Welcome to the jungle starts playing

>welcome to the jungle starts playing
youtube.com/watch?v=qR1EM-RIZNk&t=0s

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Can't be worse than this hack.

>better run through the jungle starts playing

Looks litty!

Anyone else expect Sayid and Shannon to come running out of the woods during some of those clear mountain shots?

They are releasing this the same week as Star Wars.

What a disaster.

This film ought to have died with Robin Williams

Is he gonna make a cameo at least?

>karens too dressed/10

>they all have 'lives'
>potential for Karen Gillian getting eaten alive/drowning in quicksand/getting sliced apart at least a couple of times
Boy howdy I mean gee willickers aint that something and a half

So is this a reboot or a sequel to Zathura?

Will there be a KStew sequel?

holy fuck are you serious? This is going to be bomb-kino. It'll make baywatch look like a moderate success

not gonna lie, I pissed myself while watching that trailer.

Will watch just for Karen's midriff

The critics will HATE this movie, but I'm sure the FANS will LOVE IT because they know that The Rock is gonna drop the SMACKDOWN on Jack Black and the tiny black man IF YA SMELLLLLLLL... WHAT THE ROCK... IS COOKIN'

Reminder that The Rock and Jack Black were in star trek

...uh... i kinda doubt it

looks like the beggining of the end for Le Rock

>eats cake
>fucking explodes
Minor kek.

Also the opening with the uncovering of the Board Game and the "TWO DECADES AGO" shit reminded me far too much of that one awful Ghostbusters trailer.

Fat guy is overdressed. He will die of heat exhaustion.

...

why would you shit on a classic by making this monstrosity

Because THE MILLIONS (and millions) of The Rock's FANS are sick and TIRED of the same candy ass movies. The Rock says that movies need to be LITTY and his fans will PISS all over the room when they watch Jumanji, IF YA SMELLALALALALALALALOW... WHAT THE ROCK... IS COOKIN'

youtube.com/watch?v=Wss_Jf9ZQK8

That was the Rock's plan all along.

rip karen asshole

tagline:

in the jungle they must wait until someone reaches level 5 or 8

>is the """valet"""
>gets """carried by a strong white man"""

>the rock
>white
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

Yup. Literally like a day or two before. I have no idea what the fuck they are thinking. Even though SW is going to be terrible it's still going to destroy the BO. Why you would release anything expensive like this near it is just pure insanity.

I'd never leave.

didnt one of them die?

That was Deadpool

I'D FUCK KAREN SO HARD!!!

WITH MY DICK!! IN HER PUSSY!! ASS!! AND MOUTH!!!

FUCK HER HARD!!! THEN RUB MY DICK ALL OVER HER BODY!! COVERING HER IN SEMEN!!

If you know what I mean.

>If you know what I mean.
I have no idea what you man, can you elaborate?

Literal fantasy

great bellies

*tummies

...

t. Kevin Hart

my nigger

looks h*lla f*king epic

>Look more like Lara Croft tgan the new star of the actual Tomb Raider Movie
What went wrong?

easy there gurofag

if its a kid's movie, its gonna make bank

also, watching karen run made by dead cock stir

...

>no ass

L

>no taste

I have an idea, how about we all go watch this instead of Star Wars

sure

I don't get it, is this the same game or a different game? Why are there helicopters and bikes? Why is there people walking about with their own culture? Nothing like the original from what we know about jumunji. This seems like reboot not a sequel.

The trailer implies that the game morphed itself to a video game to appeal to hip young teens of the 80's.

>no child bearing hips

whitebois have no taste

That aint jumanji

Well I watched Selfie for Karen, might as well watch this one movie too.

What did he mean by this?

>Why is there people walking about with their own culture
wut

The black guy didn't turn into a monkey. Wasted potential desu

somebody post here bare ass webm. it's non-existent

why the rock would turn into a monkey

WELL SINCE ROCKS BABY LEFT HIM

HE'S FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL

IT'S DOWN AT THE END OF JABRONI DRIVE IN

[SPOILER]SMACKDOWN HOTEL[/SPOILER]

Selfcest kino

There's shit loads people with trading markets wearing various clothes and all sorts of weird shit and modern vehicles. In the original it's implied the forest is a grim unforgiving place and everyday is a fight for survival with few people.

I doubt people in their 40s will go see this film in big numbers

this feels like it has nothing in common with 95 version

booooooriiiiiiiiiing
thats the old jum

You know, normally when it comes to skinny girls, I'd rather imagine ejaculating on them rather than in them. I tend to reserve my fantasies of dumpling a bag-load inside thicc women, but in Karen Gillen's case I think I would make an exception. No idea why.

dude depression lmao

patrician taste

This had so much potential to get deep into the dark lore but instead DUDE KEVIN HART LMAO

He will definitely come hang around

>play rising storm Vietnam
>welcome to the jungle starts playing

>white men
>dont want children
>nigger
>interested in 'child bearing hips'
>doesnt raise his children
ironic isnt it?

Cool, I hope I can hold my breath long enough til then.

>killing black man in trailer
nice

gif redhead threesum

>a fucking video game
What ere they thinking? The concept of a board game was so much better

Holy shit. I thought you were just kidding.

>qt redhead is now qt redhead
whoa

>This might be a good film
>I might actually enjoy something

There comes a time when a man must determine how best to preserve his lineage, and doing so requires choice of a healthy bearer of one's seed.

Thin girls are for fun, T H I C C girls are for breeding.

My initial reaction as well. At least a board game is the kind of plausible that allows for suspense of disbelief, drawing on tropes of ancient mysterious magic/mysticism and such.

But this? A fucking video game from a couple decades ago?

The original Jumanji was a kids movie that adults could enjoy, or at least not fall asleep through. This is corporate nu-Disney style trash.

>classic

Wait they found the board game and then it becomes a vidiogame?

this looks visually awful, like a soap opera.

damn straight

Well, looks like I know which movie I'm going to see this Christmas

this movie is going to be utter shit isn't it