Sup Forums I am here to give you some insight on my prison experience

>be me
>two years locked up
>the fear of the unknown
>hear all the bad shit that may happen
>shitty time, but you manage
>politics are big in prison
>to take showers in prison with other men
>start dick gauging
>finally hit the unit you do most of your time at
>click up with your crew (not gang)
>Idiots everywhere in every race, more in the dindunuffins
>Whites and Mexicans get along
>Blacks are big in numbers and are the most racist (very true)
>tattooing and DICK piercing is a actual thing in prison
>Blacks do not all have big shalongs
>you either have a shower or a grower
>do my time and get out

Ask me anything

>be me
Stopped here.

Were you already obsessed with dicks before going to jail?

well actually, don't be me and get your as locked up

you can't notice them

Hell, the way it is set up, there is an officer over locking three wings and the restrooms facing the operating center

what do guys do when a female officer is doing night shift. Go an shower an jackoff to her, depending on who the officer is, she'll let you. I didnt do that chit

Rofl 50% of your prison experience was you noticing dicks?

Didnt need to check flag to see OP was American

Your sentence makes no sense ?

Did you or did you NOT wank off to some broad in the shower ?

What crime were you convicted of?

The biggest piece was from a 6'3" literally retarded black dude named Sonny

I befriended a white supremacist, and he would tell Sonny to show him his piece and to see how big it would get when hard. Sonny actually showed him, fucking hilarious.

TIL that american felons are all literal faggots. They must be all /fit/ too.

OP?

Jacked up on coffee right now.

No, at night when we where all locked down, the female officer would choose who would mop/clean the wing. After that, the inmate could take a shower if he wanted to. An well, thats where the show would go on for her if she permit it.

Also shift change at night would occur when we where still out in the wing, watching tv or playing dominos. If a female officer would show up before we had to be locked down, the Dindunuffins would power walk to the shower before we got locked down for the night

What did you do and why didn't you just leave the country

I fought more out here single/bar fights. No bullshit about 35-40 fights. In prison its different, you aren't under the infulence of anything, and well most dudes work out. So that being said, all the valor when you are drunk is out the window, its the real you when you fight. I fought a handful of times while locked up, its hard as shit to knock them dude down when he is fit.

Drugs, I have known dudes that have left the country and after so many years they try to sneak back in, then get busted. It would of been the same shit.

Also immigrants get it worst, from a citizen and a immigrant get the charge, sentence, and all. Lets say a 5 piece (yrs) the citizen will do 2-3 yrs, immigrant damn near the whole 5 THEN you get sent to the border ...$$$

I heard In prison some people cut slits in their dicks then slide plastic in then let it heal over so they have a bump on their dick that'll somehow make sex better

There's a lot of really weird penis augmentation in jail

7 yr sentence , controlled substance

did 2, came out on 5 yr parole

>Hahahha gays are gross
>There was one gross gay, I totally sucked his dick as a joke
>All the time
>Because it was joke
>So I was laughing like every day, because I just sucked on that cock all day long
>But gays are gross for sure
>Also, let me tell you about the prison food - The guy working in the kitchen had the nicest, biggest cock. I sucked on that one too. But just for food.

YES!

Pieces of dominos, one guy I remember had fucking 4 pieces. They are located at the top part where it would hit the womens G spot. Guys show them off, all that "gay," shit is out the window, unless you are really gay. Guys actually fight over punks (acutal gay guys) that show up on the unit, and a PLUS if those punks have breast implants, no lie

Did you see/hear a lot of rape?
How were you protected and who did you make friends with?

Wtf did you go to jail faggot? San Francisco?

Kill yourself you degenerate filth

You can pass your time on how you like, but gay games as poking each others butt's can go pretty far.

One dude took it as far to where when they popped the doors open for breakfast, he went an put his cock in his friends face to wake him up. Its Supermacy more then just being gay, its out doing your opponent in the most gayest shit ever.

OP you sound like a fucking faggot.

KYS.

Na, not at all, but alot of inmates wanted to see the older guys paper work to see if they where child molesters. The punks that did show up on the unit where fair game to the guys (undercover punks) that wanted male butthole

With my hometown (city) runarounds

When in prison all you have to do is manage not to be a dick. Especially considering how most people there are on non-violent drug offenses.

If you ever fall in prison, lose that mouth boy

What kind of guys get bullied the most?

Don't fall into an American Prison

No, actually it was a mix, i will mention that the murders are the most that are emotional cry bullies

The ones that if you picked on the first time, and you DO NOT STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Then others see and want a turn at you

Literally what is this sentence

How does one go about living in prison without having to commit a crime? I want that prison experience, can i pay the prison for some prison time?

Couldn't stress it enough. If you are in a click, it is your OBLIGATION that if anyone tests you, you put yourself out there (fighting). Your click will not let no one jump in, You lose, o well you still got out there. Others see an they know if they mess with you; you come with a FIGHT. If you role solo, people will test you, when you hold your ground you get respect.

Did you have sex?

>click,
clique?

>can i pay the prison for some prison time?

Just come to america and pull a knife on someone.

Make sure they call the cops.

You'll do about 3 months in county.

This is about all the prison anyone ever needs.

I see. Thanks for explaining

I assume

You sound stupid desu. Not surprised you got caught

Met a ton of hobos, and guys that didnt want the stress of paying bills an such out here.

3 meals a day, laundry service weekly (or you can do that while showering), roof over your head, gated community, all expenses paid vacation practically.

Click, group of peeps

Same experience when I went to prison, except all the way dick shit OP is talking about. Mexicans were cool with whites and nigs gonna nig

can you post any proof this is for real?

Hey thats pretty good

Far from it little buddy, Chip on your shoulder growing up isnt good. My arrest record isnt so pretty, i paid 45k for getting it reduced to 7 yrs

Why do you guys think prison time is something remarkable to be boasted about?

This board is full, literally full, of losers.

Hah, dodged my question.

I was at TDCJ, I was Blasting out of Dallas

147***7 was my number, i have my prison id at home

you sure you didnt do time in county?

I don't think prison time is being boasted about. OP actually warns you not to make mistakes similar to his own. Besides, prison is something the large majority of sheltered NEETs will never experience so it is remarkable to us :)

No, but a guy out of houston banged a nurse an she got fired an he got moved.

Another guy had an officer sneak packs of tabacco in through her va jay jay. DUDE SHE WAS UUUUUGLY

I ate little balloons during visiting hour that my visitor would put in my chip bag. It contained a 100 bill, with that i made that bill into 500, 400 profit, food mostly.

What are your Internet privileges? Is there like a library computer lab?

Do people play musical instruments in prison? Violins guitar saxophones?

Do you have a system of currency or something of that sort? Cigarettes? What could the currency be exchange for?

FUCK NO, FUCK PRISON, i had to many chances NOT to go, but i was hard headed and felt unstoppable. i was making 6 figures out here and in my early 20's, i counted 14 girls that i could all a whim an none of that "you arent givng me to much time to get ready," type of mess.

The worse of the worst is that....your family does the time with you.

in the state i was at they didnt have those type of accommodations.

They had "college," courses, but who would want to pride themselves with a degree in prison?

ALso i noticed when having to take a class to get out (rethinking type of course to better yourself) that every fking guy was a class clown. I thought GREAT this is where we all fking land if we get caught

if we get money in, it goes to the correction officers for packs, weed, cell phones. When i was in there, a p.o.s cell phone would cost you 500

I'll kick your ass faggot, shut up.

Bitch please, my street record speaks for itself, good luck Mfer HAHAHAHA

Aren't the college courses free? I sometimes wonder if a minimum security prison would have been a better educational choice than student loans.

you honestly sound retarded and you were only in prison for 2 years, so you had a minor offense.

probably stole an iPad or something and think you're a hardcore criminal when in reality you're just a little faggot

Yes, but the thing is you could sign up to go to said unit that had say a course you wanted to take. The thing is if you had more then XX amount of yrs to do. So if you had a 15-20 piece then yes they'll ship you to that unit in your time.

Two first degree felonies, with two charges of aggravated assaults.

Stay at home user, stay at home

well congratulations loser, now you can't vote

enjoy your street cred tough guy

HOW STUPID ARE YOU KEK

You are on Sup Forums son, and you are not even current up on the news that Felons can vote, im through with you. An I sound like a retard...idiot

dick pic?

Dammit, i cant im at work, also i have a great pic of when i got out that i would show in pride

Note to all user's, if you gain weight, you lose cock inches.

i was 165 when i got out, im 195ish now

>start dick gauging

Now why the fuck would you start this. Seriously is this an american prison thing that everyone suddenly turn up huge faggots when they are locked up in cells?

>i cant im at work
>posting at work

>i was 165 when i got out, im 195ish now
Thats a lot of inches

i would have to dig up the study, but its like 10-15lbs you gain you lose an inch

i would have to get on my phone, go to my old email get it then get my account here to get on my phone, just alot of bs, but if you can wait i can....

Well growing up in America, DinDuNuffins actually take the narrative that they are the must hung race. After prison, its Bs

damn so now your dick is only 1 inch, sad desu

>all expenses paid vacation practically.

This is how I know that you didn't actually go to prison.

No ex-con would call the clink a 'vacation'.

You're probably DHS or some other alphabeter checking out Sup Forums for criminals you can round up.

Fuck you fag KeK

not only that but you have to pay it back when you get out

You are full of shit.

I have more actual friends in the federal then I have in state prison.

I didnt see it as a vacation, as i pointed out that hobos, or degenerates see it as that. Newfag in life

repeating digits confirm OP is a faggot pig

I only had court fees, about what 400, and then parole is waaaaaaay cheaper then probation.

80 probation 15 parole each month, faggs

Would the female officer be aroused that men were using her as fap material and would she do anything suggestive?

why were you assaulting old ladies on the street? couldn't pick on someone your own age?

Wait, you work? What work? Did you have to go through anything special to get it? Your boss is ok with a (ex) criminal?

I'll be bumping this thread until you get off work.

Need to see that plastic dick.

You can't even keep your story straight you retarded fucking rookie shill.

You said you locked up for 2 years for controlled substance.

GTFO OF Sup Forums

Here in russia we put balls from ball bearing under the foreskin. People do that in army though.

So dindus are basically massive faggots with inferiority complexes and an obsession with benis.

Prison sounds like a gay sex vacation

Mind you most female officers take a prison guard job to get some type of action due to they arent getting any out in the free world.

There are some monstrosities that work there, but i shit you not, and i say this with the mentality of still being there. They start looking alright after a while

I actually got an associates degree when i was 21, i was charged an imprisoned at 27 and at that time making 40k a yr. That degree helped me out like you would not believe.

ok im going to get the pic

for fun? or gay games?

That's how those two guys in New York State prison escaped, they would bang that one woman guard and get her to bring them stuff for the escape.

>Mind you most female officers take a prison guard job to get some type of action due to they arent getting any out in the free world.

The DoC is not Oz, you dimwit newfag LEO

They literally hit on anything that walks

nigger wtf

doesnt that like, hurt like a bitch?

t. cut fag

Supposedly women like it

>Prison sounds like a gay sex vacation

There are some fags in there, but it's not as rapey as the media likes to portray it.

Rapists and chomos do not do well in prison here.

They are the lowest caste.

Any trans people there? Pedos?

That's a clique.

>Any trans people there? Pedos?

The 'trans' fags are not liked, except on the DL. You don't want people knowing that you're having homosex. They exist, but are VERY rare. The only one I've ever seen is on a 'Locked Up' documentary about a prison in Cali.

Pedos, on the other are the most despised type of criminal. It's basically open season on them all year long. Even the COs will out them to give fresh meat to the violent felons. We need catharsis from our frustration sometimes, and we get it by beating the fuck out of chomos.

It's gotten so bad that they often have a segregated pod or wing for the fucking chomos.

We still get their kiddy diddling asses once in a while, though.

OP HERE, on my phone

UH no, they have had actual weddings in prison, throwing toilet paper rolls as "rice," and all.

This sounds exactly like the Navy. Something about dudes being stuck together that makes gay games happen.

I would of rather be in the navy then prison kek

Once you break ice, you cant put it back together. After that, you see who goes the "distance," KeK