Sup Forums writes a sitcom

Honey I'm home!

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youtu.be/3B9PAIMvce8
twitter.com/AnonBabble

our dog Holly has been showing a lot of food aggression lately. Is there anybody we can hire to help straighter her out?

Is that 'Say Goodnight, Gracie'?

Oh great, I thought I had two more hours!
*ahahahahahahaha*

I made dessert! It's pineapple upside down ca- WHOA *slips, drops cake*
I guess it's just pineapple cake now XD

No /swg/ up, so I'm dumping a script I wrote for fun here. It was inspired by the Seinfeld script that was written by the predictive text keyboard. Enjoy!

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Lmao wtf

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I turned myself into a pickle

BACK IN THE 90s

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comedy gold
you sir deserve and oscar

My boss says I won't get the big promotion unless our daughter gets a B+ on her dance exam at homecoming. The only problem is that I need the promotion to afford her polio medication!

>this might be a two parter

That's my catchphrase. This might be a two parter.

But prom is toMORROW!

*Martin Short comes out to thunderous applause*

Did someone "hire a stranger"?

>it's a maybe Santa is real episode

>maybe he is you guys

*cut to daughter's bedroom*

Come on, Connie! Just tell your parents you're sleeping over at my house! I told my parents I was staying with you!

this is my favorite

[Sheldon enters the room]
*Audience cheers and claps*
Sheldon: Tonk'peh user, wanna guess what I've got in this bag beside me?
user: That's a big bag
Sheldon: For you
*Audience chuckles*
user: Well...what's in there?
Sheldon: [pulls a laptop out of his backpack] My new computer, it came with windows 7
*Audience laughs*
Sheldon: Windows 7 is more user friendly than Windows Vista
*Audience begins cheering*
Sheldon: I don't like that
*audience stands up, claps, and laughs as loud as they can*
user: BAZINGLEBOPPER!!! I'M PICKLE RIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!
*Audience claps as screen fades to black*
youtu.be/3B9PAIMvce8

>awkward

Well, well. Look at the city slicker pulling up in his fancy German car.

a smoking cigarettes is bad episode

Look, honey, THIS is NOT a spaghetti, this is a fettuccine!

Whatever you say, smartassini!

>LAUGH TRACK

Hey, is Nora home yet? I told her I wanted to have a family dinner tonight.

Nah, she's with some boy.

>Camera zooms in on father's face who is now doing an over the top angry face

A boy?!?!?

>LAUGH TRACK

What? It's no big deal, someday you're going to accept that your daughter likes boys, Steve.

Well, until the Bills win the Super Bowl, that day AIN'T comin!

>LAUGH TRACK
>Steve grabs his jacket and leaves the house

Where are you going honey? I thought you were cooking your... whateverini.

>LAUGH TRACK

I'm going to pay Nora a little visit

>OOOOOHHHHH TRACK
>Cut to Steve hunched over in a car too small for him
>LAUGH TRACK

Where's that weasel. I bet she's seeing one of THOSE guys...

>Nora walks out of a coffee shop and kisses a black man

JESUS NORA, NOT A FUCKING NIGGER!

>LAUGH TRACK

D'oh!

>LAUGH TRACK
>Cut to Nora talking to her bf

I really enjoyed the coffee Darnell
Ye, it was good, nowam sayin?

>LAUGH TRACK

Shiet, how bout you come back to my place?
Is that in the hood?

>LAUGH TRACK

Nah, I live in a mansion!

>Cut back to Steve

A rich nigger? Oh boy! I can't wait til she gets that BBC!

>LAUGH TRACK
>cut to commercial

10/10 needs more sneed

Neighbor kid has two mommies. The son's room looks directly into the neighbor mommies' bedroom and bathroom.

>It's an user moves in with Chad and splits the apartment in half with ductape episode

Will dad take a side-job with hilarious consequences?

laughed heartily

Can't get a side job until son gets his first kiss. The hallucination of cupid I saw when I ate a pot brownie told me so.

>Melissa, tell me, why would a 10 year old need to take a cucumber to her room?
>Geez mom, I just want to poke my cunny.
>Promise me you won't filth up your new thigh socks or micro skirt.
>Ugh mom.

wow go on

*Adolf Hitler walks in*
Heil Honey, I'm Home.
*picks up bills*
Oh phoey. Who racked up this giant gas bill!
*Eva looks at him and laughs*
You did honey!
*cue laugh track*

>Melissa! Why did you come to the kitchen this late to smoke dad's cigarettes?
>Go away virgin, don't make me blow a fag.
>But you're alrea-
>Sigh, I didn't feel like sucking dick but you won't shut up.
*laugh track*

*allison enters room nervously holding her underwear*
Um dad, something happened..
What happened sweet pea?
*she holds out the panties with shame on her face*
Well what's this now?
*dad takes panties, confused*
I.. made a mess daddy.
Oh honey, this just means you're becoming a woman. See all young girls have this happen when they get older. It's just a part of growing up. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Now run upstairs and get ready for bed and I'll tell you more about it in the morning okay?
Okay daddy
*allison frolics upstairs happily*
*dad slouches into his easy boy, the lights dim*
SNIIIIIIIIIFFFFFF UGHHHHH

>wacky neighbor arrested
>parents don't want to tell kids why

I was having a lot of fun in this thread but somehow it became a thread about little girls I wonder how that happened ?

Begone normalfag.

Could be worse. Could be feet

>meanwhile, upstairs with the bratty step-sibling characters in a B plot

and there it is

>rms enters the room just as credits start rolling
>I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

*audience cheer and whistles*

...

>knock knock
>dear could you get the door for me
>i'm 99% it's the rape convict who got us to sign his papers and who also happened to follow us to the supermarket and back
>c'mon dear
>alright, hello?
>beeeeeeeeeenis peeeeeeeeeeeenis!

>hello Mrs. Maplewood
>it's me Beeeeeeenis
>I've come to tell dad that I don't want to play football
>because
>because I'm
>because
>because I'm a woman now
>meet my friends
>we need a place to live