Ever wanted to be a chosen person with an ethnic homeland? Do you wish our nepotism applied to you?
Good news, goyim! In this thread, you can pretend to be Jewish and see what it's like to act like you are chosen by God. We will have a focus on politics, of course.
I'll start: Oy vey, I paid 50 shekels for a taxi this morning but it was worth no more than 40 shekels (true story).
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W-we are friends, right?
Of course we are, brother! We are friends until the end.
Shalom friend!
How are the Palestinians tasting these days! I've been in America for a year trying to get the goyim into becoming self admitting Gentiles through the Christian tv channels.
Soon enough they won't just be pro-Israel!
Stop being so evil.
Good work, HaChever Sheli! That is most excellent.
The Palestinians haven't been giving us shit recently since we put them back in their place and bombed them two summers ago. It's been nice and quiet.
Can you teach me some jewish tricks?
You have to sincerely work to be Jewish to learn our ways.
When I was in Canada some fat guy on the street said shalom to me.
I think it's cause north Americans have a propensity to speak to strangers
Wouldn't have that happen in my country.
I also experienced my first ever dinner with a grace before eating it was really fascinating.
The way the land was so flat (Calgary) and boringly patterned with long ass roads stretching for miles it made me feel depressed.
Fun Jew fact: We haven't said "Oy vey" in decades, it has since been replaced with "Oy vavoy," which means the same thing.
You goyim are always saying "Oy vey" and we never correct you, so consider this a special secret that I am confiding in you.
I will infiltrate your ranks with my Jewess and offspring
My son said "dad, I need twenty bucks"
I said "ten dollahs?!? what do you need five dollahs foah?"
wat is the best way to get easy shekels?
Divide and conquer.
I do not like this thread, delete it, please.
>OY VEY WHAT A FUCKING HOLOCAUST REMEMBER THE 666 TRILLION YOU FUCKING GOYIM NOW KILL YOURSELF.
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how dus a filthy goy immagrate to israel?
lending money and trade obviously
You have to have a Jewish parent or grandparent, sincerely convert to Judaism, or marry a person who has done either one of these things.
c..can I go on my free trip to Israel, now?
I was an American just like you when I took my free 10-day trip to Israel in college.
Now I'm Israeli and still hold an American passport. I love my homeland.
c..can I get a discount on some dead sea skin-care products?
do you believe in the six gorrilion?
No. You may come float in the Dead Sea, but you may not receive discounts on anything.
It's not up for debate, goy. It happened and you will pay dearly.
I thought it was 60 million.
remember the 6 billion, goy!
It's 600 million, you literal racist.
snibedi snaeb your benis and you're halfway there
the correct measurement is 1.0 hitlers
>600 million
>not 6.0 gigajews
gas yourself
greatest ally, do you have a machine gun that you carry around with you in the street? If not, why? Have you ever beaten a rock-throwing Pal?
You fucking goyim make me sick. Forgetting the 600 billion so quickly. I should have the Mossad kill you.
sllomo plz how do i get i cute jew wiafu?
>be egyptian
>go to the beach to rape some little boys
>get eaten by a Great Kike Shark
feelsbadprophet.jewpg
telegraph.co.uk
Kek
holocaust ssurvivor here
>tfw blessed by god
Is this the truth?
Also don't forget about the 6 googolplexillion
no its 6 billion because of quantum immortality and in alternate time lines nazis still killed them.
we didnt come up with quantum for the sake of science
how did you survive the holohoax shlomo?
Oy vavoy. You people are literal nazis. Everyday I wake up and face so much anti-semitism. How am I supposed to go on in life like this? Wait till the ADL here;s about you, you stupid Hitlers. I can't believe how easily people forget about the holocaust, where 6 inifinity brave Jews gave their lives for our victory and our freedom. This board will face the mighty retribution of Yahweh. The end is coming for you, goy. Open your hearts and your wallets to Israel or else face the consequences.
Not a bad start, goy. I'm proud of you.
I have actually met a copule of jewesses where I worked, and they actually helped me alot and were super nice, is this real life!??
Shalom friend. I accept paypal, cash, and especially credit. That will be 5 shekels for my work. I could have put more effort into it, but 10 shekels isn't too much to ask for. Come on, I've got a family to feed here. 20 shekels is literally nothing.
I will remember this until I die, thank you.
Still not sure I can trust info coming from a Jewish source
We have kind, intelligent, beautiful, and hard-working women. I'm very lucky to be an Israeli Jew!
You can cross-reference this information in Google.
Oy vavoy, such blatant anti-semitism could only come from a goyim. Tell me, do you support Palestine in your off time? How much do you know about us Jews anyhow? We are the smartest people known to man. We are Yahweh's chosen. You foolish Hitlers don't know what's coming.
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Pro-tip: "goyim" is the plural of "goy," and it is pronounced "go-YEEM."
Shallom again friend. I'm just suffering from post-Holocaust-stress disorder. I forgot how to grammar. My poor אַבָּא became a lamp shade and I'm suffering from survivor's guilt. My foreskin sometimes comes back to haunt me. My rabbi couldn't help me find a cure. Damn it, Palestine must pay for this.
חחחחח טוב מאד
Don't divulge too much, there are goyim on this site.
Yesterday, as I was reaching down to grab this penny, my bad back began to hurt. That's when I remembered a story about my great uncle. Being a goy, he would sometimes say the darndest things. I remember, once I was using my inhaler for my asthma and he said "Gas die juden Rennen Krieg jetzt." My mother told me he was telling me that he loves me. It's because of my great uncle that I have great faith in the goyim.
I'd just like to shut it down for a moment. What you're referring to as goyim, is in fact, GOY/Jew, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GOY plus Jew. Jewis not a subversive system unto itself, but rather another shadowy component of a fully functioning ZOG system made useful by the GOY libtards, shell corporations and vital synagogue cabals comprising a full ZOG as defined by POSIXmillion.
Many shekel users run a modified version of the GOY system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar (((turn of events))), the version of GOY which are widely conditioned by the media today is often called "Liberal", and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GOY system, developed by the GOY Project.
There really is a ZOG, and these (((people))) are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Yaweh is the kabal: the program in the system that allocates the society's shekels to the other programs that (((they))) run. The kabal is an essential part of an oy-poerating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete oy-erating system. Jew is normally used in combination with the GOY subverting system: the whole system is basically GOY with Jew added, or GOY/Jew. All the so-called "Jew" distributions are really distributions of GOY/Jew.
I sometimes wonder if the average Jew sees us as a bunch of crazies. I'd assume so. Israel got any idea?