You realize you are on the new To Catch a Predator

>You realize you are on the new To Catch a Predator

>You realize everyone on Sup Forums will see it and mock you

>What do you do while on the show to make it worthwhile?

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IRL Sneedpost just to fuck off that anti sneedposter that's worse than the sneedposting

Fuck the decoy

Like in a moment before anyone can react have my boner burst out of my pants and cram it in her 34 year old preteen mouth

Kek

say you only pretended to get to meet him to tell him he's doing a fantastic job

Rape Chris

Didn't they cancel that show when they caused a politician or something to kill himself?

say I'm a big guy for little girls, scream wubalubadubdub or bazinga any time chris tries to talk and then tell him and the fbi that reddit made me a pedo before shooting myself in the help.

slowly walk up to Hanson, "I'm came here to see you."
we passionately kiss and I sweep the Mike's Hard Lemonade to the floor as we continue to make out on the bench top.
Hanson grabs my crotch, "You're a big guy..."
I look at the camera and say....

You wish, pedo

assume powerstance, make it clear that I'm in charge here, tell Hansen to take a seat and call it in

I would say this:
>I'm queer. I'm gay. I'm homosexual. I'm a poof, I'm a poofter, I'm a ponce. I'm a bumboy, baddieboy, backside artist, bugger. I'm bent. I am that arsebandit. I lift those shirts. I'm a faggot-ass, fudge-packing, shit-stabbing uphill gardener. I dine at the downstairs restaurant, I dance at the other end of the ballroom. I'm Moses and the parting of the red cheeks. I fuck and I am fucked. I suck and I am sucked. I rim them and wank them, and every single man's had the fucking time of his life.

How would you fit bane posting into TCAP

Give me your best banepost you'd say to Hansen

I'd banepost to the decoy, to get him to read it out. Imagine him saying 'You told her you were a big guy for her. What exactly did you mean by that?'

>go to '''16 year old twink's'''' house knowing it's a decoy, when Chris asks me what I'm doing in a minor's house with condoms tell him he sounded like a big guy on internet.

...

sheev spin towards Chris

>Chris Hansen comes out
>Why don't you have a seat
>Get really nervous but realize I will mine the most of it
>Look into the camera
>Chris, do not interrupt me!
>WHAT DOTH LIFE
>To catch a Predator! Formerly Sneed's, brought to you by Big Guy Chris Hansen. Very lovecraftian Nolanesque, with a slice of Kubricky, not enough Kafkaesque. Into the trash it goes!

This.

literally just recite the entire opening of TDKR
it's the only option

although, having said that, the last thing you want is to associate baneposting with paedophilia
so actually, maybe just go on how baneposting is ruining the internet, but refuse to elaborate on what baneposting is when Chris inevitably asks

>constantly write "Wow! Nothing gets me hotter than a LEGAL ADULT pretending to be a minor! This roleplay is SO HOT!" in the chat
>ask to come over because its your sexual fantasy to have sex with a legal adult who's pretending to be a minor
>arrive at the house on a very small moped
>ride through the door into the house
>"Here I am, ready to have sex with a legal adult who's pretending to be a minor!"
>grab some cookies and ice tea
>Chris Hansen appears
>"Would you like to ha-" BRUUUUUMMM-BRUM-BRUM-BRUUUUMMM
>interrupt Chris Hansen every time he tries to speak by loudly revving the engine
>when he's finished ride my moped out of the house and do donuts in the yard
>don't even get charged because I said I knew I was talking to a legal adult

renact the first scene of TDKR

What is the longest time you could spend in the house with Chris before the cops come in? Has anyone ever just stayed in the house?

a few have tried cause they knew they were gonna be arrested and Chris had to basically force them out
but I've never seen the cops enter except if the perp is considered a threat

you wouldn't even have to type it

you could just say you thought you were in a roleplay chat where she (or he) pretended to be underage

>implying they'd invite you round in that circumstance
christ you're an idiot

>Chris had to basically force them out
Any particular ones you'd like to link?

>you could just say you thought you were in a roleplay chat where she (or he) pretended to be underage
TWO WORDS

>we've already gone through the chatlogs. "i'd like to feed and seed you"? i'm not even sure what that means. does it have anything to do with these crab legs you brought?

>TWO WORDS

what?

Rape Chris Handsome.

ROLEPLAYING CHATROOMS, DAWG.

you are a true hero user

youtube.com/watch?v=rRL050LcYxk

that's three

SNEEDPOST AND THROW A SHOUT OUT TO MY BROS AT REDDIT WUBBA DUB CHUCK AMIRITE REDDITBROS???

That's impossible, the SWAT will outrun a fat fuck like yourself.

I didn't came here to have 'sex'.
I came here with a basket full of hardboiled eggs and I'm not leaving until they have all been eaten.
Open your mouth, Chris Hanson, open and EAT. THE. EGGS.

holey moley, now that's a power move.

ITS JUS TALKING

>PaRtY RoCkErS In ThE HoUsE tOnIgHt

>dab dab dab

>the segment talks about my extensive cum tribute picture album of the bait

>talk about how ive been practicing vape tricks for 15 minutes, while continually cutting chris off to get back on track about the vape topic

>ask him if hes seen any good kino's lately

>ask him when my cunny waifu is coming

Underrated post

"Call out to my fellow cunny connaisseurs on Sup Forums! I made it, brehs!"

Came here just to post this.
Id fuck his sexy ass like no one has ever done before.

considering he's a huge faggot, that'd be all but impossible

>see Chris Hanson walk out
>grab the tray of cookies and milk
>run out the door
>dodge the ghile suit swat officer
>throw the cookies at the swat dogs
>never stop running

someone show me the law where it's illegal to talk dirty to a 30 year old pretending to be a teenager. or the law where it's illegal to show up to bang an adult pretending to be a teenager.

Most of these guys get let go for 'entrapment'

That's still kinda fucked up, honestly.

Oh boy, here we go

>look at the camera
>you may be wondering how I ended up here...

Go google "online solicitation of a minor." Some states don't have such statutes. hansen and perverted justice operate only in states that do.

Virginia has a really fun statute where asking a girl to fuck, online, where it can be argued you believed the girl was under 18, is 20 years in prison just about automatically.

Going to the house, though, is never a crime, for if it were the show would be pure entrapment.

the real predators are the people running the show. these poor guys are just lonely losers. most of them i bet didn't give a fuck what age they were, probably even wished they were legal but were so stoked a female was willing to fuck them they just said screw it and rolled the dice. look at these guys, they are like a stereotype of an r9k autist. no one was ever going to fuck them, least of all a teenage girl. there was maybe 1 or 2 actual pedo's they caught i'm sure by accident, and dozens of lonely desperate guys that just wanted to get some fuck from anyone who would do it.

Start talking about the jews and Kekistan so Sup Forumsfags get charicaturized as pedophiles.

i'm actually fairly sure being a nazi is considered worse then being a pedo these days. I don't think the left can hate anyone they consider a nazi any more then they already do.

I wonder what would happen if you had a contingency plan for getting caught on TCAP.

Like you wrote up a small manifesto about how evil the program was, and that you were going to be a martyr by finding and killing Chris Hansen, and you bring you gun as a contingency plan.

Then, when you get stinged, you give him a little speech about how evil the program is, mention that it was all a ploy to meet him alone, face to face and the shoot him. Fast enough that the cops outside don't get you first.

I wonder if you could get the pedophilia charges dropped and replaced with murder instead.

being racist won't automatically get you sent to jail and ruin your life completely forever.

it absolutely can in parts or europe, and if some people have their way in the US as well soon enough.

They'd smile, nod, and send you to jail. Because the stings are built around ensuring you've committed a crime before so much as leaving your (mom's) house. Getting you to the house is just to get you on camera for some free schadenfreude based infotainment.

>europe

pretty irrelevant as pedophilia is one of the cornerstones of european history.

>It was written meaning it would be very painful for her
>but I interpreted it as I'm a big guy according to her point of view

and being racist is one of the cornerstones of US history.

so both points are pretty much non-starters.

yea im guessing the majority of the guys send nude pics

not even necessary

Literally can't even remember what it was, that's how forgettable rises was.

this has to be b8

Wouldn't that just give him more fuel since you make sneedposters look like pedos?

Claim to be Muslim. Accuse the show for being Islamaphobic. Walk out like a boss.

Would do it.

>forgetting the greatest scene in the history of cinema

youtube.com/watch?v=VRCM0jWEQjQ

he's an 'unenlightened' guy.

>take Hansen hostage
>demand a jet
>filled to the brim with little boys
>along with enough vidya games and two kegs of beer
>a pilot that can get to Thailand

WAIT? THERE IS A NEW ONE? Link, please.