"I cant get drunk because my superpowers wont let me"

>"I cant get drunk because my superpowers wont let me"

I actually like when side-effects of powers are explored like that.

With his accelerated metabolism, the Flash wouldn't be able to get drunk, and he'd be constantly eating high carb/fat foods. It's refreshing to see that sort of thing touched upon.

...

THIS we need more this.

know what? i want to see superman sad because he cant fuck lois without kill her.

if superman can walk down the street without tearing up the pavement, he can fuck a woman without ripping her in half

He punches people all the time and they don't explode into red mist. I'm sure he can fuck as delicately as he can fight.
What he should really be sad about is that he can't fuck Lois raw for days on end without having to worry about hollowing out her chest.
Shoot, now I'm thinking of that world of cardboard speak but in the context of fucking.
>But you can take it. Can't you, big man?
And then Darkseid never sat comfortably again.

Yeah, uh no. The problem with that being "touched upon" is because it opens a whole fucking universe of even more questions

If the Flash's metabolism is so high that he needs to eat all the time, it also means that he should be defecating, all of the time. The Flash would spend so much time shitting, eating, and running that he wouldn't even have time to sleep, and that's of course implying he can sleep seeing as though going without food for an hour is the equivalent of a 40 day fast to someone who has to make up a continent worth of caloric intake.

Fuck off with this shit.

How do you know he ISN'T shitting all the time? I don't know if you know this, but I heard he's pretty fast

Because there are times where the Flash is seen stationary or in the same place for extended periods of time and in none of those stories does he leave for a potty break, a quick snack, nor does he shit himself or die of thirst.

this is why wonder woman - superman is the perfect pairing

He's just THAT fast

The shit is absorved by the speed force.

If it can make his costume, it can consume his shit.

>Flash writing 101: Speedforce away anything you don't want to deal with.

What if speedforce actually makes flash's metabolism more efficient too. Maybe he uses more mass of food than the average person, leaving only tiny diamond shitnuggets behind as waste for a massive 3 course meal.

Makes sense. Being drunk is literally being intoxicated, if the characters process poisons faster than they act they shouldn't be able to get drunk.

>I can think at the speed of light. I can perceive events that last less than an ATTOSECOND. I can run faster than time. What do I do when I run across the country, Superman? I'm shitting. Everywhere, all the time.

He is shitting, your mind perceives it as lightning

Is that what you want, user?

For every issue of the Flash to have a panel of him taking a massive, fat speedforce shit on every page?

Or do you want to stop being an autistic STEM major and accept that, narratively, no one wants to touch on the boring, obsessive-compulsive minutia?

If a character passes toxins through their body at an accelerated rate, it would take more alcohol for them to get drunk, and less time for them to get sober again. Did you not finish secondary school there mate?

It's the by-products of metabolizing alcohol that get you drunk. A character who processes alcohol faster would need less to get drunk. Did *you* not finish secondary school there mate?

His digestive system is so effective that nothing is disposed.

Wow that was easy.
Done.

Quantum shitting through the Nth dimension?

>Someone uses a picture you made

Dudes fast, he could poop without anyone knowing.
He could poop in the ocean
He could poop into a volcano
He could poop on some strangers stove and ruin their day

Flash is just a poo in loo now. fug

>I can't into fun
Do you not know you can have a middle road between MUH REALISM and MUH WACKY FUN

To be fair we basically never see heroes take potey breaks, which they reasonably should, because it's just not that interesting.

>I've compared shits with you before, some of mine were even bigger.
>Those were for charity, Clark.
>PPPPBBBFFTTTTPPPBB

>this fucking thread
I love you faggots

>Wanna see me take a shit on that mountain?
>Wanna see me do it again?

>"I use ninjutsu to get drunk faster"

You guys are fucking killing me, my throat is starting to hurt from my laughs.
Fuck.

>Of course I'm a dick. My superpowers means everyone is too fucking slow.
Holy shit, Quicksilver is literally me and I don't have super speed.

There's a few episodes of Smallville where Lana Lang wants to fuck Clark, but he's afraid he gonna break a bitch. It was fucking stupid then, too.

>My mind reading powers are awesome in a world where everyone thinks in one perfect sentence at a time.

>With Adamantium bones, Wolverine is too heavy to walk or swim
>Healing factor means high metabolism means he'd have to be constantly eating
>His hair would be growing constantly and not just stop at the usual hairstyle he grows back in a matter of hours after having it burned off

>Cyclops kinetic beams are not somehow swallowed by the ruby quartz but keep pushing his visor off his head the moment he opens his eyes
Actually, scratch that. His head isn't quartz-lined. It went POP when his powers manifested, leaving only a mile wide crater.

>Kitty trying to phase actually makes her atoms lose coherence, so she crumbles into a pile of goo

>Mystique morphs herself some clothes
>puts something into her pocket
>reverts back to nude woman form
>foreign body still inside her own
>ded

Why would she morph clothes?

And even so, couldn't she just morph the object back out.

>For every issue of the Flash to have a panel of him taking a massive, fat speedforce shit on every page?

I recall a scene where Wolverine and Spider-Man are sitting in a bar and Logan keeps drinking whole bottles of alcohol, being drunk for a panel or two and then sobering up for the next bottle. I thought it was a clever way to approach it.

>Kitty trying to phase actually makes her atoms lose coherence, so she crumbles into a pile of goo
You come up with this rather than the simple fact that when she tries to phase through a wall she'd just also phase through the ground and fall forever.

>i want to get drunk but it's not that easy with my superpowers
>i'll just gobble 20 cans of beer instead of drinking vodka or some other strong alcohol

Superman can thrust into Lois Lane without any problem, but you're right that him shooting cum might be a problem. Either way i think Batman can come up with a indestructible condom capable of withstanding the force of his super-blasts permitting Superman of coming without end with no problems.

Mystique uses her asshole as a pocket.

Sounds like a red-blooded Canadian to me.

Kegel exercises. Clark has complete control pubococcygeus muscles. So it comes out (so to speak) as quickly as he wants it too.

Just like my man Kim Jong

Why would you wan t to get drunk? That's like saying you want to get shot.

>His hair would be growing constantly and not just stop at the usual hairstyle he grows back in a matter of hours after having it burned off
actually not how hair works. Hair has an in-built 'maximum length' after which it stops growing, becomes brittle, and falls off so a new hair can replace it. So Wolverine should be constantly shedding.
>somehow swallowed by the ruby quartz
I thought that the visor reflected them back into his eye-portals, not swallowed them

This, it always bugged me about the character. At least guys like Martian Manhunter and Vision are usually flying when they phase through things.

I used to like the John Byrne's era explanation where Superman had a mild telekinesis, meaning that everything he'd touch would be as invulnerable as him by extending his tek field to the thing. Thus explaining why he could catch people and airplanes mid-flight without problems.

This way every time Superman and Lois would have sex Lois would be as invulnerable as Superman, since he's touching her and extending his tek field to her body. That way Superman and Lois could have awesome super-sex with no problems. He could be as rough as he wanted with her without hurting her.

This is something that should be explored with Superdad and not in a manner relating to sex. Say someone wants to shoot MILF Lois dead and Superdad can't shield her on time. Superdad could just extend his finger with her finger and she'd become as invulnerable as him, with the bullets bouncing out of her body. It would be a cool double-page spread.

She's a tiny Asian girl, It's not a special ability for her to be bad at holding her liquor

>Bats makes Clark a special X-Kryptonite condom with the capacity to contain a nuke blast
>Lois and Clark don't show up at work for about a month
>Anybody within 100 meters hears extremely powerful slaps and loud moans
>The multiple orgasms bursts the eardrums of anyone within said 100 meters
>Supes returns to Bats after a month and a half and asks if he can mass produce more
>Batman was recording the entire time to analyze how X-Kryptonite works

...

Liking alcohol and wanting to get drunk is like being addicted to fighting but wanting your arms and legs broken. The fighter enjoys the thrill of the fight and of the victory he might claim, the goal and enjoyment is not in the idea of being brutally beaten and getting your arms and legs broken, but the fighting itself and the possibility of victory.

You drink for the drinking itself, not to get drunk. Most people would probably love to be immune to being drunk.

Wayne Enterprises would make mad dosh selling super-condoms to metas.

But she does use ninjutsu to lower her tolerance even more so she can get more drunk without weighing herself down anymore than she needs to

>You drink for the drinking itself, not to get drunk

Say what now? Your analogy with the fighter not wanting to be injured would make sense in that nobody really wants to be hungover, but who the fuck doesn't like being drunk?

I don't agree with that, like I never believe people who tell me they drink alcohol for the taste.
You want to get "tipsy" or whatever you want to call it, which is lightly drunk.

No, YOU fuck off with that shit.

You are trying to apply realism to fiction. To a cosmic "goes fast" man who gets his powers from a dimension of sentient SPEED. For all we know all the food and drink Flash consumes gets converted into speed force or something.

You're that stupid faggot who thinks he's a genius who watches a movie and goes "This alien wizard war isn't realistic enough. An evil Space Emperor would never do that. Do you have any idea how complicated casting a global metamorphosis spell is? There is no way it'd be that easy! Don't get me started on the giant talking amoeba aliens. Giant talking amoeba Aliens would never talk like that!". You think you're the smartest person around but you're actually the dumbest bastard in town.

Fuck you, you contrarian cunt.

>Wolverine should be constantly shedding
That would be pretty amusing.

I don't even why Flash should have problem getting drunk.

Isn't Speed Force like a button that the Flash presses and activates his powers? He isn't fast all the time. He should be able to get drunk fine when not using the Speed Force.

I'd say that spending the night drinking but not getting drunk is the opposite of a victory. All you've done is waste money and booze.

The chemicals released in the brain from drinking are not the same thing as the sensory overload of inebriation.

Most people who drink don't drink to the point of inebriation.

You enjoyed drinking though.

I can tell the people in this thread have never gotten drunk or even drink freely.

Actually the case for this guy, had to quit smokes and booze for super strength, but he got a pretty hot wife in return.

Who gives a fuck whether or not the chemicals in brain are different during and after drinking? If you claim that people don't like being drunk, you're just lying. I don't know what kind of secluded bubble you would need to have lived your life in to honestly believe that people don't enjoy being drunk.

This is really getting into the semantics of what "drunk" means.

I'm literally an alcoholic.

Drunkenness usually comes as a result of gluttony for the sensation that drinking provides.

>I'm literally an alcoholic.
You'll say anything to look "more right". Like the online debaters who claim to be scientists because they think it makes them look smarter and infallible.

>Most people would probably love to be immune to being drunk.

Fuck off cunt. While I definitely enjoy finding the best and new brews and flavors for my drinks that's only half of my goal, the other is to get at least buzzed.

>The chemicals released in the brain from drinking are not the same thing as the sensory overload of inebriation.

The fuck are you talking about, man? Getting tipsy? The pleasure of the taste? Put down the fedora and say what you mean.

...

>You'll say anything to look "more right". Like the online debaters who claim to be scientists because they think it makes them look smarter and infallible.
Or like you, accusing people of never having been drunk and lying about their experience with alcohol because it happens they disagree with you.

I don't even care about your stupid semantics point, I'm just saying you're stupid if you think there's anything rare about getting drunk, it's like the most common weekend thing to do for westerners, especially Europeans like myself. Shit my dad recently literally fell down drunk and opened his cranium.

So if people don't actually care about getting drunk, they only like the process of drinking, how would you explain the myriad of ways to bypass the drinking process to skip straight to the state of being drunk? Shots, shotgunning beers, beer bongs, hell, there's breathing alcohol and booze enemas. If people really loved the process of drinking and didn't care about the end result of getting drunk, why would anyone want to put it up their ass? All these things just cut out as much drinking as possible so people can skip right ahead to being drunk. Would you say that people are just lying, or that they don't know what they want?

Have you ever stopped to think that you're the weird one?

IT WAS ME BARRY

I WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK THAT SHIT

So what's the baseline for "drunk?" I like the taste of alcohol and I like feeling swimmy.

I find zero enjoyment in being blackout drunk. If I can't safely drive after an hour when I stop drinking then it's too much.

>What if the Flash was constipated and pushed so hard and fast he gave himself a super hemorrhoid?

The Flash explicitly has the ability to dial stuff like that where he wants it. It's not just on all the time. Hulks can't get drunk, though.

I actually thought El Hazard did a decent job on how the strength character would only have his powers when he was sober

The Flash can control the speed of his metabolism, like he can control the speed of anything else. He also has the option of running of, pooping and returning so quickly no one notices with almost anyone.

Didn't she learn that specific ninjutsu because her father was a raging alcoholic and she hated his guts and swore to never be like him? (Hypocritical because she still drinks, but whatever; Empowered is full of awful people.)

If they also process those byproducts quickly, they might not. Wolverine basically drinks every second of the day that he can, and is always ready to go.

>new supers setting
>people wonder amongst themselves why nobody with phasing powers has ever shown up, pretty much every other power from superpower fiction has, so far
>turns out, a few years later, a researcher finds out that there have been dozens, maybe hundreds, of people with phasing powers
>they all disappeared into the middle of the earth the first time they activated their powers, without fail, never came back up
>it just took that long for it to happen while someone else was directly observing

How long would it take to fall through the planet to the other side?

Remember, no terminal velocity.

I'll do some maths and find out, brb

Ok
Earth's radius is 6.371 million meters.
We'll find out how long it takes to fall that amount and double it

Acceleration = 9.8 meters/s/s

assume constant acceleration toward the core.

(S*V)/2 = D
S = seconds it takes to get to the core
V = velocity when at the core
D = distance to the core

V = 9.8 * S

(S*S*9.8)/2 = 6,371,000
S*S*9.8 = 12,742,000
S*S = 1,300,204.081
S = 1,140.264
minutes = 19

Holy shit, I guessed 20 minutes.

someone tell me if my math is wrong

>shoot MILF Lois dead and Superdad can't shield her on time.
He's only mildly slower than the Flash. Unless someone is dicking with his powers, that should never be an issue.

So at that point where would you end up falling straight through the earth? Would you just stop at the core from equal force from all sides?

HOWEVER

Consider that ALL MATTER in the universe has a gravitational pull. And that pull is not localized to the center of that mass.

This means that when kitty is inside the planet, all the mass of earth above her, as she is falling, is actually pulling her AWAY from the core, slowing her acceleration. And the mass to either side of her isn't pulling her down. I don't know off the top of my head how to include this in my formula, but it basically means that her acceleration would lessen as she approached the core, reaching 0 at the core. Then it would reverse until her velocity returned to 0 (ideally with her at the surface of the other side)

So she'd have to hold her breath for more than 40 minutes to survive the trip.

If she's still effected by gravity, wouldn't she be irradiated to death in seconds anyway?

At the core there would be equal force from all sides. Your acceleration would be 0. But your VELOCITY (speed) would NOT be 0, it would be a very big number, since you've been plummeting toward the core the whole time.

Velocity (speed) is how fast you are moving
or, the rate at which you move distance
or, the rate at which you change your position.

Acceleration is the rate at which you change your velocity.

What this means is that your velocity would increase continually as you approached the core. Your acceleration (how fast your velocity increases) would decrease as you approached the core (due to less earth below you and more earth behind you) until you hit the core, at which point your acceleration would go "negative" and start DECREASING your velocity.
But your velocity has been increasing all this time, so it's still "above 0", so you still move forward.

It all evens out so that you reach the surface on the other side with a velocity of 0.

Except earth isn't a PERFECT sphere so you'd probably be off by 100 or so feet and either reach 0 velocity too far in the air, or below the crust.
So jump off a skyscraper and bring a parachute.

I don't know how gravity works.

Ah, okay, that's cool.
Thanks based science user

Is India Barry's most favorite place in the world?

My god Sup Forums please never change today was shitty day and this thread just give a good chuckle

You two are saying the same thing, he's saying he doesn't want realism to apply at all, because once you do it just spirals out of control. You fricking things...

Kitty holds her breath while phasing or doesn't breathe?

>superhero doesn't succumb to the peer pressure of drugs or alcohol because of his powers
I like this trope because it encourages a positive life-style choice amongst the youth who reads these comics not unlike the Flash shitting at the speed of light on every panel.

Makes sense with metabolism stuff. I always liked how the 90s Flash show showed that Barry had a really huge appetite, and when he didn't eat enough he'd pretty much pass out

How do you think the speedforce works? The Flash is propelling himself on methane alone!

She can selectively phase only part of per body, user.

>reddit and memey
kil self