Transformers

How the fuck do we keep letting Micheal Bay get away with this?

I just watched pic related and I can't fathom why people pay money to go see this shit.

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I mean for fucks sake it's not even making money anymore.

>implying he is the reason they aren't good
it's not like he writes them, he just makes them look cool

But they don't fucking LOOK cool. It's just a heap of CGI metal with too poor frame pacing to recognize anything. They could paint Megatron red and blue and in every scene he's in combat I'd believe them.

There's too much visual clutter on display, to the point where any form of melee combat literally turns into a ball of metal and spare parts.

On an unrelated note, remember when he shot a fucking tank with a handgun and that fucking worked? What good are they if you can destroy them with a handgun?

Speaking of Megatron, he somehow looks worse in every single movie. I don't know how they so effectively take steps backwards in their design.

i agree that the autobot action is incoherent, but i really unironically like michael bay's style, how dripping with color everything is
i think he uses dutch angles well and i like how he isn't afraid to switch aspect ratios for whatever reason

i can tell by the last movie that Michael Bay wants out but he signed a contract with the studios in advance

Has he ever met a British person, or does he get all his understanding of us from bullshit Anthony Hopkins tells him while drunk?

You know what, I'll meet you half way. The contrast is always spot-on and always adds a very very slight feel og magic to it. Which is the nicest thing I can say about these movies.

I don't agree with the aspect ratio thing though. It makes me feel that he's actually still taking this seriously as an art-form when it's clearly been a cash-grab for years and years.

Honestly, I don't even really blame him for the films major faults. I blame the actors for limping in under mediocre, I blame the designers for over-designing every robot there is, and I blame the producers for still trying to shove this shit down our throats as some "epic saga".

But most of all I blame the fucking writing staff. Holy shit I've seen kindergarten drawing hung on a wall with more interesting narrative than this.

>human find artifact/galaxy-ending nuke
>both sides want it
>humans side with Prime
>Megatron (who is still treated as some grand reveal for some reason) is angry
>fight until bored
>Optimus starts whining about muh freedom
>roll credits

There. I've written the next 18 transformers movies.

>Anthony Hopkins
i literally skipped every scene of him in that Transformers and even stopped watching Westworld because of his presence

That's objectively the best Megatron design since the first movie.

Not him, but I don't think it's inherently Hopkins fault. I've seen him in some good shit, and yeah he's hardcast as the British smart mentor character, but at least he can fucking act. How the fuck has Mark Wahlberg not been publicly shot yet?

>Megatron is a shark now
>best design

Kys.

Mark Wahlberg is the "okay i guess" cast

not too bad
not too good

Marky Mark can convincingly do action and comedy. A better male lead than Shia LaBeouf for sure.

yet LaBeouf 's Transformers > Wahlberg's Transformers

But why? You can find drama-school dropouts that could act circles around this borderline braindead manlet.

Transformers has become a franchise I pirate and then force my way through out of some ritualistic suffering I have as I used to be a big fan of the ORIGINAL franchise.

And that's what it feels like now. A chore.

If Transformers one had came out today it would garuntee never to get sequels because Disney would be trashing it constantly so Star Wars and Marvel don't have competition. The only reason it is allowed to have sequels is because it was successful to the Chinese market before the MCU became a thing.

this might be the answer:

LaBeouf was obnoxious played Sam like he was on crack but Marky Mark always comes across as unlikable to me (e.g. scenes that are meant to be comedic he just comes across as belligerent, but maybe that's just Michael Bay's directing since that's how he seems to try and get every actor to seem) he's better fitted for tough guy assholes like in Daddy's Home

lemme save anyone who hasnt seen it 3 hours or whatever the fuck the runtime is of their lives

Not a great achivement but it was definitely better than the previous one.

The previous one seemed like they completed the movie but then were told to tack-on a fourth act set in China for those delicious chinkbux.

>was reborn as a nanomachine construct in the fourth movie
>back to being a standard robot in this one for no reason

Agreed. The 4th one wasn't simply bad, it was awful. Man, I remember how much I actually love the first one and it makes me so sad.

Tbh, The Last Knight could have been kino, but Bay fucked it up again.

"The Last Knight" is the one Bay had the least amount of control over the script.

It's spectacular how bad it is.
I went in expecting a piece of shit and it still blew me away with how shit it was.
It makes the first Transformers look like Citizen Cain.

The aspect ratio thing actually made me think that my screen was malfunctioning or my video player and then I thought the rip I downloaded was faulty or something.
Why is this a thing ?

Also how in the fuck did they get Anthony Hopkins to play in this shitfest??

Well I mean the problem is the writers don't take it seriously at all.
I don't mean that as transformers is something that needs to be considered a serious thing, but that a species based war fought over the very lifeblood of a people could be taken seriously.

The writers do not give a shit and this could be brutal heart wrenching stuff if you took it seriously in its own context.

I get why they don't, but the potential was always there.

See >human find artifact/galaxy-ending nuke
>both sides want it
>humans side with Prime
>Megatron (who is still treated as some grand reveal for some reason) is angry
>fight until bored
>Optimus starts whining about muh freedom
>roll credits

Essentially the plot to every fucking transmovie.

Exactly. If this was done full-grimdark, there could be a lot of really deep questions about who deserves life and what qualifies and why. Instead we get Toaster Wars 3000.

Could some nerd explain to me why the chick in the second movie that almost bedded Sam was the only one capable of transforming into a human?

Fuck, all the later movies are about humans being afraid of robots, but turn them into beautiful teenage fuckslaves and I doubt we'd have that much of a problem with them.

Teenage mutant ninja fuckslaves

This guy knows what's up. Would anyone in power really have a problem with Transformers if they looked like pic related?

Fuck I just ended the war. They get to live in Sahara if they send a steady supply of teenage pornstars who don't know the meaning of the word "no".

>absolutely gorgeous lighting that puts Terrence Malick to shame
>breathtaking visuals and photography
>flawless soundmixing
>as the film progresses, Bay abandons both dialogue and narrative structure in favour of an almost sixty minutes long, tour de force action scene that satturates the senses to the utter limit
>universally despised by feeble-minded critics

Alas, humankind is not yet ready for transcendent kino!

>you lived long enough to see Bayfagging being a thing

The state of this board.

Doesn't fucking help if WHAT he's filming looks abysmal and the actors can't act.

The rapid aspect ratio switches are neither a stylistic choice nor a technical issue - it's just a discrepany between IMAX and non-IMAX shots. It can be very distracting within cohesive scenes and has been a problem since T3

To be honest, the best parts of the movie are the lore parts.
I can't give you many examples from the top of my head but the one thing I do remember from Last Knight is that da vinci was supposed to be one of the witwickans and was a bot himself or whatever.
Or learning in the first movie that the Pyramids are actually some kinds of device (can't remember what for though).

In other words; the thing I enjoy most about the movies but which is abused the most is 'truth' of the transformers universe. If it the rules weren't used as paperthin plot devices (why the fuck would dinosaur bots exist!?) the movies would just literally be explosions and bots fighting.

It's a meme you dip

cont.

I can't put into words what I am trying to say so can anyone help me out?

That's the US income. It made a bazzillion dollars in China.

That's why these movies keep getting made. The chinks love this stuff.

It's just universe-building with already existing historical figures and objects. I don't think that phenomenon has a name.

Not him but that might be true. Still that's actually quite god damn amazing considering how little these films pander to the gooks. There's practically no Asians to be found in any of the movies, and the only portrayal of such in the bots are usually so offensively racist most normalfags would run for the hills.

>Still that's actually quite god damn amazing considering how little these films pander to the gooks
They hired famous Chinese stars and filmed the movie in China.
The product placement is almost exclusively Chinese brands.

They are made exclusively to pander to them and get that sweet Chinese box office money.

Couldn't disagree more.
The movie plots and lore are a hodgepodge of literary and iconographic elements that culminate in a convoluted mess. T2 happened during the writer's strike and was probably cobbled together by some interns during an afternoon. It feels like something that would come into existence if you threw a hundred million dollars at a random action manga.The series feels very much like a shonen jump battle mangs, every arc has a simplistic theme: ancient egypt, the moon, dinosaurs, knights etc. I bet next will be a literal space arc.

It's not just the universe building itself.

For some reason there's some mysticism about transformers or something. I can't quite put my ginfer on it but it's got something to do with them being machines but alive at the same time or something.
Anyway, it's late where I am so I'm probably just pulling shit out of my ass.

I enjoyed the last knight and am awaiting the next installment eagerly

>He didn't get it
Shame

We agree.

My point was that the story sucks because it's trying to explain the world by giving us lore but that lore is just a stepping stone for explosions and conflict for the sake of sensation.

I never made it to the 30mins mark before deleting it.

The sad thing is that it isn't even enchancing the sci-fi genre or big robot subgenre at all.

>enchancing the sci-fi genre or big robot subgenre at all.
only the last 30mins do that

Just model the bots after the comics "modernized G1" designs like this

It's so fucking bad that "hyping up" Unicron didn't get a reaction to me. They need to stop this shit.

Only correct opinion.
Transformers is pure, unapologetic excess. It's like fireworks which are not as intricate or prfound as a beautiful piece of art but still deeply satisfying to watch.

>best design
>not hobo megatron tied with tank tread feet megs
fuck outta here

It's amazing how every new movie is worse than the previous one. It's like "let's make the next one more shitty"

I liked the new one or maybe it was the OST.

I really enjoy the Bay comedy ,like the black guy in 5 who keeps talking about leaving the hood and prison, or the subtle sex innuendos on the submarine scene between the two main chars. It's so un-PC and out of common field, it's hilarious.

I unironically would pay to listen to Optimus read the fucking phone book
>That's leadership. Or brainwashing, or something.
>No, that's Optimus Prime.

Whoever is responsible for the absolute bottom of the barrel, worse than Family Guy/Robot Chicken/Big Bang Theory/political cartoons/liberal talk shows put together-humor in these movies needs to be shot.

The OST is pretty great
youtube.com/watch?v=4df74U4vaOI

Yep! That's what I've been listening to!

youtube.com/watch?v=Y-Dcg7cdnRY

Best track

Shame nobody talks about the soundtracks for these films.

This has over 43 mil views youtube.com/watch?v=4H0JDomv8ac

Jablonsky's score's are popular dude, dont worry

I meant in general where people mention other scores. Has Steve won any Oscars for his work?

>Has Steve won any Oscars for his work?
No, Im not sure if he's even been considered... he should be, the guys pretty gr8. I think he rivals Zimmer

He was Zimmers protege actually.

Daymn, I think Jablonsky should get some recognition from the academy though, even if the film's he scores for are dogshit at times, his music stands out amazingly.

>but i really unironically like michael bay's style
jesusfucking christ

The Two Moons scene was legit kino.

Wish the whole movie could've been like it and more 13 Hourish

His speeches were on point in TLK.

>"Knights, Autobots. This cannot and will not be the end. To save Earth and her people we are going to steal Quintessa's staff. Only you, Vivian, can take it back. I will lead the way into her chamber. And when the account of the ages is etched into the cosmos, let those who exist long after us know that this... was our finest hour!"


>"At the heart of every legend, there is one truth: a few brave souls united to save the world. We can be heroes in our own lives, every one of us, if we only have the courage to try. Our fates were always intertwined, but now our worlds are joined as one. We need to repair our planets, work together, if we wish to survive. A dangerous secret is buried deep inside the Earth. There is more to this planet than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, calling all Autobots: It is time to come home."

Daily reminder that even critics acknowledge Michael bay is a fantastic director bogged by a complete lack of a shit with bad writing and pacing.

His shots are actually beautiful, youre just a hivemind pleb that can't into it.

t. baypleb trying to imitate a Snyderchad

I dont even know how many there are now. I might have seen 3 of them im not even positive. All the alien shit looks just like MoS. Its a shit aesthetic. Does this even follow the TFUniverse?

Daddy's Home and The Other Guys are great movies and Wahlbert is great in them. I agree with your assessment, he's more suited for the ironic tough guy role.

There was barely any action in it!!!

Who thought it would be a good idea to have the main draw being solving a mystery? an uninteresting one, by doing very little actual solving and most importantly, in every fucking movie it is revealed Cybertronians have been on Earth for a long time.

I have to say I got a bit dizzy with the aspect ratio switches. But I watched it on a 32'' TV so maybe it wasn't as glaring on a theater.

BTW I'm the biggest bayformers fan and I loved this one more than the previous one. You have to realize that Bay has refined his style to pure form. He doesn't care about the plot or even the characters anymore, but having an explosion of beauty, color and movement on the screen.

It's also why the english woman changes into a super tight dress for no reason when she gets to the castle. Because for Bay there doesn't need to be a reason to make a scene more attractive.