Cinema LIES

What was the most disappointing movie of your childhood?


This piece of shit, "Kangaroo Jack", that was fucking bullshit.

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youtu.be/1Zt3crV_KIA
youtube.com/watch?v=SuyLeUjuT_k
youtube.com/watch?v=wc1mL4Qlgq4
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangaroo_Jack:_G'Day_U.S.A.!
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I never saw it, but I heard it was a bait and switch. They marketed the movie as a goofy jumping kangaroo and it wasn't even in the movie like that.

Hi Doug

one of the best movies i have ever seen

>that was fucking bullshit.
why

Oldfag here, and for me it was the Super Mario Brothers movie

You poor son of a bitch I can't even fuckin imagine.

It was a good movie though

not the OP, but for one thing the trailer makes it seem like it's a movie about a goofy CGI kangaroo. But that whole segment was just a dream sequence or something and the movie is about these 2 other dudes that hit a kangaroo by accident or someshit

very lovecraftian

The American Godzilla.

The trailers did a good job not showing what he'd look like, but still showing us that he'd look different.

Then more than half the movie is Jurassic Park.

hahaha. thats pretty sad.

You just made me remember being mad about this.

I liked it
youtu.be/1Zt3crV_KIA

youtube.com/watch?v=SuyLeUjuT_k

we went to the video store with my father i wanted to see dick tracy, that movie with warren beatty and madonna. we found it but something was wrong, the cover featured a cucked dick tracy looking dumb as hell holding a small gun, not the big mafia gun i saw in the ads. we rented it anyways.

came home, put it in the VCR and it was the black and white oldass series from the 60s, 50s or god knows what retarded lame era. i was pissed as fuck.

The did the same thing with Snow Dogs. They marketed the movie as a guy getting a bunch of sledding dogs that wink and talk and shit, but that part was just a dream sequence and the dogs are just normal dogs in the actual movie.

I finally watched Amadeus last year and pop culture had led me to believe "rock me Amadeus" would play at some point

looool why do they do that. i would set the cinema on fire if i get faced to this.

well i recall the new godzilla had BRYAN HEISENBERG CRANSTON FROM EMMY WINNER SHOW BREAKING BAD SCIENCE BITCH!. then he died like 20 minutes into the movie. he was like a very very side character.

Some of the older kids were making fun of me for liking Are You Afraid of the Dark and told me I should watch Tales From the Crypt. I begged and begged my mom to get it for me. So she went to the rental store and picked up Tales From the Hood.
>uh, here's your video user
youtube.com/watch?v=wc1mL4Qlgq4

Prometheus
It promised answers and all I got was more questions disguised as answers and a sequel bait that telling me "we're going to answer the questions that we promised to reveal in Prometheus, in the next film" and by that Ridley meant, David taking a big shit on a city of engineers and killing them off and promising answers in the next film, are you noticing a trend?
I'm sure he'll keep this going until he dies or Fox doesn't let him do alien movies anymore or it gets rebooted with Emilia Clark as Ellen Ripley, and she's written like modern female character and the film completely misses the male rape undertones, and and more witty one liners and zero fear being expressed from our lead

I didn't start criticizing movies until I was a teenager. When I was a kid I'd watch and enjoy pretty much anything.

Oh 90s, you so racist

lmaoooo ahahha

video rentals had some hilarious counterfeit shit. this one always cracked me up.

That's a lot of fish

the only thing wrong with kangaroo jack is that there is too little of kangaroo jack singing. i wanna see more jack-a-roo singing! he's so cute. i want to sex him.

"the 90's sucked"

I respect your upset with Prometheus, justified as it is- but you gotta have something from way back when dawg.

And then they kill the fucking dogs. I remember my dad telling me he liked that movie when it was over but I wasn't having any of that shit.

Disregard me, I'm a retard. I was thinking of Eight Below.

Batman & Robin
I had a feeling it was gonna be kinda bad... but... damn.

I remember not knowing what the fuck to think. It was just odd.

Even as a kid I knew it was a bad JP knockoff and felt cheated.

Don't worry, I was looking at your post but too afraid to say anything because I don't remember. I was just going to take your word for it lol

Having this toy as a kid made up for anything wrong with Godzilla 1998.

Nigga...that is one of the funniest movies ever made. I saw it when I was 8 and laughed my ass off. Sure the design of the avenging zombie spirt thing kind of scared me...but I still laughed at it

Seriously guys...can this really be topped???

>Destroy all expectations

...i never noticed that

I had something like that but for some reason it had an awkward handle on his back with two triggers that controlled his tail and feet or something.

good fucking god it was bad

The first one is still one of the best vidya game movies.

The Nutty Professor, the trailer showed Eddie Murphy like a giant fat man on the city, I thought it would be a fun sci-fi movie, but no...

Reminder they released this a year later to appease the people who thought the first movie would have the kangaroo in a bigger role.

I still enjoyed it as a kid but mostly because of the movie's toys

Get out of my head user

Amadeus is still god tier as is that song

Cringe Kino

Fun fact: all the cast members from Eight Below are dead now

overall shit movie but pretty good scene desu
it gave me a mild boner

Wait, it wasn't about him having fun sci fi hijinks while being a fat fuck?
I never watched it myself but I remember trailers for it years ago and getting an awkward boner from the trailer for the sequel with the grandma dropping her towel.

I watched this shit four times on the 24 hour airplane trip to australia.

I laughed quite hard at this scene.

>Fucking...JUST...

>G'Day U.S.A.
Nowadays SJWs would give you shit for stereotyping.

It's sad that this shitty movie is more watchable than most superhero movies of the past two years

I haven't seen it in years, but it was about him taking this chick out to a nightclub he liked, and the standup comedian made fun of him for being fat. So he got super pissed off and developed this formula for making himself skinny. Then he became super skinny and was a total fucking dickhead. Then he tried to separate the dickhead part of himself out, but he escaped and it started making his fat self dumber.

Rock me Amadeus came BECAUSE of the movie

Ehhhhh...i don't know if I can agree with that.

They kind of did the same thing with Mother. It's marketed as a weird horror thriller, but really it's an arthouse film with horror themes.

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kangaroo_Jack:_G'Day_U.S.A.!

Why the fuck is the wiki page so long