I do believe it's time for a Spider-man. Tonight's episode is Electro and I'm wired and ex-static. So, Sup Forums watt do you rank this guy as a Spider-man villain?
Solving all these capchas hertz but together we'll power on through and ... probably bolt down to page 10
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It was a dark and tired cliche night!
Oh and previous episodes are here
And the old fantastic four ones are here
Why am I even out here in this weather? And don't you start with the "itsy bitsy spider" with me, I've been hearing it all day.
Underwear's all soaked. Time to head back home but first let's go peepin'
Ah JJJ's house. Maybe he's home so he'll see me rub mah butt against his windows
ZAP
Lightning fired up? Don't see that everyday! Let's check out what's going on in this ohm.
Everything looks ok. JJJ's pastel colorful equine's right where he usually keeps it.
Who's that? A human Starfish?!
Cut off from the police! The JJJ alarm is useless now!
This'll be one picture that Jonah will be really interested in. Now to get the right angle and distance and get him in the shot...
*click*
Finally! JJ will love it!
SPIDER-MAN! YOU KNOW I CHAAAAAARGE FOR HAVING MY PICTURE TAKEN
Careful where you point those bolts! You can only fire so many of those a day ya know!
ALL YOUR WEBS ARE USELESS AGAINST ME FOR ALL THE POWERS OF ELECTRICITY ARE MINE! MIIIIIIINE!
And did you hear?! Magneto invited me to join his brotherhood of mutants! You should have seen his face when I turned him down! Yeah, like I'm going to join a team with a frog and a fat guy.
You keep shooting where I am instead of where I am going.
>all those bad puns
ELECTRO NEVER MISSES! Seriously tho if lightning never strikes the same place twice I gotta make it count.
And Spidey's SAAAAAAAAFE sliding into the desk!
listening to AC/DC really gets me goin
Spider-man! You're much too old to be playing hide and seek! Get out from behind there! But speaking of safes...
Almost forgot what I came to steal! In this safe is J. Jonah Jameson's ENTIRE collection of pictures of Spider-man! That's right folks, this is where he keeps them all!
Electro: He'll pay a king's ransom to get this babies back in his possession! Especially the ones he commissioned from Plague of Gripes, Jollyjack, and the 187 page comic he got Palcomix to do!
Spider-man: NO! Not my life's work! Someone has to stop him!
bump
You can just web wires to make them work? I call bullshit.
thank ye kindly
No problem
Spider-man: And a little more to keep you here until the cops arrive!
Uh no I don't think I'm going to wait around.
SEE?! You can't stop me WEB-FACE!
Uhhhh yeaaaaaaaah I'm going to need those reports in by 5.
...
Well JJ at least your picture laughs at my wisecrack antics.
The elevator is broken so I'm gonna have to juuuuuuuump!
You better be bringing me back a cup of coffee and a ham and cheese on rye
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRREWELLLLLLLLLLL SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIDEEEEEEEEERMAAAAAAAAAAAAN
Upstage me making an exit! Well I never! Oh thank goodness it's the police!
bump
A spotlight? For moi? I haven't rehearsed but I can probably put on a song and dance if you give me a minute to set up on the roof
SPIDER-MAN! HALT! YOU'RE WANTED FOR MENACING AND TRESSPASSING. STOP OR OUR BULLETS WILL SHOOT.
Screw THAT I'm leaving. Rain clouds, may your dense cloud formations support my webbing
Parker: Betty! Check it out! These pictures prove that Spider-man didn't rob anyone and it was Electro who dun it!
Peter? No. Don't mention Spider-man around Mr. Jameson today. He's been ranting and raving and ragecrying and stomping around all morning after last night's robbery.
MISS BRANT! NEW HEADLINE! .........
What do you want PARKER? I have no time for you.
Parker: Mister Jameson that's a terrible headline. You'll never sell any papers with that.
Jameson: Spider-man's gone TOO far this time. I'm offering a BILLION dollar reward this time.
Parker: But it was Electro that robbed you! I have proof!
bump
Jameson: What? This?! This is just Spider-man in an alt costume!
Parker: But he shot lightning!
Jameson: YEAH? AND??!!! Spiders can do that don't you watch discovery channel? I thought you were an educated lad. Don't you know the song, shoots lightning bolts, any size, strikes crooks with lightning till they die.
INTO THE TRASH IT GOES
The things you'll do to earn a quick buck after your boss got robbed! Of all the nerve! And don't you start photoshopping pictures! I've seen my fair share of pixels in my time!
Betty: You ok there, champ? Did he hurt your feelings? Do you want to talk about it? Maybe go out for some ice cream?
Parker: ...
I'll just have to prove Spider-man's innocence some other way if photo evidence from inside his house isn't going to be enough.
You'd think he'd question how I got in there.
...
Spider-man: There he is! I'd know that bright show of light anywhere!
Thanks for sticking with me. So where do you rank Electro as a villain?
>So where do you rank Electro as a villain?
Powerful but, Underused
MAX DILLON IS HERE AND I AM FEELING FABULOUS
NOW WHAT TO ROB? Jewelry store? The bank? Candy from every baby? The night is young and possibilities limitless!
Hark, what light through yonder rooftop breaks? Tis the east, and you're a piece of shit.
A piece of shit? Would a piece of shit do THIS?
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
Can already tell this fight's a lost cause.
SPIDER-MAN! YOU'RE JUST THROWING ROCKS NOW? WHAT ARE YOU 7 YEARS OLD NOW?
...
What me? Throw rocks? Nah I'm just here hanging around
Looks like you're a born LOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Now just to wait around and see where my Spider-tracer-bug-gps tells me where he's headed.
MEANWHILE
Another successful robbery! Can't wait to model this bling!
AHHHH! THERE'S A SPIDER-MAN ON MY BACK! GETITOFF GETITOFFME
OH! That's what the threw at me! Should I tell him spiders have 8 legs? Does he know? It looks like a really fat ant.
...
You wanted to know where I was, Spider-man? Come find your tracer NOW.
Aha! That's where he is! The signal's coming through now!
Jamie Foxx you're in for it now!
It's time for fisticuffs! H-hey! There's no one here.
Damn ... he saw through my transparent plan and led me into an even more transparent trap
Spider-man, you're under arrest. We have no reason to shoot you but you MIGHT be a mutant so don't try anything funny.
Nothing funny? Nothing like THIS?
Watch out for the webbing! It's all gross and icky!
I can see you're very dedicated
Police: Cover the rear entrance
Spider-man: You mean the rear exit?
...
Where did these guys learn to aim? My Spider-sense isn't even going off.
That I am. That's about all that I am. I also stream movies every friday and that's something else I'm dedicated about.
MEANWHILE AT ONE OF THE MANY MANY MANY ABANDONED AMUSEMENT PARKS
Soon, I will make you me into an OC. I'll paint you black and red and name you dream thrasher and I'll put a knife with blood on it as your mark!
Mom wouldn't let me wear her jewels and pearls. WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, MOM?
Just a little moooore science and the webbing should be lightning-proof
And this Benjamin Franklincounter will tell me when I'm near electric things! This'll help me find Electro for sure!
Should I do it? Should I jump? I want to join you so badly Uncle Ben, but not today. I have my name to clear first. Besides, my shoes are still on. That's how you know I'm not serious about suicide.
Alright been around the entire city and so far the power plant and battery factory are the only places that have gone off. Where could that green and yellow asshole be?
My scanner isn't really detecting electricity, but it is detecting high levels of hype, family fun, and seriously overpriced unhealthy foods. 16 bucks for a foot long hot dog, small bag of chips, and a soda? Come OOOOON
Spider-Man: HONEY! I'M HOME!
Electro: YOU!
Spider-man: ME!
Electro: You should have just gotten arrested. You're no match for my powers!
It's not all about power! There's also plot armor, web hax, quips, fan favoritism, author favoritism, and editorial mandates to consider! Not to mention dumb luck!
Electro: What? Is this some web hax?
It is! I mixed some Asbestos into the webbing! It's harmless to me! I've got radioactive blood, spit, semen, and other bodily fluids and I'll be fine but you'll be stuck with a persistent, dry cough for your stay in prison!
...
Electro: NO. I GOT IT. I JUST HAVE TO SHOOT LIGHTNING HARDER. HALLE BERRY SAYS THAT THE SAME THINGS HAPPENS TO EVERYTHING WHEN IT'S STRUCK AND SHE'S THE EXPERT
Spider-Man: Uh ooooooooh. Big problem!
*booooom*
Spider-Man: Blazed up to the gills now and I feel great, dude, where'd you go? Have anything to eat, bro?