Just over a week into the semester

>just over a week into the semester
>university police have already reported 2 sexual assaults
>suspect in both cases described as "dark complexioned male"
>mfw

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no body cares brandon
go eat your parsnips and watch latina anal porn you fucking faggot

>see university alert about a girl getting groped by "middle eastern male"
>didn't think there were any here but apparently the only one happens to be a rapist
>what a surprise

fuck i have to ta my first lab in like 8 hours. its 2 am and im freakin out. fucking kill me im going to go full autism. jesus fuck kill me

just sleep and relax. It'll be fine.

FUCK I ALSO HAVE SHIT TO DO

why did i stay up jo'ing to latina anal porn

>TA
Why do people do this? Is the pay decent or is it a requirement for some upper level degrees? My masters program has nothing like this.

Entire time I was at university, every single alert over the span of 4-5 years was about a "Dark complexioned male wearing a hoodie" or "Hispanic male wearing a hoodie" sexually assaulting girls in the parking garage. Every Single Time. Get used to it. Also get used to every sexual assault related group on campus blaming white males for the crimes, and using whites as poster rapists because it's 2016.

i need money. my stipend is 1600 a month. im trying to become a normie too. need to start going to the gym but since I basically have to interact with people on a daily basis and give fuck loads of presentations it helps my shitty social skills

Go to UT in Austin. Last semester this beautiful theater chick went missing. Someone found a body in a creek on campus with their face so badly bashed in they weren't recognizable.

Video footage shows said theater girl walking through campus at night being followed by a nigger with a hammer. And the real kicker is: he didn't just rape her, he stole her fuggin bike!

I have to TA for a year mandatory for my PhD, it's pretty fun being around all the 18 year old qts. My department is Asian as fuck so I'm sure all of my students appreciate having a TA they can actually understand

*slow claps*

*steps out of the shadows*

Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...

But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.

And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :^). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.

See you on the boards...

>university police take careful time to remind us that being drunk is not asking to be raped
every time

>2 sexual assaults, 10k students
>1 in 5

>girl is drunk, not responsible for actions
>guy is drunk, responsible for his own actions as well as any females around him

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future

If two drunk lesbians have sex, which one is the rapist?

get the fuck back to Redddit you fat fedora degenerate scum

>it's a Bernie sticker episode
Every single day.

>live in 98% white area
>Large number of rapes in different towns
>"All suspects are believed to be tanned or dark skinned males"

Mfw

I'm a USC fag. We usually get one crime-related incident a week (we receive notifications by email) since we're basically in south central LA. 99% of the time I shit you not the description of the perpetrator is of a nigger.

Here's one from just 3 days ago.

I am all for white female college students getting diversified.