What a fucking mess

What a fucking mess

It was mostly hit and occasionally miss right up to the end set piece. Merlins end 'moment' set a tone that established a good motivation for other two to deal with the bad guys. It was all in place.....

Then that old pedo fag Elton John happened.

We saw at a packed cinema and there was good will and energy from the audience. This was totally lost when Elton appeared and kept breaking the fourth wall. The mood dropped and all you could hear on the way out was... 'wtf was Elton doing in that film?'

Agreed OP
This film had no clue what it wanted to be

I just came back from cinema. Everyone laughed during almost every Elton John moment.

I think the main reason why the first film worked over this is a summed up in a conparison between two scenes

Kingsman: The Secret Service
>Eggsy has villain who is about to die
>"I suppose this is the part where you make some witty remark about my death"
>"This ain't that kind of movie, bruv"
>Villain dies

Kingsman: The Golden Circle
>Eggsy has villain who is about to die
>Makes small speech about how this is for all the friends the villain killed in the film
>Snaps his neck dramatically

No moreso than the first one was.

>killing an unarmed man in cold blood
>heroic
I had a lot of problems with that moment.

>first movie sucks
>second movie also sucks
Just well-crafted garbage.

>unarmed man
heh

Wasn't terrible, just a poor man's version of the 1st

>First movie
Fun, entertaining spy movie with a unique story and interesting deconstruction of the genre
>second movie
Fun, entertaining spy movie

Actually looks very good.

>dude Trump is evil lmao
>dude Hillary for president lmao
>dude Sweden is cool lmao

Why the fuck would a chip in his neck blow of his arm.
I understand the vocal cords but but the arm how?

Only real problems I had with it were Elton John and the pacing. The movie opens with a big chase scene and then everything slows to a crawl for the next ninety minutes until the last act where they pile all the big action setpieces back-to-back. Spread that shit out a little.

Only scene I enjoyed was when Strong began belting out some John Denver. On second thoughts, I guess the initial fight after they breach the gate was alright (before arm man and robodoggos).

He barely qualifies as a parody, he was just a generic evil president. Plus they did the same thing with Obama in the last movie, so who gives a shit

But critics told me this movie is an alt-right power fantasy.

i enjoyed it and i will watch it again.

whats Elton Johns role?

Elton John

He's in it for about 25 minuets
It might be longer

COUNTRY ROOOOOOOOOOOOADS


TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME


TO THE PLAAAAAAAAAAAAACE I BELONG

WEST VIRGINIA

MOUNTAIN MAMA

The only emotional response the movie got from me and it was the death of the best charecter(in this film)

He plays himself. The villain kidnapped him and makes him perform for her in her hideout. It's not so bad until the last act when it keeps cutting away from all the climactic action scenes for scenes of "Elton waddling around in a silly costume kicking people and yelling FUCK YOU".

I enjoyed it desu, fun spy flick that isn't trying to take itself too seriously, not as good as the first but has some top moments.

Fucking RIP.

>Almost wins the war on drugs by letting all of the dopeheads die
>Evil
Bazingo

Same issue in the first one. Jackson's totally right that the only way to really deal with global pollution is a culling.

That President was way more like Clinton.

Harry should've stayed dead and Roxie should've lived so she could fill Harry's role. I really don't like that they killed her off like that. It was so unsatisfying.

He was supposed to be Trump. Matthew Vaughn even said that up until late in production they were designing the Oval Office set to look like Trump Tower but they changed their mind at the last minute because "Trump might actually win and then it won't be funny anymore."

I heard they removed Trump references so that they wouldn't alienate half the audience.

This film didn't know if it wanted to still be the satire spy film like it was in the first or an actual spy movie.

>letting only the elite live by allowing teachers and family members to violently pummel innocent children to death is the right way to save the planet
Think about how much death there was during that 2 minutes. Some fat lady at a daycare getting switched on and flinging babies at walls and shit. Actually fucked with me for awhile and they end with LOL BUTTSEX

It's not like Obama came out any better in the first movie

How come they don't address what Statesman was up to when everyone on Earth started killing each other?

Is Harry the new Arthur?

Shit was sad

because they clearly had no idea what to do with the statesmen period which is why Channing Tatum is frozen for the vast majority of the movie

Channing Tatum's role in this reminded me of Bruce Willis in Planet Terror except it wasn't as a joke

Haven't seen the sequel but could that be intentional as a joke on the conversation between Harry and Sam Jackson from the first?
>you like spy movies?
>old ones, the new ones all take themselves too seriously

You guys are giving the first movie way too much credit for being a "deconstruction" of spy movies. Apart from a couple of "this ain't like in the movies" lines it played all its tropes pretty straight.

I don't get why they made Oberyn Martell the main Statesman agent and not Channing Tatum.

It was probably a jab at the recent Bond movies for being so grim and as down to Earth as possible because of the Bourne films

Saints Row : The Movie

Elton Fucking John

Pedro Pascal is s much better actor and was the highlight of the movie, so I can't complain about that.

Chanman was busy filming some other shit

Can only be budget issues

Obama literally fucking died in the first kingsman, they blew his head off. This guy wasn't even that close to Trump, he was more of a parody of Reagan.

I had a problem with him, actually. Not the actor, but I think his costume looked dopey as shit. And his weapons, they might have seemed cool as an idea but idk.

>the fit survive and the unfit die

Do you even Darwin?

What will be Kingsman 3 then? They go to Australia and everybody's a Crocodile Dundee agent or something?

>taking drugs should be a capital offence
dude duterte lmao

I'm expecting something Asian if they introduce another agency.

>Japanese Kingsman
What'll it be like?

>unarmed

Salaryman

So how did Harry work out that Whiskey was up to no good? Did I miss that?

Had a good hunch

He had a feeling, thats it.

He just guessed that he broke the bottle on purpose. Pretty dumb reason to shoot someone in the face. And he was wrong about him working for the Golden Circle anyways.

The song ruined it for me since its in so many movies this year. Anyone of any reason for that?

>We saw at a packed cinema and there was good will and energy from the audience. This was totally lost when Elton appeared and kept breaking the fourth wall. The mood dropped and all you could hear on the way out was... 'wtf was Elton doing in that film?'
you know how i know that didn't happen? kill yourself retard.

The Japanese word for suit is "Sabillo" which comes from "Saville Row" where all the best London tailors are based. It's where Kingsman HQ is located.

Annie's Song was in a lot of movies this year too, including this one. Hollywood's got some sort of John Denver boner lately.

Yeah, because dumb popcorn-chomping normies laugh just by recognising someone.

>hurr durr i know him

I thought he'd sing some Dougie Maclean or something, given he'd been banging on about Scotland in the film.

They did setup for him to sing it earlier when he said John Denver was his favorite singer.

Bridges tells Tatum to wear a suit and tie next time. Cut to last scene of Tatum arriving in London in suit and bowler hat. Next film will have Tatum as lead/working with Kingsman. Eggman retired due to marriage.

...

Remember how in the first movie they introduce Lancelot as if he'll be an important character only for Gazelle to immediately take him out?

Same principle.

That's one way to say suit, another way is sebiro, which is what I assume the other user meant.

Eggsy is retired.

Harry is Galahad again.

Tequila is presumably the new Lancelot.

Could've if he was watching in Chicago, since that was my exact reaction in a packed cinema

What happened to the other Kingsman employees who aren't agents and therefore weren't targeted like Merlin?

You're right but in the comic they reverse the polarity or some shit and so instead of killing everyone worldwide starts fucking instead.

Equally fucked up fridge horror

This movie had a problem with scale. Kingsman and Statesman are supposed to be HUGE but are only ever represented by like 4 agents and a bunch of holograms.

Killing off Roxy was a mistake too. Bringing back Harry and the Swedish princess brought nothing to the movie at all and I'd rather have seen Roxy as a sexy agent than Colin Firth swat at imaginary butterflies

>nursing homes
>operating rooms
>morgues
My word the day after would be so shameful for all

The songs probably passed into public domain or something

...