Bro...

>Bro, what if i make a carbon copy of nomadic raiders but call their leader a Khal instead of Khan and their monarchy a Khalasar instead of Khaganate???
>D A B I D!!!

bravo, Martin, BRAVO

Other urls found in this thread:

asearchoficeandfire.com/?q=essos&scope[]=agot&scope[]=adwd&scope[]=acok&scope[]=twow&scope[]=asos&scope[]=affc
awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Dornishmen#Ethnicity
youtube.com/watch?v=60QRkHPidQ4
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>Bro what if I have knights but instead of Sir they are Ser? That's original right???
AMERICAN TOLKEIN

These are very accurate.

GRRM is not Tolkein. Tolkein was good at world building. GRRM just adopts out history and mythology into one "new" world of Planetos. His actual talent lies in character writing and character building and subverting (((tropes))) of fantasy and fiction series.

None of these bother me.

I know senpai, I'm just meming. I actually love the books

Wair, dont tell me that the fucking world where got is based in is called planetos, holy shit

I know you were memeing senpai. I wasn't crticising you. Just retarded normies.

>DUDE WHAT IF I MAKE NAZIS
>DUDE LISTEN
>BUT CALL HIM ORCS? COOL RIGHT?
This child's tale is absolutely undefendable in 2017.
GRRM is not close to being perfect but at least he tries to add depth to his characters.

Horrible prose in general. Feels like reading fan fiction.

I'm 90% sure it's an unofficial fan title for lack of a better term.

It's just a fan name since

DOD WHAT IB I CALL ASIA ASSHAI MAOMAO

ABID WHAT IB I CALL LAND OF RISING SUN ASSHAI BY DA SHADOW GEDDIT GEDDIT SUN/SHADOW WHAT A SUBVERZION GENIOUS OMAE

>Nazis
>When Tolkien fought in WW1

Shit was written in 30-40s

orcs and nazis have nothing in common

But even in the spirit of shitposting, Asia is Yi Ti. He even chose the most sterotypical chinky name for it.

He wrote large parts of it during WW1. He was literally writing in the trenches.
He's also always denied any allegories in his work, even though there blatantly are. But Orcs were definitely not based on Nazis.

You are retarded

Orcs = Otttoman TuRKS
Uruk-Hai = Nazi Germans
Goblins = Italians

GRRM is shit hack, Song of Fire and Ice brings literally nothing new to fantasy genre.

>dude what if i make a group of nomads who rode ponies 6' 7"
genghis khan was 5' 8"

the mongols were MANLETS

Wasn't everyone a manlet then, especially in Asia.
Besides wouldn't being a manlet be an advantage if all your combat is on horseback? Smaller target and lighter and such

People used to be much smaller. Human species is getting more tall with each generation.

>Khan
>Khaganate
A Khan would rule a Khanate and not a Khaganate.

Asia isn't China to a white, non-traveling neckbeard like gurm, Asia is Nippon, who was enjoying an economic boom during the 90s when gurm was writing. Western news paid no attention to China at that time.
He thought calling his fantasy Nippon Nighon too on-the-nose so to his awareness Nippon represented fantasy Asia and got the Asshai name. Asshai even has radioactive poisoning and mutants as part of its culture due to the nukes/dragons that shit on there.

>GRRM just adopts out history and mythology into one "new" world of Planetos
So the exact thing Tolkien did?

Goblins and orcs are the same race.

is this guy the jewiest looking non-jew in the history of goyim?

>Besides wouldn't being a manlet be an advantage if all your combat is on horseback? Smaller target and lighter and such
which is why it makes no sense that they're all 6' 5" dudes who ride big HORSES

you can't supply an army made of horses, the mongols rode tiny steppe ponies
WRONG global average height is 5' 8"

and mongols TODAY are like 5' 6"

and game of thrones is set in the PAST

Game of Thrones is ficiton you deranged retard

>Wasn't everyone a manlet then, especially in Asia.
Fairly certain they recently crunched some numbers and found heights, at least in England, have been roughly the same for about 1000 years.

>Romans fucked a lot of Turkoids
Exactly autist

shut the fuck up redditor

fiction set in the medieval past
>roughly the same for about 1000 years
wrong they said the average height used to be 5' 7"

google it

I think he looks like a fucking Greek fisherman.

how am i a redditor you retarded newshit

>muh reddit spacing
neck yourself kid this is how i TYPE

And you also make them 6"5' brown muscled statues instead of 5"3' bowlegged yellow creatures.

Wouldn't that make them Uruk-hai?

2 inches shorter than the current average. With females being 1 inch shorter. Sure they were a bit shorter but not full on mantles compared to us current day people. There were a lot of tall medieval people and there were a lot of short medieval people, much like today.

That would be Jason Biggs

orcs are niggers you stupid kike

>western continent is called westeros
>eastern continent is called essos
>southern continent is called sothoryos
>farthest continent is called ulthos

>2 inches shorter than the current average
5' 7" is manlet lol
>There were a lot of tall medieval people and there were a lot of short medieval people, much like today.
yeah but the mongols were a short people like they are now, because they were nomads who rode ponies

Uruks are first generation elf rapebabies to keep their bloodline pure.

Nah there are actual niggers in Middle-Earth

>Dude what if the War of the Roses but with magic and shit?
Ah, fuck it, it's a good read and better than what would have been had he stuck to his original plan.

Ulthos is straya right

>eastern continent is called essos
well, not directly at least
asearchoficeandfire.com/?q=essos&scope[]=agot&scope[]=adwd&scope[]=acok&scope[]=twow&scope[]=asos&scope[]=affc

A good storyteller builds the world around his story, not the story to fit the world.

>5' 7" is manlet lol
That's because anglos are manlets today. If they studied say northern germanic skeletons they might have been closer to 6' 0. My point is people weren't necessarily much more manlet than they are today.
>yeah but the mongols were a short people like they are now, because they were nomads who rode ponies
Fair enough.
Orcs are the corrupted elves, Uruks are the human-orc rape babies.

Wait, Essos isn't its official name? What's its real name then?

>If they studied say northern germanic skeletons they might have been closer to 6' 0.
keep telling yourself that

Nothing, since it's not unified like Westeros but instead split into city-states with loose alliances. When a Westerosi character talks about something happening in Essos, the character uses the city/landmark name instead

I don't really have to, I can just read it.

Tolkein made original ideas and an entire bible for his universe. GRRM is using real-world foundations for his world.

>If they studied say northern germanic skeletons they might have been closer to 6' 0.
where can you read this

the world wide webs

Tolkien relied heavily on myth and inspiration from the real world. Especially Germanic myth and stories. From names like Gandalf and Thorin Oakenshield and Mirkwood, to elves and elvish, dwarfs, continents(middle earth was legit supposed to be a 1-1 copy of Europe at some point even).

He was just a lot better at it than GRRM since he was an etymologists and scholar of Germanic and medieval texts an instead of just copying the surface level stuff he sought to elevate and expand upon ancient myths. He sort of envisioned his world as a continuation of real myth he felt England was sorely lacking , so he sort of wanted to make a British retelling of all these Germanic stories.

>Andal
>Vandal
Bravo grrm

>subverting (((tropes)))

he came about 20 yers too late with that

cool authors were already subverting the subversions in his time

Haha no. You have no idea what you're talking about.

See

The fuck are you talking about? Tolkein borrowed heavily from myths.

>Lancelot
>cucks his boss king by fucking the prettiest princess of the land Guinevere

>Lancel
>cucks his boss king by fucking the prettiest princess of the land Cersei

Wtf that's not how subversion works

First Men = Celts
Rhoynar = Norman Gauls

Children of the Forest = Celts
First Men = Anglo-Saxons
Andals = Normans
Rhoynar = Moors

>Norman Gauls

Le Nigger Puzzler

>dude, what if I made a girl, but had her shit diarrhea everywhere!!!!

> Nothing, since it's not unified like Westeros but instead split into city-states with loose alliances.

Among maesters and educated people, the (known) continents are still called Westeros, Essos, Sothoryos and Ulthos.

forest elves were supernatural and couldn't breed with any of the men. more like celts' leprechauns.

rhoynars came in three waves, see pic rel. Martells come from the Frankish wave.

Andals are Saxons who are technically blood related to the Vandals

'no'

First Men are Celts
Andals are Anglos/Saxons
Targs/Valyrians are Normans
Rhoynar are Spanish

So there were no educated povs in the canon and neither does your map exist in vivo, Linda

>Andals are Anglos/Saxons

This can't be because the Andals brought knighthood and chivalry to Westeros which is what the Normans did with Britain

>Rhoynar are Spanish

Dorne is Spain and the Rhoynar are the Moors who BLACKED Spain

awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Dornishmen#Ethnicity

Valyrians are clearly Romans and the Valyrian lingua franca treated as Latin. Did Normans have the highest concentration of Roman blood among the survivors of the empire?

It's not and will never be 1:1 match, I put more weight on their physical descriptions than their cultural implications handed down from politicized and always incomplete history.

>Planetos
Is that what he really named his planet?

Other than it's an anagram no, Normans were Vikings in France not sure of what noble French lineage they may have had though.

your response to legitimate criticism is either 'just pretending' to be retarded or actual ignorance

>and subverting (((tropes))) of fantasy and fiction series.

>literal bad guy called "night king" coming with an army of zombies to literally kill all living things
>the girl with the dragons and the dude from the prophecy (including thick plot armor) have to literally fight on dragons against a zombie army in a climactic battle

WEW LAD

>Northern America is called North America
>Southern America is called South America
And then there's shit like the Mid West, Middle East, North/South Korea, etc.
People are lazy and have called places based on their direction for literally ever.

This.

"Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs."

"Her loins ached from the urgency of his love making. It was a good ache."

"Was there ever a woman with nipples so large or so responsive? He could hardly look at them without wanting to grab them, to suckle them until they were hard and wet and shiny"

"Ser Alliser Thorne walked from the room so stiffly it looked as though he had a dagger up his butt".

"The ship groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to shit."

"The three men were erect. The sight of their arousal was arousing."

"She was sopping wet when he entered her. “Damn you,” she said. “Damn you damn you damn you.” He sucked her nipples till she cried out half in pain and half in pleasure. Her cunt became the world."

>"HER CUNT BECAME THE WORLD."

"And suddenly his cock was out, jutting upward from his breeches like a fat pink mast."

"Men call me Darkstar, and I am of the night."

"Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew."

t. GURM

Watertown
Newcastle

etc.

IS that really worse than Westeros being the western continent, and Essos being the east, and Sothoryos being the south?

No, all blacks

...

New Zealand, New Holland, New South Wales, New Caledonia, etc etc

Sorry Cletus, Tolkien and 1940s England didn't have your nigger problem. Turks, wops and sandcoons were their niggers.

>>literal bad guy called "night king" coming with an army of zombies to literally kill all living things

The name comes from what he did though. He was the 13th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, but went far north and found a wife for himself there, came back to the wall and declared himself the Night's King, ruled the Night's Watch that way for a while before they overthrew him. Fuck knows how the show turned that into him being created by the children of the forest though. The Night's King of the book is a completely different origin than the Night's King of the show.

Orient literally means East

uh

youtube.com/watch?v=60QRkHPidQ4

A lot more subtler etymology than omitting one vowel or consonant tho

>Dragon named Drogon

>He was the 13th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, but went far north and found a wife for himself there, came back to the wall and declared himself the Night's King, ruled the Night's Watch that way for a while before they overthrew him.

That's myth, not history.

The White Walkers will be shown to be created by the CotF in the books as well. If GURM ever gets off his fat ass and release another book before he dies.

Are you implying that the maesters had no concept of continents?

I'm not clicking on your purely this decade production, Cletus. Get some perspective and realize your problems are just the problems of your time. They're fads.

>>the girl with the dragons

Every time I see Daenerys I'm reminded of this classic 1980 cheese movie.

He was ahead of his time desu

Also, they all knew about the Africa problem

>"The ship groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to shit."
>"Was there ever a woman with nipples so large or so responsive? He could hardly look at them without wanting to grab them, to suckle them until they were hard and wet and shiny"
>"The three men were erect. The sight of their arousal was arousing."
nothing wrong with these, seen worse in a James Joyce or Nabokov novel

Stark of the North = Romano-British / Scottish / Moscovy

Arryn of the Vale = Celtic Wales / Swiss

Tully of the Riverlands = Medieval English

Greyjoy of the Iron Islands = Viking Age Scandinavians

Lannister of the Westerlands = Renaissance Italy

Baratheon of the Stormlands = Tudor England

Tyrell of the Reach = Carolingian French

Nymeros-Martell of Dorne = Post-Reconquista Spain / Norman Sicily

Targaryen of the Crownlands = Byzantine Empire

Wildings = Roman Era Germanic tribes / N.American Indians

I'm implying you should train your high-powered autism onto literary comprehension.