by the actions of the main characters. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by telling her overarching plot throughout the seven novels that her style of writing grew with the books. Later I read a spiteful review of Harry Potter by some Stephen King. He wrote something like, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read my garbage books." And he was quite wrong. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, cultivating good taste in literature.

Why have I never seen a positive version of that pasta before?

>good taste in literature
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling created a world so bland that it managed to resonate with every bland girl and boy across the world who equated "escapism" as "what if, magic?".

Say what you want but it's undeniable that Rowling's work has caused an entire generation of children to read when at first they were disillusioned by books.
Some of those children stopped at HP, but a lot of them went on to read other things, eventually getting into classic literature.
Harry Potter isn't pure literature but it was a good gateway for people to get into the medium of books.

It doesn't cost anything.. Or, I'm assuming it doesn't. It's a magical school. There is no electricity and all of the plumbing is controlled by magic.

Who's that qtpie in the bottom left

Amazing

There was a line somewhere in the books where Dumbledore mentioned that Hogwarts has a special money programme for students with no money to enroll. It's how Tom Riddle got into Hogwarts.

Also you have a point, the house elves work for free and they cook everything, clean the rooms, wash the bedsheets etc. But I assume the teachers would want some money.

>Rowling's work has caused an entire generation of children to read when at first they were disillusioned by books.
That does describe me because I had no interest in books at all until I gave Harry Potter a try, and now I'm studying Classical Literature at uni.

In uk good boarding schools range from 20k a year upwards.

You can get to be a cool guy, a huge nerd, a racist, or this asshole named Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff are the assembly line worker of the magic world.

People underestimate Hufflepuff, they seem like the coolest house. They're loyal, they're just and they're hard workers.
Courage, ambition and intelligence is all great, but those qualities breed arrogance and superiority complexes. Hufflepuffs are more likely to have great social circles full of loyal, good friends, and whatever job they decide to pursue you know they'll work hard at it and never take it for granted.
I know which house I'd want to be in.

*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...
But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.
And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.
See you on the boards...

Thanks, sensei. I know I have much to learn still. It will need some adjustments but I just wanted to make an alternative version of the copypasta before the original got posted. Speaking of which, they're taking their sweet time posting it

>20k a year upwards.
Fucking hell, why do parents even do that? Does it really affect your career options that much if you have a boarding school on your cv?
And if those parents have that kind of money lying around they're loaded anyway so their children don't even have to worry about a job.

>people equating reading Harry Potter books as comparable to reading a work of literature.

I think it's a bad gateway, it teaches kids to not try harder in life and find something that will challenge them.

but I assume you wouldn't admit to this in public, you'd be a laughing stock. Sure you have to start somewhere but at least you realize deep down that Harry Potter has absolutely no place in the western canon.

Of course I would send my children to a school in one of the most fantastic franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been an extremely unique adventure. In addition to the gloomy imagery, some of the series’ consistencies have been its plethora of excitement and effective use of special effects, all to make magic wonderful, to make action seem intense.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a piece of excrement that meant nothing to everybody, resulting in ridiculously successful cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of plainness, ugliness and boredom. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the movies were bad though
"No!"
The directing is stellar; the movie was amazing. As I watched, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, showing the wonderfully described and created scenery was a priority.

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase happened. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so unhindered by cliches and dead metaphors that she could excel at any type of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

based
not based

If I ever had children they wouldn't deserve the punishment in form of being sent to a school which is part of the the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Oh man! Here it comes!
The fucking deluge. Contrarian hipster faglords posting about how much it sucks. Conformist normie pieces of shit posting about how great it is. Trolls, waifufags, and newfriends doing God knows what.
You know what I miss? The good old days.
Days when a Memesman was free to make an honest day's meme on this board.
Days when there was a difference between trolling and shitposting (back when trolling was an art ;)).
Days when you could hop on the Sup Forums, click on your favorite board, and be treated to a veritable orgy of dank new memes, thrusting in and out of each other, slurping down each others liquids, furiously jamming their memenises into their memeginas and memeholes, not bothering to discriminate between male or female (it was the 21st century, after all)!
You could sit there and let your eyes take in this gallant fuckfest, you could almost here the wet, slippery sounds of meme flesh pounding against itself. It was enough to make you pull your pants down, lube up your dildo, and bounce up and down on it as you jacked yourself to orgasm.
One day we'll get back there. One day...

>Rowling's work has caused an entire generation of children to read
Just because she got kids to read, doesn't mean they are truly "literate," much in the same way that just because someone's into classical music, if they're just enjoying it for the "catchy tunes," they obviously aren't truly listening to it. Harold Bloom is correct. They aren't truly reading, they're just looking at words and imagining a bad fantasy movie in their heads.

I went to private school, my education was top notch, but the same shit happens in the private schools too.
I got great grades, that matters. Some places, sure it looks good. Mostly private school, if you pay attention that is (the risk, a lot of kids revert to the sloth of a life as if they hadn't been there in trades for being popular and shit.) it teaches you how to dress better, act better, present yourself better, respect authority, be independant. A state school will never touch these subjects.
No I don't have a job because I have crippling health issues but in answer to your question.
Parents do it in the off-chance that their kid can get a headstart and continue sucess in the family. A lot of parents fail at giving these kids 0 freedom to choose how they want to live however and then they become transfixed by whoring themselves off.

Bad or not, it is a gateway. Kids generally had no interest in books at all, but Harry Potter got them into the hobby. Obviously it's not comparable to actual literature but you have to start somewhere. Once they finished Harry Potter, a lot of them went out to look for other books, finally knowing that reading a book is a good thing to do.

>but I assume you wouldn't admit to this in public, you'd be a laughing stock. Sure you have to start somewhere but at least you realize deep down that Harry Potter has absolutely no place in the western canon.
It was the first book series I followed, no shame in that. Not many 8-year-olds started with Proust. Again, it's not literature, but it did make me realize that reading is fun, and it eventually lead me to read for other reasons.

"No!"

Of course not. My point is that children generally didn't read, and dismissed the idea of reading books entirely. At least they started reading with Harry Potter. After that they either stopped, or like me they developed an interest in the written word and started delving deeper into actual literature.

What classes would Hogwarts have in the year 2017?

>back to Hogwarts Day
September 1st is just the day schools go back in the UK

go back to /po/

I always wondered about that when reading the books because they always start school on September 1st and somehow each year that falls on a monday.
Do UK school always start on September 1st, even if it's on a Thursday? Where I come from we start on the first Monday of September.

The same classes they've always had. Hogwarts strikes me as a school very much set in its traditions and it wouldn't surprise me if all the classes we read about have been there since its foundation, except for Divination which I think Dumbledore wanted to drop from the curriculum until Trelawney convinced him otherwise with the prophecy

As for your picture I don't see a problem with that. It's good to teach children about stuff like that so they're prepared when seeing it in real life. Not to mention all those closet homosexual teenagers who kill themselves out of shame, which could've been prevented if they were taught about it at a young age.

>House elfs work for free
Confirmed that Dobby is a janitor

Bill Burr

He's the only one that gets paid actually.
I've always wanted the books to go deeper into the origins of house elves. Hermione's campaigning got a bit annoying sometimes but you do have to wonder how the entire wizard community is fine with unpaid slave labour, even the "good guys" like Dumbledore.

And why is it so expensive to get one if you don't have to pay them anything?

>Fucking hell, why do parents even do that?

>Tfw go to one of the worst schools in the country
>Still end up in better job than people who went to private school
>tfw saved my parents 20k a year

>it teaches you how to dress better, act better, present yourself better, respect authority, be independant.
Huh I never knew that, interesting. I definitely didn't get any of that during my school years

In the end it's all about your own drive to study and get a good job. Expensive schools don't really mean much in the end if you're not pulling your weight

I could get used to this one.

>Have you sent your children to Hogwarts yet?
If I ever have children I'm going to get them into Harry Potter from a very young age and treat it like it's real and make them believe in Hogwarts, like the sort of white lie you tell about Santa Claus.
Then when they're about 11, I'll make a Hogwarts invitation letter and plant it on the doormat for them to find. I'd play along with their excitement to keep the fantasy real. I'll go online and order a small cauldron, some robes and books, everything.
Then on the first of September I'll drive them to King's Cross and encourage them to run at the wall at full speed, filming everything like it's a proud parent documenting a huge moment of his children's life. And then they'd crash into the wall at full speed, all caught on camera.
It's a long game, a practical joke spanning eleven years just to get to that moment. But it will be worth it.

I only now noticed that you reversed the books in the tier list, good work user