Things you won't hear Muslims say

Things you won't hear Muslims say

I'm more of a dog person than a cat person

I can't wait to fly to my destination and enjoy myself when I get there

I am a feminist.

AHH THERE'S A TRUCK COMI—

Whats up with that filename? That's not Chris Farley, its drew Carey.

I want only one wife of my same age

I will certainly return to rebuild syria when the war ends

i respect your culture and do not wish to push my islamist agenda

bacon and pork products are amazing

It's my responsibility to regain control of Islam by rejecting it's more archaic tenants and reforming the religion to be compatible with the modern world.

I'd rather just chill and try some new bacon recipes, I don't really feel like blowing myself up today.

You guys have fun. Say hi to Mohammed for me.

bacon is awesome

You have to go back.

I don't want to immigrate from my shitty country and make other, more successful countries, like this one.

Israel is Jewish clay

that girl is much too young to make for my wife.

Something you won't hear them say: "Gays are unironically the best things ever, Ahmed."

Something you will hear them say: "Nice cock, Ahmed. Why don't you come over to my house?"

Kek.

I would like a BLT please

I'd like to purchase a return flight ticket.

...

...

Seeing how i hate your country, i think its quite reasonable for me to get the fuck out of here

I would love house a christian refugee

Let me build those Churches for you!