The Last Jedi Leak - Sick of the Fake BS, AMA, and please come up with better questions

Every day there's a new TLJ leak. I keep a file of them because they are so wildly wrong in all but the broadest story concepts that it boggles my freaking mind anyone believes it. I'm sick of it. Ask me anything about the film EXCEPT for my position. If you think I'd answer that you're delusional. There's only so many people that have access to Ep8 and I'm not going to risk legal ramifications and basically end my career to satisfy you.

Instead, I want you to ask some legitimate verifiable questions once the film comes out.

For more immediate verification I'll tell you what to expect in the trailer, which will be ~ 2 min 40 seconds long. Firstly, don't get your hype up for it. Nothing revealing is shown (duh). The opening shot is Kylo Ren approaching Supreme Leader Snoke, shot from behind Kylo, with the fleshy Snoke blurred out. There is a lot of the same stuff from the teaser as well. The books in the tree, behind shot of Leia, etc. The ending shot is an absolutely awesome shot of one of Snoke's guards twirling his staff-blade weapon thing as if preparing for a showdown with someone. You'll be able to use this to verify this leak when the trailer drops (and I can't verify if it's October 9th, but I can verify that it is not the 16th because of Rebels). Point being: the trailer is on its way soon.

Now ask me anything about the film.

Whats the first sentence of the opening crawl?

A FUCKING FORCE SLOTH

What's Snooki's tax policy?

I dont need leaks to tell me itll be a carbon copy of ESB with the whole submerged xwing and everything

What's the midichlorian concentrate % in Rey's crusty dried pussy juice?

Which came first, ranch or cool ranch?

Does Kylo turn good?

The first sentence of the crawl is:

"CHAOS has engulfed the galaxy."

The second sentence: "Following the destruction of the HOSNIAN, the galaxy now faces a critical CHOICE.

A couple words/articles might be paraphrased but that's what it is to the best of my memory.

Absolutely fucking not.

Force tree

The lightside is female

Just occurred to me I should put a trip on.
Please continue asking.

Unequivocally, yes. By the end of TLJ Kylo has done enough good actions that you do not question where his character arc will go in IX.

My bad I meant "the HOSNIAN system"

What is Luke's first line?

Not me. Disregard this answer.

Its briefly hinted at towards the end of the movie with the line "There is still good in him" as a reference to what padme said in Episode 3 (or that's my understanding of it)
He's also shown during this movie to be less edgy and be showing regret. Expect a lot less mask on so he can convey these emotions.

"How did you find me" it says

>Whats the first sentence of the opening crawl?
It is a dark time for the galaxy, Luke Skywalker's white male privilege has become quite problematic.

Does Yoda make an appearance?
Anakin?

Rey walks up to Luke, who takes the lightsaber and observes it (the BTS reveal). The camera shows the emotion on his face for a few moments. He looks at Rey and says nothing, then he walks, with the lightsaber, back to where he was standing overlooking the water when Rey arrived at the summit. Cue another shot of Luke's face, this time the emotion is a bit darker in tone. He turns around and faces Rey who has been standing at a distance, and he tells her, "You should not have come here." Then he walks off toward one of the huts as Rey quickly follows after him, unsure of how to proceed.

Does Luke turn evil?
Does Luke use a lightsaber at all? (If so, what colour?)
Does Finn use a lightsaber at all?

What happens to the Knights of Ren?

Yod and Obi-Wan make appearances. There is a cave beneath the Ahch-to tree, where the roots have managed to breach through the rock. It's quite mystical. The Force is strong enough that both Yoda and Obi-Wan manifest as nearly corporeal, with some spatterings of the ghostly blue and some transparency. Young Ewan is the ghost of Obi-Wan and Yoda looks like Yoda.

>he cares about kukwars

enjoy being drafted.
im sure youll do swell!

Evil Luke: Absolute not. Luke has had his faith in the Force and overall goodness tested. Kylo turning evil and killing his students sent him on a quest to understand what the "big picture" to all this madness is, and he arrived at the first Jedi Temple with a stack of ancient Jedi texts and an older version of the chosen one prophecy that dates back to the time of the Jedi-Sith war 1,000 years ago. At the beginning of the film, Luke believes that his family is doomed to always fall into darkness because everyone and their mother wants to use the Skywalkers for their power. He essentially believes that having the "power" of the Force will inevitably corrupt the wielder, and start the next cycle of war and violence.

Does Luke use a lightsaber at all? (If so, what colour?):

Luke does not have a lightsaber at all. We learn that when Kylo killed his students, his temptation toward the dark side was so strong that in an act of desperation he destroyed his own lightsaber to eliminate the desire to go Kylo hunting.

Does Finn use a lightsaber at all?

Nope.

Kylo keeps the Knights of Ren at Vader's castle, which is Kylo's HQ away from Snoke.

They play a role in the battle of Crait, where they come in on the side of Kylo, who for the final, definitive time, betrays the First Order to stop his mother and Rey from dying.

This desu but honestly I don't see why we should trust OP over anyone else. His opening post makes him look even more suspicious, really.

>Luke does not have a lightsaber at all. We learn that when Kylo killed his students, his temptation toward the dark side was so strong that in an act of desperation he destroyed his own lightsaber to eliminate the desire to go Kylo hunting.
This is absolute fucking bullshit. You're just trying to make this movie sound as bad as possible to reverse-shill. I know it.

I'm sorry the film does not cater to your sense of fanservice and desire to see Luke swing a green blade again.

Fortunately for you, he has a rather awesome command of the Force, and doesn't need one.

What, if anything, is revealed about Snoke?

DUDE EVERYONE NEEDS A LIGHTSABER WASNT IT SO COOL WHEN YODA PULLED OUT A MINI LIGHTSABER AND STARTED NINJA FLIPPING AROUND

Fuck off you child

Briefly summarize the first, second, and third acts.

I like how Rey is carrying a Yari Lightsaber. It's time for spear to gets its recognition as the second weapon of the Samurai after the bow. Don't leet Katanafags fool you with their glorified sidearms.

Got a few for you OP:

How does the chubby asian woman fit into the grand scheme of things?

Is Rey's sister one of the Knights of Ren?

Is there a new Deathstar/Starkiller Base type superweapon the movie?

Quite a lot about his present condition, but his past is vaguely explained, but the explanation I think is satisfying enough to quell the question of his origins and patiently wait for whatever content might elaborate more on that.

Present condition:

Snoke is regenerating to full-strength. He was more decrepit in TFA, slightly more back to full health in TLJ. Hosnian's destruction fueled him. He fed off the death. We learn from Luke that this was also an ulterior motive for Palpatine wanting Death Stars. They need a way of killing enough people to extend their lives, feeding off the death. Wars are the naturally the best situation for the galaxy for these guys then.

Luke reveals to Rey that if Snoke succeeds, he will use Kylo as a vessel for the entire Force, and then destroy him. Luke believes that doing this will kill all life in the galaxy, since life creates the Force. So basically politics and power was basically a means to an end for Palpatine and now Snoke to become full on gods by using the Chosen One's line for their power over the entire Force.

Snoke has the ability to drain the life from victims, but only does this as a punishment as only death on the scale of Hosnian can even make a dent in his condition at this point.

We learn that it's like a drug, the more Snoke extends his life by using others, the less effective it becomes, so he needs more.

Past info: Snoke started his quest for godhood thousands of years ago. The Jedi defeated and imprisoned him, but Snoke was able to corrupt one of them to become the first Sith. Then 1,000 years before the films, the Jedi-Sith war happens and knowledge of Snoke is lost and the surviving Sith (Bane on to Palpatine) always feel a "call" of the dark side, which is Snoke baiting them to free him in return for the promise of immortality and UNLIMITED POWAHHHHHH! But really it's his scheme to get free and get those things himself.

answer me dammit

So Snoke is a mix of Darth Sion and Darth Nihilus but more retarded and pathetic

BRAVO DISNEY

BRAVO

You're going to hate the movie anyway. What do you care?

The lightsaber duels in the original trilogy were actually based on European swordsmanship. Very stilted in comparison to how it's actually done but it's nothing like kendo.

>he fed off the death

Gee where have I heard that before

Swords were not the main weapon of knights either.

And he's a corpse like Darth Sion

And probably a grey area mystic like Kreia too.

Holy shit disney are such motherfucking hacks

Who wins the Rey vs Kylo showdown?

Implying this isn't bullshit like all the rest of the 'leaks'

Duck my Sith!

Well, I think Kylo's sword has its origins in a planet from Kotor II.

It is based on an ancient design from the time of the "battle of malachor", so yes.

so what is Luke's relationship to Rey

If true, at least it's something that hasn't been canonized in a movie before.

Roger roger user.

Character limit means I have to keep it trimmed. Please ask for me to flesh it out if you are confused. Doing Kylo-Rey-Luke stuff in this post, will do Finn stuff in another (not enough characters).

Act 1:

Act 1 is all about Rey convincing Luke she's worthy of being trained and Kylo's first momentous turnaround decision happens when he saves his mother's life above D'Qar as she's escaping. Finn wakes up and plays gunner to Paige Tico's bomber but that's about it. It's a great action sequence. He immediately has chemistry with Rose.

Act 2:

Act 2 is all about Rey being trained, Kylo meeting up with the KOR at Vader's castle to finally execute his plan to overthrow Snoke (but with Rey's help), and Finn and Rose journeying to Canto Bight to meet up with DJ who supposedly has the key to the Resistance's victory - the location of an undiscovered droid army and factory network leftover from the prequel era. It's made clear that the Resistance is not in a good spot at the beginning of this film, totally lacking a war-time fleet and military. We are led to believe DJ will betray them, but it is in fact Rose that reveals the location of Crait to the FO while on Canto Bight, because her and Paige's family are FO hostages. When Rose turns over Finn (emotionally) to Phasma, Phasma reveals they killed their family a long time ago, which is devastating to Rose, then they take Rose into captivity as well.


Damn I've tried and tried but I can't just "briefly summarize." This movie is so damn long compared to the others and A LOT happens. Sorry, please check my other posts where I'll finish this summary.

answer me.

Yeah no shit that somewhere in the 1,000s of fucking legends books, games, and comics these exact same concepts and themes would have at some point come up, right?

>When Rose turns over Finn (emotionally) to Phasma, Phasma reveals they killed their family a long time ago, which is devastating to Rose, then they take Rose into captivity as well.

The clever villain kills the traitor.

I bet Rose didn't even think to give Finn a poison gas tooth!

So no Anakin references?
Do we see this droid factory w prequel droids? Seems like something they might avoid

>Do we see this droid factory w prequel droids? Seems like something they might avoid

Agreed, they're more likely to use the Katana Fleet.

sounds like its going to suck.

Act 2 continued:

Kylo heads to Ahch-To with the KOR to convince Rey that together they can end this destructive conflict before it even starts (sound familiar?).

Luke dispatches the KOR (non-lethally using the Force) quite easily as Ren and Rey duel.

On the cliffface, a rock breaks and Rey falls in, gashing her head on a rock on the way down. She'll drown.

Ren, realizing this is the moment he's seen, jumps in after her. Luke sees this.

He swims her to an underwater cavern with air, when she regains consciousness they, for hte first time, discuss the rest of the story, how Snoke had manipulated Ben into thinking Luke and his Jedi were the ones who killed Rey and her family after Ben had stopped receiving visions of her after he left Jakku. Rey is uneasy still because Ren has both lightsabers. Ren says he needs to talk to Luke now that he knows the truth and realizes the gravity of his mistake in destroying the Jedi.

Ren hands Rey back Anakin's lightsaber, and together they set off to find Luke, but when they returned, they find the KOR are returning to conscious but Luke is nowhere to be found. He jacked one of the KOR's ships.

Unrelated as far as we know by the end of TLJ, but it is STRONGLY implied that there is something very mystical surrounding Rey's birth. The "it's so much bigger" line is spoken as Rey tells Luke what he sees, when he says that line he looks at *her* in a way that implies she's "what's so much bigger," almost as if she is the Force itself. When Rey brings up the fact she's been waiting for her family her entire life on Jakku, Luke expresses his sympathy for her in a way that indicates he has no idea who her family is and had nothing to do with their disappearance, but we can see that he starts to suspect Rey is the person Kylo was always speaking about during his youth.

how would you rate the movie?

Is Yoda a puppet or CGI?

We do not see the droid factory, because that was a lie. DJ didn't trust Finn and Rose, but he needed to be freed from prison. He tells Leia and Holdo the truth about what's going on with droids while Rose gives the false droid factory information to the FO.

What DJ is actually aware of is an uncharted system where droids that have been alive for a very long time (some thousands of years old) or have otherwise had their restraining bolts removed, or in any other way have become "freethinking" have started to gather, because they fear losing their freedom. 3PO hears DJ say this and spills the beans (comically) that he's known about this all along via his Resistance droid spy network (that we see in TFA).

So the proposition at the end of TLJ, that we assume will be seen in IX, is that 3PO acts as an emissary for the Resistance. He'll travel to this droid enclave and ask for their help against the FO. In exchange, if the Resistance wins, they will grant them full independence so they don't have to live in fear, and they will broadcast a droid signal that will "awaken" all of the droids in the galaxy, so that only those droids that choose to be servants to sentient beings will do it, the others are free to join the droid system. Holdo and some no-name Resistance folk are heavily against this because they are afraid of what will happen of former slaves are granted freedom. Leia, empathizing with 3PO, agrees to the plan.

On a scale of 1-10, a fucking 10,000.

So Snoke doesn't care about the Sith except a means to an end?

What race or species is he? He looks tall like the Son from the clone wars series.

Extremely well-done CGI. Hell, for all I know it was practical with CGI added or something. It's very realistic looking.

And act 3?

Precisely. Snoke needed to be freed. The Jedi would never do it, but someone who thinks they will get ultimate power? They'll do it.

Will Rey and Fin have strong passionate diverse multicultural sex ontop of Luke's cold dead pathetic body?

Am hype now. This is the only leak I've seen so far that doesn't seem to contradict any officially released material out there.

How is Andy Sekis' performance

>What DJ is actually aware of is an uncharted system where droids that have been alive for a very long time (some thousands of years old) or have otherwise had their restraining bolts removed, or in any other way have become "freethinking" have started to gather, because they fear losing their freedom. 3PO hears DJ say this and spills the beans (comically) that he's known about this all along via his Resistance droid spy network (that we see in TFA).
>So the proposition at the end of TLJ, that we assume will be seen in IX, is that 3PO acts as an emissary for the Resistance. He'll travel to this droid enclave and ask for their help against the FO. In exchange, if the Resistance wins, they will grant them full independence so they don't have to live in fear, and they will broadcast a droid signal that will "awaken" all of the droids in the galaxy, so that only those droids that choose to be servants to sentient beings will do it, the others are free to join the droid system. Holdo and some no-name Resistance folk are heavily against this because they are afraid of what will happen of former slaves are granted freedom. Leia, empathizing with 3PO, agrees to the plan.
pls don't be true
I don't know if I can bear to watch some surface-level clusterfuck philosophical talk about sentience in a star wars film

Act 3:

During Act 2 Leia and Holdo's arc was getting the base on Crait up and running again. They discover a cache of old Rebellion gear, some of which goes back to the prequel days since the Rebellion itself had discovered a cache of prequel stuff lol.

After Rose gives them the location of Crait, which DJ reveals to Leia happened, bot the FO and Resistance begin preparing for a battle.

The base is underground (in that cliff area that the skimmers drop off).

Leia broadcasts to Ahch-To telling Rey that her and Luke are needed immediately at Crait, but before Rey can respond her and Kylo are ambushed by FO ships. Kylo's TIE had a tracker.

Kylo says they will meet again at Crait and runs to his interceptor where he buys Rey time to get to the Falcon with Chewie. She makes it off-planet and jumps to Crait, whereas Kylo Ren's ship gets damaged above Ahch-To and he gets taken into custody by a giant FO ship with a tractor beam. Rey senses that he's been captured.

Rey returns to Leia empty-handed, no Luke, no Kylo. But she tells Leia that Kylo saved her life in which Leia gives her a smile that can only indicate one thing: her son has fallen in love. We have no freaking clue where Luke is yet.

When Leia tells Rey what happened to Finn and Rose, Rey pulls an ESB Luke and darts off to rescue them as the FO fleet appears above Crait for the final showdown. Kylo, Finn, and Rose are all on Snoke's SSD. Hux gives the order to charge the Devastator which will completely destroy the Resistance base below.

Rey frees Finn and Rose after fighting through the FO ship, then wants to go free Kylo. Finn is NOT happy about this, but Rey manages to get him to reluctantly agree.

Kylo is strapped to the torture chair when they find him, Rey makes a joke about how the tables have turned before freeing him. Before they can all leave, however, Snoke's guards rush the room and take them captive (Kylo doesn't have his lightsaber).

Is snoke actually a ancient Sith?

what's so "radical" about Luke in this movie?
Thanks so much for replies btw

Your info is similar to that of Star Wars Theory leaker. Are you the same person?

No, read earlier comments.

Wait wait. Back up and explain the thing with Kylo having visions of Rey.

They are brought before the Supreme Leader. Snoke tells Kylo he has one last chance to prove his dedication. He can either kill Rey, Kylo, and Rose, in which case Snoke promises to reveal to Kylo the knowledge he's been keeping from him thus far, the key to ultimate power, or he can die with the rest of them, after watching the Devastator wipe out his mother as well. Snoke then floats Kylo's lightsaber back to him.

The first one brought by Snoke's guards to the "chopping block" is Finn. Finn looks at him angrily, and for a moment it looks as if Kylo will do it, but at the last minute he Force pushes both of the guards away from Finn, then chops the restraints off of Rey, Rose, and Finn. Snoke stands surprised with Rey's saber, and for a brief second it looks as if it will be Kylo versus everyone alone.

But the lightsaber flies out of Snoke's grip and into the hand of Luke. Upon seeing this, Snoke flees through a door behind the throne he was sitting in. Luke tells Rey that she's the key to saving the galaxy, throws her the lightsaber, and flies off to pursue Snoke.

Kylo and Rey stand with their backs enclosing Rey and Finn and we get one of the most epic fucking showdowns in Star Wars history. They hold off Snoke's guards and the FO stormtroopers, Finn and Rose pick up weapons from dead FO troopers and join the fight later, but the majority of the action is centered on Kylo and Rey having a samurai-type showdown with Snoke's guards and their weird weaponry. You've never seen fighting quite like this in a SW film before. It's somewhere in-between the OT fights and the flashiness of the PT, but with a lot of the uniqueness of the guards' weapons thrown in.

They win the fight, escape the SSD just before it gets destroyed in the space battle, and head back towards Crait. When Rey notices Kylo isn't with them, however, he tells her that the Devastator is is going to destroy the base and kill his mother, and that he has to stop it

How did the fake skin get removed from Luke's robot hand?

>Caring about Kikes In Space

And yet here you are you dumb motherfucker

Damn Snoke is kind of pathetic isn't he.

I don't buy kylo being ready to turn on Snoke so early into the film. No doubt he's getting redeemed and I figured they'd plant the seeds of that in TLJ, but this is way too fast

>it's not the evil inherent in the universe, guys, it's just one guy, lol
>just kill him and everything's cool
>until episode X, that is

So Rey is Kylo's sister, right?

but they could have some none-force using nigger wave around Anakin's lightsaber like it's any other sword

What kind of prequel gear/droids are shown?
JJ hates the prequels so I'm sure he's going to hate the fact he has to alknowledge any part of them in the next film.

The devastator is ready to fire. There's no time. Kylo tells Rey to tell his mother he's sorry for everything he's done. Rey pleads with him to come back (like the older version of her "come back" screams on Jakku, she starts crying) but there simply isn't any time left.

Kylo takes his TIE, sets it to self-destruct mode, and flies it down the barrel of the Devastator's main canon which is prepped to fire. We are led to believe that Kylo dies when his ship explodes in the barrel, disabling the weapon and causing the built up energy of the canon to discharge into the ship instead. The whole thing goes BOOM and we see Rey and even Finn show sadness over Kylo's sacrifice. The one clue we have that Kylo is not dead is that Leia does not react when the ship explodes, but cheers with everyone else on Crait.

When Rey returns in tears to Leia, telling her what happened to Kylo and Luke, Leia tells her that she can sense the two are still alive somewhere, but that Luke is in grave danger. It cuts to Snoke's Supremacy, where he has taken Luke captive. Snoke encircles him in a ray-shield type device and both of them mock each other. In an echo of ROTJ, Luke tells Snoke that he's failed. Snoke scoffs and one of my favorite lines goes something like, "Ren's one remaining weakness is that he has yet to make things right with you. They will come searching. But will they be ready for what they find?" Luke reacts with a very ominous face.

The film ends with Rey setting off in the Falcon to look for Kylo, and the closing shot is from within the cockpit as Kylo's ejected TIE seat floats in space in front of the window, with an unconscious Kylo strapped into it (tie pilot helmet on). Rey frantically scans to see if he's still alive, which Chewie confirms he is.

The closing line is Rey looking out of the window and saying, "Ben." Iris out on her face, roll credits.

>They hold off Snoke's guards and the FO stormtroopers, Finn and Rose pick up weapons from dead FO troopers and join the fight later, but the majority of the action is centered on Kylo and Rey having a samurai-type showdown with Snoke's guards and their weird weaponry. You've never seen fighting quite like this in a SW film before. It's somewhere in-between the OT fights and the flashiness of the PT, but with a lot of the uniqueness of the guards' weapons thrown in.
This sounds like absolute dogshite

Unexplained.

This is by far the crappiest I have read. Kylo going good from the start is a no no. The droid army thing is just a candy for prequel fanboys.
Snoke as the sith Creator and most powerful being ever is ridiculous.

It's even boring to read.

Right up until the end of Act 2 with his confrontation with Rey, Kylo is still hellbent on killing Snoke so that he can rule the FO and then the galaxy afterward. His confrontation with Rey is when he learns that that's not what he really wants, and there is still a lot of doubt cast in the scene where Snoke asks him to change his mind and kill everyone near the end.

It is a quick turnaround, but its done extremely well. Kylo is immediately regretful of his decision in TFA from the opening moments of TLJ.

Jesus Christ, what the fuck...

Neither Leia or Luke indicate anything like that.

My takeaway from this film is that they are going to be fall in love, and basically already have by the end of TLJ, though there is no cheesy romantic kissing or anything. The look Leia gives Rey when Rey explains that Kylo saved her life says it all.

Is there bad comedy in this?

We don't see any prequel-era droids in TLJ, to my knowledge. Maybe there is one snuck in as an easter egg in one of the scenes somewhere, idk.

>Rey pleads with him to come back (like the older version of her "come back" screams on Jakku, she starts crying) but there simply isn't any time left.

Its like POTTERY

Which performances were most impressive? Why have you not mentioned Poe Dameron at all?

Does hayden show up on screen as force ghost Anakin?

Since when does Kylo want to kill Snoke and take over the First Order? He canonically doesn't give a fuck about the First Order and is more concerned with finding Luke. And there's zero signs that he's anything but loyal to Snoke. Not buying that he wants to kill Snoke so early on in the movie

I don't know how to decide that, but personally I thought the comedy was great. Finn goes for a real macho James Bond "big deal" type vibe but ends up making a fool of himself several times in front of Rose.

Luke and Rey's training comes with some comedic, light-hearted moments too. One of my favorite scenes of the film is when the ghost of Yoda is conversing with Luke and he quips about the time when Luke balanced him on his feet, so the two of them have Rey balance a bunch of porgs instead.

>One of my favorite scenes of the film is when the ghost of Yoda is conversing with Luke and he quips about the time when Luke balanced him on his feet, so the two of them have Rey balance a bunch of porgs instead.
Jesus fucking christ
Make it stop