CRAB LEG SPECIAL IS COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

CRAB LEG SPECIAL IS COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

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the-numbers.com/market/
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memes are becomming a reality HOLY SHIT

>seducing movie-lovers with overpriced mediocre "gourmet" food and booze
no thanks

Look at Prince Faggot here who thinks he's too good for a bucket of crab legs.

>going to the cinema because of the food

>they even admit that movies are so shit now they need to entice people to watch their movies

Worst part is they'll charge $20 for a burger

Clearly the solution is more Cinematic Universes and capeshit! That will surely work!

Depressingly, capeshit is the only genre of film that consistently did reasonably well

You have to see the big picture though. Sure, high-budget comic book movies are making a ton of money, but they cost insane amounts to make and market. So they've cornered that market, but at the expense of every other demographic. Think about how many good dramas could be made with the money they blow on movies like Civil War? How many great scripts are sitting in Hollywood filing cabinets hoping that maybe Lionsgate or some other smaller studio will be able to afford picking it up? The overall amount of movies aimed at adults (and not teenagers and manchildren who want to see superheroes spout one-liners) is dwindling.

the-numbers.com/market/
As you can see, actual ticket sales are in a state of decline. Grown-ups simply aren't going to the movies anymore. Is that the fault of home video, or a lack of good drama, or competition from high-budget TV?

americans I assume

My theaters almost there

I just hope we get a Capeshit equivalent of Heaven's Gate soon.

I have had a Bistroplex by me for a while.
Gourmet food and alcohol.
Nothing new.

Just start selling beer and other adult beverages.

>2380 calories
how

It's not all it's cracked up to be. Here in southern California half the theaters do this and I've tried it. The only good thing is somehow the markup isn't insane like the rest of concessions. A beer is sometimes cheaper than a large soda. But alcohol goes straight through me and I hate having to pee in the middle of a movie. Also if you don't want a Bud Light, your only other choice is some meme craft beer with 8% ABV which if drunk too fast or on an empty stomach makes it harder to pay attention to the movie. Maybe it's just me but even the slightest intoxication ruins my ability to appreciate a film.

>DRUDGE REPORT

try harder next time OP

>cinema near me refuses to not put the straw in the drink

Fug u guys I just want to check if there are bugs in the straw before drinking out of it ;_;

>pasta
>shitton of sauces

>not being happy with your KP™ Nuts.

I SPENT 10 FUCKING DOLLARS LAST NIGHT ON A FUCKING REGULAR COKE AND A BOTTLE OF WATER!!!!!

SERIOUSLY WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS OVERPRICED SHIT!?!?

>let's make going to the movies even more cost prohibitive!

i thought jews were supposed to be smart?

Cry more bitch

morons like you buy it so why wouldnt they sell it?

Any WA anons go to the cinerama?

I'll take crab legs only if they're cheaper than usual.

That'll be $39.99

+ Falcon tax.

what the fuck is wrong with americans?

when you want to eat proper food, go to a goddamn restaurant. why would you want to watch a movie on the big screen and meanwhile be distracted from it while cutting your food etc? just buy the dvd later on and eat then. why would anyone want to watch a movie at the theater and eat something that requires anything but reaching for the food with your hands and putting it in your mouth?

Theaters in which you can order pizza and wings to eat during the movie are already a thing in my area.

>forgetting the mandatory 40% tip
it's like yu guys are amateurs

Was the water to wash down the coke you spastic fuck

Because that goes without saying lad.

Urgh stupid monkeys

its pretty cure how boomer business owners think that boomer culture still exists

>theatre has a crab leg special
>still can't go in because of no singles policy

i usually chug a bottle of vodka in the parking lot before I go in

>that goes without saying lad.
um.... no.

>be distracted from it while cutting your food
Your cinema slave does the cutting and brings the food to your mouth.

My local AMC has a full bar, complete with beer taps, bottles of wine, and even hard liquors.

Popcorn and a beer makes for great movie snacking. Full meals is just retarded.

>>going to the cinema because of the food

>going to the food because of the cinema

>tfw leave crab shell pieces all over
PICK IT UP WAGIE

>ordering anything described as "loaded"

>Liberalscum protests by starving himself and get attention
>He can't resist going to see his Avengers propaganda and the smell of food in the theater make him fail

Well played AMC

Damnable is the filet mignon, she seductively waves her grizzled hide before mine visage.

WHY doth she tempt me so? So suede me from my one desire: to witness kino in all of its glory.

Yeah they do this at the Alamo Drafthouse
Been there once, it was pretty nice.
Food aside though they're far more strict on how people act during the movie, which is nice. Assholes disrupting movies is becoming a bigger and bigger issue

People eating while the movie is playing

Plus 20% to the usher

I once saw the cinema police take a man and his children into the back alley to be shot. It was a horrifying image that all who witnessed will never forget.

Effective? Undoubtedly. Never again were the cries of a child heard within those halls.

this has already been a thing in VIP cinemas for years
stop going to your local Harkins or AMC and have some class
the extra 10 dollars is worth it, trust me

That's 10 extra dollars of food I could sneak into the theater, though. And it's food I can choose, not whatever crap they decide to sell in there

and the extra 10% to the penis inspector

13.50 dollarydoos for a days worth of food doesn't sound so bad.

only normalfags eat 3 meals a day or think food having many calories is a bad thing

No I bought a drink for my Gf too loser

Okay, fatass.

Only in burgerland.

Out country is so great even our poor people are fat. We have single handedly destroyed one of the biggest problems traditionally faced by humans in the past- food scarcity. We are the greatest country on earth.

>we're great because we have lots of arable land

That's more the land and the farmers than the country as an entity.

I'm sure some people love it. But I would never go to a movie theatre which served hot food.

I want a movie theatre that's just slightly too cold, has uncomfortable chairs and most importantly turns the house lights all the way down when the movie is playing.

Fuck this shit.

>t. "enjoys" eating food

just when you though this board couldn't get more pleb

This is the equivalent of being that one guy who eats at the strip club.

Autism

When will cinemas realise we want to sit back with our hands on our dicks while some slut walks around on all fours with a leash around her neck calling us daddy

IIRC the kinoplexes make almost nothing off ticket sales, the money is in the concession stand.

Oh boy 7 bucks for a beer. Not like I wanna leave the theater room every five minutes to piss anyway.

>sneak dry shampoo and deodorant into kinoplex
>freshen during in the movie
>able to pass inspection on the way out without having to shower
>have a spare shower token for next time to make sure i have enough time to push my shit down the shower drain properly

i think i've cracked it lads

my local theater is remodeling next year to be like this. it's upsetting

they simply discovered that fanboys, particularly of comics and video games, have inexplicably vast amounts of expendable income and will say anything is good if it has their favorite iconography presented in a reverent fashion.

this is why marvel films succeed while DC fails, because marvel is simply taking bits and piece of the canon and weaving them together in a live action universe, while DC is constantly trying to cash in on the brand name alone while changing everything or completely failing to understand or research the source material.

they got lucky with nolan's films but i'm pretty sure we are all fucking sick to death of batman since those films came out since DC marketed him relentlessly as their only interesting profitable character

>the cinema doesnt make $20 from you sitting down

you suck at business bro

keep the food, install bathrooms directly into the theaters please

>We have single handedly destroyed one of the biggest problems traditionally faced by humans in the past
while simultaneously establishing the biggest problems facing humans in the present– obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, sweaty stanky fat people blocking corridors and getting stuck in door frames, turds that are so big they flood public bathrooms, and then the inevitable mental gymnastics people use to justify their disgusting bodies, accusing anyone genuinely concerned about their health of "fat shaming".

When you say greatest I take it you're quite literally talking about your size?

The studios take almost all of the tick sales dumbass

they realised that the fanboy infants will watch movies as though theyre television series. create a "cinematic universe" ie a tv series and they wont miss any "movies" ie episodes.

afterwards the betas will rationalise that they needed to see it because it looks better 40feet tall or the sound is amazing lol or "they just like it :^)"

theyre brand junkies, married to star wars, marvel, dc, and the next big thing whatever it may be.

>america invented fat people

America gave people the freedom to make and consume whatever they want, not our fault dumb people exist and can't enjoy responsibly

>Le normie meme
Kill yourself
And I thought Sup Forums was the most reddit board

I make sure I have diarrhea before going to the cinema, really speeds up the process.

>not our fault dumb people exist and can't enjoy responsibly
>however the majority of these fat dumb people happen to be Americans, live in America and consume food which, because of relaxed food regulations, is absolute pig shit

Home of the brave. I would be too if I was forced to eat there

> there are people on this website who actually believe that Sup Forums has more meme magic than Sup Forums

>first we meme'd a President into power

>next we meme'd crablegs into theatres

what do we do next with this power???

give gf pls.

>But alcohol goes straight through me and I hate having to pee in the middle of a movie.
this is why I never drink before a film
cinemas need to find a way to address this
ie. every screen having its own bathroom which has a small tv playing the film simultaneously or something

Try not being a pussy and building up your tolerance

Your third world country would be fat too if your grocery store shelves weren't empty

>gourmet

Last time I went to the theater the food was 4x as expensive as the tickets. Then you're surrounded by noisy people in the theater. Somebody smells like shit. There's kids that can't keep their mouths shut. Some idiot shouts spoilers then runs out of the theater. If it's flu season endless sniffling and coughing. After 10 minutes the popcorn is stale. The drinks are so large you have to piss halfway through the movie and you miss important parts if you get up. Getting up requires you to step over gargantua the mother of 6 who brought her entire hellspawn entourage with her. Floor is flooded with soda and candy pieces. When you finally leave you try to smile and pretend you enjoyed yourself but really you would have been 100x happier saving all that money and waiting for the film to be out on amazon instant video and watching it from your couch.

So fuck theaters. They should have died with the 90's.

Invest in adult diapers or, failing that, shorts and wellington boots so you can piss yourself and let it run down your leg and pool around your feet.

we already have a meme as a president man

This

your grocery store shelves are always empty because you fat fucks eat all the food.

i go for the falcons

Im working in that

>americans go to the cinema to watch capeshit and eat food out of buckets and troughs, and if you're lucky you don't get shot
What a cultural blackhole. North Korea can't nuke you guys soon enough.