Alien Covenant

Welp that was disappointing.

It was wheat kino and clearly 2deep4u

too much fingering for me

Why does everybody hate the latest two movies? I thought they were enjoyable.

because Sup Forums was invaded by reddit and it's nothing but capeshit and reddit and pickle threads now

I like Prometheus. This one was driven forward by every character being retarded.

>This one was driven forward by every character being retarded.
Huh, you're right. Never really thought about it that way.

>Visit uncharted alien planet deviating from planned destination due to fragment of radio signal
>Land on surface and start walking around and interfering with local fauna, without wearing spacesuits or even at least rebreathers/air filtration masks
>One of party fails to kill fleshy xeno that's smaller than a kitten with both a knife and bootheels, mauled to death
>Another manages to miss every shot with a pump action shotgun on same small creature to the point she accidentally blows up the lander
>After being attacked by more fleshy blobs, remaining landing party entrust their safety to evil wizard who leads them through a valley of millions of blackened, petrified corpses to a giant mausoleum and take no issue with anything they see in the process
>Captain doesn't immediately shoot David when it becomes apparent he's gone insane and created an army of alchemical chimeras, instead puts his face into a giant leather egg
>Walter doesn't immediately warn the others that David's lost his mind when he makes an error attributing a Shelly poem to Byron
>No-one notices "Walter" speaking with the same gurgling impediment as David when they return to the ship
>Nobody thought to check the flatbed lander for more xenomorphs before calling it a day
>Interracial couple turn music up too loud to hear ship's computer while showering, die

I'm pretty sure there's plenty more but you're exactly right. Every bad thing that happens is a direct result of one or more crew members going full retard for the sake of advancing the narrative.

I would have rather had Blomkamp's Aliens sequel but I guess Ridley Scott wanted to buy another boat or some shit

Reminder that Scott basically tried to end Blomkamp's career over that and even after all the shit he pulled Blomkamp has been nothing but polite about him.

You forgot how the crew was just a bunch of married people who skips safety precautions and risks an entire colonizing mission just because his wife is down there.
That the 3rd in command, and the captain is husband and wife.
That the motivation for the 3rd in command is that she will build a log cabin with his husband (captain) and when he dies, they want to give up.
First thing they do when the mission is at a critical risk is to take a shot in honor of the captain dying.
The 2nd in command is then seen as the bad guy for wanting to get the mission back on track. Then he is seem as the bad guy for not believing in luck or faith. Then he is seen as the bad guy for not doing pragmatic suggestion by 3rd in command.
3rd in command's entire motivation for even considering going outside the ship is to find a place to put up the fucking log cabin.
The captain had brought tools and materials for a fucking log cabin, to a foreign planet, not sterilized guaranteed.
Mr Redneck acts all tough, and even has to adjust his hat instead of taking it off during a really important maneuver.
They landed on a planet without flying in orbit for a while to scout it out.
Their reaction to finding Dr Shaw was just "oh well".
A guy goes from 100% to 0% in a few minutes, hey, let's expose every crew member to whatever he may have caught.

And then all the convenient shit to "scare" us. Like slipping on blood, in a med bay, with proper boots, you'd think they would be prepared for blood in a med bay. How she goes back and forth quarantining, opening, and in the end acts reckless and blows up the ship.

Lmao megalomania robot vs daddy issues robot.

>You forgot how the crew was just a bunch of married people who skips safety precautions and risks an entire colonizing mission just because his wife is down there

Well to be fair, he was completely right about his intuition.

>expect alien movie
>instead get pseudo philosophical movie based on David

Was a bit disappointed, but Fassbender is good enough to save it. I thought the reveal at the end was going to be a hole in the neck where david got nailed

>movie only happens because 2 chicks slip on the same blood spot
dumb

fuck fass was great in this despite its flaws. How many actors could pull off borderline homo-erotic scenes acting opposite themselves?

I've seen covenant twice now and still can't get my head round how bad it is. I even tried the audiobook and at least it tries to explain away some of the weak plot points, David samples the air and determines it safe before the other crew board the planet without helmets. The egg scene with the captain plays out differently as well with David showing him other dead egg sacs and samples before fooling him with a live one.

>David
Walter

Blomkamp ended his own career im actually glad his shitty alien film didnt get made, fucking social politics would have been woven into it and sharlto copely as a droid, no one wants to fucking see thst

>waaaaaaaah Prometheus wasn't ALIEN
>Ridley caves
>waaaaaaaaaaaaah I realised that a b movie horror flick from the 70s doesnt hold up now! waaaaaaaaaaaaah

Kill all plebs, next time Ridley won't cave to you critics and your myopia

I agree with your first point but Sharlto Copely makes everything better

I mean this goes for Prometheus as well. My favorite moment of Prometheus is when the girl with bleeding belly rushes into a room full of people and nobody even care about what happened to her. What the fuck was that.

Connecting the origin of the xenomorphs with humans is the worst shit that could've happened to the franchise. Can you come up with more boring mystery resolution that this?

what if
what if all the other films that came after Alien are actually just Ripley tripping while on her emergency pod?
what if all the characters act so retarded because she feels guilty all her crew died without reason?
what if all not-Ripleys we've been getting are actually subconscious manifestations of Ripley's devastated soul?

I like Prometheus. Alien Covenant was trash.

Because most people don't understand anything that isn't said out loud by a character.

You think David didn't tell them what was happening to Dr. Shaw? David was in constant contact with Mr. Weyland even before he was taken out of hypersleep, and no doubt those men were loyal to him which is why they were on the mission too.

One could genuinely think it was a parody. That's how stupid the movie and its characters were.

it's LITERALLY a "just turn of your brain, bro" movie.

YOU'RE disappointing.

>the original Alien was created by an android

this pisses me off to no end, also it was more human

these new ones are just fucking insects

also holy shit they even show the Aliens POV complete with blurry vision, like what the fuck why

Xenos have always looked like organic machines, and their POV was shown in Alien 3 too.

Prometheus and Covenant are films for Alien fans, and most people clearly aren't.

THE ENGINEERS' PLANET CONSISTS OF ONE RUSTIC CITY AND ONE FIELD OF WHEAT

>If I can't see it, it doesn't exist
Literally a 1 year old playing peek-a-boo level of intelligence.

That scene should be shown in screenwriting classes as an example of how a writer fucks up and does a half-assed job trying to recover.

Hahaha holy shit there are seriously shills who defend this movie?

No, mate, it doesn't exist because we were shown a big area of the planet and there was practically nothing around for miles and miles. Literally no sign of civilization.

Did you think there was nothing in the world except Las Vegas when you watched Fear & Loathing too?

It was sickening and insulting how easily the crew got the upper hand on the xenomorph. Literally MUH STRONG FEMAL PROTAGONIST .

It was ok, but I was dissappointed at how little they show the xenomorph.

What IS an 'Alien movie'? The first one was about corporations being evil and dehumanising the worker.

The xenomorph is the worst part of the movie, it would have been better without it. Fassbender is the only good thing in this.

just as bad as the Prometheus not as bad but pretty close

>Welp
Helloooo, reddit!

Can you argue why those particular characters should've cared about Shaw being injured?

no because we're still not fully aware of how david even made the xenomorphs... for all we know he modified existing DNA of creatures that existed millennia ago and did not create them by himself

plenty of mystery still remains

>alien
>a b movie
>prometheus in any way comparable.

Ive not seen a pleb opinion like this in a long time.

Since fucking when was that reddit I've been using welp for like 5 years at this point.

>geologist pro gets lost
>biologist touches an unknown alien organism

they were all retarded

I thought the beginning of Covenant was really good and unnerving. The pilot's reaction to the infected guy was great and relatable.

i'm reading the book. much more enjoyable than the movie so far.

the decision to land on and explore the planet was much better explained and even made sense in the book. it seemed fucking retarded in the movie.

A lot of people seem to forget that nobody in this universe has watched the Alien movies and won't coolly and rationally know what to do when meeting the only known example of alien life which also wants to tear them limb from limb.

I think Scott should just abandon Alien and make a movie about Androids like he really wanted

what was the difference?

>This one was driven forward by every character being retarded.

This true of both films, the only difference was that Covenant wasn't mauled to death by Lindelof so it was more coherent, until you actually sit down and think about it for 5 minutes.

>
>>This one was driven forward by every character being retarded.
All the alien films and 99% of horror films in general are

>How come you guys don't freeze him?

You have a point since it's a psycho grandpa, a mad android and an extra with no lines but then they stand in airlock with that german doctor that she struck with an extinguisher and no one even says anything or acknowledges her escape at all.

>You forgot how the crew was just a bunch of married people

It was a colonizing mission, they weren't going back to Earth. Being marries couples makes sense.

7/10

>First thing they do when the mission is at a critical risk is to take a shot in honor of the captain dying.

Without even trying to sort out the bonus situation.

well you're a moron then

Did you know fire is hot?

>The 2nd in command is then seen as the bad guy for wanting to get the mission back on track. Then he is seem as the bad guy for not believing in luck or faith
>faith

The 2nd in command was a religitard, he had faith.

But what about the faggots?

I have a feeling Jarret leto would do well

They can look after the children of those who die, colonisation missions are hazardous and that's the leading explanation for the existence of homosexuals in nature.

>writer
>Damon Lindelof

Pick only one

That was the third one, the first was a straight up horror set on a space ship.

>skips safety precautions and risks an entire
Is the entire plot of Alien just not following safety procedures?