So, there's this bloke, right? He's a school teacher, and he's into all chemistry and physics an' that...

So, there's this bloke, right? He's a school teacher, and he's into all chemistry and physics an' that. Handing out homework to the kids, drawing... atoms an' that on the blackboard, stuff like that. And he's basically a good bloke, got a wife. His son is disabled and 'e has a baby on the way. Family bloke.

Anyway, he ends up with.. cancer. An' 'e starts doing all this mental stuff, exploding buildings an' that. 'Cause he starts making cocaine and heroin and sellin' it for loads of cash on the side 'cause teachers are never paid enough, yeah?

So he goes to the desert, 'cause he lives in America an' they have deserts where...
He stays near a desert.
One day he heads out with a bunch of metal bits and pieces, and 'e builds a machine gun from scratch in no time flat. You don't see 'im making the bullets but he's a switched-on bloke and 'e knows 'is stuff. Maybe he bought some from a gun shop.

And he ends up putting this big machine gun in his car and when he presses a button on... his key thing. Key fob. And the gun pops up out of the car and it can shoot through walls an' that. Kills a bunch of people.

So the lesson there is "pay teachers more money because they could go mental."

You're an idiot. Play a record.

Walt is alive. Season 6 IS happening

>2017
>calling albums "records"

Kill yourself for writing this

Sage

Let 'im finish!

no no no he's talking shit again

Turns out, little monkey fella.

>newfagging this hard

>So the lesson there is "pay teachers more money because they could go mental."

This is actual the moral of the story.

Criminals and terrorists are, for the most part, idiots that slightly less dim cops like Hank can deal with. Do not fuck the middle class and put their backs against the wall. The sprawling suburbs of America are really a million times the threat of the ghetto thugs.

jesus fucking christ lol, do you believe this?

Thanks for making me lol

...

TWADDLE.

ABSOLUTE TWADDLE.

Remember when we were 'avin a chat about the 'orse in the 'ouse? Well this is even better than that. It's like, an 'orse in a mansion. An' he's got all of 'is, like, animal friends and all that. But, the problem is, he's all depressed and that. 'Cause even though he's got all 'is money, all 'is animal women, and all the 'ay 'e wants, things keep goin' wrong for 'im.

And that's like life, innit? Dunt matter 'ow much luck you 'ave, summits gotta bring you down, 'annit? You've gotta 'ave a moan now an' then.

Weirdest bit though - bloody whale reportin' the news. What's that all about?

sqwooze

WHERE IS THE GODDAMMED MONKEY KARL?
I CAME HERE TO LISTEN ABOUT FUCKING MONKEYS

>SIXTEEN YEARS AGO
Let it go. Karl is 50 fucking years old, for Christ's sake.

>he thinks anything he can do is a threat to the ruling class & the military's predator drones

kek. your handguns totes make you freeeee!

>Corr, that army's got some well nice trenches (DW)
>That woman's got her husbands gloves, and a pair of her own (HH)
>If you're going to France by boat, you might as well buy your fags there because you'll get 'em a lot cheaper. (BF)

DONT TALK SHIT, what do mean he builds a machine gun from scratch, nonsense, bollocks

...

>A middle-aged man recently ditched by his long-term girlfriend, “Karl” (below) now lives with his elderly Auntie; his closest companion is the voice in his head, a misanthropic alter ego who takes the form of his doppelgänger. The uncensored true version of Karl says what he really thinks without the risk of offending others.
Did Suzanne really leave him??

Were the XFM shows ever popular outside the UK? I would've thought people wouldn't get a lot of the jokes.

Nah and I don't think that's her. Suzanne is short and round.

God I fucking hate bong """ humor"""

What would the American equivalent of Karl talk about?

Look up Suzanne Whiston

steve merchant here

Don't forget, guys.

New Karl coming.

I do believe this.

Why do I need guns when I audit your taxes, poke around fixing your teeth and teach your children.

Look at any successful revolution in history.

The fact you don't even know what I'm talking about shows how over your head this is. You'd be ideal for law enforcement.