Haha, beauty and wit...they'd be lucky to have you ;)

>haha, beauty and wit...they'd be lucky to have you ;)

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youtube.com/watch?v=w0doWx73iM4
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>there is more to life than sex

this would destroy her completely. literally blocks every kind of comeback.

>outing yourself as a whore on national television
Is she married?

>Well why don't you FUCK Off, you filthy fucking cunt. I bet you thought that was fucking funny didn't you, fucking cheap looking where, I fucking hate you and this fucking country.

What did he mean by this?

>You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

>where did I go?

>You're just a jerk. Leave me alone

She apologized to him. He won.

youtube.com/watch?v=w0doWx73iM4

>I don't mind you laughing at me, but don't you dare pretend that mentally ill cretin in a dress pretending be a woman has any right to laugh at me, too

That scene was way to real, man

what he should have done is climb over that desk thing and just start savagely beating her in the mouth and face. But no, we live in a world with "EQUALITY"

fuck i choked on my tea FUCK YOU

>Oh what's that you want to have sex with Brad and Leo. Well I can't comment on Leo's abilities but I remember being fucked by Brad during our Moviefone interview and I wouldn't recommend it.

What a ghoul this thing was.

>why'd I leave?

That's not an apology, it's a tongue in cheek mocking of his baby like behavior after the original interview.

>That's funny, cuz I have the same fantasies but in mine its you that leaves.

To a Muslim, of all things.

slutshaming is the only strategy that would've worked because it actually gets under women's skin

the question is whether it'd be worth the damage to his career

>"hehe I went from being a nobody to being an important asset in a beautiful womans double penetration dream, now give me 5 more years and then lets see where I end up."
>everyone errupts into heartfull laughter
>qt weather girl gives him her number and sucks him off backstage

YES. FLATTERY. NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT YOU DUMB FUCKS. EVER HEARD OF THE FOX AND THE CROW?

>Come on, I came here to have a good time and enjoy your country. Not to be the punch line of your joke just so you can upload it on YouTube and get some gimmick views.

He would just get up and leave. That's how Johan Hill wins this.

>and your other sub

stop, just stop. you cant do it. it cant be done. its killing you, Sup Forums. just stop

>JONAH QUI?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>that's what you are but what am I?
Literally uncomebackable

>WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME YOU GIANT FRENCH SLUT ILL HAVE U KNOW IM COOL IM VERY COOL AND YOU YOU FUCKING SLUT ARE A FOOL IM GOING TO FUCKING EAT YOU OMG IM SO GODDAMN MAD AT THIS FUCKING WORLD FUCK YOU DAD

>You vile hussy. You ill mannered swine. Your wit is as rancid as your breath. I bid you good day.

THAT'S how you do it.

>hussy
This will never NOT be my favorite term for a woman.

>look her up and down
>"Ive had better"
or is that too savage?

>You want to know my fantasy bitch? It's your face under my huge swampy ass. In fact, get under there right now. You won't be giggling with my smelly ass cheeks wrapped around your head. *BRAAAAAP* ha ha, sorry I couldn't keep that one in. Heh, you must have got the full blast of it with your nose pressed right up against my asshole. Footlong B.M.T with Sweet Onion sauce. Eat Fresh. Only I guess it's not so fresh anymore, ha ha. Hey you're a weather girl, right... did you predict these winds? *BRAAAAAP* Ooh another stinker! Surely you're used to it, living in this stinky country? *BRRRRAAAP* *PLFFFFTHT* You're a shitty interviewer, Ornella, but you make a decent chair. Guess we finally found a use for you. *BRAP*

I LOVE this meme

If you can't make a good comeback just go full sperg with a reasonable rant about politeness and expectations on the treatment of guests them leave.
Sure everyone will make fun of you and call you asshurt but at least you got to vent.

Idk how shed respond to this one

>all that butthurt in the comments section

>pregnant pause
>"Hitler was right to invade your country and he literally did nothing wrong"
that would have shut her up

>haha well fuck you too with those two

Short, to the point and it rhymes.

I love it too lad.

though you are more beautiful then me you could never love them with intensity and passion that I have loved them with. I have made them moan with ecstasy for hours on end bc I have navigated the depths of their very souls. You will never know them the way I have known them. You're little joke was meant to to shame me, but it has only revealed the shawlloness of the your "love"

What if Jonah had just dropped trou and took a dump?

Would that have worked?

Adept social knowledge here; these are very good. Best I've heard aside from faking that his earpiece cut out and going
>"I couldn't hear, what did i miss?"

...

we just need more time

Based berserk Jonah.

>You know what? Fuck this. *removes earpiece* I didn't come here for this shit. I didn't fly for 12 hours to hear some slut talk to me like she knows me when she doesn't. I'm tired, I'm hungry. Fuck you. You don't know me. I bust my ass every day to be a good person that people can say "hey, this guy's doing some good in the world", "hey, Jonah Hill makes me happy" and what do people like you sit around and do? You criticize. My weight doesn't remove anything else from me as a kind-hearted person but that's all you can see, isn't it? "Look at that fat guy", she says. "Look at me! I'm a pretty slut". "Look at me! LALALALALALALALALA. I'M SO PRETTY!". FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR SHITTY SHOW. Merde you! You understand that? MERDE YOU.

>Oh I see. Pretty cruel joke, but crude humor is an in-thing nowadays, I get it. You know, you mentioned Brad and Leo and them, and I can tell you I've met them before. Real nice guys. They like to talk, Leo especially, and they're all hopeless romantics. But they're really kind, aren't judgmental, and would never mock me for being who I am. Just the kind of guys they are, they've had such success around them that they've never had a reason to be cruel and shame others. That's for lesser people, for people with demons of their own that they don't want to confront, for people who aren't what they wish they were. You'd like to get with Brad and Leo? Well, they'd probably be real nice to you, compliment you on your looks and personality, and then be on their way. And frankly, so would I. Have a nice day, miss.

holy fucking SHIT. it's been SEVEN YEARS and the ENTIRE board of Sup Forums is STILL struggling to find a good comeback.

Fucking hell, it just proves that sometimes, you can't win.

WILL YOU FUCKING VIRGIN AUTISTS STOP DRAGGING THIS SHIT OUT ITS BEEN DONE TO DEATH FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh man, it's so stupid but it got me

t. Autist

Cringe and cringier.


baka

What's going on here? Basic gestalt?

>calm down fatty is just a joke *teehee*

He literally CAN'T win

>why can't I stay?

oh yeah, thats cringe huh? but hurling bitter insults at innocent people is totally normal social behavior. ok, right

>What the hell. I'm done with this interview. Jackass.

>Because you're fat and ugly....and frankly have an unpleasant odor

>Please let me smell your poophole

Fat people aren't innocent

>ree
ironic

Imagine yourself in any social situation you fear and imagine the things you fear actually happen such as people laughing about you being quiet or having no partner or whatever it is. These people rip your heart out exposing all your shame and humiliating you. They deliberately hurt you. Now you start talking back. Where is the evidence for these things ? What are the justifications for these accusations ? You can try EMPATHY, SELF-ACCEPTANCE and COMPASSION, or COMPENSATION if you like. You will learn about those later on. It is probably best to write out a script for this.

CRITIC: Cheez your such a loser aren't you ? Let's see: you have no girlfriend, you've never kissed a girl, and your still a bloody virgin. What have you been doing with your sad, patheric life ?

TARGET: Well when you look at my life through the lens of the culture of this country, you will see me as sad and pathetic.

CRITIC: If I were you I'd have shot or hung myself 20 years ago.

TARGET: Well that's shows the difference between you and me, doesn't it ? You're life without those things is far more meaningless than mine.

CRITIC: It sure does, you can't even get laid even if you wanted to!

TARGET: Your absolutely correct. I've wanted to get laid for years but am just incapable of it.

CRITIC: Well have you even tried ?

TARGET: Sort of but I usually chicken out.

CRITIC: Wait a minute. How can you be 40 years old and have not been laid once. You MUST be gay.

TARGET: Gay ? Nope! I just have no real technique and just know I will end up making a fool of myself all the time and then just get rejected.

CRITIC: You are one serious LOSER!

TARGET: You're not wrong there! I have been a loser all my life when it comes to the ladies. You got any tips ?

CRITIC: You're 40 man! How am I going to help YOU ?

TARGET: Well let's say I was your age what would you tell me ?

CRITIC: I don't know, just go for it.

TARGET: Thanks!

CRITIC: Your welcome.

kek'd

>how original, did you get that one from the insulting joke store?

>I'm sorry but it appears the translator is insulting me. Can someone else translate what she said? No professional presenter would say what she said and I'd prefer not to repeat it in polite company.

>typing all of this out
wew lad

You've cracked it, user

>insulting joke
>then she responds "you mean like your life?"
too exploitable

...

I need to fuck too. Why can't I fuck? Why? I want to put my sex rod in your sugar bowl but you won't let me, WHY?!!? I want to fuck and I want to fuck right now!!!!!!

>That's good, really good. Next time you get in a room with Tarantino, you should pitch him that idea.

>Haha that's funny, I have the same fantasy about you and your two beautiful co-hosts :^)

What is any of this about? Is that the studio audience of Top Gear?

>"That's too bad, I've always wanted to see a whore prove her worth."

Why is the audience so smug and weird looking? It's like they're aliens in skin suits laughing at Jonah

perfect comeback

Jesus Christ lad, it's just a stupid meme. Get help to kill yourself faster

>you think you're so hot...
>well you know what...
>...you're not.

CRITIC: I'd hate to be a virgin like you.
SHY GUY: Yeah it is strange for someone as old as me to be a virgin, isn't it ?
CRITIC: Ahhh, yeah it is very strange. It's real funny too. LOL
SHY GUY: I often laugh about it as well. But if I wanted to do something about it I would but it doesn't bother me.
CRITIC: Doesn't bother you. WTF! Are you gay or something.
SHY GUY: I guess I'm even more strange than I thought. Oh well.
CRITIC: Oh man, I feel so sorry for you. Being a virgin at your age just give me this feeling like I'm on a barren lifeless wasteland that supports nothing.
SHY GUY: A barren lifeless wasteland supports itself, doesn't it ?
CRITIC: Yeah, but there is just something not right about a man your age being a virgin and never being in any kind of relationship. It's just so weird.
SHY GUY: Many things are weird, but once you understand them, they no longer are weird.
CRITIC: Why don't you want to lose your virginity ? Isn't that every man's dream ?
SHY GUY: Yeah, it was a dream once, but no longer. I have different aspirations now, like painting and playing instuments.
CRITIC: This is so sad.
SHY GUY: What can I say, people fall into circumstance and things happen because I believe these things were meant to happen when they were born. People just follow their script without thinking about taking another path. They think and feel and just follow through. If they get into a conversation with someone they like and that person likes them, they just decide to get into a relationship. That's just the normal thing people do. They follow their desires. That was in their script. Me, however, think and feel, but choose NOT to follow through with things simply because I want to be different. It causes temporary pain and grief over loss but that goes away. I chose to dishonor my needs and desires when I was younger for various personal reason but I consciously chose this path.

>haha good thing it's a fantasy because after this show I'll take you to a real hotel room tonight and this time I won't leave
No need to be rude, just be smooth.

behold, its the mind of a serial killer at work

>just
>be
>smooth

whoa, im pretty this would have saved face AND gotten him laid

>smooth

You're fucking disconnected with real life you dumb piece of shit. Jonah isn't a "hot guy" who can play it off with being smooth. Anything he says remotely flirtatious would make him seem like a creep. The best thing he could do is casually dismiss her with his status.

why didn't he just have a better sense of humor about it?

...

I loved this.

Everyone told me you regularly go airtight, how are you going to manage that if I leave?

Yeah nothing like a passive aggressive rape threat to get the ladies interested.

>she's insulting him on his looks
>just be smoothed
fuck my sides

This is literal rape though.

>*breaks down sobbing*
>what did I ever do to you to make you say these things to me?
>*choking for breath between wails*
>I just want to be loved like everyone else, is that too much to ask?
>*slams fists on desk*
>Why are you targeting me, when youve got a mentally ill freak sitting right next to you?
>*rushes over to tranny and starts pounding its face in until security rushes in and forces him off stage*

Just be smooth lads

Probably sensitive about his weight + wasn't expecting it.

Do you think this was the motivation for him to lose all that weight?

i think he has a role where he's supposed to be skinny and kind of mentally weird or something

100% yes, it was. for a fact

Leave? I'd have stay just for brad, that's the only right answer

It has become the sole focus of Jonah's existence.

For the last 366 days, that laugh has haunted him.

Either she falls for him and it's consent or Jonah just rapes her.
Either way he wins.

Fuck. Was John Candy as nice as he seems from his movies and shows?