Triggering Leafs

ITT, we discuss things to do whenever we visit Canuckistan.

>At the border, if questioned by the guards say the Constitution requires them to get a warrant first.

>Always speed. If pulled over pretend you don't know what Kilometers are.

>If in Ontario, try and speak French. If in Quebec insist on English and if challenged say that "this is America, and English is the language!".

>Ask for a side of Maple Syrup at every Restaurant.

>Insist on paying with US Dollars. Give canuck funny money only if absolutely necessary.

>Go to Dunken Donuts instead of Tim Hortons

>Add an "Eh" to everything you say, loudly. If challenged say you are trying to learn the language.

>If in Quebec insist on English and if challenged say that "this is America, and English is the language!".

Lol no, don't do this. You legitimately might get fucking stabbed.

Literally none of this will work if you Visit Sask/Alberta.

you can fuck with quebec all you want

Am on a trip on Alaska Highway right now.

This is in Alaska

Why would anyone want to visit Sask or Alberta?

This was in Canada.

What a third world shithole.

The city of Anchorage has 10 times as many people as all of the Yukon. Our north is empty compared to yours

What's the best Canadian hockey team to root for, I'm debating between Calgary and the jets.

Alaska had a powerful Senator a few years back. He steered millions for road projects up there. Good ole' Ted Stevens. He built a bridge to nowhere and revealed that the Internet is a series of Tubes.

I'm not a fan of hockey

Lacrosse is better then hockey.

That's somthing a first nationer would say

Really? i thought the internet was a truck tho...

You'd be surprised. Lacrosse is getting more and more popular, at least playing lacrosse.

the first two seem like really bad advice

>hockey
are you talking about ice hockey?

Nobody plays field hockey here, so yes

Yes do all these things great ideas

I enjoy lacross, it's pretty popular where I'm from, mainly with the Iroquois which is why i say that. However hockey is my true love.

But it's night and day as soon as you cross the border. Not even fucking joking. You go from dirt, chip seal if you're lucky, to pavement with lines, guard rails, and those don't fall asleep grooves cut in the side. And it's fucking hot up here. Blew me away.

t.chink

Blue Jays will collapse and miss the playoffs. Yankees will win the division

>denied entry because i spent time in prison
>fuck canada

I truely doubt that.

Try Australia, lad.

>we visit Canuckistan
What? But why would you ever?

How to piss off an American. Mention the le 60% statistic

Pic related, be glad that there's a road at all

im one hundred and fifty years too late, mate

You can get cheap fine liquor and cigars at the duty free. Also their beaches on Lake Erie are much nicer, try crystal beach in southern Ontario if you ever get the chance.

Because it doesn't have the feminazis of Toronto, the corruption of Quebec, nor foreigners buying all the property like in BC.

>Doubting the Yankees

You guys never learn

Wow. Good thing about the Yukon was I asked the road construction sign holder lady why the pilot truck didn't have the sign "pilot truck" in French under it and she shook her head and kinda laughed "don't get me started".

Why would anyone want to visit California?

>fuck the girls without a condom and always cream pie
>insist the American side of the falls is superior
>use abooot, guy, buddy, pal, sooorie, friend, and eh in nearly every sentence
>wear buffalo sabres jerseys in Toronto
>solicit all stripers for sex, since full nude
>pay in mixed Canadian and US currency
>give tips in US pennies

The last one is my favorite. Not even Americans want pennies. Im not allowed in several strip clubs in niagara.

>Lets spend fuck tons of money on roads nobody but heavy duty trucks will use

Canada has no pennies anymore

That's the joke

You a western new yorker there friendo.

That's the point. I live 30 minutes from the boarder, and I really enjoy pissing you cucks off. I go out of my way to drive slow as shit infront of cancucks whenever one is driving to one of our malls. Christmas time is the best

Definitely Calgary. Really exciting young team, and any American hockey fan loves Johnny Gaudreau.

Jets are pretty good too though.

Yes

"pilot" is a french word
And Truck is from old french as well.

You sound like a great guy

My man, it sounds like you really hate Canadians though.

What's your opinion on the Sabers?

>If in Ontario, try and speak French. If in Quebec insist on English and if challenged say that "this is America, and English is the language!"

holy shit this. people would lose their minds

One once totalled my car because the stupid cunt was texting while driving, ran a red light and i fractured my heel. I blame all of canada for ruining my favorite hobby, and I can no longer lift properly without discomfort.

Canadians are also rude as hell when they're in the US. They act exactly like NYC yuppies. Idk where the polite meme came from, but it's way off. I now make sure i pay at least 1 visit to canada each year and fuck a couple bar sloots as reparations.

Newfies are the best Canadians. I've never had so much fun doing nothing at all. No wonder they're considered the only "true" Canadians.

Very bright future. Their GM has made some questionable trades, but they've drafted lots of great forwards lately and their gonna be really exciting in a few years. Maybe my favorite team out east.

I can understand the hate on your end. I enjoy them, there's defiantly cultural differences between us, but at the end of the day they're still nice people.

The good far out weighs the bad imo.

The only thing good about them is their women are easy because there isn't anything else to do in Canada.

that looks scary and cool at the same time, walking in some icey ass shit in winter knowing youre alone for hunderds of miles until you hit a small fishing village or w/e...
sort of like australia except its not dry ass desert where you die from dehydration

Depends if you consider freezing to death superior to dying of dehydration. Some of that area only reaches above-freezing temperatures for a month or two of the year

what is the snow like?
we only have mountains that snow here... the heat can suck..
whats it like in the snow in full snow gear? im sure its better than wearing underwear and thongs and sweating like a pig still

Imagine it's cold water, only much thicker. Maybe like ice cream in a way. When you step in it or manipulate it, it retains its form. If it's fresh snow, it's very low-density and perfect for building snowmen or whatever you want to do, but if it's been frozen for a while it can be relatively solid and make a crunching sound when you step in it, a bit like styrofoam but less annoying. You can hold it in your hand and it'll melt very fast, much faster than ice.

Generally up north the snow is more solid, which is why the Indians use sleds and snowmobiles to get around

I prefer the snow to the heat, you can always put more clothes on you can't take your skin off.

It can be difficult to get around when there is lots of snow on the ground however winter sports like sledding, skiing, snowboarding, hockey, curling, all that jazz are alot of fun, but you deffinatley can get sick of it after about 5 months. It's nice that souther Ontario and western newyork get all 4 seasons.

Not sure why my id changed.