>movie trailer
>WHAT IF CTHULU WASN'T JUST A STORY
>ear shattering fart noise
>full frontal shot of Cthulu rising from the sea with water streaming off of its body
>black screen
>coming 2018
>movie
>opening shot is Cthulu rising out of the water
>movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes of Cthulu destroying a city
>ending is Cthulu standing over the leveled city roaring at the sky
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>WAT IF OP WASNT A VIRGIN NEET FAG
Based Lovecraft
> Cthulhu looks into the camera
> "YOU'RE NEXT"
fucking kek. full trailer when?
>Cthulu
>2h45m
>one city
wew
its missing water sound
>trapped in the anal development stage
>sticks finger in anus & cthulhuposts
>movie trailer
>WHAT IF CTHULU WASN'T JUST A STORY
>ear shattering goofy alarm clock noise
>full frontal shot of Cthulu rising from bed and slamming a tenticle down on the alarm clock
>black screen
>what if the legendary creature was just like us? Lost in this crazy world trying to find his place?
>and to try and fit in he is going back to school to learn about humanity and perhaps find love
>BECAUSE IM IN TO DEEP starts playing
>shots of Cthulu rushing to catch the bus
>various scenes of him interacting with people
>other scenes of him going to parties and doing other teenage/college kid stuff
>coming 2018
>movie
>opening shot is Cthulu rushing to get dressed and hurrying out the door
>movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes of Cthulu trying to fit in and learn what it means to be human in this fast paced crazy world
>ending is Cthulu standing over the a defeated Chad and getting the cute girl.
>cthulu
>nothing happens for 2 hours
>a single tentacle is shown on the very Last minute
>critics shed a tear, praised by contrarians as the best horror movie ever because jumpscares are too mainstream
>opening scene
>Cthulhu getting his belly sliced open by a boat
>freeze frame
>Yog, that's me! You're probably wondering how I ended up in this mess!
oh fuck off i want a serious big budget movie about cthulu go back to red dit with youre dumb le randum humor.
>movie trailer
>WHAT IF CTHULU WASN'T JUST A STORY
>ear shattering fart noise
>full frontal shot of Cthulu rising from the sea with water streaming off of its body
>shot of Adam Sandler and Kevin James on the beach, staring at it open-mouthed, Sandler tries to take a photo with his Iphone X
>Leslie Jones drives up to them in a Ford Escape (TM)
>"Aww hell naw, this vacation is over!"
>fart noise, drum beat starts and rapidly increases in speed
>US military helicopters flying towards Cthulhu
>shot of Cthulhu roaring
>shot of Will Smith in a jet
>"ia ia this motherfucker!"
>shot of buildings collapsing for no reasos
>another fart noise
>THE CALL OF CTHULHU: DAWN OF THE OLD ONES
>>waaaaaaaaaaa nobody takes my teen angst srsly!
kino
would watch
this is the definitive cthulhupost, i doubt anyone can out-kino this
this is the reason no one takes this board serious its nothing but stupid newfags shitting up discussions with le funnay memes and stupid inside jokes instead of good discussions about tv/film
this board needs nuked
But H.P. Lovecraft's fiction is terrible. The only reason to waste your time is if you're interested in his nonfiction, and even then, there's innumerable better writers. Why the fuck would you be interested in a bad adaptation of one of his shitty characters?
>I don't understand the point of Cthulhuposting
nigga the whole reason we're having these daily threads is because these intentionally retarded pastas are always guaranteed to lure humorless shitheads out of the woodwork who feel the need to explain that DATS NOT WHAT LUVCWAFT IS ABOUT
no shit sherlock
these would be top kino
>movie trailer
>What is OP had a job?
>shot of his dad looking disappointed
>black screen
>implying I'm not cthulhuposting at the office
>is
I'm literally spraying the weirdest shit into a toilet at work right now. I think I might go home.
I'm afraid I've now sat in this stall for so long the smell will stay with me.
was the fart noise ear shattering?
>he complains in a thread that's spammed non-stop for the past month
your newfag is showing
It echoed yeah
>"What if everything you ever believed is a lie?"
>distant sound of woman screaming in hysterical agony
>mixed with drumbeat
>fad in on faraway bonfire burns at edge of jungle at night
>close just enough to make out silhouetted figures dancing around flames
>firelight catches vaguest outline of some kind of idol
>"What if science, mathematics, reason couldn't help you?"
>mental patient in straight jacket huddles in the corner of a padded cell
>reverse shot of the patient's face in absolute terror
>"What if nothing could help you?"
>seacaptain at helm stares in awe
>drops his hand from wheel
>shuffles out of pilot house
>crew standing on deck staring at something
>"What if nothing was going to be OK?"
>underwater, a giant three-lobed burning eye suddenly snaps open, catching man in deepsea diving suit in silhouette
>"Not for anyone."
>rapidfire montages of hideous statue dripping blood, Arab man floating midair in crowded Arabian market, passing man on street grinning with eel-like teeth, man running in terror through darkened underground corridoor
>"Ever again."
>amid ruins of bizarre architecture jutting from dark ocean enormous monster rises from the waves as ship rolls back on swell
>cut to black
>deafeningly loud, disturbing alien cry
>"The Call of Cthulhu"
>fade in on man on bus stop bench daytime, hand shaking, taking pack of lozenges from coat pocket
>almost panicking puts one in mouth
>his eyes dart to side
>oddly cute little girl in rain hat standing with obese mother beside bench
>smiles at man
>he gives her a lozenge
>she smiles wider and blinks her nictating membranes
>"Summer 2018"