you guys really aren't being fair there are a few details you have to take in consideration when talking about the mart sharting epidemic sweeping america
people who shart in marts generally
>are old people, they cant control their movemens like young people >are obese, they cant wipe properly >live in the south with warm weather >are on a diet pill that makes you shart frequently >the sharts are greasy and you cant really feel them >the shart mixes with sweat and stains through clothing
only about 30% of the diet pill users experienced uncontrollable sharts but it has been recalled and reformulated. The new version will be released in the 3rd quarter of 2017 so it wont be an issue anymore.
i just wanted to set the record straight about mart sharting
>people who shart in marts generally >seven criteria >none of them is, "are simply regular Americans".
Missed the most obvious one there, Jim.
Luis Russell
I think you've put a lot of thought in to this. Also, Coors Light will make you shit yourself. It's hand-egg season. Shit for thought.
Noah Gonzalez
We have obese people, old people and here is hot af but we still don't have shart in mart Fuck off
Anthony Lewis
And? There are old fat people in warm countries that also take diet pills and greasy food without sharting a single time.
Arguement dismissed. Keep sharting your fucking marts proudly if it gives you happiness. At least the rest of the civilized world can hold their bowels long enough to find a toilet to shit in.
Leo Hughes
I would imagine there is a large amount of sharts happening in your part of the world. Is it hard to keep colon control after your somalis have stretched you out?
Adam Campbell
Now the real question is. Is it considered patriotic to shart in mart. Will we be seeing potential presidents showing their solidarity and sharting in mart on their campaign tours?
Jack Watson
...
William Nelson
We usually shit on the Somali' dicks though when they put it in. They don't even notice it because they already look and smell like shit beforehand. No need for sharting over here.
Angel Parker
kek.
I like the cut of your jib, Ragnar.
Noah Gonzalez
I.am. American and I shit my pant one time. I farted and the shart juice went on my shorts and bed sheets. I folded everything up , put it in the trash, showered and put on fresh undies.
You poor foreigners laugh about shart in Mart, but at least I'm free and can afford new clothes . You probably all hang your shart clothes out to dry in front of your single window 10 square foot apartments.
Brody Davis
tends to be we don't shart on our clothes in the first place.
William Wright
I thought we solved the share in mart mystery
Some diet pills that disrupt fat absorption but only work if you lay off fast food and eat healthy?
Fat Fucks take it and get seeping diarrhea because they continue gorging on burgers
Sound familiar?
Don't get me wrong it's still funny, and I'm an American. To be fair though, I have been lucky to never witness this phenomenon.. course I stay away from Walmart as much as I can.
John Rodriguez
of course we don't believe literally all of you shit yourselves in public. we're still gonna rip the piss out of you for it for the banter though. fuck all else to do here till another happening or the election, whichever comes first.
Jayden Butler
That's implying that we Europeans shart our pants in the first place. Because we don't. Besides, you could spend that money on something you want instead of wasting money on new pants because you sharted them like the retard you are.
Adrian Martinez
Not accurate. I don't take diet pills, eat burger all day, or hang out with impoverished fat people. But all of my friends and myself included have at least one bad shart experience.
I think it's ingrained in our culture. Live free and shart.
Aiden Moore
>diet pill
Why would you willingly give yourself brain aneurysm?
Nicholas Nelson
Kek, Europoort can't even afford to shart. You'd all be pantsless if you did.
I'm sure your royalty were serial sharters, but now youre too poor and uninfluential to do shit.
Brandon Howard
To add to the OP, seeing people with shitstained pants isn't something you see every day here. I literally work at a Wal-Mart and I've only seen it a few times since I started here last December.
Brody Ramirez
The question is, does he include the "New Swedes" in his assessment of European shittery? They do make up 2/3rds of his nation, after all.
Julian White
>only seen it a few times >since I started here last December
I have lived in the Netherlands for all my 25 years and I haven't seen it ever in my life.
Mart sharting is quintessentially American
Jack Powell
Mass organization subconsciously loosens people's bowels. Look it up, senpai.
