Y-you too

>y-you too

What a concept. The unwinnable scenario

>this kills the Sup Forums

>whatever, nigger

Is this the Kobayashi Maru of our world? How do we cheat to win?

>FUCK YOU FUCKING DUMB FRENCH ROASTIE I'LL HAVE MOSSAD ON YOUR ASS 24/7 FROM NOW ON

Best comeback. The only real choice he had.

sometimes the best move to play, is to not play at all

You don't go to the interview in the first place. It's an unwinnable scenario. You can't shrug it off as some kind of alpha male because you're only ever going to be Jonah Hill, you have to respond as Jonah Hill. There's nothing he could have said to save face, it's not about how you win, it's how well you handle defeat.

>same channel constantly cries about stupid shit like fat shaming and man spreading

>Actually, I'm saving myself for marriage. Perhaps you treat your sexuality casually, like a used rag that ends up in the toilet now and then. That's fine. But it's not my ethos.

>"where would I go away to? my yacht with my beautiful girlfriend? BOOM"

>heh been there, done that

Its over

this just comes off extremely butthurt. it's not even funny. plus you just slut shamed her so you lose automatically.

>shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieet, nigga you crazy

>"but you were just telling me backstage that you were on the rag."

Doesn't work because he looks like fat retarded manchild.

>thanks you spared me of getting a STD

>You're not even in the room with me, there is no Brad, there is no Leo

>how am i supposed to respond to that

>"MOTHERFUCKING MUTT!"

>Lol, get a load of this fat fucking virgin

This is actually pretty good. My god it just might work

>"perhaps a jingle of coin would change your mind, m'lady."

kek'd

>"wow, we thought you were cool until you insulted our friend Jonah. It's all three of us or none of us"

>like... i dont... *gestures* wow, that came outta nowhere *smile cracks*
bam, audience sympathy, she looks like a cunt, end of story

>You're supposed to look sad tubby

Friendly reminder that based Cruised solved it for us.

Now why would you say that? Why did you say that? Come here, come here. Why did you say that? – It’s okay, just a second – What’s so funny about that? It’s ridiculous! Do you like making a mess of people? Hey. Hey! Don’t run away. That was incredibly rude! I’m here giving you an interview and answering your questions, and you say something really nasty. You’re a jerk! Youre. A. Jerk. You know what? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Add some shit about how she will burn in hell, and she literally can not say anything back.

>leave? I didn't even come.

This is unironically the best I've ever heard in these threads

>go fuck yourself

>that's funny, it's exactly like my fantasy.... except in mine I tie you to the bed and rape you with a baseball bat and then cut your belly open and eat your intestines. Fucking cunt.

>im already in a happy relationship with a beautiful woman that i love. I wouldnt even think of cheating on her, let alone being degenerate enough to participate in a threesome. Just keep me out of your crazy fantasies from now on

>Listen, we're not friends. The reality is that I have two Oscar nominations and you have two videos on your YouTube account, I have made films with Scorese and Tarantino and you made an advert for a cleaning products company

>my mom is allergic to shrimp

>Dammit, I'm a comedian, not a pimp

He should have just kept a straight face the entire time - maybe smiling politely or rubbing his chin every now and then.

>NANI?! omae wa mo shinderu!

>can I watch?

this would be the appropriate response for the room, getting in on the joke and getting a heartily laugh from everyone including the tranny

>I all ready left you out, piggy.
>OINK OINK

like it wasn't enough to be roasted in prime time, now they know you are a virgin ...

>i'm gay

I hate this fucking selfentitled frog whore so much, wish she would choke on niggerdicks and die...

If we ever come up with an answer, I'm gonna rent a blimp, with the answer spread out on a huge fucking sheet, and have it circle around fucking frogland for a month until she sees it.

>W E W
>E
>W

tips fedora

>Look me in the eyes... I have seen footage you wouldn't believe dear...*chuckles* Oh you naive stupid bitch, put on the pedestal, denied the burden of ugliness. HA HA! They say the Hills Have Eys? Well this Hill has teeth girlfriend. Yes yesss, come let me see those tears, those frightened young eyes, fearing the cold embrace of age, your mortality. Oh? you're scared? Frightened? you are the weak, the frightened, the small. The footage proves it, yes yes... Come now, my dear cry for uncle Jonah. You think you can hurt me? ME? Oh I laugh and I eat and I chuckle and I embrace my gluttony. Because I am the strong willed I deny death and live without the approval of Frogs. I shit on you. And that is the footage I wish to see. Yessssssssss.

>Bring my finest steed as I shall make haste to slay your underlings!

>do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

There's your answer, folks

My hair literally formed into a fedora and a katana appeared on my side as I read that.

Just stare at her, unblinking, like tywin fucking lannister, until she awkwardly change the subject

Now why would someone fantasize about fucking Leo but not Jonah? Both are fat actors.

*hold hand to ear, nod, nod, look confused*

Sorry I couldn't make out the translation it cut out, something about you fucking multiple men in hotel rooms?

>you will never have two chad bros that have stacies fuck you to get close to them

best response

>It's a 'fat Sup Forums virgins got butthurt by fat shaming so much that they are still coming up with come backs moths after Jonah himself forgot all about this' episode

what did the chick say in the first place

>Very witty. Yes.... I like that.... Very good.

Based Tom.

Instead of any comebacks here's the real thing Jonah should have done

>ignores what she said with a disinterested look on his face
>eyes shift around the room and he reaches his hand into the back of the pants
>in his clenched fist is a bunch of dead skin and lint and hair from his asscrack
>he gingerly sniffs it as the audience slowly roars to life with confusion
>his eyes go from the ball of filth to the french lady and in a single calculated move he flicks his fingers and launches it into her eyes
>as she sobs and wails and screeches Jonah rises and waddles out of the studio

lol he literally changed his entire life because a roastie roasted him

It was some joke about how she has a fantasy where brad pitt and clooney and jonah are in her dream and they all go to a bedroom and then jonah leaves

It was pretty unfunny desu

>"it's because I'm fat, isn't it?"
>*drops to the floor and starts doing pushups
>thunderous applause

>*Teleports behind her*
>Pshh. Rien de personne, kid.

kek

>unfortunately for you, all it ever will be is a fantasy while I tongue punch Leo's fart box every night.

Anyone got the pasta where he pulls out a gun, and holds everyone hostage?

>"When I saw you getting sodomized by a 3 feet demon in "This is the End", that's when I said "this is the man of my dreams"
How would you respond?

Jonah seems to think
>"I heard you get sodomized quite often don't you?"
is a good comeback but nobody laughed