The long-gestating “Wheel of Time” TV series adaptation is moving forward with Sony Pictures Television...

The long-gestating “Wheel of Time” TV series adaptation is moving forward with Sony Pictures Television, who will produce along with Red Eagle Entertainment and Radar Pictures. Rafe Judkins is attached to write and executive produce. Judkins previously worked on shows such as ABC’s “Agents of SHIELD,” the Netflix series “Hemlock Grove,” and the NBC series “Chuck.”

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>produced by sony
>agents of shield

Sony made Breaking Bad dude

>it's a fain nails a myrddraal to a door through the spot where its eyes should be episode

this, Sony TV has been around forever and contrary to every other branch of Sony they aren't complete fuckups

the Agents of SHIELD guy being involved though, that...that isn't a good sign

>it's a Green who only bonds shota Warders episode

>it's a Someryn shows an unseemly amount of cleavage episode

>it's a Sevanna gets jealous and just goes topless instead episode
>it's a Sevanna collects gai'shain sex slaves episode

>it's a most powerful woman in the realm speaks in cheesy fishing jargon episode

Yeah I'm thinking this ain't making it pass the pilot episode.

Perhaps a few over the knee spankings of Egwene might peak Sony's interest..

>it's a previous Amyrlin wants to be bedded like a poor fishergirl

How many pups did Noam sire in T'A'R?

>it's an avhienda acts tsundere but deep down wants to polish the dragon reborn 's meat spear episode

How do I get a darkfriend girlfriend who might try and stab me with a dagger so hot?

>it's a Rand and Mat get spanked by Nynaeve for stealing apple brandy flashback

>it's a wealthy Andorman who takes luxury cruises on Seafolk ships just to ogle and fuck the busty brown girls episode

>Mat has a massive preteen boner, gets a spanking fetish

>Mat has a massive preteen boner, gets a spanking fetish

Sounds like Faile. Perhaps it should have been him to marry her instead of "Young Bull".

>ywn have a darkfriend girl try to knife you in a stable
>ywn have a darkfriend girl try to knife you in a tent
not being mat is suffering

>ywn be never a merchant crossing the Aiel waste and invited into the Maiden's sweat tent for giving them water.

>ywn be handsome or wealthy enough to be living furniture for Graendal's huge, juicy ass

Did Graendal shave? Did anyone other than the Aiel shave?

>ywn be 10/10 rich and powerful and fail, almost imperceptibly, to perform an almost impossible acrobatic feat and be subject to execution then be reborn in the same Age later only to be mindcontrolled and executed again for the same failure forever

Well most of the male forsaken shaved their beards, it's safe to assume the women shaved their legs n pots as well. Then again...

>not wanting to shove your face into Lanfears hairy, sweaty pits, drinking in the earthy aroma in the hot desert heat

>ywn sniff Berelain's asshole

I'm only on book five, don't spoil too much. The forsaken are easily the best part of the series.

I bet it wouldn't smell like anything. Maybe powder.

>ywn sniff Morgase's hairy red asshole

>The forsaken are easily the best part of the series
Without spoiling too much: lel, they're a bunch of fucken chumps

t. not Eamon Valda

*pique

Who would have the best asshole?

You know the timid assistant of the chick who forkrooted the girls in Amadicia? I'd like to test out hers

>it's a Balthamel the womanizer gets a woman's body episode
>it's a Graendal the beautiful keikaku master gets a hag's body and becomes a retard episode
life is unfair

>it's a Morraine gets triggered by people not following plans she didn't bother explaining episode

It will not and cannot ever be good. Anyone who has ever really read WoT and loved it knows it for a fact. Too many storylines, too many characters to explore and the story doesn't work without them. It encompasses too much shit. You could never put it on television, it just doesn't translate to the medium.

Not to mention the fact channeling can not be portrayed properly on live TV.

Would smell like a shit and blood from being worn out.

Finn Wolfhard as Wheel of time

>channeling can not be portrayed properly on live TV
That's easy, just delete all channeler POVs and make everything from the perspective of muggles

Dumai Wells from any perspective is impossible

Masses of people being torn to shreds is perfectly doable. The only challenging thing about channeling portrayal is weaving and that can be eschewed by making Ewin Finngar and Min the main characters.

Isn't that every Aviendha episode? Not that that's a bad thing, she's built for sex and babymaking.

>and then play Maiden's Kiss all night
Jordan left way too much out about the details of that game.

Weaving is doable, but the scale of the massacres and scenes is too grand. You'd need thousands of people being torn to shreds, spectacular fireballs, thunder, erupting ground. If you didn't have that the main point of the power would be totally lost. Many of the developments hinge on it. Not to mention healing, delving, having to do the aes sedai ageless thing for many of the characters and much, much more.

Reminder that the Age of Legends humanity had reached other planets and dimensions, and possibly even colonised them.

The ageless thing is the big one, I'm honestly not sure how they'd be able to display it.

Mandatory sculptra, botox and facelifts in all Aes Sedai actress contracts

>weaving is doable but carnage is not
I don't understand your point of view at all.

>ywn lick the sweat from a Maiden's asscrack, playing the Maiden's kiss with her anus, while another Maiden does the same to you

It's not just about them looking young. They look 20 one moment, 30 the next, then 25, then 40, then 20, then 18, then 45, then back to 20... it continually changes.

By weaving I assumed you meant how they would explain it - i.e. you'd technically just see people standing there looking (some maybe waving hands) and random explosions. Wards would be really fucking awkward since you'd have to have a character voice that they'd made a ward every time. It would look dopey as shit when somebody gets whipped by air (happens a lot after all) or the bombarding from Callandor and so on. The mechanic of it. Which I think they can work around by incorporating hand gestures, maybe even having air shit be visible or something.

The carnage that is done with it in key points like Dumai wells and such, I think is not. Half the shit Rand does would look retarded on live TV.

Aiel butches surround you and put spears to your throat and you kiss each one in succession. If you satisfy them, they draw the spears away slightly. If you don't, they push the spears in a bit more.

There are hundreds of aes sedai, a lot of them key characters. You're gonna manage to have them all look ageless?

Lets face it, there is one single solution - CGI over their faces at all times. Which is ludicrous as an undertaking.

Technology isn't at a point where we could have a WoT live TV series look good. Even if we disregard the whole fact it all just translates fucking horribly to TV.

Its the same problem as War and Peace. How many adaptations have been made and how many are successful? And the successful ones are bastardized and remade. WoT on the other hand, if it gets bastardized or remade, will simply just not work. It's a whole thing, it's one big circle (ironically) that feeds into itself. Every plot point is absolutely key, everything is tied. You start cutting stuff, it falls.

> I sure hope the trollocs dont look too fake.

You just know it involves sex with every Maiden playing.

Mat's explanation has too many holes in it. A ring of a dozen Maidens around sunset. They "just take a kiss" and if you're good they lighten the spears, if you're bad they press harder. Okay, fair enough. And Mat doesn't have any nicks or cuts, BUT he didn't get to bed until dawn, and he mentions seeing another Maiden later who "had been the first to collect a forefeit" from him. It doesn't take twelve hours to kiss twelve women once each.

>tfw Mat spent all night moving from maiden bed to maiden bed

Weaving can be done by animating thousands of CGI threads into different complex patterns and arrangements, but that's something you need on a movie budget to do episode after episode after episode. The PoV thing works for the first book or so because none of the PoV characters can channel yet, so it really should look more like Moiraine just working some crazy magic.

No, they leave too much information out for that to be all it involves. You do have to piece it together, but there are giant time gaps that aren't explained by the game as Mat explains it to the Tairens.

Sculptra and botox don't make you look young, but they do give you an ageless quality. The few who get stilled can just get replaced by new actresses, no big deal.

BLOOD AND BLOODY ASHES

>NOT BASED HOPPER, LOIAL and Gaul BURN ME LAD, YOU SOUND LIKE A DARFRIEND

JUST LIKE MY SEANCHAN CARTOONS!!

I guess I'll just have to take your word for it?

Yeh, the first book could easily be done. The second until about the end too. And then you've played yourself, because they give one feel and then it goes into a totally different direction.

>a movie budget to do episode after episode after episode

More, I think you simply couldn't do it justice. And if you didn't it all falls apart. Powerlevels are a crucial thing in WoT, how can you have Rand totally outclass what was shown at Dumai Wells or by T'aim or some such? How can you even at all describe or do justice to the cleansing of Saidin?

There's only one single solution possible, an animated series in the first place.

Not really. Mat gives the rules of the game in one chapter, but right after saying "just a kiss nothing more" he recollects that he didn't get to his bed until dawn, and he'd been going to play cards at sunset/dinner.

He also sees another Maiden later in the Waste and thinks to himself that she was "the first" to collect a forfeit from him. The hints are there, but hidden in plain sight much like some of Jordan's other fetish elements.

>NOT BASED HOPPER, LOIAL and Gaul

Pleb choices trying to seem edgy by picking the characters any 4channer would pick to appear special.

>le unassuming minor bro character only I and I alone can appreciate

Best characters include Lan, Galad "the only good channeler is dead" Damodred, Nynaeve the only woman in the series who becomes LESS of a bitch as opposed to more and others.

Given everything else from the series, it's highly likely Mat was plowing them all, maybe in the butt.

I also know a TV series would mess things up with how different countries and cultures look and act.

Yep and the culture and specificities are absolutely integral to the story. You'd need to explore all of them, which just doesn't translate well to the medium.

Hopper saved us all, Gaul went out like ea fucking champion, and poor loial had the worst fate.

he had to get married.

Erin had very LEWD EARS

>Tam is white
>rand is black
>tam is poisoned and hallucinating
>"i just found the babe on the battle field it's not like I could leave him there."
>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT YOUR SON"

>Nynaeve the only woman in the series who becomes LESS of a bitch as opposed to more
Moiraine.

Nynaeve is definitely best girl though.

>I said I'd take you to the Borderlands, I didn't say where in the Borderlands
>you're going to promise me that anybody who wants to ride with you, can ride with you
>spends the next week jumping ahead of him to ensure EVERYBODY knows what's happening
>"My husband Lan Mandragoran rides towards Tarwin's Gap, towards Tarmon Gai'don. Does he ride alone?"
>"No, my lady, he does not ride alone."

>The Golden Crane flies for Tarmon Gai'don

So you're saying that Maiden's Kiss is actually a game where a group of Aiel surround a man at spearpoint and force him to agree to have sex? I don't believe that is supported by the text.

Maidens are almost universally /fit/, generally not old (most of the older ones die, Sulin etc. are exceptions), and are also tall Amazonian esque women.

Are you saying a man wouldn't be intrigued by this game?

>tfw the men who followed Lan began to fall one by one

>implying a man would have a choice to play this game or not
I'm just skeptical of this specific interpretation seeing as how no textual evidence has been presented. The argument seems weak.

The bigger problem is the lack of actual busty characters for TV. No Berelain, no Lanfear, no Selucia, no Sevanna, etc. They'd all be as busty as Dany, which is to say very flat.

You know they'd forget the different accents from each country too, instead of random generic British like in GoT.

youtube.com/watch?v=C9XQDofW17A

It was their choice, user. Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain. And they chose their duty.

the Crowbar version of "No Quarter" should play during that. youtube.com/watch?v=fasyYUPxCD4

I just want a series about Semirhage experimenting on people in the Age of Legends. Fuck the 3rd Age

What evidence would you like? Look at Mat's early chapters in Book 4 (specifically the card game he plays with Tairens) for the first parts, I don't have a copy near me right now. You'll want to dig a bit for the second one, but I think the Aiel Maiden he thinks about specifically is Dorindha? I'll dig a bit and see if I can find it.

I hope they can get the Battle of Cairhien right

True, Moiraine sorta becomes okish I guess. Not that much.

Berelain I think can be done without overly busty, Lanfear is a villain so they can find some big titted woman. I think they can find actresses for Sevanna and Selucia, cause you'll remember most of those are small roles that are gonna be cut to almost nothing (many of them clean cut off) if it were a TV thing.

Its too bad Natalie Dormer is too old, she'd make a fucking killer Elayne.

There'll be one place with generic north accents, don't forget about that. Maybe a Not!Spanish or Not!French.
The rest will be a clusterfuck of varying Midlands and Southern accents, with the odd Welshman, the accent of whom the execs are too stupid to figure out.

>I'll dig a bit and see if I can find it
Please dig a bunch and cite specifics, that would be wonderful!

This series is prime for anime. Get bones to do it. I mean look at their track record and you'd know it's a great fit. Just look at what they turned pic related into. youtube.com/watch?v=kri3hCKtECU

>women get btfo (and also impreganted): The Series
>in the year 2017 of our Lord

yep, that's probably not happening

>This series is prime for anime

I know it is, unfortunately, but please god no just no

t. Robert Jordan

Right, I found the latter one without trouble. Maiden Dorindha, from Chapter 36 of Shadow Rising as noted on the Tor re-read. No direct quote though.

Chapter 2 from Shadow Rising, also from the Tor re-read, is where Mat explains the game, that he had a fistful of spears at his neck. The Tairens ask if that's why he wasn't there that night for their card game, and he very specifically lies that he was playing stones with Thom because he ACTUALLY didn't get to his own bed before dawn from playing the game.

He describes the game as "just a kiss, nothing more" but has no nicks or cuts on his neck (he cut himself worse while shaving, is his remark), but he still literally spent ALL FUCKING NIGHT playing it.

The allusion is blatantly obvious unless you're such a virgin that you think it takes all night to kiss at best a dozen women once. And feel uncomfortable afterwards.

>No direct quote
>Tor re-read
Never mind.

Just please god no anything but that fuck no

It could just as well work as an Avatar-style series, sorta anime westernized thing

user, my copy is literally on a ship somewhere currently crossing the Pacific ocean. I really do wish I had it on hand for you, but I don't.

A large degree of that is in the subtext, though.
A competent enough ruseman could pull the wool over the professional victims' eyes

Avatar TLA is anime. Visually there isn't a studio I can't think of in America who could do it justice. The one power would be put to best use from bones. If you really want to get best of both worlds hire competent american voice actors for the side-characters as well as main ones.

This. Entry-level is thinking the White Tower is feminist fantasy land, reality is realising that it's a giant critique of feminism and all its problems.

>Avatar TLA is anime

Visually and lightly, but its westernized as hell, in a very good way. Anime is a thing of cliches, overuse of tropes and such. TLA has almost none of them, very few of the characters follow an established model - sure, Toph can be taken as tsundere, but she never really lightens on and falls in love with them so much as she becomes a part of the group more organically.

A similar style would fit WoT like a glove.

You should be shot for even suggesting that.

For several other reasons as well

youtube.com/watch?v=uFtfDK39ZhI

It's like you don't think a Japanese studio can avoid most of it's cliches. If it's tailored to foreign audiences, as more shows are starting to be because of global appeal, everything else would come down to the dub to smooth out the rough edges.

Don't worry, the TV show wouldn't understand the several layers of gender politics present and fully show it off as girl power fantasy.

Though despite Ishamael's fucking about with Tar Valon for 3 thousand years, the Aes Sedai have generally kept things decently in control, although it through bullying and extortion using their power.

>It's like you don't think a Japanese studio can avoid most of it's cliches

Sure it can, but then I won't call it anime. I don't care about tailoring my descriptions to suit shitloads of arbitrary rules and tropes made up by people I give no fucks about.

If its full of anime tropes and cliches, in addition to an anime visual style in my opinion. If its an anime-style animation without any of the things that goes into anime, its an animated series.

>If it's tailored to foreign audiences

That means its westernized anime, no? By definition.

lol